What if? - Fifty Shades of Crossfire
by desktop dragon
Summary: What if?...What if Ana had had more of a backbone and walked away from Christian after the belt incident? What if she had refused his offer of a lift to Portland? What if she went to New York with Jack and met another certain multi billionaire while she was there? What if all three are linked in ways they never imagined? I DO NOT OWN FIFTY SHADES OF GREY OR THE CROSSFIRE SERIES
1. Chapter 1

**AUTHOR NOTE: Hi this is my latest offering I have gone for a crossover this time, of FSOG and the Crossfire series, and its an alternative reality – what if Ana doesn't return to Christian after she leaves him and refuses his lift to Portland to Jose's exhibition. She goes to New York with Jack Hyde and meets Gideon Cross there I will say my Ana is more ballsy and feisty in this alternative story and there will be no Eva featured in it. **

CHAPTER 1

It's Day 3 post Christian Grey and I am feeling pretty good actually, I gave myself a pity party after I left him and cried all the way home, and cried myself to sleep but when I woke up Sunday morning I decided enough was enough, no man was going to treat me like that, what the hell was I thinking he had too many deep seated issues for me to conquer I hope he manages to find happiness one day but it won't be with me, I can't and wont be what he needs.

I head to work at my new job, I push the cheque Christian gave me for Wanda into my purse, I will pay that into my bank account at lunchtime and then I can go car shopping after work I saw a nice little compact for sale nearby and for a fraction of the amount Christian gave me, I looked up the value of Wanda and Christian lied about what Taylor managed to get for her, by over $!0,000 yes Wanda was a classic but she wasn't worth $24,000 so I am keeping what she was worth and sending the rest back to Christian, even doing that I will have savings for the first time in my life.

Kate left me her car to use and as I drive to work I am thinking through my plans for the future, I have a job, I will have a car of my own again hopefully soon, I am going Portland on Thursday to see Jose and see his exhibition. By the time I reach the office I am eager to put Christian Grey behind me. I take my cell phone from my purse and cancel the call divert which I had set up to the Blackberry which Christian had given me.

After an interesting and fulfilling first day I make my way home stopping off for some groceries at the local supermarket. I decide to leave car shopping until the weekend. I am making myself some tea when the intercom buzzes.

"Hello" I say

"Delivery for Anastasia Steele" a bored voice answers.

I press the button and wait, moments later there is a knock at the door, I answer and take delivery of a large yet very light box.

When I open it I see a beautiful bouquet of roses and a small card its from Christian, I shake my head and toss the box and the card in the bin without reading it, but I don't have the heart to dump the flowers they are so beautiful, so I hunt for a vase for them before settling down with my tea. After tea I call Jose.

"Hello" his familiar voice makes me smile.

"Hi Jose, how are you?" I ask

"Ana! How are you? I'm good, are you still coming on Thursday?" He asks excitedly

"I sure am" I reply, "What time does it start, I have to drive from Seattle and I am working now so won't be leaving until 5pm and it's about a 3 hour drive" I say with an apologetic tone.

"That's ok it starts at 7:30, so if you leave at 5pm you'll be here just after 8pm"

I smile at his laid back reaction, we chat for a few more minutes I tell him about Kate holidaying in Barbados and my new job, I mention I'm not too keen on my new boss Jack Hyde and that he makes me feel uncomfortable, but that I love my job. When I have finished I call my dad, just to check in.

"Hello Annie how are you?" he says to me, that kind reassuring voice makes me smile

"Hi I'm good, I have a job and I am loving it" I say, my call is pretty one sided as always with my dad, he doesn't talk much and I get the impression he is watching the football or something.

"How's Christian?" my dad asks suddenly

I stop and think for a moment, "I don't know, we broke up, it wasn't working out so I called it quits" I say firmly

There is a silence before Ray finally responds, "Oh I see, you broke it off, he didn't hurt you did he?" he asks eventually

I close my eyes, yes he did, but I am not going to tell my dad that, "No, it just wasn't going to work we wanted different things" I say

There is another silence and then he simply says "well ok as long as you are alright Annie?"

"I am" I state firmly

We talk a while longer and then I go for a shower before heading to bed.

By Wednesday I am into the routine of the office I arrive, get my instructions from Jack and give him his coffee, as I fire up my computer I look through the pile of manuscripts which Jack has just handed me to read. I am lost in my work when my email beeps drawing my attention to a new message in my in box. I glance at my watch its way past lunch time I look at the email and my heart sinks as I see it is from Christian.

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** Tomorrow

**Date:** June 8 2011 14:05

**To:** Anastasia Steele

Dear Anastasia

Forgive this intrusion at work. I hope that it's going well. Did you get my flowers?

I note that tomorrow is the gallery opening for your friend's show, and I'm sure you've not had time to purchase a car, and its a long drive. I would be more than happy to take you – should you wish.

Let me know.

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc

I shake my head and sigh. I know it's only polite to reply so I think carefully about what I want to say. I have the response worked out in my head when I hit reply I pause and then start to type.

**From:** Anastasia Steele

**Subject:** Tomorrow

**Date:** June 8 2011 14:25

**To:** Christian Grey

Dear Christian

Thank you for the flowers, I did receive them, they were lovely.

With regard to Jose's show, thank you for your kind offer. However, I have the use of Kate's car while she is in Barbados so I am able to drive myself to Portland tomorrow when I finish work.

Thank you once again.

Regards

Anastasia Steele

Assistant to Jack Hyde, Editor, SIP

I read through it before I hit send and then I delete Christian's email to me from my inbox. I quickly grab myself a bite to eat and then return my attention back to work.

The next day I am so excited about my trip to Portland, I haven't heard from Christian again and I am very relieved about that. The day flies by and soon it is time for me to leave, I am out of the office at 5pm and I jump into Kate's car and take the interstate to Portland. I am excited to see Jose again, I have missed him.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

Traffic is kind and I arrive shortly after 8pm when I arrive I am met by a tall woman with short blond hair and bright red lipstick, she smiles at me and talks to me as though she knows me, I walk into the first room and see Jose, he leaves the people he is talking to and comes over to me and pulls me into an embrace.

"Ana, how are you? Thank you for coming you look good"

I smile and hug him tightly.

"How did you get here?" he asks

"I drove", I reply. I don't mention that I don't have Wanda any more.

Jose is called away to talk to the press and I wander into another room where I am confronted by huge photographs of me, I gasp at them, not sure what to think of them, I am speechless as I stand staring at them I hear a familiar voice behind me.

"Seems I'm not the only one who finds you intriguing Miss Steele" I spin around and am confronted by a pair of Icy grey eyes. I am speechless; I just stand there my mouth hanging open staring. When my brain finally catches up, I frown at him.

"What are you doing here?" I ask

Christian stares back at me, "you invited me Anastasia" he replies simply.

"That was before we broke up" I snap, I go to walk away and he grabs my elbow.

"Anastasia please" he says

I yank my arm out of his grasp "No Christian, we broke up" I say and walk away, leaving him standing there watching me. I am a little unnerved by his behaviour. I move into another room and look at the pictures Jose has taken, I am impressed he has bags of talent and I am so proud he has realised his dream.

"What do you think?" a voice whispers in my ear, I turn and I am facing Jose grinning widely at me, he hands me a glass of fruit juice, I smile and take it from him with a word of thanks.

"It's amazing I am so proud of you" I say, "but...a little warning of the photos of me would have been nice" I add.

Jose's smile slips, "Oh shit I forgot, I'm sorry Ana I meant to tell you, but someone likes them they have all been sold, you're a poster girl!"

I gape at him, why would anyone buy photographs of me? I shake my head, "Obviously someone with more money than sense" I say and as I say it Christian pops into my head, I quickly dismiss the idea, we broke up what would he want with pictures of me?

The evening is huge success and after a couple of hours I regretfully say my goodbyes, explaining I have to get back as I have work tomorrow. I look at my watch, If I leave now I should be back shortly after midnight. Jose hugs me tightly and tells me to stay in touch. As I go to climb into Kate's car I perceive someone behind me, I turn and am confronted by Christian Grey, I thought he'd left hours ago, but obviously not. I quickly turn away and get into Kate's car without a word and drive away.

The next day I follow the same routine at work I am loving this job I am still on my guard with regard to Jack he makes all my internal alarms go off and I know I don't want to get into a situation where I am alone with him, he reminds me of husband number three and I shiver at the memory. I am drawn from my thoughts by the man himself who pokes his head out of his office.

"Ana go get me some lunch will you?" he says with a grin "My usual" he adds and then disappears again. I head out to the deli and grab his lunch and take it back to him. When I go for my break I head to the post office with a cheque and small note for Christian. I look at the envelope before I mail it, I feel better now, I have done the right thing and cut all ties to him, I have no obligation to him and I can move on.

I think about what I wrote

_Dear Christian_

_Please find enclosed a cheque for $12,500 which is the overpayment for my car which Taylor sold. I looked online and found the real value for a car of Wanda's make, age and condition._

_I understand your motives for doing this were genuine and I thank you but I don't feel right about keeping the money._

_Regards_

_Ana_

I pull a second envelope out of my purse and look at it and smile, this one is also going to Escala but is addressed to Taylor and inside is the laundered handkerchief he handed to me when he drove me home I have enclosed a small note with just the word thank you written on it as I don't think anything more needs to be said. When I have completed my errand I head back to work and finish up with the days work. As I am ready to go, I feel a hand on the back of my chair. I turn and see Jack standing there.

"Ana, you have has a stellar week, would you like to join us for a drink?" he asks

"Us?" I ask

"Yes a few of are going to Fifties, the bar round the corner" he says

"Yeah sure why not" I say, if there are a few more people there I feel safer than if I was alone with him.

The evening is good, I get to talk to more of the staff of SIP and they are all friendly and forthcoming, I feel I could be friends with Clare, she pulls me to one side and warns me about Jack, and tells me some pretty disturbing stuff about him, its all hearsay and rumour but as she said why do his assistants only ever last about a month at the most and none are ever retained by the company. I knew there was something about him I didn't trust, now I am warned and I know to keep my distance and not allow myself to be alone with him.

I am talking to Clare and Jack comes to stand with us, he stands way too close and makes me feel uncomfortable I take a step back and push him away, he drapes his arm around me and I remove it immediately.

"Please don't do that Jack" I say firmly

"Oh come on Ana" he replies, he is clearly on the way to being totally drunk and he unnerves me, he lunges towards me and I push him away.

"I said NO" I say firmly

"But Ana" he whines

"The lady said no" I look up at see Christian standing a few feet away, his hands balled into fists and anger emanating from every pore, Jack turns and looks at him and smirks

"And who would you be asshole?" he slurs

I immediately reach out and put my hand on Christians arm, as he takes a menacing step forwards "Jack!" I exclaim, I am pissed off at Christian for stalking me yet again but then again Jack isn't behaving like a gentleman either I introduce the two men to each other "Jack, this is a... friend of mine, Christian, we...erm...dated for a while, Christian this is my boss, Jack" I stare at Christian pleading with my eyes for him not to do anything stupid or cause a scene.

Christian stares at me, that damned impassive look on his face, he seems to be working something out in his mind, eventually he holds out his hand to Jack, his eyes are as hard as flint and when he smiles but it doesn't reach them, he is still burning with rage, I can tell. Jack assesses him and accepts the handshake, I watch carefully as the two men circle each other, it's like a pissing contest. I shake my head and take the opportunity as they face off to move away from both of them.

My phone buzzes and I've received a text from Kate, my heart leaps and I open it and read it.

_Hi hope you had a good first week at work, coming home next week – Ethan returning Tuesday. K x_

I quickly send a reply,

_Hi all good here, see you next week A x_

"Ana" I hear my name called and I look up, and see Christian approaching me. I shake my head holding up my hand to stop him coming any closer and I turn on my heel and leave the bar.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

After a very productive weekend, I spent Saturday getting my hair cut as it was getting far too long, and I needed a change, and I am now sporting a sleek shoulder length layered bob which I am really pleased with, after that I went car shopping and managed to get a really nice little compact car and driving it I realise how old and crappy Wanda actually was. I arrive at work feeling positive and happy; Jack calls me in and gives me my instructions. I am a little concerned by something he has asked though he wants me to accompany him to New York for a literary exhibition, after what Clare told me and his behaviour on Friday I am on my guard, but part of me realises that professionally this would be a huge opportunity for me, but I also realise I will be on my own with Jack, a situation I swore I would never put myself in. I think over the pros and cons before deciding to go with it. I book the flight and the hotel making sure my room is two floors below Jacks room. I also make a mental note to call Ray and ask him for a self defence refresher.

Just before lunchtime my phone rings, I pause from the notes I am writing on a very promising manuscript that has been sent in.

"Jack Hyde's office, Ana Steele speaking" I say absently

"Hello Anastasia" I freeze immediately.

"What do you want now Christian? Please don't call me at work" I reply immediately feeling anxiety and anger flood through me, how dare he invade my time at work.

"You are not going to New York I won't allow it" he says coldly

I feel the fury explode inside me and I glare at the phone as I hiss back at him, "Who the hell do you think you are? You don't own me, you don't get to tell me where I can go and where I can't and you certainly don't get a say in what I do in relation to my career, get it through your thick skull that we are over, finished, no more, you do not get a say in my life so leave. Me. Alone." I slam the phone down and grab my purse and storm out of the building.

"Ana?" I hear Jack call me, but I am just too pissed, I need to get out.

"I'm going to lunch" I call back over my shoulder, without breaking my stride. I push open the doors and walk out on to the street I pause and take a deep breath I am shaking I am so angry. What the hell is he playing at and why is he stalking me?

I am sitting calming down at a coffee shop when I look up and see Taylor standing in front of me, my stomach turns over and I immediately look around expecting to see Christian somewhere.

"I'm alone Miss Steele, may I sit down" Taylor says kindly, gesturing to the seat at my table, I nod and he sits down. Taking a deep breath he begins to speak.

"Miss Steele, before I start to speak, I want you to know Mr Grey doesn't know I'm here, I just want you to be aware of what kind of man you are working for before you decide whether or not to accompany him to New York..." I halt his sentence by holding up my hand.

I smile at him, I can see he only has my best interests at heart, and its not his fault he works for a crazy man "Taylor, thank you, but I know exactly what kind of man Jack Hyde is, my internal alarms have been on high alert ever since I met him, and I have been warned and made aware of his past ...erm...indiscretions".

Taylor nods, "He is a very dangerous man Miss Steele and I would hate for you to get hurt" he says quietly.

"I know" I reply, "I am going to talk to my stepfather, he taught me self defence and I am going to ask him to refresh me a little before I go to New York with Jack" I take a sip of my coffee as Taylor smiles at me.

"That's good to know, your step father taught you self defence?" he asks clearly interested

I nod, "Yes he's ex army, he taught me to shoot and throw knives as well, I know how to take care of myself, I don't own a gun but I know how to handle one and I am a crack shot, Ray said I was a natural when he taught me" I say proudly

"Who is your step father?" Taylor asks quietly

"Ray Steele, he was in special op's for a while" I say

Taylor looks impressed but doesn't say anything.

"Taylor can I ask you a question?" I say staring straight at him, he hesitates and then nods.

"Taylor, how did Christian know about my trip to New York?" I stop and see Taylor shuffle uncomfortably in his seat, he doesn't answer for a moment and then leans closer.

"I am risking my job by just being here, if Mr Grey ever discovered I had told you...well" I nod at him.

"Don't worry Taylor, I won't breathe a word, but I think I have guessed, he has bought SIP hasn't he?" Taylor looks relieved but doesn't say a word, but he doesn't have to I just know.

I shake my head in despair, damn that man, why won't he just leave me alone, I will have to leave and move on now, and I really like my job.

"Thank you Taylor" I say and I stand to leave.

Taylor puts his hand out and touches my arm, "Miss Steele, please don't think badly of him, he is a good man, he just has some strange ways, he really cares about you, I have never seen him like this over a woman before, since you left he's been ...a mess"

I sigh, "I can't be what he wants and needs, and I won't be either, he has issues which he needs to overcome and I'm not the person to do it, I won't be treated the way he wants to treat me, I have more pride and self respect for that, I won't be owned, I am not someone's possession".

Taylor smiles and nods at me, "I understand Miss Steele" with that he stands "thank you for returning my handkerchief, you didn't have to do that" he says as he goes to walk away.

"I had to, it was the right thing to do, did Christian get the cheque I sent?" I ask

Taylor nods, "He did, he was ...very angry about it"

I smile, "I bet he was, thank you Taylor, you take care of yourself" I say

Taylor nods "You too Miss Steele" he says and then turns and leaves without another word.

I return to the office and continue getting things ready for the exhibition, I don't give Christian another thought, until late afternoon when my phone rings.

"Jack Hyde's office, Ana Steele speaking" I say

"Anastasia, please don't hang up just listen to me" Christian's voice comes to me and against my better judgement I don't immediately hang up.

"You have one minute, make it count because I will hang up on you" I say sharply

"Thank you, I apologise for earlier, you are quite correct it is none of my business what you do, however I cannot and will not in good conscience let you go to New York with Jack Hyde without warning you about what sort of man he is. I have done a number of checks on him and he has an alarming reputation and..." he stops as I butt in and silence him.

"Christian, I appreciate your concern but I am fully aware of the sort of man Jack Hyde is, I have been warned by other employees of his reputation and I have no intention of allowing myself to be manipulated by him, if that is all I am very busy, please don't call me again here" I hang up without another word but I am grateful for his concern and I start to feel bad about the way I cut him off.

I quickly grab my cellphone and send him a quick text;

_Hi, I really am grateful and appreciate your concern, thank you. A _

I send it and get back to work, moments later my phone pings and I call up the response I have received from Christian. It is short and sweet.

_You are welcome._


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

I am sitting on the plane, going through my notes ready for the exhibition; I made sure to book my seat away from Jack. As I sit there I go through the self defence I went through with Ray, I am still a little sore and stiff but glad I did it. He was concerned when I called him and told him why I wanted a refresher. I think I allayed his fears and worries and I promised him I would call him once I arrived in New York and I would keep in touch periodically while I was here to let him know I was ok.

I am thinking about everything that has happened to me recently, my world was turned upside down by Christian, but I made the right choice, I am not a submissive and although I care about him, he was my first after all, I won't be treated like a possession. As we sit waiting to take off, I idly look out of the window and my heart leaps as I see a jet speeding down the runway and taking off into the air, along the side of it are the words Grey Enterprise Holdings, Christian must be on that plane, I wonder where he is going?

It's a long flight and I doze on and off throughout it, eventually I am awakened by someone gently shaking me, I open my eyes and see Jack smiling down at me.

"Wakey, wakey, we are about to land" he says, I nod and fasten my seatbelt watching as he returns to his seat.

I smile at the woman next to me, "Is that your boyfriend?" she asks

I shake my head, "No, my boss, we are in New York on business" I say

We arrive at the hotel and check in, I go to my room and head into the shower to freshen up.

I am just finishing getting ready, I have rung Ray and he was pleased to hear from me but I could detect the hint of worry in his voice when he told me to have a good time, I am wishing I hadn't spoken so freely about my concerns about Jack to him, but it all came tumbling out when he was going through my self defence with me and asking me why I wanted to sharpen up on it. I am pulled from my thoughts when there is a knock at my door, I freeze wondering what to do, I quickly go through the self defence moves in my mind and I grab my purse, take a deep breath and head towards the door. I open it and Jack stands there smiling widely, he looks me up and down with greedy eyes which immediately make me feel uncomfortable.

"Hi, do you want to go and get something to eat?" he asks

I shake my head, "No thank you Jack, I am going to head out and check out New York, I have never been here before and I want to see a bit of it while I can, we won't have any time tomorrow to see any of the sights". I go to walk past him and he grabs my arm.

"Ana I want to have dinner with you" he says with a dangerous note in his voice.

I yank my arm free and swing around to face him, "I'm not hungry, thank you Jack" I say firmly.

I walk towards the elevator and can hear Jack following me so I quickly change direction and take the stairs instead. When I reach the lobby I feel safe and I take a moment to catch my breath, a man in hotel uniform approaches me.

"Excuse me Miss are you alright?" he asks kindly

I smile at him, "Yes thank you, I decided to take the stairs to get a bit of exercise and I am sort of regretting it now" I say lightly, but my emotions betray me when Jack appears in the lobby.

"If you will excuse me" I say and leave the hotel.

I take in the sights of New York, it is busy and noisy I am feeling a little overwhelmed by the rush of input to my senses. I walk towards Times Square and stand and stare at the buildings I take out my phone and snap a few photographs. As I am exploring the city I see a beautiful building in front of me, I walk towards it awestruck at its splendour, as I stop in front of it and gaze upwards towards the sapphire spire the doors open and a man exits, nearly walking into me. I look at him and my breath catches, he is extraordinarily good looking, intense blue eyes and slightly overlong black hair sweeping the collar of a very expensive looking suit, and before I can stop myself I gasp. He looks at me and it's as if his eyes are boring through me, I feel as though he can see through to my very soul.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to walk into you" he says in a rasping deep voice.

"That's ok" I mutter, "I was just admiring this building and I was blocking the exit" I add

"You like it?" he asks

I nod, "It's beautiful "I say.

"Thank you, it's good to know, people appreciate it" he says with a slight smile

I frown wondering what he means by that comment; my confusion must show on my face as he steps towards me holding out his hand.

"Gideon Cross" he says politely

My mouth drops open. Holy shit, I am standing in front of _the_ Gideon Cross, I don't believe this, "So this is the Crossfire...it's your building?" I stammer, gesturing towards the building.

He nods at me and smiles almost apologetically. I quickly pull myself together, and shake his hand "Ana Steele, this is my first time in New York, I am here with my boss for a literary exhibition and I am just taking some time out to explore before we get down to work tomorrow" I say, I cringe as I realise I am rambling, but Cross stares at me, his eyebrows raising slightly at my words.

"Who do you work for?" he asks

"I am an assistant to Jack Hyde who is an editor for Seattle Independent Publishers" I reply

"I see, Seattle? you are a long way from home, do you enjoy your job Miss Steele?" he asks

I smile a genuine free smile as I think about how I have my dream job, "I do, I graduated recently and its my dream job" I say, "I love reading" I add lamely and I feel myself cringing again and blushing at my verbal diarrhoea.

I see the hint of a smile playing on Cross' lips, "Well it was delightful to meet you Miss Steele" he says.

"Likewise" I say I watch as Cross climbs elegantly into a waiting car and the car pulls away.

I make my way back to the hotel, and as I walk into the lobby I stop dead. Sitting at a table engrossed in whatever he is looking at on his laptop is Christian Grey, I swallow deeply, what the hell is he doing here? I try and sneak past without him seeing me but another voice attracts his attention to me.

"There you are Ana, I thought you'd got lost" I see Jack striding towards me, I watch as Christian rises and walks over, what the hell am I going to do now? Jack looks up at Christian and scowls, recognising him.

"Hello Anastasia" Christian says coolly.

"Christian" I say

"Would you like to join me for dinner?" he asks staring at me with those impenetrable Grey eyes

I think of my options, I don't really want to spend time with either of them but I need to get away from Jack and it seems I need to reiterate to Christian that nothing is happening nor is going to happen between us, so I smile and accept Christian's offer. A flash of triumph spreads across his face before the impassive mask slips firmly back in its place. He holds out his arm to me which I accept and he walks me towards the restaurant.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I hiss as soon as we are out Jacks hearing

"Keeping you safe" he replies coldly

I stare incredulously at him, "You flew all the way here from Seattle to keep Jack away from me?"

Christian shrugs nonchalantly and I sigh shaking my head in disbelief.

"Christian, let me be clear, I am having dinner with you, I will pay for myself and it means nothing, we are not together any more, we are not getting back together I am not in any relationship with you we are simply sharing a meal together as friends ok? I don't want you to get the wrong idea or think there is anything more to this than that, and just for the record I can take care of myself"

I feel him stiffen and he turns and stares at me, "Miss Steele, we are sharing a dinner, I will be paying for it and we are going to discuss our future, I want you in my life, I want you more than I have ever wanted anything before in my life, you will sit and you will listen to what I have to say" he stops and runs his hand up and down my arm, and his other hand touches my chin lifting my head slightly to look up at him. "Please, give me this, just hear me out?" he asks gently.

I am shocked at the almost pleading tone in his voice, he sounds so vulnerable, I am speechless and all I can do is nod, the look of relief on his face is huge, and he beams at me, leading me to a private alcove table away from the other diners.


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

I am sitting looking at the menu wondering what to order, my appetite has suddenly diminished considerably, I feel Christian's eyes on me and all I want to do is escape to my room.

"Would you like me to order for you?" Christian asks politely

I look up at him, "No thank you, I am quite capable of choosing what I wish to eat" I say, I immediately regret how sharp that sounded, "I'm sorry that sounded better in my head" I say in a softer tone.

I look at Christian and he smiles at me, but he looks nervous. The waiter comes over and we place our order and Christian orders the wine. As we wait for our food to be brought Christian reaches over the table holding his hand out to me.

"Ana, I want to talk to you, about us" I immediately go to stop him and he raises his hand, I shut my mouth, "Please hear me out, listen to what I have to say" he says.

I nod and I see him take a deep breath. "Anastasia, you said you loved me?" he says, I nod wondering where this is going.

"Do you still ...love me?" he asks tentatively, he looks so vulnerable and lost but I can't be what he wants I have to be cruel to be kind. I take a deep breath.

"Christian", I say, I pause I want to say this right I look him straight in the eye as I continue, "I will always think of you with affection and yes I love you, you were my first, but I can't be what you want and what you need, I won't be treated the way you want to treat me, it won't work you are too controlling and I am a free spirit we are incompatible, please let it go, let me go, you will always have a special place in my heart, you were the first man I made love to, you were the first man I allowed to touch me, yes I love you but I can't allow myself to be in love with you".

"I want to be the last man to ever touch you and make love to you" he says earnestly

I shake my head, "Christian have you not heard a word I said, we are not compatible, we want different things, please don't spoil this evening, lets part as friends, I would like to be your friend"

Christian snorts, "Friends? I don't have friends, I can't explain what I feel when you are near me, I want you Ana, not like before I want ...more"

I swallow deeply, he wants me, he wants the light, I stare at him could it work? "What do you mean more?" I ask tentatively

"I want you in my life, not as my sub not as a friend, I want you in my life as my lover, my girlfriend, I want to feel how I felt when I took you gliding, when we spent time together you made me feel ...complete"

I feel tears run down my face, "So no punishments, no rules, no hitting, no controlling me?" I ask

He shakes his head, "No" he says

I think carefully, can I do this? My heart gives me the answer before my head has a chance to fire up "Ok we will give it a try" I say

Before I can say anything else he is on his feet and hauling me up and pulling me to him holding me tightly, I carefully place my hands on his head so I don't accidentally touch his body and he kisses me hard his tongue invading my mouth.

He pulls away gasping for air, and cups my face with his hands staring into my eyes he smiles "You won't regret this" he says

"I hope not" I reply.

We sit down as the waiter approaches with our food. I need to say something, my head is spinning from the events of the past few moments, but I need to say this.

"Christian if we are to work we need to be totally open and honest with each other, we need to trust each other with some pretty shitty stuff from our pasts" I stop as his head whips up to mine.

"What do you mean?" he demands

I pause working out what I want to say, "It is obvious you have...issues and baggage, the whole touching thing and I've seen the scars on your chest and back" I hold up my hand as he goes to interrupt me. "Please let me finish" I say, he nods and I continue, "I too have baggage, things have happened to me in my past and I am prepared to share all that with you, but you need to be as open and honest with me if we are to stand any chance of making this work" I see a flash of panic on his face, "I don't mean now this minute, but over time, we need to talk to each other about our pasts and the things which have happened to us which have made us the people we are now"

I see him thinking over my words, I wait and then I see him slowly shaking his head, "No I can't" he says at last, He reaches over the table to touch my hand "If I were to tell you, I mean tell you everything, you would leave me and would never want anything to do with me again, I can't risk that"

I stare at him and pull my hand away, "Well we don't stand any chance then, we can't do this Christian, I need to trust you and you need to trust me, you obviously can't or won't, and you think by not talking to me, you will keep me, well wrong again". I stand up and throw my napkin on the table, "thank you for a lovely meal Christian" I walk over to him and kiss his cheek before leaving the restaurant and heading up to my room.

* * *

I am eating breakfast in the restaurant the next morning when Jack breezes in. I glance up at him and point to the pile of brochures and papers at the side of me; he beams at me but makes no effort to collect them.

"Good morning Ana, how are you this morning, ready to rock and roll?" he says with a grin

I nod but don't say a word, Jack takes the seat beside me, and shuffles uncomfortably close.

"Ana, I don't want to pry but what is between you and Grey?" he asks

"Nothing" I reply shortly, "We are friends, nothing more" I add, I drain my mug of tea and push the final bit of toast in my mouth before standing to move away. Jack grabs my arm and pulls me down and leans in close and whispers in my ear.

"You see, I don't believe a word of it, I have seen the way he looks at you, like he wants to fuck your brains out, do you and he have something going on?" I turn my head and stare at him coldly.

"Jack, I have told you there is nothing between us, and even if there were it is none of your business, you are my boss not my keeper, now get your hands off me" I go to pull my arm away and he grips tighter, until it is almost painful.

"Oh now Ana, it is my business, because I want to fuck your brains out, and he has been getting in the way of me doing just that, I was going to have you last night until he interrupted, why do you think I brought you here with me to New York? I got you this job, I fought for you when Elizabeth wanted someone more experienced, so you owe me, you owe me big time and you are going to repay me if you want to keep your job, we are going to walk nice and casual upstairs to your room and I am going to fuck you hard do you understand me?" I feel the dread running through me, thankfully I kept my wits about me and pressed the voice record button on my phone and recorded his disgusting threats. I say nothing but nod my head, I stand and glare up at Jack who is practically salivating.

"Let me go, I will not be manhandled" I hiss at him.

He laughs and shakes his head, "No way sweetheart, you think I was born yesterday? The minute I let go of you, you will run" I quickly reassess and decide my best bet is to cause a scene here where there are witnesses.

"LET GO OF ME JACK" I scream, the whole restaurant goes silent and people turn to look, Jack looks daggers at me, and instead of letting go tries to drag me out of the restaurant, as he does so I see my chance, I turn and with my free hand punch him squarely in face and knee him in the groin, he falls to his knees and groans and as he loses his grip on me I wrench myself free and turn and run out of the restaurant.

"You fucking cock blocking prick teasing bitch you will regret that" he screams at me but I don't look back and make my way to my room, I pack quickly and call Ray.

"Daddy, it's me" I stammer as he picks up

"Annie what's happened, did that Jack guy try something?" I hear the anger mixed with worry in his voice.

"Yes, but I'm ok" I say, I quickly outline what happened and what I did, and Ray talks to me and calms me down.

"You did good baby girl, it was real smart of you to record him threatening you, now you need to get yourself out of there and to the nearest police department and press charges ok?"

"Yes daddy" I say, I know I have probably lost my job, but I need to do this. I head downstairs and to the desk where a man in suit is waiting for me, I glance at his badge and see he is the manager.

"Miss Steele, could you come this way please" he says kindly, I hesitate and I think he realises I am still afraid.

"Miss Steele, we are aware of the situation that took place in the restaurant and we took the liberty of calling the police and two officers are here to take your statement" he says, I glance over to see Jack handcuffed and being led away, I sag with relief and follow the manager into a side room. I freeze as I walk through the door and see Gideon Cross standing talking to the two police officers.

"Miss Steele, we meet again" he says as he turns and holds his hand out to me, "Please sit down, how are you, are you alright?" I shake his hand and nod silently lost for words, he gestures to the seat beside him, I sit down totally confused as to why he is here.

"Mr Cross, why are you here?" I ask eventually

"This is my hotel, I own it, and as the owner I was informed of the disturbance this morning and I came straight over" I nod, it sounds feasible and I relax a little. One of the police officers asks me details of what happened I outline once again what happened and I hand over my phone and play the recording I made, as I hear Jack's voice I feel tears well up in my eyes and I quickly wipe them away.

"Miss Steele what are your plans now?" Cross asks me, he seems genuinely concerned for me.

I shake my head, "I have no idea, I was Jacks assistant, I doubt I even have a job now, I suppose I should phone Seattle and find out what they want me to do" I watch Gideon stand up and reach in his pocket and pull out his cell phone. He taps in a number and waits.

"Roache, Cross here, how are you?...yes its been a while...there has been a situation here at one of my hotels in New York, your employee Miss Ana Steele was assaulted by your other employee Jack Hyde...yes that is correct...yes he has... she is here with me now...yes...right, I'll take care of her, thank you Roach, goodbye" he hangs up and smiles at me.

"Ana, would you like to accompany me to the Literary Exhibition? I am attending as my company Cross (New York) Publishing are also exhibiting there?" he holds his hand out to me, I am feeling dazed as I stand and take his hand, I look down at my case and he turns to the manager, "have Miss Steele's luggage returned to her room" I go to hand the key card to the manager, but Gideon takes it from me and glances at the room number, before handing it to the manager.

I realise I can make this work, "I need to get the brochures and paperwork if I am still going to the exhibition" I say

"It has been taken care of already. Shall we go Ana?" he says

I nod and silently follow him out of the office; he grips my hand tightly as we leave the hotel.


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

"Ana are you alright?" As I am leaving the hotel with Gideon I hear my name called and I turn to see Christian walking swiftly towards me, I see Taylor with him also looking anxiously at me, I smile at Taylor, letting him know I am ok and he nods at me.

I turn my attention to Christian, "Yes thank you Christian I am, I have given my statement to the police and Jack has been taken away, now if you will excuse me I need to get to the literary exhibition, as I am now the sole representative from SIP" I smile kindly at him.

Christian stares at me and then takes a shot look at Gideon, "I'll inform Roach at SIP of the situation" he says calmly. Gideon steps forward and holds out his hand.

"Grey good to finally meet you in person, Gideon Cross, there's no need to put yourself out, I have taken care of everything for Miss Steele, and Roach is fully in the loop of the situation". He stops and waits for Christian to speak.

I see anger building and Christian's jaw tightens, he glares at Gideon and makes no move to shake his hand. "I see" he answers coldly, he turns to me, "I will be attending the exhibition later, I will maybe see you there Anastasia?" he says which leaves me with no doubt that he will make a point of seeing me.

"I'm sure you will" I say sarcastically, I see Christian stiffen and his hands fist as Gideon wraps a protective arm around me and leads me to his waiting car.

"What was all that about?" Gideon asks calmly as he climbs into the car next to me.

I shake my head and he reaches over and touches my hand. I turn and look at him and I feel the tears starting to cloud my vision, I hastily brush them away.

"I can't say much I signed a NDA but basically Christian and I had a very brief ...relationship but it ended a couple of weeks or so ago".

Gideon smiles at me kindly, "Do you love him?" he asks, I shake my head vehemently and lick my dry lips.

"No, but he holds a special place in my heart as he was...my first, but he...we wanted different things, we were too different" I say, somewhat shocked at myself for revealing so much about my time with Christian, I quickly think through everything I have just blurted out and go over it, until I am happy that nothing I have said could violate the NDA I signed.

"Your first?" Gideon asks incredulously focussing on that one part.

I feel uncomfortable, discussing this but it's my own fault I opened the door and he has walked though it. I nod silently.

"You are how old, 21, 22?" he asks

"I am 21 nearly 22 years old and my reasons for my lack of sexual partners are my own Mr Cross" I say defensively, glaring at him, in a way which I hope tells him to back off.

He smiles at me, "I'm sorry Miss Steele I didn't mean to offend you, its just you are such a stunningly beautiful woman, I expected ...well very few people surprise me Miss Steele but you have, and you intrigue me as well". He stops and just stares at me, I feel his amazing blue eyes boring into me again, but I can't look away, I am captivated by them, I try and pull myself together, I can't do this, I need to keep a clear head.

We arrive at the exhibition and I notice Gideon causes a stir as he arrives, the stand with Cross (New York) Publishing are clearly not expecting him and the people manning it burst into a flurry of activity. I am led to the small stand which SIP has booked and I quickly set up the display and arrange the brochures and papers, I am nervous about doing this by myself but anxious to prove that I can to show Roach that I won't let the company down.

I have a very busy and productive morning, by the time lunchtime comes around I have garnered quite a bit of interest in SIP and I call Roach to give him the update on how things are going.

"Good Morning Mr Roach" I say politely when he picks up the phone.

"Ana, how are you?" he says carefully.

"I'm fine sir" I say confidently, I quickly go through all what I have done and how I have collected all the information on prospective authors and explain my plans for the afternoon session.

There is a silence and I worry suddenly I have done something wrong, "Are you there Mr Roach?" I ask eventually.

"Yes...yes I am, sorry Ana, I am just stunned, you have done very well, more than well you have done amazingly under the circumstances, and you have provided more leads and information in one morning of this years exhibition than Hyde has managed in the last 5 years...tell me Ana what did he try to do to you?"

I release a harsh breath and decide to go with the honest and ugly truth, "He told me he wanted to fuck me hard and he would not take no for an answer, and I had to physically remove him from my presence" I reply bluntly

"Physically remove him?" Roach asks

"Yes, I punched him in the face and kneed him in the groin, when he refused to let me go and tried to drag me away" I say. There is another short silence and then Roach speaks again.

"I see" he says, "well rest assured Ana, you definitely have a place at SIP, but the same can't be said for Mr Hyde, don't worry about anything, come and see me when you get back to Seattle and we will have a meeting with Elizabeth to discuss your future here". He adds

"Thank you Mr Roach, I will, but I need to go now" I say

"Yes of course Ana, goodbye" Roach replies

"Goodbye sir" I say and hang up feeling more secure and relieved that my fledgling career is not in tatters. I replenish the brochures and as I prepare for the afternoon session I sense someone behind me, I turn and see Christian standing there, staring at me.

"Ana" he says simply

"Christian" I reply

"Have you eaten?" he asks

"No, if you hadn't noticed I am manning the stand on my own, I haven't had time" I say curtly, returning my attention to the brochures.

"Ana please" he replies, he steps towards me and places his hand on my arm, I turn and face him. As I do so I see Gideon walking over with a brown paper bag.

"Ana, how are you, I brought you some lunch as you haven't had chance to get yourself anything, I wasn't sure what you'd like so I got you a plain chicken salad and a protein smoothie".

I smile widely at Gideon, "Thank you that was very kind of you, how much do I owe you?" I say reaching for my purse.

Gideon gazes at me in surprise, "Ana please don't insult me" he says holding up the bag.

I stare him down, "If you don't allow me to pay my way Mr Cross you will be offending me" I say firmly. To my surprise he throws his head back and laughs, the room goes silent and everyone stares in our direction, this is obviously not a common occurrence.

"Well I do not want to offend you Miss Steele" he says and fishes in his pocket for the receipt which he slips into the bag before handing it to me".

"Thank you" I say, I look at the receipt and retrieve the correct money from my purse, and place it in Gideon's hand. He shakes his head at me.

"Thank you Ana, although it wasn't necessary, I will collect you at the end of the day and drive you back to the hotel" he says as he walks away.

Christian has stood there watching the exchange totally speechless after Gideon has gone he turns to me, fury evident on his face.

"Ana, do not get involved with Cross, he is a known womanizer and he will play with you and when he gets bored he will drop you, you don't deserve that, and I won't allow it" he says

I stare incredulously at him, "Christian it is none of your business who I am friends with, and you certainly don't get to say who I can see and who I can't. I am not in any relationship with Gideon, I only met him yesterday" I say, "Now if you don't mind Christian I have to get on" I turn away from him, pointedly ignoring him, hoping he gets the message and goes.

When I turn around again he has gone and I sigh with relief.


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7

Gideon is as good as his word and at the end of the day he comes over to the SIP stand. I am gathering up all the information I have and packing it away ready to take back to Seattle, I glance at my watch I have 3 hours before I need to head to the airport to catch my flight back to Seattle. I wonder briefly what has happened to Jack but put it out of my mind.

"Ana are you ready to go?" Gideon asks me, I smile at him and nod.

"I am, thank you" I say as I go to gather up the box of information, Gideon takes it from me and carries it out to the car waiting at the curb. I smile at the man who drives Gideon and he nods at me.

"Good evening Miss Steele" he says kindly

"Good Evening" I respond as I climb into the car.

Gideon climbs in beside me, "Have dinner with me?" he asks but making it sound more like a demand

I shake my head, "I'd love to but I have to get to La Guardia to catch my flight to Seattle and I just don't have the time, I'm sorry" I say apologetically.

I see him thinking, "Miss Steele how about you stay another night and I fly you back to Seattle first thing in the morning in one of my planes, I have to visit Seattle on business so it would be nice to have a little company on the flight?"

I stare at him, "Erm...I am expected back at SIP tomorrow morning...and my ticket is booked" I say

With that Gideon pulls his phone from his pocket and makes a couple of calls and just like that I am booked into the hotel for another night and not expected in until tomorrow afternoon and he has taken care of my airline ticket. He smiles at me again, "Now Miss Steele will you have dinner with me?" he says.

"I'd love to" I reply.

I am looking through my clothes in my hotel room, I am wishing I hadn't said yes to dinner, Gideon is rich, even richer than Christian by nearly 3 billion dollars as I discovered after I Googled him and I am having dinner with him, wearing my Walmart dress, I stare at it and then pull myself together, no I won't feel ashamed of who I am if he is embarrassed to be seen with me then that's his problem and he is obviously not the man I think he is. I quickly text Kate and Ray to let them know I am staying another night and am flying back in the morning, and I get responses from Kate thanking me for letting her know but moments later my phone rings I look at the caller ID and smile when I see Ray's name.

"Hi dad" I say brightly

"Annie, why are you staying longer in New York, is it anything to do with that Hyde guy?" my dad sounds worried and I quickly put his mind at rest.

"No, nothing like that, the guy who has been helping me with that has invited me out to dinner and he offered to fly me home tomorrow as he has business in Seattle and I am hitching a ride with him" I say

There is a silence on the line "Who is this guy Annie?" Ray asks carefully

I take a deep breath, "His name is Gideon Cross, he owns the hotel I am staying in, and he also owns a publishing company who were exhibiting at the exhibition SIP was at, he is really nice dad, and before you ask he hasn't tried anything" I say earnestly. There is a silence before Ray responds.

"Gideon Cross...the Gideon Cross, good god Annie you know how to pick them, first Christian Grey and now him, just be careful sweetheart ok?" my dad sound even more worried now.

"I'll be fine dad" I say confidently, "Listen I have to go now, I'll call you when we get back to Seattle" I add

"Ok sweetheart, enjoy your dinner, and let me know when you are home, Bye Annie" he says

"Bye Dad" I answer and I kill the call. I quickly dress and head downstairs to the bar to wait, as I enter I see him sitting at the bar nursing a glass of bourbon, he turn and sees me and his face breaks into a smile and he immediately stands and walks over to me, his eyes run up and down my body and I freeze, watching his reaction.

"You look lovely" he says and kisses my cheek softly whilst offering me his arm, I immediately relax and slip my hand on his arm.

"Thank you" I say

Gideon leads me from the bar and I feel everyone's eyes on me, as we walk outside to where Gideon's car is waiting. I glance at the driver and see it is not the older man who has always been there but a much younger man, I smile at him and he nods politely at me, as he opens the car door.

I climb in and Gideon follows.

"Where are we going?" I ask

"A little restaurant I know it's called Tableau One"

I swallow deeply, I have heard of this place, it has a reputation of having a waiting list of about two months to get a reservation, and it is owned by Arnoldo Ricci the famous TV chef. I nod but I don't say a word.

When we arrive a man greets Gideon and fusses over him, we are lead inside and I see Arnoldo waiting he approaches Gideon and they warmly greet each other, Gideon turns to me and introduces me.

"Arnoldo, this is Miss Ana Steele" Arnoldo Grabs my hand kisses it.

"So very pleased to meet you Miss Steele" he says and escorts us to a small secluded table.

I sit down and pick up the menu, I am shocked at the prices and I think it shows in my face, I quickly scan the menu.

"Ana, please pick whatever you want" Gideon says gently. "What would you like to drink?" he adds

"Erm..White wine please" I mutter feeling more and more out of my depth.

I begin to relax a little when our food is served, "it looks delicious" I say as the plate is placed in front of me.

Gideon smiles again, "So Ana tell me about yourself" he says

I shrug, "what do you want to know?" I ask

He stares at me, "everything" he says seriously.

I swallow deeply again, and then take a deep breath, "well there's not much to tell, I'm an only child I live in Seattle with my best friend Kate, we met at WSU, where I studied English Literature, my mom lives in Georgia with her husband and my stepdad lives in Montesano, work at SIP and before that I put myself through college by working at a little Hardware store" I stop.

"What about your biological father?" Gideon asks.

I shake my head, "dead, I never knew him, the only father I have ever known is Ray Steele my mom's second husband" I say

"I'm sorry" Gideon says quickly

I shrug, "don't be, you weren't to know, Ray is my father in every sense" I reply.

"How did you meet Christian Grey?" Gideon asks

I smile at the memory, "My friend Kate was editor of the college newspaper and she had managed to get an interview with him, he was the guest of honour at the Graduation ceremony, but on the day she was ill she got the flu and she press ganged me into driving to Seattle to interview him instead, I didn't even know who he was, he sort of pursued me after the interview and we had a brief ...relationship".

Gideon nods thoughtfully. "You say you had no idea who Grey was before you met him, tell me had you heard of me?" he asks

I nod, "Yes, I knew of you, I went for an interview for an internship at Cross (Seattle) Publishing but I didn't get it, I got the one at SIP...obviously"

"Really!" Gideon's eyebrows rise at that news.

I wonder where this is heading, "What about you Gideon?" I ask bravely looking straight at him.

He looks taken aback but quickly recovers, "What do you know of me?" he asks tightly.

I sigh "Only what I have read in newspapers and magazine articles...and what I discovered when I Googled you, so probably nothing of any truth or substance, I know that you are the son of Geoffrey Cross who..." I trail off realising what I have just said. Gideon smiles.

"Aah yes dear old dad, Geoffrey Cross who embezzled money and swindled people in a crooked Ponzi Scheme" Gideon says bitterly.

"I'm sorry" I mutter.

He shakes his head, "don't be, he is usually the first thing people think of when the name Cross is mentioned"

I shuffle in my seat, "I know you are obscenely rich and own half of Manhattan, and you have built a huge empire in the leisure industry"

Gideon laughs, "Obscenely rich, yes I suppose I am" he says with amusement, "I take it money doesn't impress you Ana?" he says

I shake my head, "No, I am not a material person, Christian was very generous with his money and all it did was make me feel uncomfortable" I stop and return my attention to my plate.

A sudden thought hits me and I look up at Gideon and am taken aback as he is staring at me intently, "Do you have all this information about me already and are you just asking me to see if I tell you the truth?"

Gideon looks shocked, "No, I haven't, admittedly it is within my power to do a background check on you and discover about you, but it would be a gross invasion of your privacy, and besides if I already knew we would have nothing to talk about over dinner".

I nod and feel myself going red, "I'm sorry" I mutter looking down at my plate.

"No problem, tell me, why did you ask me that?" he says gently

I look up at him "Because Christian researched the hell out me and knew everything about me and I didn't like it". I say firmly.

There is a silence as Gideon seems to be working things out in his mind, "Ana, I like you" he says suddenly, "you are obviously a highly intelligent woman, and you don't let people walk all over you, you have put Christian Grey in his place and you have said no to me, do you have any idea how few people have said no to me before? I find you intriguing" he stops and his hand reaches across the table towards me. He thinks for a moment and then continues to speak. "I would like to get to know you better, normally at this point I would ask you to accompany me and I would be trying to proposition you for sex but I have too much respect for you to do that and besides after the way you reacted to Jack Hyde, I would like to keep my balls although I assure you I would never treat you as he did. I am therefore in uncharted territory, I am very attracted to you physically but also on a deeper level and I have to say this has never actually happened to me before" he stops looking at me; I feel my mouth dropping open at his words.

I look into his face and I see vulnerability in his eyes, it's a look I have seen before in Christians eyes. I am torn, I like him, there is something about him which pulls me to him , but I don't want to get burnt like I did with Christian.

"What do you mean, this has never happened to you before, when you have somewhat of a reputation as a ladies man?" I say trying to lighten the atmosphere.

Gideon snorts, "Yes I do, but I normally tend to keep the women I like as friends separate from the women I like to fuck, I don't fuck my friends, I don't date, it raises expectations which I am unable to fulfil, however, you are making me see things differently, you are making me want to break all my rules, I will admit I am ...uncomfortable with this realisation as I have never been in this position before, but I would really like to get to know you better". He stops his eyes are almost pleading with me.

"Well" I begin, "We have a long flight tomorrow morning to Seattle we can talk some more then if you want, and for the record I won't think of tonight as a date" I am being deliberately non committal but it appears to be enough for him a genuine smile spreads across his face which takes my breath away, it lights up his face.

He squeezes my hand tightly, "Thank you Ana" he whispers


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER 8

At the end of the evening, Gideon, escorts me to my hotel room, he runs his hand down my arm.

"Well goodnight Ana and thank you for a lovely evening, I had the best time with you" he says, there is an awkward pause before he leans down and softly kisses me on the cheek. I feel my body tense and before I realise what I am doing I wrap my arms around his neck and find his mouth and kiss him gently on the lips. His arms go around me and he pulls me towards him and he deepens the kiss. Suddenly he pulls away, "I...I'm sorry" he stutters.

"Don't be, it was my fault" I say feeling foolish and blushing.

"No, don't say that...I just...I have never done anything like this before and I don't want to fuck it up" I see that same look of vulnerability in his eyes and I smile at him.

"Don't worry, just go with the flow" I say

He touches my cheek with his fingers and kisses me again this time a small chaste kiss on the lips. "I'll see you in the morning Ana, it will be quite early, I have arranged a wake up call for you from reception so you are ready for when I come to fetch you" he says

I nod, "thank you, goodnight Gideon" I say

"Goodnight Ana" he replies and after adjusting himself, he turns and is gone.

I am awakened next morning and I glance at the clock, holy shit he wasn't kidding, its 4:30, I answer the phone and the bright voice informs me that this is my early morning wake up call, I mutter a word of thanks and stumble to the shower.

I am all ready to go when there is a soft knock on the door, I go and answer and there he is.

"Good morning Ana, Ready?" he asks

I smile at him "Yes I am even though its stupid o clock" I say

He throws his head back and laughs, "Don't worry you can sleep on my plane there is a bed on board you can use" he says, he picks up my case and leads me to the elevator.

I am settled on his plane, I look around me, I think of Christian, and wonder if this is anything like his GEH jet which I saw. Gideon settles himself beside me and touches my hand.

"Okay?" he asks uncertainly

I nod, its still very early and my brain has yet to achieve full function ability. "Its very nice" I say lamely gesturing around me, Gideon smiles.

"It's one of 6 I have, they are mainly used for my casino's, to pull in the high rollers, but they come in handy for me for business travel" I stare at him, one of six, he said that so easily as it if was the most normal thing in the world to own six planes. I am distracted by the sound of the plane taxiing down the runway, fear streaks through me I am not a huge fan of take off and landing, I grip the seat tightly.

Gideon sees my distress and reaches for my hand and holds it tightly in his, "There is nothing to worry about" he says gently running his thumb over my knuckles. As soon as we are in the air and free to move about I relax and Gideon lets go of my hand. He unbuckles his seatbelt and stands.

"Let me show you around" he says holding his hand out to me.

I follow him around the plane as he shows me the different areas, his office, a bathroom and finally a bedroom.

"Do you need to sleep?" he asks me when we reach the bedroom. I shake my head I am now wide awake and won't be able to go back to sleep now.

"Maybe later" I say and he nods at me.

"Would you like something to eat or drink?" he asks

"I'd love a cup of tea if you have it" I say, "English Breakfast Tea is my favourite, but I'm not fussy" I add.

Gideon smiles and walks into a small area with a coffee machine, kettle and a few cupboards, he opens one and there is a box of Twinings English breakfast tea.

"How do you have it?" he asks

"Weak and black, bag out" I say watching him with interest, I am still struggling to process the fact that one of the worlds richest men is standing here doing something as mundane as making a me a cup of tea. He boils a kettle and I watch as he pours the water into a mug. I take over and quickly dunk my teabag in and then out again.

"Does that even taste like tea?" he teases

I smile, "it's just how I like it" I say

"What else do you like Ana?" Gideon asks, his gorgeous blue eyes searching my face.

"In what context?" I ask

"Everything, what do you like to eat, drink, see, do, hobbies, interests, everything" he says.

I go and sit down and think, I have never really thought about it in great detail before.

"Erm... well I don't like coffee very much, I prefer tea, my favourite alcoholic drink is white wine, but I will drink beer as well, I like to eat healthily but my favourite junk food is pizza, I can cook and I like to experiment, I like cooking, but my biggest love is books, reading is my passion and I love the idea of finding new stories and authors.

"What books do you like Ana?" Gideon asks

I look at him carefully, "I love the English classics, but I will read anything as long as its well written and holds my attention, I will give anything a go once".

"What do you do for fun Ana?" Gideon asks me, "apart from read of course" he adds

I think carefully, "I love music" I say, my mind immediately returns to Christian and his love of music and I feel sad suddenly.

"What's wrong?" he asks obviously noting my sudden withdrawal.

I shake my head, "Nothing, it just reminded me of something...someone" I say.

"Grey?" Gideon asks

I look at him startled that he hit the nail on the head and I nod.

"Why?" he asks

I shake my head, "Christian always had music playing and he is a gifted piano player" I say. There is an awkward silence for a moment.

"You obviously love him, why on earth are you not with him?" Gideon asks

I sigh, "I can't tell you, I signed a NDA, Christian is obsessive about his privacy, but we were both just too different and wanted different things, I couldn't be what he wanted me to be" I say sadly.

Gideon looks at me and I see him stiffen, "Did he hurt you?" he asks suddenly

I think about the question, he did but I am not about to go there, I shake my head, "No" I answer in a tone which tells Gideon this subject is closed. "What about you Gideon, what do you like?" I ask trying to turn the conversation on to the man in front of me.

He stares at me for a moment "My work takes up most of my time, I like to work out, and I have a personal trainer but I also use one my gym's which is near to my office. I too love music, I don't really have too many interests as work takes up a lot of my time" he says sadly.

I look at him, and I see a man who is inherently alone and I wonder why.

We spend the flight in easy conversation, Gideon asks about Ray and my mother and I feel myself smiling as I talk about them.

"You are very close to your step father, why did you chose to live with him instead of your mother?" Gideon asks.

I shake my head, "I...I didn't get on with husband number 3" I say shortly, I don't want to even think about Stephen Morton, my mothers third husband, that is part of my life which I never want to revisit. Gideon frowns at my abrupt answer but thankfully takes the hint I don't want to talk about it.

I talk about Ray and how he taught me to shoot and how he gave me training in self defence which had come in so useful with Jack. I talk about my mother how much I love her even though she exasperates me at times with her hair brained schemes.

Soon we arrive in Seattle, I text Ray and Kate as soon as the plane has handed to let them know I am back. I see a car waiting at the foot of the plane for Gideon, He gestures for me to get in. I climb into the car and Gideon climbs in beside me.

"Where do you want to go Ana?" Gideon asks

"Erm..if you could drop me off at my apartment please, I'd be grateful" I ask

Gideon nods and I tell the driver where to go, as we pull up outside Gideon looks surprised at the apartment block.

"I live with Kate, her father bought her the apartment" I explain, Gideon nods in understanding. "Thank you for everything you have done for me Gideon" I say sincerely, I reach up and kiss his cheek, and as I do so he grabs me and kisses me fiercely on the lips, with an intensity I have never known, when he pulls away we are both gasping.

"Wow" I mutter and I see a smile appear on Gideon's lips

"I'd like to see you again Ana" Gideon says

I nod, "I'd like to see you again too" I reply. I decide to take the plunge, "I could cook you a meal if you want to?" I ask uncertainly.

"I would like that very much" Gideon replies smiling at me.

I rummage in my purse for a pen and a piece of paper and I write down my cell phone number and hand it to him, "If you get time while you are in Seattle give me a call" I say.

"Give me your phone" Gideon says holding out his hand.

I fish out my cell phone and hand it to Gideon, he stares at it, it is old and battered but it does what I want it to, I see him tapping on the keypad and then he hands it back to me.

"I have given you my cell phone, office and home phone numbers, if you call my office at any time you will be put through to my assistant Scott, I don't give out my personal numbers to many people so please don't pass them on".

I nod at him as I take back my phone, "I won't, thank you" I say quietly.

I climb out of the car and Gideon carries my box of work papers to my front door, as I open the door, I turn and take the box from him. "Thank you, you have been very kind to me" I say.

"You are more than welcome" he replies and once again runs his fingers down my cheek. "I'll let you get in, and I will call you later to arrange that meal you promised me" he adds with a wicked grin.

"Okay" I say and with that he turns and is gone, I watch him walk away, but he doesn't look back.


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

After a brief rest and tidy up I put on a load of laundry and I gather together all my notes and information and the box of papers and prepare to leave for the office. Kate had returned home from her vacation while I was in New York but there is no sign of her at the apartment, apart from a note to say we would catch up later, I leave her a return note to let her I know I have been home and head down to the garage to my car, as I pile in the box I hear a voice behind me.

"Ana" I turn sharply to be confronted by Christian, he holds up his hands, "I didn't mean to frighten you I just want to talk" he says, he looks miserable, I shake my head.

"We have nothing to say to each other Christian, please leave me alone" he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small ipod I stare at it as he offers it to me.

"I have put some songs on here for you to listen to, they will explain to you how I feel about you what I can't tell you, please take it" I put out my hand and he places the ipod in my palm and smiles at me.

"Thank you" I say, there is a silence and I add, "I need to go, I have to get to work" Christian nods at me and turns to leave, I feel my heart beating against my chest and stare at the ipod in my hand. I push it into my purse as I climb into my car and head for SIP.

I am sitting at my desk feeling pretty pleased with myself, I have had an excellent meeting with Roach about the exhibition and Elizabeth was there to talk about the Jack situation. Jack is still in New York, in custody, which I am surprised about but have a suspicion that may have something to do with Gideon. He has been fired, and the bit which astonished me the most I have temporarily been given his job, to care take for the time being until a replacement can be found. I was told that I am more than capable of doing the job and I have proved myself at the exhibition by acquiring more leads to potential authors in one day than Jack has done in the whole time he has been with the company and my notes on manuscripts has been noticed by the editors. As I contemplate what I am going to do for the rest of the day, after staring at a pile of manuscripts in my in tray my phone rings, I rummage in my purse for it and seeing Gideon's name on the screen I answer.

"Hello" I say.

"Ana, I am phoning about dinner tonight, I am sorry but something has come up and I have to return to New York" my heart sinks but it wasn't entirely unexpected to be honest I never really expected him to call me back at all.

"That's ok" I say brightly, "Another time, next time you are Seattle look me up" I add.

"Ana, I really am sorry, I wasn't anticipating this at all" he says earnestly.

"Hey Gideon, that's fine, you are a busy man you don't have to explain yourself to me, don't worry" I say.

"Ana you are a wonderful woman I will make this up to you" Gideon says and I realise by his tone that he means it, I don't want him to feel bad so I decide to shut it down.

"Gideon, its fine honestly, you have done more than enough already, its no big deal next time you are in Seattle you call me ok, now I have to get on with some work, have a safe flight and take care of yourself" I say

"I will, thank you Ana, I'll see you soon" he says and the line goes dead. I sigh. As I push my phone into my purse I see the Ipod and pull it out, I run my thumb over it and then push it back into my purse, until later.

When I return home the apartment is in darkness, I look around wondering where Kate is and as if she is answering my thoughts she texts me telling me she is at a bar in town with Elliot, i smile and text her back telling her we will catch up later. I grab myself some supper and sit down with a pile of manuscripts I brought home to work on, I pull out the ipod and stare at it, push the headphone buds into my ears and switch it on, I go through the songs and after a few moments I am in floods of tears after listening to some of his choices. I listen to The scientist by Coldplay and the words leave me breathless.

_Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry  
You don't know how lovely you are  
I had to find you, tell you I need you  
Tell you I'll set you apart_

Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions  
Oh let's go back to the start  
Running in circles, coming in tails  
Heads on a science apart

Nobody said it was easy  
It's such a shame for us to part  
Nobody said it was easy  
No one ever said it would be this hard  
Oh, take me back to the start.

I was just guessing at numbers and figures  
Pulling your puzzles apart  
Questions of science, science and progress  
Do not speak as loud as my heart

Tell me you love me, come back and haunt me  
Oh and I rush to the start  
Running in circles, chasing our tails  
Coming back as we are

Nobody said it was easy  
Oh it's such a shame for us to part  
Nobody said it was easy  
No one ever said it would be so hard  
I'm going back to the start

I put down the manuscripts and concentrate on the ipod I want to listen to some more of the songs he has put on here for me, I think of his words from earlier..., "they will explain to you how I feel about you, what I can't tell you", I swallow hard and pick another song at random. I gasp again as I listen to it, I have to replay it several times before I believe what I am hearing, Its a Bon Jovi song I know well but listening to it from Christian's point of view makes it so poignant.

_This world don't give you nothing it can't take away  
Everybody holding on to something  
Nobody wants to fade away_

_No forgiveness on the streets of this town  
I left my patience at a traffic light  
There's no denying that I almost lost it  
Threw in the towel, too tired to fight_

_Tonight I need you  
More than yesterday  
Tonight I need you_

_Take me, touch me, hold me like you mean it  
Make me come alive  
Hurt me, heal me, come and make me feel it  
Rescue me tonight  
Love me back to life_

_These days I'd trade sight for feeling  
There are days my feeling's gone  
Can't figure out whose life I'm living  
I don't know right from wrong_

_When I lost my faith  
You found it and gave it back to me  
There's a new light on your halo; it took blind eyes to see_

_That I need you  
More than yesterday  
Yeah, I need you_

_Take me, touch me, hold me like you mean it  
Make me come alive  
Hurt me, heal me, come and make me feel it  
Rescue me tonight  
Love me back to life_

_Take me, touch me, hold me like you mean it  
Make me come alive  
Hurt me, heal me, come and make me feel it  
Rescue me_

_Take me, touch me, hold me like you mean it  
Make me come alive  
Hurt me, heal me, come and make me feel it  
Rescue me tonight  
Love me back to life  
Love me back to life  
Love me back to life  
Love me back to life _

I stare at the Ipod in my hand, am I reading this right, he wants me to touch him? I select another song wondering what I am going to hear next. I am surprised when I hear an old John Denver song...Annies Song, I swallow hard, only Ray calls me Annie I listen to the words

_You fill up my senses like a night in the forest,  
like the mountains in springtime, like a walk in the rain,  
like a storm in the desert, like a sleepy blue ocean.  
You fill up my senses, come fill me again.  
_

_Come let me love you, let me give my life to you,  
let me drown in your laughter, let me die in your arms,  
let me lay down beside you, let me always be with you.  
Come let me love you, come love me again.  
_

_You fill up my senses like a night in the forest,  
like the mountains in springtime, like a walk in the rain,  
like a storm in the desert, like a sleepy blue ocean.  
You fill up my senses, come fill me again. _

By now I am shocked speechless. Does this mean he loves me? I greedily search again and pick another tune, this time its a Guns N' Roses song and again I listen carefully to the words.

_Shed a tear 'cause I'm missin' you  
I'm still alright to smile  
Girl, I think about you every day now  
Was a time when I wasn't sure  
But you set my mind at ease  
There is no doubt  
You're in my heart now  
_

_Said, woman, take it slow  
It'll work itself out fine  
All we need is just a little patience  
Said, sugar, make it slow  
And we come together fine  
All we need is just a little patience  
(patience)  
Mm, yeah  
_

_I sit here on the stairs  
'Cause I'd rather be alone  
If I can't have you right now  
I'll wait, dear  
Sometimes I get so tense  
But I can't speed up the time  
But you know, love  
There's one more thing to consider  
_

_Said, woman, take it slow  
And things will be just fine  
You and I'll just use a little patience  
Said, sugar, take the time  
'Cause the lights are shining bright  
You and I've got what it takes  
To make it, We won't fake it,  
I'll never break it  
'cause I can't take it  
_

_...little patience, mm yeah, mm yeah  
need a little patience, yeah  
just a little patience, yeah  
some more patience, yeah  
need some patience, yeah  
could use some patience, yeah  
gotta have some patience, yeah  
all it takes is patience,  
just a little patience  
is all you need *  
_

_I BEEN WALKIN' THE STREETS AT NIGHT  
JUST TRYIN' TO GET IT RIGHT  
HARD TO SEE WITH SO MANY AROUND  
YOU KNOW I DON'T LIKE  
BEING STUCK IN THE CROWD  
AND THE STREETS DON'T CHANGE  
BUT BABY THE NAME  
I AIN'T GOT TIME FOR THE GAME  
'CAUSE I NEED YOU  
YEAH, YEAH, BUT I NEED YOU  
OO, I NEED YOU  
WHOA, I NEED YOU  
OO, ALL THIS TIME _

I can't take any more, I throw down the ipod, tears are streaming down my cheeks and I grab my car keys, I don't call Christian but I call Taylor, I wait and when he eventually answers I ask one question.

"Hi Taylor. Where's Christian?" I say calmly

"Miss Steele! He's at Grey House, Why?" Taylor answers

I think for a moment, that Grey House would be the best place to see him, "Listen Taylor" I say urgently, "Please don't say anything to him, but keep him at Grey House I am heading there now to speak to him, can you arrange for me to get in to him?" I ask

There is a short silence, and then he replies "Yes I can do that"

"Thank you" I reply and as I jump into the car I kill the call.

About 10 minutes later I am sitting outside Grey House, I gather my thoughts and take a deep breath, as I approach the doors, I see Taylor running towards them, He unlocks them and lets me in, He escorts me upstairs to Christian's office and points to the door, I pray to god I don't fall into his office like the last time I was here, and Taylor slips away into his own office. I open the door and I see Christian with his head in his hands sitting at his desk, he hears the door and lifts his head up, I see the shock registering on his face as he sees me and he immediately jumps to his feet and rounds the desk striding towards me.

"Ana, what's wrong, are you alright?" he asks

"I...I ...the music, I was ...did you, Oh Christian" I burst into tears and I feel Christian take me in his arms and hold me tightly to him. He leads me over to a large sofa and urges me to sit down on it, taking my hands in his, he sits beside me and looks hopefully into my face.

**Songs****: **

**Bon Jovi – Love me Back to Life**

**John Denver – Annie's Song**

**Guns N' Roses - Patience**


	10. Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10

I take a deep breath I need to get this right and I don't want to mess it up, I look straight into Christian's face, I see the hope shining in his eyes and my heart melts.

"Did I hear those songs right?" I ask

"What did you hear?" Christian replies quietly

I swallow hard and shuffle in my seat, "that you miss me, that you want me, that you...love me?" I say hesitantly.

A smile of relief crosses his face and he pulls me to him, "Yes, Yes and oh god yes" he says and he plants a small kiss on my forehead. I push away from him.

"There was another message I got, but I'm really not sure about it" I say, I watch Christian's face fall and he raises his eyebrows in question.

"The Bon Jovi song...do you...do you want me to touch you?" I whisper

A small smile reappears on Christian's face, and he nods, "I'm afraid, I know it will hurt but yes I do, I believe your touch can heal me and make me whole, I crave your touch" he says.

I stare at him, completely speechless, I am totally at a loss, Christian takes the lead, empowered by his admissions and he pulls me on to his lap and wraps his arms around me and begins to speak.

"Ana, I want you more than I have ever wanted anything in my life before, I believe that I love you and have done since the moment I laid eyes on you. I don't want you as my sub, I want you as my girlfriend, since you left I have been lost in the darkness and I don't want that I want you, you bring light and joy into my life which I have never known before - I want that life, I want...more".

More, this brings us right back to where we were at dinner the other night, I look up at him, "Christian, if you want a relationship we have to be totally honest with each other, we can't build a relationship on secrets, we have to tell each other everything.

I see fear appear in his eyes and he stiffens, I touch his face, "Please Christian" I coax.

"But you will leave me if I tell you the truth about me" he mutters.

I smile at him, "Christian if you don't I won't start a relationship with you, so what do you have to lose?" I say, "I have some pretty ugly things in my past which I have never told anyone about and I am prepared to share them with you so you understand about me, please do me the same courtesy".

I see the fear evolve into resolve, "ok" he says suddenly and stands up, he holds out his hand to me, "I will tell you, but first you need to see something" I grasp his hand and stand up, he reaches for his phone with his free hand, and calls Taylor.

"Taylor I am ready to leave for Escala, Miss Steele will be with me" he says without taking his eyes from me.

"Christian, my car is here" I say, and Taylor must be saying something along the same lines, as Christian thinks for a moment and then speaks again.

"I will drive myself, Taylor, you drive Miss Steele's car to Escala". He pushes his phone into his pocket and leads me from his office, pulling me protectively to his side.

The car ride to Escala is silent and the closer we get I see Christian getting more and more tense, I know this is hard for him, but we need this clean slate if we are to stand any chance of being a couple. When we arrive Christian leads me straight upstairs to the playroom, I look at him in shock when I realise where we are going.

"You need to see this" he says as he unlocks the door, as he opens the door I gasp the room has been dismantled and stripped bare of all the BDSM paraphernalia, my mouth drops open and I look at him questioningly.

" I don't understand, you need this?" I say

Christian turns to face me and grabs my shoulders, "Ana, I need you more than I ever needed this", he waves his hand dismissively around the room, "I can't do those things with you, and I don't want to, the thought of hurting you in any way appals me". He stops searching my face for my reaction.

"Did you get rid of everything?" I ask

He nods, "Shame, I kind of liked those ball things" I say blushing, a smile crosses Christian's face.

"So you like a little kinky fuckery?" he asks

My mouth drops open and I giggle, "I do like the kinky fuckery, its just the rules and punishments and hitting I don't like" I say.

Christian nods, "Ok, no rules, no punishments and no hitting, we will rebuild our playroom with things we both want and like, ok?" he says. I nod and his answering smile is devastating.

He leads me back downstairs to the great room, I look around, nothing has changed here, and I sit down on the sofa, Christian goes and pours himself and me a glass of wine and walks over to me and sits beside me his smile has gone replaced by a grim expression and fear in his eyes, this is it he is going to tell me.

"Thank you" I say as I accept the wine and take a sip, I frown as I have a nasty metallic taste in my mouth and I put the glass down. I decide I will not say another word and let him tell me in his own way in his own time, and then I will tell him about my past.

Christian sets down his glass and grips my hand tightly and closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.

"Ok here goes" he says, I move a little closer to offer him some comfort.

"Take your time, there's no rush" I say gently.

Christian nods and begins to speak. "I was born in Detroit, and my mother was a crack whore, she sold her body for drugs, her pimp ...abused me, he would punch me and kick me and the scars on my chest and back, well that was because he used me as an ashtray. My mother never protected me from him, I tried to hide, I screamed for her to help me at times but she never did" he stops I am appalled and tears are pouring down my cheeks, I don't move scared if I do he will stop talking, he still has his eyes shut tight as he speaks of things no child should ever witness or endure.

"She overdosed, and died, she was dead on the floor, she was cold, I didn't understand, I tried to wake her but she was cold, so cold, I covered her up with a blanket and lay down beside her. I was so hungry, and thirsty there was no food in the apartment and how I survived I don't know. He came back four days later and discovered us, I hid, he realised she was dead, and he wasn't happy and he looked for me, he found me and hit me a few times, then he left, he left and left me there locked in with my dead mother. Then the police came and I was taken to the hospital, Grace was the doctor on call that evening, and she took care of me, she was so kind and patient, so gentle I thought she was an angel, anyway she and Carrick saved me, they adopted me and we moved to Seattle". He stops and his face darkens and the fear comes off of him in waves, realise we are approaching the part where he think I will leave him.

"From the start I had I had a fear of being touched, Grace and Carrick respected my boundaries and did their best, as I grew up I became an angry young man, I was confused, I felt unworthy of this perfect family I was in and I wanted some sort of physical contact but I couldn't bare to be touched, when I hit puberty I was a walking hard on, I started brawling just to get some sort of contact with people, that was when Grace sent me to Elena to help her out with some yard work, they had discovered I had started drinking and they were at their wits end with me, so I went during the school holiday and that was where she seduced me and then introduced me to the BDSM lifestyle, she sorted my shit out, gave me an outlet for my anger and a way to receive human contact that I found acceptable and she taught me to fuck" he stops looking at me uncertainly, I feel sick.

"How old were you when it started?" I ask

"Fifteen" he replies, my mouth drops open, fifteen years old he was a minor and she took advantage of him. She is nothing but a dirty paedophile. I keep my thoughts to myself as he prepares to continue to speak.

"Elena made me sub for her, she didn't put up with my no touching, Christ some of the things she did to me, I'll spare you the details, anyway over time I became a dom she trained me, and I had a certain type of girl I went for, petite brown haired girls, because...because..." he stops and stares at me, this is it this is what he is afraid of telling me, I squeeze his hand encouragingly and eventually he continues barely whispering the words, "because they resembled my memory of my mother and I whipped them because I couldn't punish her for not protecting me, caring for me and...loving me" he stops. I am shocked into silence I process what he has just told me, I don't blame him though and I know right now I am not going to leave him, I blame Elena she abused a troubled damaged boy and fucked him up even more. I feel nothing but hatred and anger for her and nothing but compassion and love for Christian. I pull out of his hold and stand, and he gasps.

"No...no, please...don't go, please, don't leave me" he begs and he falls to his knees in front of me, its pitiful to see such a strong powerful man in such a state, I fall to my knees in front of him and wrap my arms around his neck.

"Christian look at me" I say firmly, he looks up at me his eyes clouded with fear. "Listen to me Christian, I'm not leaving you, do you understand me, I am not leaving you" i pull him towards me and his arms go around me and hold me so tightly I can barely breathe.

"You're really staying?" he whispers

I nod, "yes, you are not to blame for any of this, you were a small boy who was severely damaged by circumstances beyond your control, then that woman took advantage of you and fucked you up even more" I feel him stiffen.

"She helped me" he says firmly

I look at him, "No she didn't Christian she made things worse" I reply.

I can see he won't accept this and I don't want to push him too far, the fact he has opened up and told me all this has floored me, I stroke his face.

"Christian, you are safe now, I am not leaving you, thank you for telling me" I say. I see all the fear and tension leave him and he smiles widely at me. "Erm..can we get up off the floor now?" I ask trying to add a little humour and lightness to the situation.

Christian gracefully stands and helps me to my feet and leads me back over to the sofa, and looks at me carefully, "Quid pro quo Ana" he says, I nod at him and prepare to tell him my darkest secret.


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11

Christian takes my hand and looks intently at me, its my turn to feel fear now, but I said i would do it, I promised him if he told me I would tell him, I suddenly feel a wave of nausea envelope me, I take a deep breath to calm myself, I have been feeling a little off all day and I begin to wonder if I am coming down with something, I bring my thoughts back under control and return the matter in hand.

I don't close my eyes but look him straight in the face as I begin to talk. "What I have been through is nothing compared to your early life experiences, but it had a profound effect on me. You remember you asked me about why I left Texas and went to live with Ray instead of staying with my mother?" I begin, and Christian nods but doesn't say a word. "Well there was more to it than the fact husband number 3 and I didn't get along, much more" I stop and I feel Christian's grip get tighter on my hand. I swallow instinctively and begin to tell my story. "He was nice to begin with, he turned my moms head and promised her things and it all sounded so exciting and of course my mom fell for it, she left Ray and took up with Stephen. When he wanted to move to Texas she agreed, and that's when things started to unravel, he wasn't pleased that I was tagging along, he thought I would stay with Ray, but my mom insisted. He started making comments that I was fat and ugly and nobody would want me, he verbally abused me at any opportunity and he tried to dominate me he started to push me around, treating me like a slave when I stood up to him he hit me, he sent me flying across the room and he kicked me in the ribs. A couple of hours later he came to me and apologised said he hadn't meant to do it but I had provoked him, and we should keep it between us. I agreed as I didn't want to worry my mom, but after that things got worse, he lost his job, and started drinking heavily, one day my mom was at work and it was just us in the house, he came to my room where I was doing my homework, he was drunk and he ...touched me, he tried to put his hand down my top I pushed him away and he hit me, he grabbed me by the hair and pushed me on the bed and he tried to rape me, he got as far as ripping off my panties and unzipping his trousers but thankfully my mom came home and he stopped I bought a lock for my bedroom door. Anyway this carried on for about another 2-3 weeks he'd try it on when my mom was at work, but I always managed to get away, by more luck than judgement and that is the reason I was a virgin when you met me I didn't want a physical relationship with any man...until I met you, anyway, in the end he managed to get hold of me but then he changed his mind, he said he wouldn't fuck me as I was too ugly and fat and he couldn't get it up to fuck me as I was so repulsive, and instead he held me down and made me suck him off, he was the first man I ever saw come, when he came in my mouth" I stop as I see Christian frowning. I realise I know why, so I continue, "I know I said I had never given oral sex before when you asked me, that's because in my mind I didn't do it willingly and besides I didn't do anything he basically fucked my mouth. I knew I had to get away, I called Ray and told him about the violence but not the sexual abuse, because I knew he would be on the first plane out with his gun and kill him, and I need ed Ray. So he called my mom and laid into her about what I had said and my mom came to me and I admitted what had happened, she cried, and gave me all the money she had to send me back to Ray, I left that night, Ray had booked me a ticket and he was waiting for me when the plane landed" I pause and see rage coming off of Christian in waves, so I continue, "You are the first person I have ever told about the sexual abuse that was done to me, nobody else knows, not my mom, not Ray, nobody and I want to keep it that way". I stop and Christian nods at me, then he pulls me into his arms and holds me tightly.

"Do you know where he is now?" he asks

I shake my head, but I am guessing Christian will know by morning where Stephen Morton is. I look up into Christians face, "Please don't do anything its ancient history and will upset a lot of people, just leave it, promise me" I say.

He stares at me not saying or doing anything then suddenly he nods once, "alright" he says tightly, I let go of the breath I didn't realise I was holding and snuggle closer to him.

"Stay with me" Christian says suddenly, I move and look up at him, "Stay the night with me" he says.

I shake my head, "I can't, I have a pile of manuscripts at home I have to read tonight and make notes on" I say sadly. Christian frowns questioningly at me.

"Jack has been fired and they have given me his job to babysit until they can find someone else, apparently I have proved myself and Roach thinks I am up to it, so I don't want to let him down". I explain. I watch for Christian's reaction, I need to know if he will tell me voluntarily that he has bought SIP.

"I see" he says and then smiles "well congratulations baby, I'm sure you will do well" he doesn't say any more.

"So I have to go" I say and stand up, and feel a little dizzy I grasp Christians arm. As my head clears Christian stands with me and pulls me to him.

"Are you alright Ana?" he asks

I nod, thats the second time today I have had a dizzy bout but I don't say anything. Christian looks at me and smile "Ok, I will see you tomorrow then" he says.

"Ok" I agree and he holds me close and kisses me soundly. As he walks me to my car, my phone rings, and I rummage to answer it, I smile as I see Gideon's name on the screen.

"Hi Gideon" I say as I answer, I feel Christian tighten his grip on me.

"Ana how are you?" he asks

"I'm good, how are you, are you back in New York?" I ask

"Good, I'm fine and yes I am back in New York, unfortunately. Ana, you should receive a package tomorrow at SIP it will be from me, I just wanted to let you know it was coming, also I will be back in Seattle early next week and I would like to take you up on your dinner invitation if I may?" he says

"Ok, thanks for letting me know and yes I would love to, I'll invite Christian and you two can talk business, does that sound good to you?" I ask

"Why would you invite Christian Grey?" Gideon asks

I feel a cold shiver run through me at the tone of his voice, "Erm...because we have talked things through and we are going to try and make a go of having a relationship" I say nervously.

"I see, so the moment I leave Seattle you are back in his arms?" he says coldly.

I feel anger rising, "Hey listen here buddy, just because I am with Christian doesn't mean we can't be friends, and I will tell Christian the same thing, if either of you have a problem with that then you should both grow up, I am not a possession, do you understand me?!", I snap, I am staring at Christian as I say these words so he knows I mean him as well.

"Yes, I'm sorry Ana" Gideon says eventually.

"Ok then" I say, "let me know when you are in Seattle and we can arrange something" I add firmly.

"I will, Goodnight Ana" and with that he is gone, I push my phone into my purse and look up at Christian who is glaring at me.

"What?" I snap.

"if you think you are going out with Gideon Cross you have another think coming, you are mine" Christian says.

My eyebrows raise, and put my hands on my hips "Firstly I am not going out with Gideon, I invited him to my apartment to cook for him, secondly I am not _yours_, as I just explained to Gideon, I belong to nobody, I am not a possession, Gideon is my friend, you are my boyfriend, or at least I am assuming you are after what has happened tonight, so you need to get over it, I have male friends, and you do not have the right to stop me from seeing them, understand?" I wait for Christian's response.

"No I won't allow it" Christian says through gritted teeth.

"You won't allow it, well here's a newsflash for you, I won't allow it, I will see my friends whenever I wish, I don't say anything about that damn woman you consider as a friend, but is nothing more than a dirty Paedophile" and with that I turn and climb into my car and leave, as I pull out of Escala car park I look in my rear view mirror and see Christian standing there his fists clenched and his mouth hanging open. I shake my head, my guess is he has never had anyone tell him no before and he doesn't know what to do.


	12. Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12

The next morning I wake up and once again feel a little dizzy and I also feel a little nauseous it soon passes and I head off to work. Later on that day just as Gideon predicted a package arrives at SIP addressed to me, I open it and gasp as I see a box containing a top of the range latest Iphone, I pick up the enclosed card.

_Ana_

_Please accept this phone, I have programmed in my home, office and cell phone numbers. I expect you to take full advantage of those numbers._

_I look forward to seeing you again soon._

_Gideon x_

I read and re-read it, I find the paperwork inside the box and discover that the first year of the contract has been paid. I pickup the phone and look at it suspiciously, Kate has one of these and has always raved about it. I will admit I have coveted them, but could not justify the cost when I had a phone that worked perfectly well for what I needed. I switch it on and make my first call, not to Christian, but to Gideon, I call his cell phone and he answers almost immediately.

"Ana" he says

"Hi, erm...I have received the phone, thank you, but I can't ..." I am stopped in mid sentence by Gideon who cuts me off.

"No, you can accept it, you will accept it, it has no strings, it is simply a gift from one friend to another, enjoy it" he says firmly.

"Ok thank you" I say, I'm not sure why I so willingly accepted this when I fought against everything Christian did. "How are you? Are you alright?" I ask nervously, before he can answer I continue, "I really would like to remain friends with you Gideon, you are a good man" I say

"Thank you Ana, and I would like to remain friends with you as well, tell me is Christian ok with our friendship, I got the distinct impression from him in New York that maybe he wouldn't be too happy about it?" he asks

There is a silence as I pick my words carefully, "He will have to be alright with it, I told him the same as I told you, I am not a possession" I say.

I hear a small chuckle, "You are a remarkable woman Ana," Gideon says.

"Well thank you" I say sarcastically. "Look I'll let you go" I add realising he must be busy, "thank you once again for the phone, see you soon" I say.

"You are more than welcome" he says, "Goodbye for now Ana, I'll call you when I land in Seattle" he adds before he kills the call. I transfer all my numbers from my old phone into my new one and send a quick group text to everyone letting them know my new number. Almost immediately I receive a call from Christian.

"Why do you have a new phone number?" he asks

"Because I have a new phone" I say immediately on alert at the accusatory tone.

"I see" he says

"Is that all?" I ask

I hear a sigh, "I'm sorry Ana ...for last night I behaved badly, I just I get so jealous and I don't want to lose you" he says

I take a deep breath, "Christian the only way you are going to lose me is by behaving like you did last night" I say and immediately regret the harshness of my tone. "But I accept your apology" I add trying to lighten the atmosphere between us.

"Can I see you tonight?" Christian asks

"Of course you can, why don't you come over and I'll cook you something" I say

"I'd love to, what time?" he replies

"Say 7ish?" I offer

"See you then" he says and with that we say our goodbyes and I kill the call.

At 6:50 the buzzer of the intercom sounds and I answer to hear Christian announcing his arrival, I buzz him up and moments later he is standing in my doorway holding a bottle of wine. I smile shyly at him and he hands me the bottle and kisses me softly on my cheek. I gesture to the sofa and he sits down, looking around. I excuse myself and wander into the kitchen to finish preparing our meal when I hear Christian behind me.

"What the fuck is this?" he says

I turn to see him holding the card which Gideon sent me with the phone. I am immediately pissed, I had left it so I could show it to Christian and explain it, but he had gone rummaging into the phone box and found it for himself.

"It's a card" I say facetiously, as he goes to retort back at me I raise my hand to stop him. "It is a card which was in a closed box, which does not belong to you, it is a card which I was going to show you later when I told you that my new phone was a gift from Gideon, but as you have been snooping in my private things and finding out information for yourself without my consent - again, now you know". I glare at him and he has the grace to look uncomfortable, but his anger soon overrides that.

"I don't like this" he growls

"Tough shit" I retort rudely, "Gideon is my friend, he bought me a new phone, and sent it to me, end of story, that is the card he enclosed with it, letting me know he has put his numbers into the phone, that's all, get over it and stop acting like a Neanderthal". I step forward and snatch the card from his hand, and march past him into the living room.

"Have you made use of the numbers he gave you?" Christian spits at me.

"Yes I have" I almost shout back at him, I feel tears welling up in my eyes but I force myself not to cry, "I called him today using the cell phone he bought me to call his cell phone number to let him know it had arrived, to thank him and tell him I couldn't accept it, he insisted that it was just a gift from one friend to another with no strings attached and that I had no reason not to accept it, then he told me he would call me when he flies out to Seattle, I said ok and then I hung up, ok satisfied?" I stop I am breathing heavily. "Christian you have to stop being so jealous, you are driving me away with your insane jealousy, I can't stand it" I say a little more calmly trying for civility.

Christian stands with his arms folded, "I don't like it, he wants you" he mutters petulantly

I shake my head, "Just stop" I say and turn and leave him standing there I need to get away from him as I go into the kitchen I wonder if I have done the right thing, he has such deep engrained issues which I know are not his fault but can I really be what he needs, I am exhausted and he has only been here five minutes. The now familiar wave of nausea washes over me again, what the hell is wrong with me? I hear voices in the other room and as I walk in I see Kate and Elliot talking to Christian, Elliot has his hand on Christians arm and he is talking to him, and Kate is glaring at him, much like I was earlier.

"Hi guys!" I call cheerily as I walk in, Kate smiles at me and Elliot turns giving me a huge grin and strides towards me enveloping me with his strong arms and spinning me around.

"Hi Ana, how are you?" he asks

I am laughing and slapping him, "Put me down you big goon" I say

As soon as Elliot lets me go Christian pulls me to his side and glares at his brother, "don't you let me ever see you do that again" Christian growls at him.

I yank my arm free, "Jeez Christian, get a grip, just stop it or leave now" I say "I've had enough of your childish behaviour, I walk to Elliot and place my hand on his arm, "this is your brother" I walk over to Kate, "this is my best friend and guess what, she is your brothers girlfriend, so think carefully does that mean a) he loves her b) he is only being friendly towards me c) he not trying to piss you off or d) all of the above". I see Elliot's mouth drop open and Kate turns away trying to hide her smile. Christian just stares sulkily at me and says nothing, which makes me even angrier.

"Look just go" I say pointing at the door.

"Ana please" Christian begins

"No, I've had it, you are severely pissing me off with your irrational behaviour, just go!" I walk to the door and hold it open, Christian takes a look at Elliot and turns and leaves without a word. I slam the door behind him and throw myself on to the sofa and let out a harsh sigh.

"He really loves you Ana, I've never seen him like this before" Elliot says quietly

I look up, "Well he has a funny way of showing it" I snap. I pull myself together and in a softer voice I ask if Elliot and Kate are staying for something to eat, now I have sent Christian packing there will be too much for me, they both agree to stay for a while and eat with me.


	13. Chapter 13

CHAPTER 13

I don't hear from Christian again for the rest of the week, I know he is sulking and I leave him to it, I don't have time for his behaviour, I have more concerning things on my mind, for the past few days I have been feeling distinctly unwell, dizzy, and feeling sick in the mornings and at odd times during the day, this morning I was actually sick for the first time, I try and remain calm but my mind is jumping to all sorts of conclusions and none of them good, the main one being that I am pregnant, I was on the pill and Christian always used condoms at other times, and I haven't been with anyone else, but I need to be sure and rule out the most obvious cause first, so here I am first thing Saturday morning heading to the pharmacy and buy 5 different pregnancy tests. I lock myself in the bathroom at home and use them laying them out on a piece of toilet paper. The wait is excruciating, eventually the allotted time passes and I gingerly glance at the tests, I feel my legs turn to jelly as I look at them, positive all five of them, holy shit, I lose my grip on the sink and as my legs give way I slide to the floor and cry, and that is where Kate finds me a couple of minutes later.

"Ana open the door, what's wrong, I can hear you crying" I hear Kate knocking and I open the door and she stares at me, and then at the tests lined up on the sink, her eyes widen and her mouth drops open in shock.

"Oh my god Ana, you're pregnant" she gasps, I start crying again and she pulls me into a hug.

"Is it Christian's?" she asks, I nod against her shoulder and she holds me tighter. This is the last thing I need, I have just found my dream job, I am doing well establishing a career and I dread to think what Christian's reaction will be. I don't even know if we are still a couple, plus the fact I am nowhere near ready to be a mother. As Kate consoles me there is a knock at the door, I look at Kate, and she shrugs, she lets go of me and goes to answer it, I follow her and nearly fall over again when she opens the door and Gideon is standing there, he takes one look at my dishevelled state with my puffy eyes from crying and he heads straight for me.

"What did he do to you?" he growls

I burst into tears again and he wraps his arms around me holding me tightly.

"How did you get up here?" Kate asks

Gideon turns, "You must be Kate" he says as he holds out his hand to her, "I'm Gideon Cross Ana's friend from New York, one of your neighbours was on their way out and I caught the door downstairs before it closed, I have come straight from the airport, I wanted to surprise Ana" he says. Kate shakes his hand and smiles at him and Gideon returns his attention back to me and strokes my hair gently, Just then the door goes again and Kate answers it and its Christian who immediately goes on the alert when he sees Gideon. Kate looks at me waiting for some indication of what I want her to do.

I quickly assess the situation and look at Kate, pulling myself together, "Kate could you take Gideon into the kitchen and make him a drink, he has only just arrived in Seattle and come straight from the airport, he must be thirsty and probably hungry as well" I look up at Gideon pleading with my eyes for him to follow Kate, he nods and before he releases me he whispers in my ear.

"If you need me shout" he says.

"Thank you" I reply, he kisses my forehead and I hear a growl come from Christian. I push Gideon away and I turn to Christian, "Before you over react, I didn't know he was coming he just turned up moments before you did, but I'm glad you are here we need to talk" I say trying to sound braver than I actually feel.

Christian nods but says nothing, but he is looking at me with concern, I wonder how I am going to break this to him, in the end I decide to just show him, I grasp his hand and lead him into the bathroom, I point to the five pregnancy tests on the sink, he looks at them and all colour drains from his face.

"You're pregnant?!" he gasps eventually

I nod, wondering what he will say next. "Whose is it?" he spits

I stare at him incredulously, "You are the only man I have ever slept with Christian" I say defensively

He snorts at me, and starts to pace the room running his hands through his hair, "FUCK ANA YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THAT WHEN HE IS IN THE SAME ROOM AS YOU WHEN I ARRIVE" he bellows

"It's true" I say tears starting to fall again, "Please Christian" I beg, I touch his arm

"GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF ME, SHIT, ARE YOU SERIOUS WHAT THE FUCK..." he doesn't get any further as the door flies open and Gideon steps inside he sees the tests and takes in the situation quickly.

"Are you ok Ana?" he asks gently

I shake my head, "No, I'm not ok, I have just discovered I am pregnant and the father of my baby is doubting it is even his, when he is the only person I have ever slept with" I am almost hysterical.

Gideon looks at Christian in disgust as he snorts derisively at me, "She's telling you the truth Grey, I haven't slept with her, if that is what you are thinking, she looks on me only as a friend" he snaps, he moves closer to me and wraps a protective arm around my shoulder, whilst still glaring at Christian.

Christian is still pacing and grabbing at his hair, "OH FUCK THIS!" he shouts suddenly and turns and walks out slamming the door, I fall to the ground sobbing, the next thing I know I am being lifted and Gideon carries me to the sofa, and sits beside me holding me close and rocking me gently.

When I am little calmer I turn to Gideon, "I'm sorry you got involved in this mess" I say quietly.

"Not at all it's a good job I am here, the way he behaved" Gideon says harshly

"He's scared, he always behaves like this when he's scared" I say.

"And what about you? Don't defend him Ana, you are 21 years old just finished college and you discover you are pregnant, I'm pretty sure that was not on your to do list, and I'm guessing you are scared, you are not behaving like an adolescent" Gideon huffs

"I'm bloody terrified" I whisper

Gideon holds me tighter, "What do you plan to do? Have you thought that far?" he asks

I shake my head, "I found out a few minutes before you arrived, I am still in shock" I say, I look up and see Kate standing at the door looking guilty.

"What is it?" I ask

"Ana don't be mad at me, but I couldn't stand by and do nothing, I heard everything, I called Elliot and he has gone looking for Christian...and...and I have called Grace, she is on her way over, I told them everything I heard" Kate says

I groan this is the last thing I need, I look up at Gideon, "Grace is Christians mother, she is a doctor" I explain.

"Good" he replies, "tell her what an asshole her son is being" he spits.

About 20 minutes later the intercom buzzes, Kate answers and moments later Grace is in the room holding me tightly in her arms.

"Ana darling don't cry, this must be so distressing for you but don't get yourself upset" Grace says kindly.

"That's easy for you to say, you didn't see the way your son treated her when she told him, he accused her of sleeping with me and he doesn't believe the child is his, he swore and shouted at her and then stormed out" Gideon says bluntly.

"Gideon please" I whisper, "Its not Grace's fault" I add

"No Ana he's right" Grace sighs, "Christian is scared and when he gets scared he lashes out, but he shouldn't have behaved like that we didn't raise him to behave like that and I don't condone it"

Grace sits and her calming gentle personality makes me feel better and I start to see things clearly, the panic starts to recede and common sense and rational thought begin to take over.

"I won't get rid of it" I say to nobody in particular, I wrap my arm protectively around my stomach, "its not the baby's fault, if Christian doesn't want to be involved then I'll do it alone" I say firmly.

"You won't be alone sweetheart" Grace says kindly, Kate sits down beside me looking at her phone.

"You have me too" Kate says and pats my hand. Gideon pulls me closer to him but remains silent.

"Elliot has found Christian" Kate says suddenly, "He was talking to someone in a cafe near the Bravern Centre, Elliot says he's with Elena Lincoln" I feel pain like a knife shoot through me at the mention of that woman, Gideon notices I have stiffened and that am clearly distressed.

Eventually Grace leaves after giving me the name of a doctor at the hospital who will see me, and I am not to worry about the cost of the consultation. Dr Green is the name on the piece of paper, and Grace tells me if I need anything I am to call her immediately. I thank her and hug her before she goes, she smiles at Gideon and shakes his hand. Kate has gone to meet Elliot and I am alone with Gideon.

"Nice lady" he says

"Who? Grace?" I ask

Gideon nods, "why did you get upset when Kate said Grey was with that woman?" he asks

"She's a friend of his and I just don't like her" I say, I smile at what I have just said and the irony of it after my reaction to Christian's jealous outburst. I look up at Gideon, "please don't ask me any more about her, because I can't".

Gideon nods, I feel safe in his arms, he is holding me and gently stroking my hair. "Ana, you know I will be there for you as well" he says

"Thank you, you're a good friend" I say and pat his knee.

We sit in a comfortable silence which is broken when Gideon suddenly speaks.

"Ana" he says

"Hmm" I respond

"Come with me back to New York" he says

I turn and gape at him not sure I have heard him right, "You want me to uproot and move to New York?" I ask

"Yes I do" He says emphatically.


	14. Chapter 14

CHAPTER 14

I stare incredulously at Gideon not quite believing what I am hearing. He stares back earnestly at me, those blue eyes boring into mine, then he grabs my hand and holding it tightly he begins to speak.

"Ana, I make no lie of the fact I want to be more than friends with you, and I have the resources to take care of you and the baby, I have looked into what you do at SIP and they speak very highly of you, you are a highly intelligent woman and I could offer you something comparable if not better at Cross Publishing, I have two fiction editors coming up for retirement in the next six months, you think SIP is your dream job, I guarantee that if you took a position at Cross Publishing you would never think of SIP again, I can offer you opportunities to progress beyond your wildest dreams and I will support you in your ambitions". He stops and runs his fingers down my cheek. "I can't get you out of my mind Ana, you are constantly in my thoughts, I need you in my life" he says.

I pull my hand out of his grip and sigh "Gideon my friends and my father all live on the West Coast, I would be a whole continent away from them, and I don't want to jump into a relationship with another man, you are a friend that's all".

"Ana, You forget I have a fleet of six aircraft which would be at your disposal whenever you wanted to visit them or have them visit you, I don't want to isolate you from your friends and family, and I can live with just being your friend, I understand your reluctance to jump into another relationship".

"But the baby?" I begin

Gideon shakes his head, "Ana you have me thinking of a life which I thought I could never have but that is a story for another time, but you make me realise I want my own family, I want to belong to someone and have someone to take care of".

"You'd really take on another mans child? That sounds a hell of a lot more than friendship" I ask nervously.

"Yes I would, and I can be just your friend and still take care of you and the baby" he says firmly

"Gideon that is very kind of you, but I don't want to take advantage of your kindness, we are friends that is all, having said that, it is a very generous offer regarding the job, will you give me time to consider it and think things through, everything is happening so fast and I have so much to process, and I really don't want you to think I am using you or leading you on" I ask

Gideon smiles and pulls me close, "Of course you can, I'm sorry to add to the things you need to think about, but after Grey's little performance, it seemed like the right thing to do and the right time to bring it up and I understand, just friends, I would never think you were using me".

"I'd never deny Christian the chance to see his child" I say firmly, and Gideon nods.

"I know, you are a wonderful warm and loving person and you don't have a nasty bone in your body, Grey has the resources to be able to see his child if he want to, but you shouldn't give up your dreams and ambitions just to make life easier for him" he says

I nod, "There is Grace and Carrick to consider as well, this baby will be their grandchild" I say. Gideon nods again.

"Not a problem" he says firmly.

"Ok give me a bit of time to think about it" I say. Gideon smiles, he pushes the hair from my face and kisses me sweetly on the lips.

"That's all I ask" he says quietly.

Gideon and I spend a wonderful day together, just hanging out, its something I would never do with Christian, he loathes television, and I have never just done nothing with him, but this is exactly what I am doing at this moment with Gideon, we have popcorn, soda and chips spread out in front of us and we are watching a DVD, it's one of Kate's which I love, When Harry Met Sally, Gideon points out the parts of New York featured in the film which he is familiar with. When the film ends I make a light lunch for us and he compliments my sub making skills. I giggle at his enthusiasm.

"It's only a sub" I say

He shakes his head, "Seriously Ana this is the best sub I have ever tasted, I have never had anything like this" he says.

"Would you like to stay for dinner this evening?" I ask

He nods "If this is a taste of your food preparation skills I am definitely staying for dinner" he says.

After lunch we head out and wander around the Market area I pick up some ingredients for dinner, I can't believe how relaxed and comfortable Gideon is just doing mundane every day things, I realise I am comparing him to Christian again, but I just can't picture Christian doing what we are doing. As we are heading back to the apartment I hear someone call my name.

"Ana" I turn and see Taylor walking quickly towards me a grim expression on his face. Gideon wraps a protective arm around me.

"Hi Taylor" I say with a smile, I turn to Gideon, "Gideon this is Jason Taylor, he is head of Christian's personal security team, Taylor this is my friend Gideon Cross" Gideon holds his hand out politely and Taylor takes it he nods his head curtly before turning to me.

"Ana, Mr Grey has asked that you accompany me to Escala, he wants to talk to you" he says in an almost apologetic tone.

"So Christian Grey demands and everyone has to jump" I say sarcastically.

I see a reluctant smile play on Taylor's lips, but he doesn't say anything. I sigh, "I'm sorry you are caught in the middle of this, but if Christian wants to talk to me he needs to come to me, I am busy, I am entertaining my friend who is here from New York visiting me and I don't have the time to drop everything and go running when his royal highness demands it, please tell him that word for word, and tell him I will be at home all day tomorrow, if he wants to see me I will be there waiting" I say firmly and I hear Gideon suppressing a snort of amusement.

Taylor smiles at me, "I will do...Ana, he told me what happened this morning, he is freaking out, I don't condone what he did and said, but when he does eventually talk to you please hear him out, he does regret how he behaved".

I nod, I touch Taylor's arm, "always the loyal employee aren't you Taylor? Yes I'll hear him out but he failed to realise how much I was freaking out as well, I hadn't exactly planned for this to happen, I wasn't expecting a joyful response but to deny paternity was low" I say.

Taylor nods, "I have to go, I take it you are not accompanying me now?" he says

I shake my head, "No, I know it would make your life easier if I did, but I am firm about this, he should come to me not the other way around"

"Very well, I'll tell him what you said...word for word" he says and with that he turns and is gone.

I watch him go, "Poor Taylor" I whisper

"You're fond of him?" Gideon asks

I nod, "I am, he is very loyal to Christian, but he has always been kind to me, like an uncle he is a good man and extremely good at his job, he is one of the few people Christian trusts completely and listens to"

"He must have the patience of a saint to deal with Grey every day" Gideon says

I giggle, "yes I have often thought that too" I say.

When we return to the apartment Kate is there with Elliot as soon as we walk in Elliot walks to me and holds me tightly.

"Are you ok?" he asks anxiously, he tips my chin up to look him the face, "I am so sorry about my little brothers idiotic and hurtful behaviour, if its any consolation both mom and dad have ripped him a new one, and lets just say Kate has told him what she thinks of him" he smiles and I wonder what Kate did, she is very protective of me and I can imagine that when she let rip she didn't take any prisoners.

"I'm fine Elliot, thank you" I remember my manners and introduce him to Gideon, they shake hands and exchange pleasantries.

"Are you and Kate staying for dinner?" I ask

Elliot shakes his head, "No, we have a reservation at Bravo, in fact..." he says checking his watch.

Gideon rummages for his phone, and makes a call I hug Elliot tightly. "Thank you for finding him today" I say.

Elliot shrugs, "He's my brother but he is a complete asshole sometimes...most of the time" he says.

Gideon steps forward, "I have arranged for your meal to be on the house tonight and your table has been upgraded to the private dining area" he says

Elliot's mouth drops open in surprise, "I happen to own Bravo, and its one of the reasons I am in Seattle at the moment, I am looking to sell it and I wanted to see if it was a viable option" Gideon explains.

"Well that's very kind of you, thank you" Elliot says

Gideon just nods in response. After Elliot and Kate leave I turn to Gideon, "That was a really nice thing you did for them" I say, Gideon just shrugs.

I head into the kitchen and start preparing dinner, "can I help?" Gideon asks walking up behind me.

"Sure if you want to" I say, I hand him a knife and point to a pile of onions and peppers waiting to be prepared, he washes his hands and rolls up his sleeves and begins to prepare the veg.

I feel calm and relaxed and comfortable, it's nice, I am always on alert and on edge around Christian and that just isn't the case with Gideon, I mentally pull myself together, Gideon is a friend nothing more.

After dinner we sit and talk, Gideon tells me about his family, his mother and his step father and his sister Ireland, he mentions he has a brother Christopher but doesn't go into much detail and I get the distinct impression they don't get along, I don't push him though.

As Gideon is about to leave the intercom buzzes I go and answer it, "Hi Steele" a drawling voice says.

"Ethan!" I squeal and I immediately buzz him up.

Moments later there is a knock at the door, I open it and Ethan grabs me and spins me around, I giggle and slap his arm playfully. Ethan looks up and stiffens when he sees Gideon.

"Ethan, this is Gideon Cross, he is a friend of mine visiting from New York, Gideon this is Ethan Kavanagh, Kate's brother" Ethan leans forward extending his hand to Gideon and Gideon shakes it politely.

"Will I see you tomorrow Ana?" Gideon asks as he shrugs on his coat.

"Don't leave on my account" Ethan says

Gideon shakes his head, "No, I was just leaving, good to meet you Ethan".

"Likewise" Ethan says with a grin.

"Ana?" Gideon says returning his attention to me.

"Erm, I'd better stay here in case Christian decides to make an appearance, after what I said to Taylor, plus I have a number of manuscripts I need to read, before Monday morning" I say apologetically.

Gideon nods, "That's fine, call me if Grey does show up and let me know how it goes" he says

"I will, thanks Gideon" I say, he leans down and kisses me on the lips gently and runs his fingers down my cheek, and then he turns and leaves.

"Ana, how do you know _the_ Gideon Cross, you know how to pick them, first Christian Grey and now Gideon Cross, hell girl you set your sights high!" Ethan smiles at me and nudges me.

I shake my head and turn away.

"Hey, I'm only kidding, what's wrong?" Ethan asks

"I am NOT a gold digger no matter what people think" I snap

Ethan looks at me in astonishment, "Hey Steele I know that, who has said such a thing?" he asks.

I burst into tears and Ethan pulls me towards him, "What's wrong talk to me Ana?" he says and leads me to the sofa.

I take a deep breath, "I'm pregnant, Christian is the father", I say bleakly

"Shit, does he know, how did he take it?" Ethan asks

I laugh mirthlessly "Oh he knows and he took it really well, I only found out myself this morning, and he turned up so I took the opportunity to tell him, he freaked out, denied paternity, accused me of sleeping with Gideon and stormed out" I say

"He WHAT!" Ethan exclaims, "oh my god, the asshole" he adds indignantly.

"He's scared" I say

"And you're not?" He says.

"I know" I say

"How do you know Gideon?" Ethan asks, "and what is he doing here?" he adds.

I sigh and rub my face, "We met in New York at a literary exhibition I was at with SIP – the place I work, and he owns Cross Publishing, we met up a few times and he helped me out" I say, I don't mention the Jack situation. "He turned up this morning to surprise me, he is in Seattle on business and he dropped by to see me while he was in town, Christian flipped while he was here and he stayed to make sure I was ok" I say.

"What are you going to do...about the baby I mean?" Ethan asks

I look up at him, "I will raise my baby alone if I have to, I have a number of options I can run through, but I want to hear what Christian has to say when he has calmed down, I won't deny him his child, but I won't force him to participate in his or her life" I absently stroke my stomach and Ethan smiles at me. He pulls me close and holds me.

"Jeez Steele what a mess!" he says


	15. Chapter 15

**AUTHORS NOTE: Just a quick message to say thank you for all the feedback it has been interesting to see who has been pro Gideon and who is firmly on Christian's side, I have a firm view of how this story is going to progress and it is already set, I won't be able to please everyone but I hope you all stick with it and appreciate my decisions. As you can see I have updated and uploaded three chapters at once this will NOT be norm so please don't expect this going forward, I just wanted this part of the story settled before the big revelation comes out in the next chapter which i am currently writing, so watch this space!**

CHAPTER 15

The next morning I am sitting drinking a cup of tea and making notes on one of the manuscripts I brought home when my phone rings, I see it is Christian calling, I am tempted to let it go to voice mail, but I think better of it and pick it up.

"Hello" I say nervously

"Ana, we need to talk" comes the clipped response.

I sigh and rub my forehead with my fingers, "Sure" I say there is a silence, I'm not sure what he was expecting but I have obviously taken him by surprise.

"When would be a good time for me to come over?" Christian asks eventually

"Whenever" I reply, "I'm in all day" I add

"Ok I can be with you in about 15/20 minutes, is that alright?" he asks

"Sure" I reply, there is another silence, "Is that it?" I ask

"Yes" comes the response and then the line goes dead. I shake my head; Ethan comes out of the guest room dishevelled and sleepy.

"Mornin'" he mutters rubbing his face.

"Morning Ethan, erm...Christian is on his way over to talk, I am going for a shower and to get dressed, when he arrives let him in will you please?" I ask as I stand and move towards my room.

"Sure" he says and he wanders into the kitchen to make some coffee.

I pick up my cell phone and text Gideon.

**-Christian called, wants to talk, is on his way now, will talk later. Ana**

The response is immediate, the phone starts to ring. I answer it with a smile.

"Ana, call me as soon as he is gone, are you alright, and are you alone, do you need me to come over?" Gideon asks

"Hi, good morning to you too" I respond, "Yes I will do, I am fine and Ethan is here, he is staying for a few days, its probably best if you don't come over, it will only antagonise Christian and it wouldn't be fair, I wouldn't like it if he brought Elena with him" I add, I start to giggle.

"What?" Gideon asks

"Nothing, I told Ethan to let Christian in if I am still in the shower when he arrives, Ethan has just woken up and he is wandering around in just a pair of boxer shorts, can you imagine Christian's reaction to that?!" my giggles erupt into full hysterical laughter at the thought.

I hear Gideon suppress a laugh, "Calm down Ana it's not that funny" he says but I can hear the amusement in his voice. "Is Kate there or are you alone with Ethan?" he asks

"I don't know" I respond, "I haven't seen her yet so perhaps, or perhaps not" I say

"I'll let you go and get your shower" Gideon says, "Call me when Grey has gone" he adds

"Ok bye Gideon" I say and I kill the call, I head to the bathroom and jump into the shower. I am just finishing getting dressed when I hear voices, I strain to listen.

I hear the unmistakable sound of a pissed off Christian Grey, "What the hell are you doing here Kavanagh?" I hear him snap.

"I'm staying here for a few days, not that it's any of your business" I hear Ethan retort.

Then I hear an aggressive screech from Kate. "What the fuck are you doing here Grey? If you have come to upset Ana again you can turn around and leave right now!" I stifle a giggle and head out.

Ethan is standing in just his boxer shorts clutching a mug of coffee, and Kate is standing in the doorway in her robe glaring at Christian. Christian turns and looks at me, he is clearly furious and trying to contain his temper.

"It's ok Kate" I say gently

Kate nods, "I'll be in here getting dressed, just yell if you need me" she gives Christian a filthy look "You are on my shit list Grey" she snarls and then turns and disappears down the corridor to her room, Ethan looks from me to Christian and back again.

"I'll be in my room, same goes for me Steele, if you need me to throw this asshole out just yell" he says, he turns to Christian, "Don't even think about upsetting her again" he says and with that he leaves Christian and I alone.

"Sorry about that" I mutter and gesture to a seat, Christian sits down without a word. "Would you like a drink?" I ask politely, he shakes his head.

I sit opposite him and wait. The silence seems to stretch out for ever, until Christian eventually looks up at me and begins to speak.

"Ana, I...I'm sorry for the way i behaved yesterday, it was unforgivable, but it was a shock" he stops.

"I found out myself only a couple of minutes before that, I found out, Kate came to me, Gideon arrived, then you arrived all in the space of about 5 minutes " I say.

"What's Kavanagh doing here?" he asks.

"He is Kate's brother so he has every right to be here" I say curtly

I see Christian ball his hands into fists on his lap as I say this, but I don't react or say anything, I just wait.

"What do you want to do...about the baby I mean?" he asks eventually

"I am not getting rid of my baby" I say defensively, Christian nods.

"I wouldn't expect you to, that is a decision every woman has to make on her own, and what ever you decide to do I will support you" he says.

I look at him, hoping sincerely that we can have a conversation without it degenerating into an argument, "Christian, I won't stop you from seeing your child, but I won't force you to either, I am prepared to do this alone, I have a number of options available to me and I am thinking them over, I don't want you to feel obliged to have a role in my child's life if you feel you don't really want to" I say.

Christian nods again, "Ana, when the child is born and paternity is established I will financially support you and the child, there will be no question about that"

I stand up my anger rising, "When paternity is established?! You still don't believe this baby is yours do you?" I glare at him, "Do you?" I spit again.

"Ana you have to realise I am a very wealthy man I..." he starts

"Get out" I say quietly, desperately trying to hang on to my emotions.

Christian stares in me in shock, but my inner bitch has now been unleashed, so much for a civilised discussion with those few words he has severely pissed me off, does this man not know me at all? "You seriously think I am trying to trap you, you are the only person I have ever slept with, I did not want this to happen I did not ask for it, this isn't some plan to get my hands on your money, I don't want your fucking money, I never have, it doesn't interest me in the slightest and you damn well know that, all I ever wanted was you but if you honestly think I am some kind of gold digger you can get out now and don't ever come back, have you any idea how I am feeling about this, I am just starting to establish a career and I am in no way ready to be a mother, but I will have to be, my baby didn't ask to be conceived, so I will do my best to be the best god damn mother I can be, and you - whether you like it or not will be his or her father, so grow up Christian" I march to the door and hold it open.

"Ana.. I ...I" he stammers

"Just go" I say quietly

"No" he replies stubbornly, "Ana, I have no idea how to be a father, I'm scared" he says.

I snort, "And you think I'm not" I spit at him

"Please Ana we need to discuss this" he pleads

I close the door and return to my place on the sofa. "Ana, I'm sorry for what I said, I do intend to contribute financially to the baby's future". He stops and stands and starts pacing. "I behaved badly I can't take that back, but I am sorry, I regret what I said. The best thing for you is to move in with me at Escala where I can keep you safe, you can hand in your notice at SIP and..." he stops at my astonished expression. "what?" he asks oblivious to my obvious irritation at his highhandedness.

"Do I get a say in this?" I ask

"Ana, this isn't up for discussion, we have to make the best of this" he says.

"I don't want to make the best of things, and what's this about me giving up my job?" I say

"You won't be working, you need to take care of yourself" he says

"I am not giving up my career, women work while pregnant all around the world, I am not moving into Escala, I am not making the best of things, and I am certainly not listening to anything else you have to say until you say something reasonable and sensible". I am standing now with my hands on my hips glaring at him.

Christian glares right back at me, "Well what do you suggest?" he snaps.

I take a deep breath, "Christian, I said I have a number of options which I have to consider, but my priority is my child, I will carry on working as long as I can so I can return to work afterwards and..."

"No, that is not happening, you will be a mother and your place will be with your child" he says emphatically.

I count to ten and raise my eyebrows at him, and continue as if he hadn't spoken, "as I was saying, I will return to work afterwards, I will have a support network around me, whether or not you choose to be part of it is up to you, I will point out to you, you will be a father so your place will also be with your child" I stop and fold my arms defiantly.

"It seems like you have it all planned out, you don't need or want me" he says

My patience snaps, and I throw my hands in the air, "Oh for gods sake Christian stop acting like a child, you are going from denying all parental responsibility to put out because I am making decisions, you can't have it both ways, if you want to be part of those decisions you need to behave like a father not a toddler having a tantrum, you are making my head spin with your attitude, and I really don't need this, any of it" I stop fighting the urge I have to cry and tears start to roll down my cheeks.

Christians shoulders sag, "I'm sorry, I just have no idea how to do this, Elena said I wasn't cut out to be a father, she was right"

My head snaps up at that piece of news, and my anger explodes out of me, "YOU TOLD THAT PAEDOPHILE THAT I AM PREGNANT!" I scream

Christian looks startled at me and his expression hardens, "Don't call her that, she helped me" he says quietly.

I stare at him and my mouth drops open not comprehending that he is still defending her, "She helped you? ok Christian, think about this, your child..." I put my hand on my stomach, "...your child is 15 years old, he or she meets someone who seduces them and leads them into a dark lifestyle, what would you do eh? What would you do? How would you feel about it? What would you call them? What would you call the person who did the same things to your child that Elena did to you?" I stand waiting for him to answer and I see his expression change from hard and closed to complete horror, and I realise it has finally dawned on him the reality of what Elena did to him, he sits down sharply on the sofa and puts his head in his hands.

"Shit" I hear him mutter.

"Exactly" I say a little more gently.

Christian stands up he looks lost and desolated, "I should go, I shouldn't be anywhere near you or the baby, I'm no good for you, either of you, I will make sure you are both financially secure and safe but there is no way on earth I can be a father" and with that he leaves.

I wasn't expecting that, I feel my legs give way and I sit down. My mind quickly goes over the last few moments, the things he said, I realise it was probably her who put the idea in his head that I was a gold digger, no wonder he is so confused if he is taking advice from a paedophile. I grab my phone and call Gideon, "he's gone" I say as soon as Gideon picks up.

"I'm on my way over" he says

"Thank you" I say


	16. Chapter 16

CHAPTER 16

I sit thinking over my options, still reeling from Christians reaction and I need advice and the best person I know for advice is Ray, but he won't be pleased to hear about this, but there is no way I can keep it from him. I pick up my phone and with shaking hands I call him.

"Hello" I immediately start to cry as I hear his voice.

"Daddy" I whisper

"Annie, what's wrong, what's happened sweetheart, talk to me" I hear the worry and panic in my dad's voice.

"Oh daddy its such a mess" I say

"Calm down and talk to your old man, whatever it is we can sort it out" he says patiently and I immediately start to calm.

"Are you sitting down?" I ask

"Sure sweetheart, come on talk to me" he says

"I'm pregnant, Christian is the father, but he doesn't want to be, he said he will financially support us but doesn't want to be a father" I stop

"Doesn't he now" my father's voice has turned hard and clipped.

"There's more daddy, my friend Gideon from New York, do you remember him, well he is in Seattle on business and came to visit me which happened to be when I discovered I was pregnant and was here when I told Christian and witnessed his reaction, Gideon has offered me a job in New York, what do I do daddy?" I ask

"This Gideon is he the one who helped you out with that Jack character?" he asks

"Yes" I answer

"Well he seems like a good man, I'm surprised at Christian though, and at this moment I want to wring his neck, what's stopping you from taking the job Annie?" Ray stops speaking.

"What is stopping me is you daddy, I don't want to be the other side of the country from you" I say

I hear Ray sigh, "Annie that's real sweet but you have to do what's best for you and your baby, this guy is offering you a job and giving you the chance of a fresh start that is an offer which you should consider seriously, don't you get worrying about me, take this and get away and make a fresh start somewhere else and put distance between you and Christian".

"Gideon said I would have his plane at my disposal to fly to Montesano or fly you to New York whenever I wanted to" I say

There is a silence, "I think I should meet this Gideon for myself how long is he in Seattle?" Ray asks

"I don't know, but he is on his way over here as we speak" I say

Just at that moment the intercom buzzes I go and answer it and moments later Gideon strides into the room a concerned expression on his face.

"Daddy, Gideon is here now, do you want to speak to him?" I ask

"Put him on" Ray says

I hand my phone to Gideon, "its Ray, my stepfather, I have told him about your job offer and he wants to talk to you" I say, Gideon nods and takes the phone from me.

"Hello Sir, Gideon Cross here" he says politely, "Yes sir that is correct,...yes...yes I do...she is a wonderful woman...yes I have...that wouldn't be a problem, of course I can...yes sir...yes sir...I totally understand...yes, no problem, yes goodbye sir, I'll hand you back to Ana" Gideon hands me the phone and smiles at me.

"Annie, Gideon says it won't be a problem for him to come and meet me today, I'm sorry I can't drive down to you, but I have a job I need to finish" he says

I am surprised at this, but I roll with it, "Ok daddy" I say, "I'll see you later" I add and I hang up and look up at Gideon who steps forward and folds me into his arms.

"He wants to meet me, he tells me you told him about the baby and about my offer of a job" I nod but don't say anything. "What happened when Grey came?" Gideon asks gently.

I sigh and tell him what had happened leaving out the part about Elena, Gideon shakes his head, "he is behaving like a child, he needs to wake up" he says, he runs his fingers down my cheek, "and how he could let someone as wonderful as you slip through his fingers I don't know" he says. I smile but pull my face away from his hand.

Kate and Ethan appear a few moments later, and are surprised to see Gideon here, they smile at him and look anxiously at me, "Everything ok?" Ethan asks, I nod and smile. I explain we are going to Montesano to see Ray as he wants to meet Gideon and Kate smiles widely.

"Ray is a good man" she says.

It doesn't take too long to drive to Montesano, when we arrive Ray comes out to meet us and strides up to Gideon, Gideon climbs out of the car and confidently walks towards Ray to meet him extending his hand in greeting.

"Gideon Cross, pleased to meet you sir" he says politely

"Ray Steele" my dad says as he accepts the greeting. He turns to me, "Hello Annie how are you?" he says he holds his arms open to me and I walk into them, he always knows when I need it most and this moment is one of those times. Gideon watches the exchange quietly and steps back so he doesn't intrude on this private moment. When we pull apart, Ray turns to Gideon, "I'd like to talk to you in private for a few moments please son" he says and then he turns to me, "Annie go inside and make your old man some tea, I could do with a cup" I smile, Ray's cure all for any occasion, I know he wants to get rid of me so I smile and nod and head inside.

It seems like ages, but eventually Gideon and Ray re-enter the house, Ray is smiling and Gideon looks relaxed so I am guessing the talk went well.

"Would you like some tea Gideon?" I ask

"Please" he replies.

"Sit down Gideon, and welcome to my home, I'm sure its nothing like you are used to but its home" Ray says, I am guessing Gideon has explained the extent of the resources he has at his disposal and although he is dressed casually his clothes are clearly expensive which betrays his wealth.

"It's lovely, it has a wonderful atmosphere, it's a real home" Gideon says sincerely and almost enviously as he sits down. Gideon looks around and I see him staring at all the furniture Ray has made.

"They're good aren't they? Ray made them all he is a master craftsman" I say proudly

Gideon looks surprised as he takes a closer look at some of the furniture, and runs his hand along one of the chairs. I place a mug of tea in front of Ray and Gideon and join them at the table.

"Annie, tell me exactly what Christian said to you today" Ray says as he takes a sip of tea. I recount his visit but leave out the part about Elena once again, but Ray knows I am holding something back.

"There's something you're not telling me Annie, come on spit it out" he says

I blush and feel uncomfortable, "there is, yes" I admit, "but I can't talk about it, Christian trusted me with information which I can't divulge and if I were to tell you I would have to betray that confidence, plus the fact he got me to sign an NDA and I don't want to breach that" Ray looks at me his mouth open and Gideon frowns.

"Ana, NDA's aren't legally enforceable" Gideon says, "What did he say to you?" he adds

I shake my head, "No I won't betray him" I say firmly.

"Ok Annie, I get it, but I'll ask one thing, this thing which you won't talk about, is this behind the reason he doesn't want to be a father to his baby" Ray says and looks at me carefully.

I sigh, and nod, "he's scared, scared he won't be a good father" I say, "but that's all I'm willing to divulge" I say firmly.

"I don't know what to say, Annie, it is obvious you care deeply about Christian, but I really think you two need to put some distance between you, give him chance to sort his head out and come to his senses and you so you can have a fresh start" Ray says eventually after some thought.

"I'm worried about what will be said when the press get wind of this mess, they will have a field day with the story that Christian Grey's pregnant girlfriend has run off to New York with Gideon Cross" I say.

Gideon reaches across the table, "You will let me handle that, anyone prints anything derogatory about you and I will destroy them" he says grimly. I swallow hard not doubting for one moment that he would.

"Ok" I say eventually, "Gideon I would like to take you up on your offer of a job in New York as an editor at Cross Publishing" I say firmly.

Gideon beams at me and rises swiftly to his feet and rounds the table pulling me to my feet and holding me to him.

"You won't regret this Ana I will take care of you and the baby" he says. I try and push him away and look up at him, "Just friends" he adds with a grin.

We spend a bit of time with Ray. He show's Gideon his latest carpentry commission which he is working on. Gideon is impressed and questions Ray on his materials and sustainability of the wood he uses. The conversation between the two men veers towards fishing and I learn that Gideon likes to fish. I roll my eyes and busy myself tidying up Ray's kitchen while they talk about fishing and hunting. I make a Chicken pie for Ray and put it in the oven setting the timer so he knows when it will be ready. It is cooking nicely when Gideon and Ray reappear.

"Something smells good" Ray says

"I made you a chicken pie, I have set the timer so you know when it should be done ok" I say

Gideon walks over and wraps his arm around my waist, "I think you need to make one of those for me, it smells delicious" he says.

"You are welcome stay and join me for dinner" Ray says.

I shake my head, "Thanks dad, but I only made enough for you, besides I need to get back I have arrangements to make if I am going to New York and I still have a couple of manuscripts I need to read" I say.

Ray hugs me tightly as we bid him goodbye and Gideon assures us both that his plane is at our disposal so we can see each other regularly.

When we arrive back in Seattle I tell Kate of my decision, she is shocked but understands my reasoning, she isn't happy that I will be moving so far away but agrees it's an opportunity of a lifetime. Gideon spends most of the time on his phone making arrangements; I use Kate's laptop to draft a letter of resignation to Roach at SIP. I wonder briefly how Christian will take this news.

"Do you think I should tell Christian now?" I ask Kate as she proof reads my letter and then prints it off.

She nods, "Yes, I mean even though he doesn't want to be involved, he has a right to know where his child will be living and who with, I'm guessing he won't take it well though" she says

I nod, "I think that's the understatement of the year, I just hope we can stay civil for the sake of the baby" I say.

Gideon strides in and goes through all the arrangements he has made, I have to give a weeks notice at SIP so all the plans are set for a fortnights time, he has arranged for a plane to be at my disposal to transport all my furniture and belongings and he is sending someone to transport my car to New York for me.

I decide to bite the bullet, first of all I call Grace, and I wait as the phone rings out.

"Dr Trevelyan speaking" I smile as I hear Grace's kind voice.

"Hi Grace its Ana" I say

"Ana darling, how did it go with Christian?" she asks

I sigh, "Not too good we ended up arguing and he said I should stay away from him for my own sake as well as my baby" I say.

"Oh no" Grace sounds upset and I regret that I have caused so much pain to her.

"Grace I am so sorry for how things have worked out, my reason for calling is I have been offered a job in New York and I am going to take it, a bit of distance and a fresh start is what I need and hopefully it will give Christian time to sort out his head" I say

"Oh Ana, please don't let Christian drive you away" she says

"I'm not, and I assure you I will not stop him or you and Carrick seeing the baby whenever you want to" I say, "This is truly an opportunity of a lifetime for me and I want to grab it, my career is doubly important now as I have the baby to consider" I say

"I understand Ana, truly I do, and I know Christian can be stubborn and difficult, I'm so sorry for his behaviour" she says sadly

"Please don't Grace" I say, "Do you know of a good doctor I can contact once I reach New York, I'd be happier going with someone you recommend" I say

"Of course, when are you going?" she asks

"In a fortnight's time" I say

"Oh that soon" Grace says in surprise

"Yes once I decided, things seemed to move quickly" I say glancing at Gideon who is busy texting someone.

"Well Ana, this isn't how I hoped things would work out, but I hope you will be happy and I wish you the best of luck and remember if you need anything Carrick and I are only a call away" she says

"Thank you Grace I appreciate that" I say

"Have you told Christian yet?" Grace asks carefully

"No" I reply, "I am about to ring him, and hopefully see him face to face to tell him" I say

"Well I'll let you go so you can do that" Grace says

"Thank you Grace for everything" I say sincerely

"You are more than welcome Ana, and remember what I said...goodbye Ana" and with that she is gone, I feel a tear trickle down my cheek. I brush it away and steel myself for my call to Christian.

I scroll through my contacts and find Christians name and hit his speed dial and wait.


	17. Chapter 17

CHAPTER 17

"Ana what's wrong?" the sound of the anxiety in Christians voice when he answers tugs at my heart, this is going to be so hard.

"Hi Christian, I'm fine honestly, I was wondering if I could see you? I have something to tell you which I feel should be said face to face, I owe you that much" I stop and swallow hard.

"Of course you can, I will always make time for you Ana you know that" he says, "I'll send Taylor to pick you up" he adds.

"No thank you Christian, I can drive myself, I'll leave in a few moments is that ok?" I ask

"Yes I'll see you shortly" he says.

Gideon watches me hang up, "Do you want me to come with you?" he asks

I shake my head, "No, I need to do this alone and it would be rubbing his face in it if I was to turn up with you, and he doesn't deserve that" I say.

Gideon nods, "Ok" he says, and he rubs his hand down my arm, and presses a kiss to my cheek. Once again I feel myself pulling away from his touch.

I grab my phone and car keys and leave the apartment.

When I arrive at Escala Taylor is waiting the in the car park for me, he smiles at me as I leave the car. I walk up to him, and pull him to one side.

"Hi Taylor, can I ask a favour of you?" He looks at me in surprise I decide to be brief.

"Please take care of Christian Taylor, he is a good man" I say, Taylor cocks his head to one side and looks questioningly at me, I sigh, "I'm leaving, I've been offered a job in New York its a huge opportunity and I'm going to grab it with both hands, that's why I'm here, to tell Christian". I stop as Taylor's mouth falls open and he runs his hands through his hair, a gesture which I have seen Christian do so many times.

"Shit!" he exclaims.

"What?" I ask confused at his response, not to mention shocked at his emotional outburst, if there is anything I know about Jason Taylor it is he doesn't do emotional outbursts.

"This will kill him, you do realise that don't you?" Taylor says glaring at me," he barely survived when you walked out on him last time", he points towards the building "that man loves you with all his heart, I know he comes across as a complete dick and behaves like a heartless asshole most of the time, but you have no idea the effect you have had on him. Don't do this Ana, please I beg you, he needs you, he won't admit it, but if you saw him when you went last time, he was like a lost child, he sat on the floor of his bedroom and put together that model you bought him, he worked on it for hours, and wouldn't leave it until it was complete, he didn't go to the gala he was supposed to go to, he just sat on the floor in his bedroom making that damned model, he didn't eat and when he finally went to bed he had one of his night terrors, and it was one of the worst ones I've seen in a long time" Taylor stops realising he has said too much.

"I...I didn't know Christian had night terrors?" I stammer

"He didn't when he was sleeping with you" Taylor snaps at me, he looks at me and appears to be considering something, "I am going to tell you something he said to me, if he was to ever find out I had repeated this I would be fired, but you need to know this before you make any decisions, that man is tormented he has had night terrors every single night and as far as I know it has been every single night of his life as long as he can remember, and every night either myself or Gail would go to him and wake him, but when he slept with you that night at the Fairmont when you were drunk, for the first time in his life he slept soundly with no nightmares, he thought it was a fluke, but every time he slept with you the terrors didn't materialise, I commented that he was having better sleep since he met you, and you know what he said, he said I feel safe for the first time in my life she makes me feel safe, he heard you say you would never leave him in your sleep and he told me and he said it was the most comforting thing he had ever heard, he relaxed with you, he let you in so much, far more than anyone else in his life, even his family, much more than any of his previous subs, I know that may be hard to believe from your perspective but he was so cut off and cold with them, he used them, when he wasn't fucking them or doing whatever shit he did to them, they were in their rooms, they never slept in his bed, they never walked around the apartment like you did, the only other time they came out of their rooms was to cook for him at mealtimes, then he ate alone". Taylor looks at me, "I've said far too much but just think about all that before you go up there and destroy him" he says.

I nod, I am totally confused now, I feel like I have been kicked in the gut, my mind starts racing what the hell am I going to do? Taylor leads me to the elevator, as the doors open Christian is standing there waiting looking hopeful. I smile at him, he walks towards me and kisses my cheek.

"You have me intrigued Miss Steele" he says as he takes my hand and leads me into the apartment. I glance at Taylor, and blow out a harsh breath. I think carefully what I am going to say, and how I am going to word it so it doesn't sound like I am abandoning him, as it appears that is the root of all his issues, he has severe abandonment issues, which lead him to behave irrationally, in a moment of incredible clarity it all comes together in my mind and I realise _why_ Christian behaves the way he does, all I have seen is the overbearing jealous asshole demanding and throwing tantrums and not the broken man who went through unspeakable things as a child which made him that way. I quickly piece together in my mind what I am going to say to him.

"Come and sit down" he says and pulls me down beside him on the huge sofa, I glance around and see Taylor has vanished. "What do you want to talk about? If it's about the baby, I know what I said upset you, and I'm sorry, please don't worry about anything, I will pay for all your pre natal care, everything" he says.

"I'm not here about that" I say carefully, I take a deep breath to steady my nerves, and I look him straight in the eye. "Every time we try and talk we end up screaming at each other, I am stubborn you are stubborn, but we can't do this, its not good for either of us" I pause, "So I have decided to put some space between us for a little while, so we can both sort out how we feel and what we want and need from each other, I have been offered a huge opportunity, its a job in New York and I have accepted it. I want you in my life and our baby's life Christian but we both need to grow up and work out what we both want and need from each other and we can only do that if we are apart, it will give us space to see things clearly and we won't be tearing each other apart in the process, I will keep you updated of my pregnancy and the baby's progress and we can keep in contact by phone, Skype, email and text" I hold my hand up as he goes to speak and he obediently closes his mouth again. "Christian we both need to take the time to resolve issues in our lives, I have to learn to be more accommodating and understanding with your issues and not react to them all the time, I don't like to be controlled, I have issues with that and you know why, my step father tried to take away my control of my body, thankfully he didn't manage to completely violate me but I worked hard to regain my self respect and self worth and I won't give it up, but I have realised that that is at odds with your need for control, what you told me about your childhood experiences you have to have control and when I don't comply it sends all your insecurities into overdrive. I have male friends and that sparks your jealousy because you think I am going to cheat on you or leave you, and your jealousy drives me nuts and so we clash so we need to find some middle ground and the only way we can do that is to give each other space and learn to respect each other and each others insecurities". I stop and look at him. It breaks my heart to see the desolation in his eyes. "Christian, I'm not leaving you, I'm giving us space and time, space to sort our heads out, and time to work out what we want and need from each other, we were so intense, so quickly, and we know each other physically but we need more than that to work, we need to know each other emotionally and learn how to compromise with each other and respect each others baggage, we need to communicate like adults and not resort to screaming at each other when either of us doesn't get our own way" I stop and I catch sight of Taylor he nods and smiles at me and then disappears again. I look at Christian carefully, "What do you think?" I ask, as I look at him thinking over what I have said, I wonder how he will react I know it could go either way.

"You're leaving me" he says eventually, and my heart sinks he has latched on to that one point and ignored all the rest, I sigh.

"Did you not hear anything I just said?" I say irritably, I am feeling tired and I am suddenly overtaken with a wave of nausea. I take a deep breath and fight it, but I know I am going to be sick, I clap my hand over my mouth and head to the sink and start retching, Christian comes up behind me and holds my hair, and rubs my back gently. When I have finished he hands me a towel and pours me a glass of water. We sit back down and he looks at me, "Better?" he asks

I nod as I sip my water. "My morning sickness seems to have a broken watch" I say with a wry smile.

Christian sighs, "So you are moving to New York?" he says eventually, I nod waiting for the inevitable next question. "Are you going to work for Cross?" he asks, and there it is.

"Yes" I reply, I wait for the outburst but to my surprise it doesn't come.

"You're right" he says sadly

"I am? I mean I am" I say shocked to the core by this new accommodating Christian.

"Yes everything you have said makes sense, you promise me you are going there for the job and not for him?" he says

I nod, "Yes I am, he would like more but he is my friend and nothing more, he has said he wants to take care of me and the baby, he has said he wants us to be a family but I haven't agreed to that" I say firmly.

"Ok" he says warily

"Can I come and visit you?" he asks

I smile at him and lean forward and touch his face, he closes his eyes and leans into my touch. "Of course you can, I would expect nothing less" I say.

"What's the job?" he asks, I quickly explain the retirement of the editors and Gideon's offer, "I could give you that" he says, I stare at him, "I own SIP, I bought them out, one word from me and you would be permanently installed as the Fiction Editor, rather than just a caretaker of the role" he says.

I shake my head, "Thank you Christian, but no, we need to do this, and this is truly an opportunity of a lifetime and I am to become a mother in a few months I want to do something with my degree and all my hard work at University before the baby comes" I say.

He nods, "Alright, I accept that, but you are still mine" he says

"Christian" I begin, he grips my hand.

"I know, you are not a possession, you don't belong to anyone, but I beg to differ, you are carrying my baby, there is a part of me inside you at this very minute, that makes me a part of your life and I don't want to lose my grip on that, so promise me you may be the other side of the country but you are still mine" he stops and stares at me earnestly, and I feel my heart flip when he says the words my baby and then it melts and I realise what he means and I smile, he is starting to accept the baby.

"Ok, yes I'm still yours" I say with a sigh.

He beams at me and wraps his arms around me, "I'm so sorry for the way I behaved when you told me about the baby, I will try and be a good father, I have no idea how to do it but I will try" he says

"That's all I ask, and hey I have no idea how to be a mother either so we can learn together, but I really think the distance will be good for both of us, we can work out what we want and need from each other and work out the important things".

"Ok, I won't say I am happy with it but I understand why we need to do it" he says. I realise this is a huge step for Christian, and in these few moments of civil communication and compromise on both sides we have made an enormous amount of progress.


	18. Chapter 18

CHAPTER 18

I hug Christian good bye in the car park and he watches as I climb into my car.

"Drive carefully" he says anxiously, I smile at him but don't say anything. As I pull out of the Escala car park I glance in my rear view mirror and see Christian still standing there watching me leave, it takes me all my willpower not to turn the car around and go back to him, but I am more than sure now that the move to New York is the best thing, I am confident that it will bring us closer together in the long run.

When I arrive back at the apartment I am surprised to see Gideon still sitting there watching TV with Ethan, they are drinking beer and chatting.

"Hi guys what are you watching?" I ask

They both look up, "Dunno just some random crap" Ethan says. Gideon stands and walks towards me.

"Did it go ok?" he asks, I nod.

"Yes it did, it was very civilised, I think we made more progress tonight than we have done since we met. We finally had a grown up conversation and saw each other's point of view without it degenerating into an argument, it was a big step in the right direction" I smile.

Just as I am about to head to the kitchen to get myself a drink the intercom buzzes.

"I'll get it" Ethan says and hauls himself towards it, moment s later there is a knock at the door.

I answer and see a middle aged woman, with short platinum blonde hair cut into a bob, she has clearly had botox and her make up is over done.

"Can I help you?" I ask,

"Anastasia Steele?" she sneers

"Yes, may I ask who you are?" I say, I am shocked as she pushes past me and strides into the apartment. "Hey lady what the fuck do you think you are doing" I shout,

"I am Elena Lincoln and I am here to discover what your game is, do you really think you can hang on to a man like Christian Grey by pulling a cheap stunt like getting yourself pregnant, my god he eats girls like you for breakfast. I don't know what your plan is lady but you are seriously deluded if you think he is going play happy families with you". She stops and her mouth drops open when she sees Gideon staring at her.

"You!" he gasps, "Sybil Hanson as I live and breathe, what rock did you crawl out from under" he spits.

I stare at Gideon in confusion, "Gideon this is Elena Lincoln, Christian's _'friend' _" I sarcastically say the word friend, I see movement and Elliot and Kate appear with shock on their faces.

"Elena what are you doing here?" Elliot asks.

Elena spins around and stares at them, a look of horrified recognition when she sees Elliot she obviously wasn't expecting an audience of this magnitude nor witnesses to her venomous outburst, she pushes past me and leaves without another word.

"What the hell was that all about?" Kate asks

"That's what I'd like to know" I say, I grab my phone and call Christian, he answers after the first ring. "Christian, your _friend_ has been here and verbally abused me" I say before he can say a word.

"What?!" he exclaims, "I'll be right over" he adds and hangs up.

A few moments later he arrives accompanied by Taylor, I am still reeling from her outburst. Christian glares at Gideon, and Kate and Elliot launch into a volley of questions as to why Elena came here. Christian ignores them and turns to me.

"What happened, what did she say?" he asks looking at me anxiously, I tell him word for word what she said to me and how she had behaved, Christian starts pacing and running his hands through his hair.

"I didn't have anything to do with this Ana please believe me" he says, " I can't understand why she would do this, but I didn't send her Ana, do you believe me?" he looks at me pleading with his eyes for me to believe him.

"I do" I whisper.

Gideon steps forward, "Christian can I talk to you privately?" he asks, I look up surprised at the tone Gideon is using, Christian seems surprised too and obviously realises this is important and he nods and follows Gideon into the kitchen and the door is shut.

"What's all that about?" Kate asks

I shrug, "I have no idea, by the way where's Ethan gone?" I ask looking around

"I'm here, what did I miss?" he says strolling out, Kate rolls her eyes and pats his shoulder.

"Never mind bro" she says.

Moments later we see Gideon and Christian leaving the kitchen they both look shattered and pale. Christian walks over to me and pulls me into his arms holding me tightly to him, "If that woman comes anywhere near you again you call me immediately do you understand me?" he says There is something in his tone which doesn't make me argue or question this demand, I simply nod and say nothing.

"Promise me Ana" he barks

"Ok I promise, what's going on Christian?" I ask, I push away from him and look up into his face.

He shakes his head, "You were right about her" he mutters and looks at Gideon, he nods at him before returning his attention to me. He looks crushed and devastated and the expression on his face is concerning me.

"Christian talk to me, what is it?" I ask touching his arm gently

He shakes his head, "I need to go, I have to...I can't... Gideon will explain everything" he says in a clipped tone, he kisses my cheek and then he is gone. I realise something big went down in the kitchen and whatever it was has made Christian shut down, I look at Gideon, he looks just as shattered, Kate speaks and draws me from my troubled thoughts

"We will leave you to it" she says, obviously picking up on the intense atmosphere which has settled around us. She grabs Ethan and Elliott and heads towards the door; I catch her eye and mouthe the words thank you to her as they leave. I close the door and turn to Gideon.

"What's going on?" I ask, as I quickly walk towards him. I stop in front of him and put my hands on my hips, "Come on what did you say to Christian, what has happened here and why the hell did you call Elena Sybil?

He pulls me down on to the sofa, "That woman abused Christian didn't she, she is the situation you wouldn't talk about at your fathers house isn't she?" he says, I feel my breath catch but don't say anything, still determined to protect Christian's privacy.

"It's ok Ana, I know, and so does Christian now. That woman you and Christian know as Elena Lincoln is actually Sybil Hanson, she was a member of a paedophile ring in New York in the 1990's, she escaped justice because she had some powerful people in her pocket, as she was also a BDSM Mistress at a local BDSM Brothel, she disappeared and obviously moved to Seattle where she re-invented herself. She is a very dangerous sadistic woman" he stops.

"How do you know all this?" I ask I am feeling nauseous at what Gideon has just told me, Gideon lowers his head, and looks vulnerable, this isn't a look I have ever seen on his face before and the sickening realisation dawns on me, "Oh my god she abused you too?" I gasp; I reach out for him and grasp his hand.

He shakes his head, "No, but one of her cronies did" he whispers. I gasp again and my hands fly to my mouth.

"Oh Gideon" I say, "What happened to you?" I ask

He looks up at me and shakes his head, "I can't tell you its too awful" he mutters

I grip his hand tightly, "yes you can, I'm your friend Gideon, you can tell me anything, I won't judge you, when whatever happened to you, you were a child and it wasn't your fault".

He lifts his head and I see tears in Gideon's eyes something I have never seen before, he looks afraid and exposed something I had never associated with him, he lowers his head again and closes his eyes, and begins to speak, "he was meant to help me, he was meant to be my therapist when my dad committed suicide, he was meant to help me, I was angry and troubled, he said I was starting puberty and needed to masturbate, I let him touch me, he said I was doing it wrong, I let him touch me, he made me come every damn time, so he could say I liked it, things escalated and soon that wasn't enough for him and he...he...and he...raped me" Gideon's voice is barely above a whisper, he is staring at the ground, I don't hesitate I lean forward and wrap my arms around him.

"Come here" I say, tears are pouring down my cheeks and I hold him tightly

He wraps his arms around me and rests his head on my shoulder and starts to sob, I console him as best as I can, my mind is spinning.

Gideon pulls away and looks at me, "you...you believe me?" he asks me incredulously.

I stare at him in surprise, "Of course I believe you, why wouldn't I?" I say

He grabs me again and his body shakes as he sobs on my shoulder.

"Gideon what is it?" I ask gently

"I told my mother and she didn't believe me, it wasn't her fault, she took me to a paediatrician and he happened to be married to Hugh's sister so to protect her he buried the evidence of the abuse and called me a liar". He says bitterly.

I feel another wave of nausea engulf me and I stand and rush to the bathroom, and start vomiting into the toilet, Gideon comes and kneels beside me and holds my hair, just as Christian had done earlier.

"Are you alright?" he asks, I nod, but my head is spinning I rest my head on my arm on the edge of the toilet bowl. "Are you sure, you are very pale? I'm calling Christian" Gideon says, I nod but say nothing, and just sit with my head on my arm. I hear Gideon stand and then talk on his phone. "Grey, Cross here, Ana needs you...yes, I will, he's on his way" he says and he crouches beside me, rubbing my back gently.

A short while later the intercom buzzes and I hear Gideon go to answer the door, I hear low murmuring. Moments later I feel Christian's strong arms around me lifting me off the cold bathroom floor. I wrap my arms around him and he takes me to my room laying me down gently on my bed. I look up and see Gideon sitting one side and Christian sitting the other side of my bed, I manage a weak smile. "I'm sorry about that" I say.

I look from Gideon to Christian and back again, "you two need to sit down and talk to each other" I say firmly, they look at each other, "full disclosure you two need to trust each other as together you can be an unbelievably powerful force to get justice not only for yourselves but probably for many, many other children who have crossed her path and that of her cronies" I turn to Gideon, "What happened to Hugh?" I ask him.

"Suicide" he whispers and I nod. Gideon turns to Christian, "She's right, if we pool our resources there is nothing we couldn't achieve" Christian nods and then begins to speak.

"I thought she was helping me, Flynn has been telling me for years it was abuse but I didn't listen, but now, it was the baby that did it, it made me see that what we did was...wrong. She manipulated me, she manipulated my mother using her friendship with her to get information on me" he stops and turns to Gideon, "Promise me you will use every possible resource you have to keep Ana safe in New York" he turns to me, "it is a good idea you are going there, until we track her down, she won't be able to harm you or the baby" he says

Gideon holds out his hand to Christian, "You have my word" he says solemnly.


	19. Chapter 19

CHAPTER 19

I look at Christian and Gideon, united over such a sickening experience. I realise that Elliot was here when Elena came and will be asking questions when he and Kate return.

"Christian, Kate and Elliot, were here when she turned up and they witnessed her outburst and they saw you and Gideon disappear into the kitchen to talk, so a heads up here, you know Kate will dig, but Elliot will want answers too".

"He can want" Christian says coldly

I touch his hand, "Christian, he's your brother, he loves you, if you want my advice, you should gather your family together and tell them what she did to you, this is your chance Christian, rid yourself of this. If you and Gideon are going after her, you won't be able to keep it secret, get your family on board now, perhaps they can help you, Carrick would be a huge asset with his legal expertise and experience. I'm sure Gideon would go with you to give his knowledge on that woman, and I'll go with you too if you want me to, this a golden opportunity for you, grab it" I say.

Christian shakes his head, "No I can't" he says.

"Christian, your mother is a paediatrician, she was probably targeted by Elena for that reason, do you want Elena to continue to leach off of your mother?" I say, his eyebrows raise and I see him considering my words.

"You'd be with me when I tell them?" he mutters

"Of course I will" I say

Gideon looks straight at Christian,"So will I" he says.

"Could I do it here? Neutral ground so to speak?" he asks quietly

"Of course you can" I reply

Christian stands and pulls out his phone, I watch all vulnerability drain away replaced by the cold impenetrable CEO facade. He has made a decision to do something and he is now making it happen.

"Mom, it's Christian, I need you and dad to come over to Ana's apartment immediately...no she's fine, I'll explain when you get here...yes...ok...thanks mom I'll see you both shortly" he hangs up, "they are on their way" he says.

I go to climb off the bed, "Where are you going?" Christian asks

"I'm feeling better now, I need to get up" I say

I see him go to protest but think better of it, "Ok" he says and offers me his hand to help me up. We go into the sitting room and as we sit waiting for Carrick and Grace to arrive we start to talk, Christian, Gideon and I sit and share life experiences which no-one should be subjected to, we share the grisly details of our abusive pasts, Gideon looks horrified when I tell him about my step father, Christian opens up like I have never seen before and talks and talks about his childhood experiences with his birth mother and her pimp and how it all started with Elena. Some of the things she did to him were truly sickening, and I'm sure as he recalls them and speaks about that time he realises there was no way on this earth that woman ever helped him as she had brainwashed him to believe. Gideon talks about his childhood, his father and his crooked financial deals that went bad and his suicide, his mothers swift remarriage and his experiences at the hands of the health professional who was sent in to help him, and then the lies of the paediatrician and most appallingly his own brother who both made Gideon out to be an attention seeking liar, and how that alienated him from his family. We all purge ourselves of the pain and memories of the past, in this strange makeshift group therapy session, only stopping when the intercom buzzes, I go and let Grace and Carrick in, Grace looks worried as she comes in, she hugs me and looks at me questioningly, and then offers her cheek to Christian for him to kiss it.

"Oh mom" he moans and wraps his arms around her, I see the shock on Grace's face, I realise this must be the first time he has ever hugged her, the shock dissipates and turns to a pure expression of maternal love as she closes her eyes and her arms go uncertainly around his neck, I see him flinch slightly but he doesn't let go. It's a beautiful moment to witness. I turn to Carrick who looks from me to Gideon and then to Christian and Grace. I step forward.

"Carrick this is Gideon Cross my friend from New York, Gideon this is Carrick Grey Christian's father" I say, Gideon holds out his hand and Carrick accepts it.

"Pleased to meet you sir" Gideon says politely.

I see Christian pull away from Grace and he introduces her to Gideon, she smiles, "Yes we've met, good to see you again Gideon" she says, Gideon smiles at her.

"Likewise Mrs Grey" he says.

"Please call me Grace" she says.

"Shall we sit" Christian says taking charge, I quickly go and get some glasses and a jug of water although I'm thinking something stronger may be needed after what is about to be said. When I return everyone takes a seat I find myself sitting in between Christian and Gideon and they both reach for my hands I realise how weird this must look to Grace and Carrick and I begin to speak to start the explanations.

"Thank you for coming, Christian needs to tell you something, and I warn you its not pleasant, he and Gideon have discovered something which ..." I pause, and look at Christian, "I'll let Christian explain to you" I say, I grip his hand tightly, Christian looks at me the fear evident in his eyes, and my heart breaks for him..

"It's ok baby they won't blame you, it wasn't your fault" I say, I let go of Gideon's hand and touch Christian's cheek and I lean forward and place a small kiss on his lips, "Go on you'll be fine, we are all here for you" I say encouragingly to him looking him straight in the eye, Gideon stands and moves to sit the other side of Christian and places his hand reassuringly on Christians shoulder, again Christian flinches slightly but quickly recovers, Gideon hastily removes his hand and mutters a word of apology to Christian. Christian nods and closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and then gripping my hand tightly begins to tell Grace and Carrick about what Elena did, he doesn't go into the detail he did with Gideon and I, he just says that she seduced him when he was fifteen, recalling how it all started, and going on to admit that they had a sexual relationship that lasted a number of years.

When Christian has finished speaking Grace and Carrick look dumbfounded, and then Gideon starts to speak telling them what he knows of Elena, and who she really is - about her activities in New York, the BDSM brothel and paedophile ring she was linked with.

Carrick and Grace look shell shocked when Christian and Gideon have finished speaking, "Why now?" Grace asks. I look at her confused and Gideon and Christian look at each other.

"What was the catalyst for this revelation?" Carrick asks patiently.

I sigh and raise my hand, "Erm that would be me, she turned up here earlier and verbally abused me, basically accusing me of being a gold digger, playing games getting myself pregnant to try and trap Christian and get my hands on his money" I say, "but as she was having her rant Kate and Elliot came out and she recognised Elliot, and then Gideon recognised her as well and when he called her by her alias of Sybil Hanson she couldn't get out of here quick enough, I called Christian and told him what had happened and he came over, he and Gideon talked and compared notes and well..." I shrug

Grace looks at Gideon, "Did she abuse you too Gideon?" she asks

Gideon shakes his head, "No, but one of her cronies - Hugh did, he was part of the paedophile ring she was in, and when I reached out for help and told my mother, the paediatrician who examined me lied to my mother about the results because his wife was Hugh's sister" he says bitterly

Grace looks horrified, "who was this paediatrician Gideon?" she asks.

"Terry Lucas" Gideon spits

Grace looks like she is going to collapse, "Oh my god, no, I know him how could he?"

Gideon shrugs, there is an oppressive silence as Grace stares at Gideon for a moment and seems to be thinking things over, going over everything she has learnt in the past few moments, she suddenly looks up and fixes her gaze back on to Christian.

"Christian did she ever hit you or do any of these BDSM activities to you? She asks quietly, I see Christian go deathly white and he doesn't answer. He lowers his head and Grace gasps.

"Oh my god she did didn't she!?" she exclaims

"She told me I needed it, she told me it was for my own good" Christian says looking up into Grace's face pleading with her to believe him.

Grace stands and then comes over to Christian and kneeling in front of him she takes his face in her hands and holds his head to look straight into his eyes.

"Christian look at me, she abused you, she lied to you, do you see that?" Grace asks

Christian nods "I'm sorry" he whispers

"Don't you dare Christian Trevelyan Grey don't you dare say you are sorry, this is not your fault she is the one to blame for this, she did this to you, you were a child with issues and she took advantage of that, this is not your fault darling, thank you for finally telling us and letting us in, Christian snakes his arms around Graces waist and pulls her to him resting his head on her shoulder, Grace puts her arms gingerly on his shoulders, I see him freeze but Grace whispers lovingly into his ear and he gradually relaxes and begins to quietly sob, slowly she strokes her hand up and down his shoulder and he sobs even harder. Its a poignant moment, Christian is finally letting go of his past and I can't stop the tears from falling, I reach over and pat his knee and he looks up releasing Grace and he turns to me and pulls me to him holding me tightly.

"Thank you Ana" he says

When he releases me Grace pulls me into her arms, "Yes thank you Ana, with your help i have just held my son the way I have always wanted to for the first time, I have waited 24 years for him to let me hold him like that" she says, wiping the tears from her face.

Our attention is drawn to the door as Kate and Elliot appear, Kate looks around the room in surprise. Christian stands and looks at Elliot.

"What's happened?" Elliot asks, it is obvious he has never seen Christian this emotional before.

"Kate, would you mind giving us a moment with my brother?" Christian asks politely quickly pulling himself together. Kate looks at me, and then nods.

"Sure" she says and disappears down the corridor to her bedroom.

"What's going on?" Elliot asks

"Come and sit down darling" Grace says patting the seat next to her on the sofa she has just returned to.

Elliot sits down and Christian quickly outlines what they know about Elena/Sybil. Elliot's mouth drops open.

"Fuck...sorry mom, I always knew there was something about her that wasn't right, she came on to me when I was about 13/14 but I pushed her away and she backed right off" he says, he looks up at Christian who lowers his head, and I see realisation dawning on Elliot's face.

"Bro, oh shit bro, why the fuck didn't you say anything?!" Elliot exclaims, he stands and pulls Christian up and drags him by the arm towards him, and wraps his muscular arm around Christians shoulder. I am surprised that Christian lets him.

"What did she do to you bro?" he whispers nervously, Christian shakes his head.

"Not now" he says quietly in Elliot's ear, Elliot glances quickly at Grace and Carrick.

"Yeah ok" he says just as quietly.

Christian pulls away, "I'd appreciate it if you didn't discuss this with Mia or Kate for obvious reasons" he says, and Elliot nods.

"Whatever you say bro" Elliot agrees.

"Actually Christian, Kate would be a good ally to have" I put in, Christian turns and looks at me questioningly.

"Think about it a moment" I urge and grasp his hand "She is in the media, she has many contacts and sources available who could help dig for more dirt on Elena and help you and Gideon build your case against her, she would also be a powerful ally to expose Elena when the time comes" I say, I can almost see Gideon's mind working as he listens to what I am saying.

"Kate Kavanagh...as in Kavanagh Media?" he says

I nod, "Her father owns Kavanagh Media" I say.

Gideon looks at Christian, "Ana is a very smart woman" he turns back to me, "Can we trust Kate?" he asks.

"I'd trust her with my life" I say firmly.

Gideon looks at Christian his eyebrows raised and in turn Christian nods and turns to Elliot, without a word being spoken between the three men Elliot nods and goes to fetch Kate and soon she is sitting listening to a brief outline of the events of today. Christian doesn't mention anything about his past with Elena but what has been said makes Kate look horrified.

"Jeez Grey you do pick your friends" she says to Christian

Christian lowers his head again and Kate's mouth drops open, "Oh my god, she didn't?" she says.

"Kate" I warn

"Oh god Christian I am so sorry" she says, her eyes harden and she looks straight at Christian, "What can I do to help?" she says

Christian smiles, "We are not sure yet but Ana seems convinced you would have a role to play, I don't need to tell you that everything that you now know is totally off the record" he adds.

She looks at him clearly offended "I'm not stupid" she snaps

"Kate" I say again.

She sighs, "I'm sorry, of course I realise that, nothing will leave this room from me" she says firmly.

"Thank you Kate" Christian says with relief, he turns to Gideon, "We need to get the ball rolling I will call a meeting with Welch my security advisor and Taylor and get the ball rolling, Welch can start digging and see what he can find on her, you get your people doing the same, and we will meet and work out a plan of action, in the meantime it seems like she wants to antagonise Ana, so Ana you proceed with your plans for the move to New York, my number one priority is to keep you and my baby safe from her, and it is fortunate that you were planning this, Kate if you could start digging and finding out what you can in your media circle contacts, anything would be useful, details of stories of paedophile rings exposed, see if she was linked to any, there may be other aliases and with her BDSM contacts she managed to wriggle out of any arrest in New York so see if anything similar comes up anywhere else, New York may not have been her only haunt besides Seattle, as I say there may be other aliases so any potential similarities make a note of them to be investigated. It also might be an idea to visit some of the BDSM clubs and ask a few subtle questions about her, Elliot you could perhaps help Kate with that". Both Elliot and Kate nod, and Kate fetches a note book and pen from a drawer and starts making notes. Christian looks at Carrick, "Dad, I'll need you to help us put together an airtight case against her" he turns to Gideon, "Do you need my dad to help you?" he asks.

Gideon shakes his head, "Its too late for me, I was 13 years old the Statute of Limitations ran out a long while ago, I got my justice the day Hugh killed himself" he says.

"I also have a role to play" Grace says standing up, everyone looks at her, "I can ruin her business, a few well placed words in the right ears and her beauty salons will be out of business within a month" she says confidently, "she was tolerated by my social circle because of my friendship with her, and she has benefited greatly from it over the years, it seems only fitting I should be the one to take it away from her after what she has done to my son"

I see Christian smile, "Ok mom that can be your job, but give me a couple of days to remove myself from her businesses, I'll call my lawyers first thing tomorrow and gift the salons to her" he says

"Gift them?" I snort incredulously at him, wondering how he could do such a thing.

"Yes", he says patiently "that way they will be listed as her assets and if my mother succeeds in ruining those said assets Elena will be bankrupt as she doesn't have any other income, not any which she would want to declare anyway and then if ...no when she is exposed as a paedophile and BDSM whore you will see how quickly people will distance themselves from her, she'll be finished, it will be worth losing the money I invested in them" he says confidently.


	20. Chapter 20

CHAPTER 20

Two weeks later and I am at a rainy Sea Tac surrounded by my friends and family. One of Gideon's planes is waiting on the tarmac for me.

I hug Ray tightly, "Call me when you get there and make sure you keep yourself and my grandbaby safe" he says

"I will" I say.

I turn to Kate who is quietly crying, I wrap my arms around her, "Come on Kate stop that" I say, she smiles bravely through the tears.

"Call me too" she says

I nod, "I will, and just think of all the shopping you can do when you come and visit me" I say.

Kate laughs, "Ok I will" she says. She steps back and Elliot pulls me towards him.

"Take care Ana" he whispers in my ear and I smile at him.

Next is Grace and Carrick who both hug me and wish me luck, finally I turn to Christian who is standing looking his usual gorgeous impassive self. I walk into his arms and he holds me tightly, he kisses the top of my head gently.

"It goes without saying that you will call me as soon as you land" he says, I smile up at him and nod. He smiles back at me, "I will see you next weekend, I'm flying out to New York as I have some business I need to attend to and while I am in New York I am going to catch up with Gideon and find out the latest on what he has unearthed".

"Ok" I say, I squeeze him and he looks at me, I touch his face, "Keep talking to Flynn" I whisper, and he nods. This past fortnight has been wonderful, since the revelation and everything coming out into the open, Christian has been a different person, more open and forthcoming, he is working hard to accept the baby, and I even attended a session with him and Dr Flynn where we talked through his fears about fatherhood, Christian is in a good place at the moment and part of me doesn't want to leave him, ironically it is Christian now insisting that I go to New York, he is terrified that Elena will try something to harm me and the baby, and he wants us safe. I kiss him softly on the lips. "Be good" I whisper and he gives me a shy smile.

"Always" he whispers back to me. I pull away and turn around.

"Well I suppose I'd better go then", I say to everyone, as I turn to leave I see Taylor standing apart waiting for Christian by the SUV, I had said goodbye to Gail the day before, I leave Christian and walk over to Taylor.

"Miss Steele" he says stoically

I don't answer him but fling my arms around him, "Look after him and keep him safe" I whisper in his ear. He nods once but doesn't say anything, but as I move away he opens his mouth to speak.

"Miss Steele, when you arrive in New York, you will be met by Luke Sawyer, he with be your personal CPO for the duration of your time in New York, Mr Grey has liaised with Mr Cross on this matter and they both feel it is prudent to install Sawyer as indications are Mrs Lincoln may still have contacts in New York". I sigh but nod my acceptance.

"Thank you and good luck" Taylor says

"Thank you Taylor, for everything" i say and look at him meaningfully. With that I turn and return to Christian, "so this is it then, I'd better get going" I say brightly.

"What were you talking to Taylor about?" Christian asks

"My new CPO who I have waiting for me in New York courtesy of you and Gideon" I say with my eyebrows raised.

Christian has the grace to look embarrassed, "Oh yes, I forgot to mention that" he says.

I pat his cheek playfully, "Well never mind, I'll forgive you...this once" I say

I see his lips twitch as he suppresses his amusement. With that I turn and climb the steps of the plane, at the top I turn and wave to everyone and head inside.

When we land in New York, Gideon is waiting for me with a man standing beside him, I climb down the steps and Gideon hugs me and kisses my cheek gently.

"Hi, good flight?" he asks

I nod, "Yes thank you" I reply.

Gideon turns, "Ana this is Luke Sawyer, he was hand picked by Taylor for you" I turn to the young man standing next to Gideon.

"Hello Luke, how are you?" I say politely

He shakes hands with me, "Hello Ma'am I'm fine thank you" he says stiffly.

We climb into a waiting car and Gideon takes me to my apartment, there had been an almighty row over this, Gideon had found me an apartment in one of his apartment blocks and taken it on himself to pay my first months rent, I had gone ballistic when I found out, much to Christian's amusement and I had torn Gideon off a strip. To his credit he had taken my issues on board and consulted me when dealing with the furnishings and the cost and suppliers of them. Christian had also offered to help me out with the cost of furnishing my apartment, in the end I had accepted his help on the condition that it was a loan and I would pay him back.

When we arrive I gasp, it is huge and beautiful, I wonder how the hell I am going to afford the rent on this place in a prime Manhattan setting. As if Gideon reads my mind he whispers in my ear.

"Your salary as a fiction editor at Cross Publishing is more than adequate to pay for this place" he says. I wander around totally speechless. I remember I need to call everyone, I quickly send a text to Kate and Ray letting them know I have landed safely, and then I call Christian. He answers on the first ring.

"Ana" he says

"Hi, I'm here I'm safe and I have met Luke" I say

"Good, have you eaten?" he asks

I roll my eyes, "yes I had breakfast before I left Seattle and a snack on the plane" I say

I am eager to explore my surroundings, and so I quickly wrap up my call to Christian. Gideon gives me a swift kiss on the cheek.

"I need to go, I have a meeting in 20 minutes, if I don't go now I'll be late, settle in and you start tomorrow morning 9am sharp I'll meet you at the Crossfire ok" he says

I nod and smile, "Yep, I'll see you then" I say and with that he is gone, I suddenly feel very alone, as I stand by myself in the corridor of this huge apartment block. I hear a cough behind me and turn to see Luke waiting.

"Erm Miss Steele, can you point out which room will be mine?" he asks obviously embarrassed, i smile at him.

"Sure, and you know we are stuck with each other for the foreseeable so please call me Ana" I reply

Luke nods and follows me inside, I check out all the rooms and pick which one I prefer for me and then tell Luke to pick which ever of the remaining two he prefers as his, he smiles at me and immediately heads for the one immediately opposite mine.

I walk around still a little in awe of the fact this is actually my apartment. There is a buzzing sound and I follow it to a telephone mounted on the wall and pick it up.

"Hello" I say

"Miss Steele?" a disembodied voice asks

"Yes" I say uncertainly

"This Mike at the front desk, we have a delivery here for you, would you like to come and collect it or shall I send it up to your apartment?"

"Oh, I'll come down" I say immediately, "Thank you" I add quickly before I hang up.

"Luke" I call

He pokes his head out of his room, "yes" he says

"I'm just going down to the front desk, apparently there is a delivery for me" I say

He nods and follows me, I am a little surprised but i suppose considering he is my CPO he will be following me around.

I head downstairs and to the desk, "Hi, I'm Ana Steele, someone called Mike rang to say there was a delivery for me?" I ask

The young man behind the desk beams at me, "Yes Miss Steele, I'll just go and fetch it" I watch him walk over to a door and open it and return with a huge bouquet of flowers, I smile as I take them.

"Thank you" I say I take the card and read it, it doesn't surprise me to discover that they are from Christian, I shake my head and pulling my phone from my pocket I quickly text him.

**-Flowers arrived, they are beautiful, thank you Ax**

I return to my apartment and put them in water and I feel my phone vibrate, I look and its a response from Christian, I smile as I read it.

**-You are welcome, and I bet they are not as beautiful as you. C x**

I shake my head and push the phone back into my pocket. I decide I want to explore the neighbourhood and call Luke and explain my intentions he nods and grabs his jacket, as we head downstairs in silence I start to make conversation with him.

"So Luke how did you get this job?" I ask

"Taylor, he and I go way back he's an old military buddy of mine, he left the military and I stayed in until now of course, he heard I was out and looking for work and he called me"

"Do you have any family Luke?" I ask

He nods, "my mom lives in Chicago with my stepdad, and my sister lives here in New York with her husband, I don't know my dad, he left when I was a baby and my mom raised us alone, until she met Eric, so he is the only father I have known".

"Do you get along?" I ask

He shrugs, "Most of the time" he says

I smile, "I was raised by a step father, Ray is the only father I have ever known, my dad died the day after I was born, Ray is my rock" I say, I feel a surge of homesickness at the thought of Ray the other side of the country.

"Do you have any brothers or sisters Ana?" Luke asks. I shake my head.

"Nope, just me" I say.

Luke and I spend the afternoon exploring New York, I time my journey to the Crossfire where Cross Publishing is situated, and I check out local cafe's and supermarkets. I decide I'd like to take a walk back to the apartment through Central Park, and Luke and I set off through the trees.

"This is nice" I say absently

"It is" Luke agrees, as we emerge near the apartment block I see a man getting into a taxi and I freeze stopping dead. Luke sees this and is immediately on alert.

"What is it?" he asks immediately scanning the area.

"That man" I whisper, terror surging through me, I feel sick and I turn and vomit into a nearby waste bin.

Luke looks at me with concern, "Are you ok?" he asks I nod.

"Yes I just want to go home" I say.

He nods and we head back to the apartment. Luke disappears and moments later my phone rings. It's Christian.

"Ana are you alright?" I hear his anxious voice and I know Luke has informed Taylor of my reaction to the man I saw.

"I'm fine honestly" I say, "I just thought I saw someone I knew that's all and it took me by surprise"

"You're sure you're ok?" Christian persists

"Yes honestly I'm fine" I say

"Ok" he says satisfied I am telling him the truth.

"Please Christian don't do this every time you hear something" I say

"I know, Taylor just said Luke had called him that's all, he also said you had been ill, I was worried"

I smile and shake my head, "Well thank you for your concern, but you know I am pregnant, i will get ill from time to time, and you know my morning sickness has no sense of timing" I say gently.

"I know, call me later for a chat?" he asks

"Ok, I will" I say. I kill the call and go in search of Luke. I find him in the kitchen rummaging in the fridge.

"Luke, please don't get reporting every little thing to Taylor, he tells Christian and then Christian calls me in a panic, unless its code red or something just update him once a day, I don't want to be getting calls from Christian every time I sneeze!"

"Ok but level with me what got you so scared?" he asks

I sigh; he is here to protect me so I should keep him informed. "I saw a man, who looked like one of my mother's ex husbands" I say.

"How many has she had?" Luke asks

I snort, "She is on husband number 4" I say. His mouth drops open, but he quickly recovers as I continue, "I thought that man looked like husband number three, Stephen Morton, he was not a good person" I say.

"Did he hurt you?" Luke asks, I nod but don't say anything more. "You are afraid of him?", I nod again. "What did he do to you?" he asks.

I look up at him tears in my eyes and shake my head, "Bad things, he physically, verbally and sexually abused me" I say. I see Luke straighten up.

"I will need to tell Taylor this" he says

I shake my head, "I haven't seen Stephen Morton since I was 15, that guy was quite a way away, I can't be sure, he just reminded me of him, chances are I will never see him again, please don't worry Taylor with this, he has enough on his plate with this business with Elena" I say.

Luke looks torn in the end I make the decision for him, "I'll tell Taylor" I say firmly, "and I will tell him there is a very good chance I was mistaken and not to be concerned about it and tell him definitely not to tell Christian" I say.

Luke looks relieved and nods he also offers a small smile. I smile back as I pull my phone from my pocket and call Taylor.


	21. Chapter 21

CHAPTER 20

"Hi Taylor" I say brightly as he picks up my call.

"Miss Steele is everything ok?" he asks, I hear Christian's voice in the background and then a scuffling sound.

"Ana, what's wrong?" Christian's panicked voice comes to me.

"Christian, what the hell are you doing?" I say " I was calling Taylor not you, nothing is wrong, everything is fine, I need to speak to Taylor about something that's all so give him his damn phone back" I demand sharply

I hear more scuffling and then Taylor's voice comes to me over the line. "Miss Steele what can I do for you?" he asks evenly.

"Ok, am I on speaker because if I am take me off now please" I say

"You are not on speaker Miss Steele" Taylor replies

"But Christian is still there listening isn't he?" I say

"Yes" comes the response

Ok, well I am going to talk and tell you something and I don't want a huge thing made of this, as it's not worth it so please don't say anything to Christian, ok?" I say

"Ok" comes the clipped reply.

"Good, right first of all Luke and I have talked and unless something really, really bad happens he will update you once a day in the evening, because I don't want my every move reported back to Seattle and I definitely don't want Christian calling me twenty times an hour in a panic every time Luke tells you something, right the incident earlier, I saw someone I thought I recognised, but I can't be sure, so as I say I don't want to make a big deal out of it. I have told Luke who I thought it could have been, but it could quite easily have been an innocent man, I just can't be sure, so i don't want Christian to know because he will only freak out about it ok?" I say

"Ok, but tell me now" Taylor says.

I sigh "I thought I saw my mothers ex husband, Stephen Morton and it scared me for a moment, because he did bad things to me when I was a kid, I haven't seen him since I was 15 so I can't be sure that this man I saw was him and I really don't want Christian over reacting"

There is a silence then Taylor speaks again, "Ok, what sort of things" he says neutrally.

"He physically, verbally and sexually abused me" I say there is another silence.

"Ok thanks but..." he says

I know he is going to insist on telling Christian, so I interrupt him, "No, Taylor, he has enough on his plate at the moment, he doesn't need this, I'm not 100% sure and we both know that he _will_ over react, so you leave me no choice if you tell him, I won't co-operate with Luke" I feel bad threatening Taylor like this but I really don't want Christian worrying.

I hear Taylor sigh

"Christian is still there listening isn't he?" I ask

"Yes" he replies

"Ok promise me you won't tell Christian about this please Taylor, I mean it I won't co-operate if you tell him" I beg

"I won't, thanks for calling Miss Steele" he says stiffly

"Thank you Taylor, I'll let you go" I say gratefully

"Goodbye Miss Steele" Taylor replies and the line goes dead. I turn and see Luke standing watching.

"Well Taylor knows now, Christian was there so he couldn't say much" I say. Luke nods. Moments later my phone rings and its Christian.

"Are you sure everything is ok Ana?" he asks

I roll my eyes, "Yes Christian, honestly, I just arranged with Taylor that Luke will call him once a day in the evening to update him on the events of the day..."

"But" Christian interrupts

I raise my voice and talk over the interruption, "UNLESS, unless something really bad happens then obviously he will call straight way" I stop and wait for the explosion but it doesn't come.

"I'm not happy about that Ana" he says quietly, a little too quietly for my liking.

"Well live with it, because I don't want you calling me in a panic every time I pick my nose" I say firmly

I hear a snort of laughter, "Good point well made Miss Steele! " he says in a warmer tone. "What are your plans for the rest of the day? He asks

"Not sure, I am going to check out the hospital and make an appointment with the gynaecologist who Grace recommended and I need to go shopping and get some groceries" I say

"Well keep Luke close" Christian says

"i will, and will you stop worrying about me, I'm fine" I say

We end our call and I spend the rest of the day arranging my belongings around the apartment and then I go out and I head to the hospital to make an appointment with a doctor Grace recommended, apparently it is someone she trained with and while Grace went into paediatrics, this doctor went into gynaecology. To my surprise, I manage to secure a cancellation appointment in 20 minutes time so I sit and wait, Luke sits beside me.

"Sorry about this" I mutter

He looks at me in surprise, "Why, what about?" he asks

"This can't be the best job in the world, sitting around baby sitting me all day" I say.

He smiles at me, "That's for me to worry about not you" he says

I am called in and I meet a kind looking doctor she holds her hand out to me. "Miss Steele good to meet you I'm Dr Harris" I smile and relax immediately.

"So what can I do for you today?" she asks

"Well Dr Grace Trevelyan-Grey recommended you, I have just moved to New York from Seattle and I am pregnant" I say

"Oh" Dr Harris says

"Have you had confirmation of the pregnancy or had any examinations in Seattle?" she asks

I shake my head.

"Ok then well first things first we need confirmation, she hands me a small pot and points to the bathroom I go and pee in the pot and return, she puts a small stick in and it turns blue.

"Well you are definitely pregnant, lets give you a scan and see how far along you are" we move into another room and she asks me questions about my period and birth control.

"Does dad want to come in and see the scan?" she asks

I look at her blankly and then remember Luke in the waiting room, I shake my head.

"He's not the father, he is just a friend of mine who gave me a lift here" I say

"Oh I see, is the father involved?" she asks

I nod my head and smile, "Yes he lives in Seattle but he is involved" I say.

"So tell me how do you know Grace?" Dr Harris asks.

I take a deep breath, "She is going to be my baby's grandmother" I say, Dr Harris nearly drops the ultra sound wand in surprise.

"So you must be Elliot's girlfriend?" she says.

I shake my head, "No I'm Christian's" I say, smiling at the thought.

Dr Harris stares at me in disbelief, I feel a pang of loneliness and I want nothing more for Christian to be here with me so I decide to do the next best thing, I want Christian involved in this and so I call him.

"Ana are you ok?" he asks as soon as he answers

"Hi Christian, I'm fine. Listen, do you have a few moments if so put me on Facetime, I'm at the hospital about to have my first scan" I say

"Wait a moment" he says and I hear him speak to someone, I immediately feel guilty for disturbing his day.

"You weren't in the middle of something important were you? I ask

"Nothing is more important than you and our baby" he says warmly and I feel my heart leap at those words, he is really coming around to the idea. There is silence for a moment then I hear his voice again, "Ok" he says and we set up the Facetime, moments later his face appears on the screen of my phone.

I smile as I see him, "Hi" I say

"Hi baby" he replies

I turn the screen to face Dr Harris "Christian this is Dr Harris, Grace gave me her name" I say

I hear Christian say hello to Dr Harris, I turn the phone back to me. "Why are you having a scan now is everything ok?" he asks

I smile at him reassuringly, "yes I came to make an appointment like I told you and they managed to get me in today on a cancellation so I took it" I say.

Dr Harris inserts a wand inside me and moves it around, I glance up at the screen and I don't see anything. I turn the phone to face the screen.

"Can you see it Christian?" I ask

"Yes" he replies

Dr Harris points to the screen, "Do you see this area here that is the amniotic sack and that little blip there in the centre is your baby, I would estimate that you are approximately 6/7 weeks pregnant so very early days" she smiles at the phone screen and then at me.

"Ana" I hear Christian's voice and I turn the screen to face me and I see he has tears in his eyes. "Make sure you get me a photograph" he says, his voice tight with emotion and I nod.

"Of course I will" I say.

"Listen baby, I have to go now, I'm needed in a meeting" he says, "Thank you for including me" he adds.

I smile at him, "I would never knowingly exclude you Christian, this is your baby as much as mine" I say. He smiles at me and for the first time I see wonder on his face rather than sheer panic.

"I'll talk to you later baby" he says, "don't forget my picture" he adds.

"I won't ...Erm, Christian" I say

"Yes" he replies

"I love you" I say. I see his eyes widen and he takes a sharp breath in and then he looks straight at me.

"I ...I love you too" he whispers.

I feel the tears starting to prick against my eye lids, "I'll let you get on with your work" I say blinking furiously to stop the tears from falling.

We end the call and I realise that I am alone; Dr Harris had discreetly left the room when I was talking to Christian. I quickly put myself straight and head back into the other room.

"Sorry about that" I say in embarrassment

Dr Harris smiles at me, "No need to apologise dear, its nice to see two young people so in love" she says.

She hands me a pile of paperwork, leaflets and vitamins and then on the top are two copies of the precious ultrasound, I immediately take a photo of one and send it to Christian's phone, and then carefully put the pictures in my purse to give to Christian when I see him next.

I go to the desk to pay for my consultation, and am shocked when the girl tells me there is nothing to pay, as I have never had any real health insurance before I am confused and question this.

She taps on the screen and reads the information.

"You have the top level health insurance in place, which covers...well, everything, and it was set up two weeks ago in Seattle, by a Mr C Grey" she says and looks at me questioningly.

I smile at her, "I'm sorry, I didn't realise he'd done that" I say as i put my card back into my purse.

"Not a problem, have a nice day" she says

"Thank you" I reply and turn to leave, Luke is waiting for me and we leave the hospital.

"Everything ok Ana?" he asks

"Yes it is" I say, I pull out the picture and show him, pointing out the tiny blip on the screen; he stares at it and shakes his head.

"Hard to believe that will turn into a human being" he says.

After stopping off for some groceries, we head back to the apartment. I have just put everything away when there is a knock at my apartment door. I stand to go and answer it and Luke rises and holds me back, he goes to the door and answers it, immediately stepping aside to let the person outside come in.

I watch as Gideon strides in beaming at me. "Ana, how are you?" he asks

"I'm good thank you, all settled in, been shopping, explored the local area and been to the hospital and had my first scan" I say.

"Really?" he asks, "Did you get a picture?" he adds.

I nod and rummage once more for the picture and show him my little blip. He stares at the picture, "That's amazing!" he says marvelling at it.

"It is, and thanks to modern technology Christian was right there with me" I say

Gideon raises his eyebrows in question at me.

I nod, "yes, I called him and put him on Facetime, so he saw everything I saw" I say.

"You really love him don't you?" Gideon says quietly

I nod, "yes I do" I admit, I look carefully at Gideon and wonder if this will affect our friendship. He stares at me for a moment, and then pulls me into his arms.

"Don't worry I can live with just being friends with you, you are a wonderful woman and I would be stupid to try for more and spoil what we have".

I look up at him, "Gideon, you are a good man, and out there, someone is waiting for you, I believe there is someone for everyone in this world, but I also believe Christian is my soul mate there is something special there which I can't describe, even when he is pissing me off and behaving like an asshole that something is still there between us, I didn't realise it at the time, but now we have put the distance between us I know it straight away, and you will find that one day when you least expect it" I say

Gideon smiles "if you say so" he says sadly, then shaking off the sadness he looks at me "Ready for tomorrow?" he asks brightly

I nod, "I am, I'm quite nervous but excited too" I say.

"Well, I was hoping I could take you out to dinner and discuss what your role would be and who you will be working with and what my expectations are?" he asks

"Sure" I reply, I glance at Luke and he nods.

"Let's go then" Gideon says and gestures towards the door.

"But I'm not dressed for dinner" I say

"You look beautiful" he replies, and with that we leave my apartment.


	22. Chapter 22

CHAPTER 22

The next morning I head for the Crossfire accompanied by Luke and I am feeling very nervous, Luke drops me off and goes to park the car, as I enter the Crossfire I see Gideon standing talking to a security guard, he looks my way and smiles widely.

"Ana" he says and presses a kiss to my cheek

"Good morning Gideon" I say

Gideon introduces me to the security guard and he gives me my security badge which he tells me I will need to produce to get through the turnstile in front of us near the elevator. I nod my understanding and thank him.

Gideon leads me to the elevator and we wait for the doors to open, when a car finally does arrive Gideon pulls a key from his pocket and pushes it into the panel. Immediately all the lights on the panel go out apart from the very top floor.

"One of the perks of owning the building" he says with a smile.

When the doors open we are in a foyer with huge security doors and the words Cross Industries jump at me.

"Wow" I mutter, Gideon places his hand at the bottom of my back and guides me towards the doors, he is buzzed in and he escorts me down a corridor. We turn left and I see a second reception area with an equally grand sign behind the desk saying Cross (New York) Publishing. The girl behind the desk looks up and beams at Gideon and then at me.

"Good morning Sir" she says, and then she addresses me, "Good morning, you must be Ana Steele" she says kindly.

"I am yes" I say nervously

"Ana, this is Maxine, anything you want to know about Cross Publishing she is the person to ask, nothing gets past Maxine" Gideon says.

Moments later a tall grey haired man appears and Gideon greets him warmly. "Andrew, good morning, this is Ana who I told you about" he says as he pulls me forward.

"Pleased to meet you Ana" Andrew says kindly and holds out his hand to me

"Likewise" I say politely as I accept the handshake.

"Ana, Andrew is who you will be replacing when he retires in a couple of months time, in the mean time he is going to mentor you and bring you up to speed with how we do things here at CP. I'm sure you will soon fall into the way we do it, it cant be that different from SIP - just on a much bigger scale"

I nod my understanding.

"Ok Ana if you want to follow me we'll get you settled in your office and we can make a start" Andrew says.

"Ok then," I take a deep breath, and turn to Gideon, "Thank you Gideon" I say and he smiles at me.

"You are more than welcome, I'll pop by at lunchtime and see how you are getting on" he says

"Ok" I say and with that he kisses me swiftly and then turns and is gone.

"Ok Andrew, lead the way" I say brightly.

My morning goes quickly and I am kept busy, really busy, Gideon was right it is pretty much the same as SIP just bigger, I am one of four fiction editors, besides me is Andrew of course but I don't count him, then there is Paul, Damien and Karen, they all seem friendly enough, but I am getting some strange vibes from Damien, which are setting off my internal alarms.

Andrew puts me with each of the editors to learn the system and how things are done, and when I am with Karen I venture to ask a question. "Erm Karen, Gideon told me that there were two editors who were retiring within the next six months when he offered me this job, but Paul and Damien and you of course don't seem old enough to be retiring?" I stop.

Karen laughs, "No, that would be Norma he was talking about, no she was due to retire first, but they ended up carrying her out in a box last Friday, bless her"

"Oh I'm sorry" I say shocked.

Karen shakes her head, "No don't be, it was sad she should go that way don't get me wrong, but she was an evil cow, nobody liked her, in fact we were all shocked she died of a heart attack as we were all convinced she didn't have a heart"

"Oh" I say not knowing quite what to say to that.

"Andrew on the other hand is a complete sweetheart, everyone will miss him when he leaves" she adds

"Has Norma been replaced?" I ask

Karen nods, "Yes someone internally has been promoted to take her authors, that's the way it's normally done, we were all surprised when his lordship said he was bringing in someone new, but from what I have seen this morning you are pretty sharp so I guess he knew what he was doing when he hired you, Norma's replacement should be up on the editors floor within the next couple of weeks."

I don't say anything else I just pay attention to what I am being shown.

I carry on working until I hear someone speak my name; I look up and see Gideon standing behind me.

"How are you getting on?" he asks

"Fine, they are letting me loose on some manuscripts this afternoon" I say with a grin.

"Are you ready for some lunch?" Gideon asks

"Sure" I reply, "Just give me a second to finish this" I say and return to the title I am inputting on to the system, I hit the enter key and then log off. "There done" I say with a satisfied sigh, I grab my purse and stand up, as I do so I go a little dizzy and Gideon grabs my arm.

"Are you alright?" he asks, I nod

"Yes this seems to be happening regularly recently, one of the side effect of this" I say touching my stomach.

Gideon heads me out of the office and down the corridor to where he turns down another corridor in front of me I see numerous cubicles and as we walk past people stare, we turn a corner and I see a young man who stands as soon as he sees Gideon.

"Ana this is Scott my assistant, if you call my office number it will be Scott you are put through to, Scott this is Ana Steele she has joined us from Seattle independent Publishers, she will be taking Andrew's place when he retires" Scott beams at me and holds out his hand to me.

"Pleased to meet you Miss Steele" he says politely

"Hi please call me Ana" I say.

Gideon gestures towards a huge glass walled office, "Hold my calls Scott, unless Christian Grey calls I am expecting him to call at some point today, if he does put him through, but no-one else" he says

"Yes Sir" Scott replies

I walk into Gideon's office and gasp at the sheer scale of it, I thought Christian's office was big but this is something else. Gideon presses a button on his desk and the glass wall separating him from the rest of the office is immediately frosted.

"Sit down Ana, I have some lunch for us" he says pointing to a catered buffet.

We sit and talk, I tell him about my morning and how I am enjoying what I am doing. Suddenly Gideon puts down his plate and looks at me seriously.

"Ana, I had a phone call last night" he says

"Oh" I say

"From Taylor" Gideon says carefully

"Really, what about?" I ask although I have a really good idea what it was about.

"About the fact you were out in New York yesterday and you froze in fear when you thought you saw your mothers ex husband" he says gently

I shake my head, "I told Taylor not to say anything" I say.

Gideon smiles, "Correction, you told Taylor not to tell Christian, because you didn't want to worry him in case you were mistaken, Taylor told me because he was worried and felt as I was on the spot here in New York I would be best placed to handle anything, should it develop further, don't worry he didn't tell me why you were so afraid, he was very discreet, but after our little group sharing session of our pasts a couple of weeks ago, I realised who it was he was referring to".

I nod, "I could have been mistaken, its been years since..." I begin, but Gideon puts his hand on mine.

"Ana, I'm not going to lie to you, you weren't mistaken, Stephen Morton now lives in New York" he says.

I begin to feel like my throat is closing up and I start to hyperventilate, and tears ooze from my eyes, immediately Gideon sits beside me and wraps his arms around me.

"Hey come on, you have Luke and you have me and Christian and with our combined resources there is no way on earth Stephen Morton is going to get anywhere near you, let alone have the opportunity to hurt you" he says.

I feel myself calming at his words and I nod. "I'm sorry" I say quietly

"Not at all, I go cold every time Hugh is mentioned and he can't hurt me any more, unless he comes back as a zombie" he says trying to lighten the atmosphere.

It works and I snort with laughter at his ridiculous comment.

"That's better" he says.

"Gideon, can I ask you something?" I say carefully

"Sure" he replies

"Why did Hugh commit suicide, was it when the paedophile ring was exposed?" I ask

Gideon sighs, "Sort of, I pursued him and as soon as i was in a position to do something, I discovered the statute of limitations had run out for me, so I confronted Hugh and told him if he ever laid a hand on another child I'd set up an unlimited fund to fight for justice on their behalf, and it was during my pursuit of him that I discovered the paedophile ring and gathered information and sent it to the police, they smashed it, unfortunately Sybil got away scot free with her connections from the BDSM world, Hugh committed suicide to avoid getting caught and there were 5 others and three of those committed suicide rather than face jail time, the other two were convicted and are in prison as we speak.

We are disturbed by the phone ringing. Gideon stands and answers it with a curt greeting. "Cross" he barks. He smiles and looks at me, "Put him though thank you Scott" he says. He waits and then presses the speaker button.

"Christian good to hear from you" he says in a much warmer tone.

"You too" Christian replies, I feel my breath catch at the sound of Christian's voice, I stand walk over to the phone.

"Hi Christian" I say

"Ana is that you?" I hear the excitement in Christian's voice as he says this

"Yes how are you?" I say

"I'm good, how are you baby, have you eaten?" he says

I roll my eyes, "Christian please, yes I'm eating now, you have disturbed me I'm having lunch with Gideon in his office" I say with a giggle.

"What are you doing there?" I hear Christian's tone has turned arctic

I sigh, "Christian please" I say, "we are having lunch its totally innocent and we are discussing how the fact finding is going to bring down that Bitch Troll"

Gideon snorts with laughter and raises his eye brows at my nickname for Elena.

"I'm sorry baby" Christian says remorsefully, "that's actually why I am calling, Kate has found some interesting information on ..._the Bitch Troll_ she has been researching any paedophile rings that have been discovered and smashed around the United States and she has found one in New Orleans in the late 1980's early 1990's and one of the people involved was called Sandra Garner, but she escaped arrest and soon afterwards disappeared, and also in Chicago, again a woman escaped prosecution and disappeared from the area shortly afterwards but she was called Elaine Illsley, so I have Welch digging to find out if these women were all the same person, namely Elena".

"Christian, was Chicago after New Orleans or before?" I ask

"After why?" he replies

"Nothing, just a small thing, if they all are her, then there is a pattern, in New Orleans she was called Sandra, she moved to New York and called herself Sybil, they both begin with an S then Chicago she changed and went for Elaine and then Seattle Elena which is only a slight variation on Elaine, but both begin with an E and the surnames, do you know what her maiden name was before she married Linc?" I ask

There is a silence and Christian replies "it was James, or so my mother said"

"Bingo" I say triumphantly, "**G**arner **H**anson, **I**llsley, **J**ames, the letters are sequential in the alphabet she had no choice with her married name when she married Linc, so my bet is there are more before the Sandra Garner incarnation, and they are all the same person"

There is another silence and Gideon is staring at me, I blush slightly, and return my attention back to Christian, "Are you still there Christian?" I ask

"I am, you are so smart Ana, I would never have noticed that small detail but it makes a hell of a lot of sense, I'll pass that on to Welch, do you have anything to report Gideon"

Gideon clears his throat, "actually yes I do, and in light of what Ana has just said I think we are on to something, in the early 1980's we have discovered two cases of complaints against a female in Texas one in Dallas and one in Austin, the charges were dropped in both cases, the first was a woman called Helen Ellis and the second was Heather Fisher, but there is something else, Helen Ellis was known to the authorities, she had been removed from her parents due to sexual abuse from her stepfather and step brother" he pauses and looks directly at me, "her step father's surname was Morton and her step brother's name was Stephen Morton, so I am guessing Helen Ellis is her real name, if they all are the same person" I feel my legs give way, Gideon strides towards me and grabs me before I fall".

"Ana sit down before you fall" Gideon says sharply, unfortunately Christian hears him too.

"SHIT! Ana, Ana baby are you there are you alright" I hear Christian say anxiously

"I...I'm here, I'm fine" I manage to get out, but I am far from fine, I clap my hand over my mouth, Gideon leads me to a side door in far corner of his office which turns out to be a private bathroom, I rush in and vomit into the sink. Gideon rubs my back and then leads me back out and helps me sit, he hands me some water.

"Ok?" he asks

I nod

"What's going on?" I hear Christian say

"I'm ok Christian, sorry I've just been sick again" I say

Gideon stands and looks at me apologetically, "I'm sorry Ana but he needs to know" he says, he grabs the receiver and starts to speak. "Christian, its Gideon, you are no longer on speaker, I have recently discovered that Stephen Morton is living in New York...yes ...she does, she saw him,...wait...listen to me...she didn't want to worry you with it as she wasn't sure it was him, ...and this is exactly why she didn't want to tell you, because the way you are currently over reacting is everything she wanted to avoid, GOD DAMN IT MAN BECAUSE SHE FUCKING LOVES YOU!" He stops and closes his eyes, and holds out the phone to me, "he wants to talk to you" he says.

"Ana, baby, you saw Morton?" Christian says

"I did, yes" I admit

"Oh baby, I'm so sorry, you should be able to come to me with anything and you were too scared to because of how you thought I'd react, I've let you down again I'm sorry" he says.

I close my eyes, "Christian, listen to me, I didn't want to add to everything going on, plus I wasn't sure, I just didn't want to cause a fuss" I say lamely.

"Well if all this information pans out its a good job I do know now, I have to say its quite unbelievable how this is all linked, you couldn't make this stuff up, talk about small fucking world!" he says

I decide to totally come clean, "Christian, Luke knew, and please don't fire him or anything, and I also told Taylor, I begged him not to worry you with it, I practically blackmailed him to keep it from you so please don't blame him" I say.

I hear Christian sigh, "No more secrets do you hear me?" he says firmly

"Yes" I reply

"Promise me Ana" he says

"I promise, but I only did it because I love you" I say

"I know baby, and I love you too and believe me that is your saving grace because at this minute I am so close to flying out to New York and taking you across my knee".

I smile at this comment. "I have to go Christian" I say as I see the time

"Ok baby, I love you and I'll talk to you tonight, bye for now" he says

"Bye" I say, I hand the phone back to Gideon.

"Christian I'll get my people to look into these new leads and I'll update you on what we unearth, ...yes I will ...goodbye" he replaces the handset and looks at me.

"He wants you to eat before you go back to work and so do I" Gideon says with a smirk and he points to the food. I roll my eyes and go and eat something before I head back to work


	23. Chapter 23

CHAPTER 23

My head is spinning with information as I head back to work, but I focus on the tasks ahead of me to get through the afternoon.

By the time the end of the day arrives, I have made notes on 5 manuscripts and Andrew seems surprised by my findings.

"You have a good eye and instinct for a good story, they were manuscripts of authors who were subsequently taken on by CP and you have made some interesting findings on them and seen angles which I missed, I am very impressed". He says.

I smile at him, "well do I pass then?" I say brightly

"Definitely, you will be put on live projects first thing in the morning, I am astounded how quickly you have picked all this up you are an incredibly intelligent woman" he says.

"Thank you" I reply

"Ana" I look around and see Luke waiting.

"Hi Luke, what is it?" I ask

"Could I speak to you privately" he says

"Sure, just let me finish up here" I say frowning at his grim expression.

"I think we are all done here Ana, I'll see you in the morning" Andrew replies

"Ok, thank you Andrew, I'll see you in the morning" I say. I quickly shut down my computer and grab my purse, I turn to Luke, "Ok what's up?" I ask

Luke moves closer, "Mr Cross has just called me and asked that I accompany you to his office, he has some information".

I nod and leave quickly with Luke heading towards Gideon's office. Scott has gone home and when I approach I see Gideon pacing around his office talking on the phone, he glances up and sees me and beckons me in.

"She's here now, do you want to tell her yourself?" he says to whoever is on the other end of the line. A moment later he presses the speaker button on the phone and throws the Bluetooth device in his ear on the table.

"Miss Steele are you there?" Taylor's voice comes to me

"Hi Taylor" I say nervously

"I was just telling Mr Cross, your hunch on the name pattern was correct, Helen Ellis, Heather Fisher, Sandra Garner, Sybil Hanson, Elaine Illsley and Elena Lincoln (nee. James) are all one and the same person and her real name is indeed Helen Ellis she was born in Texas and Stephen Morton was her stepbrother".

"Shit" I say and I sit down. Gideon is watching me closely.

"So that being said, we looked into Stephen Morton and he has had constant contact with his step sister over the years, which you wouldn't normally expect in the case of abuse, so we are working on the theory that their relationship was consensual but was treated as abusive because of her age at the time, and because the step father also abused her" Taylor adds.

I am reeling partly from the fact I was right and partly the connection between the man who abused me has a connection to the woman who abused the man I love and the fact nobody could have ever predicted that.

"So what happens now" I ask

"Mr Cross is putting in place extra security to tail Morton and to assist Luke in your protection, they will be liaising directly with Mr Cross and Mr Grey" Taylor says

"I see, where is Christian now?" I ask, I have the sudden need to talk to him.

"He is in a meeting at the moment, he wanted to tell you himself as soon as we discovered the link, but he couldn't put off this meeting so he asked me to do it, he said he would call you personally as soon as he became free though" Taylor says.

"Ok" I say.

Gideon and Taylor wrap up the call and Gideon walks around his desk and looks closely at me.

"Are you ok?" he asks

I nod, "I'm just...I can't believe the link, it's weird don't you think it's weird?" I say

Gideon smiles and nods, "It is, as Christian said earlier you couldn't make it up, we are all linked to one another, your step father was linked to Sybil, Elena what ever the hell her name is and she was linked to Hugh who was linked to me and she was also linked to Christian who is linked to you, it sounds almost like fate" he says.

I shake my head, "if it is, then it is also obviously fate and our destiny to bring that bitch down once and for all!" I say viciously.

Gideon smirks and nods, "I couldn't have put it better myself!" he says.

"Ok is there anything else you want to discuss?" I ask Gideon shakes his head, "right, I am going home now, do you still have stuff to do?" I ask Gideon

He sighs and nods, "Yes I do, I have a couple of conference calls I need to sit in on, and a few things I need to finish off before I leave, but I'll walk you down with Luke" he says

We walk to the elevator and head down, I feel so safe flanked by these two tall strong men, Luke is built like a Gorilla he is well over six foot and very broad with a body covered in slabs of muscle and he has a no nonsense look about him, the same look I have seen on Taylor's face it must come with the military training as I am familiar with that very look on Ray's face as well. We go through the turnstile and I walk outside and come face to face with Stephen Morton, he looks at me in surprise, shock and then an evil smirk or recognition crosses his face, I stumble backwards in shock freezing at the sight of him, Luke reacts immediately and drags me back inside and I vaguely register Gideon barking orders into his phone, Luke takes me in into the security office just inside and slams the door, he pulls his phone out and calls Taylor outlining what just happened, he has hardly finished speaking when my phone rings.

"Are you alright baby what did he do?" Christian almost shouts down the phone at me.

"Calm down Christian I'm fine, I literally just walked into him outside, and he recognised me, but Luke got me back inside and Gideon called someone, I'm not sure who and Luke just called Taylor, everything is under control, I am fine I'm unhurt and I haven't even been sick, so its all good" I say.

"Ok" he says satisfied that I am obviously not in any immediate danger, "I have literally just finished my meeting, Taylor told you about the link between Morton and Elena?" he adds

"Yes it's unbelievable" I say.

"That it is, what are you doing now Ana?" Christian asks.

"I don't know, sit here in the security office at the Crossfire until Gideon or Luke tell me its safe to go out I suppose" I say.

I hear Christian chuckle, "Well Miss Steele I never thought I'd see the day where you would do as you were told!"

"Shut up Grey" I say rudely, trying and failing to hide the amusement in my voice.

I hear Christian laugh loudly, and I love that sound, he laughs so rarely. I look up to see Luke hovering, "hang on Christian" I say, "What's up Luke?" I ask

"Its clear for you to leave the Crossfire" he says

"Thanks Luke, Christian Luke just said its ok for me to go now, so I am going home, and I am going to have a nice long soak in the bath and curl up with a book so I'll talk to you tomorrow ok?" I say

"You will" Christian replies firmly, "put Luke on will you" he adds.

"Luke!" I say he turns and looks as I hold out my phone to him. "Christian wants to talk to you" I say.

Luke nods and takes the phone from me, "Sir" he says politely, "Yes sir, no...yes...I removed Miss Steele immediately and Mr Cross called in his back up team to sweep the area... the perp got away, but we couldn't detain him as he didn't actually do anything...yes...yes...I will sir...yes sir, I understand...yes sir, goodbye sir" he hangs up and hands me back my phone.

"Thank you Luke, come on lets go home" I say I feel suddenly very tired.

I have just got out of the bath and am getting into my pyjamas when I hear my cell phone ringing, I groan, quickly dress and go in search of it, I see it and answer it not looking at the screen.

"Hello" I say

"Hello Anastasia, what a surprise to see you in New York, I will have to look you up you always did give the best blow jobs".

I drop the phone and my legs give way I fall to the floor sobbing hysterically. Luke rushes in and takes in the situation, he picks up the phone and puts it to his ear.

"They're gone, who was it Ana?" he asks sharply

"Him" I mutter through the tears, "how...how did he get my number?" I sob

"I don't know" Luke replies, he pulls out his own phone and calls Taylor.

"T we have a situation, Morton has just called Ana on her cell...yes" he glances at me and turns and leaves the room, still talking to Taylor. He is gone for what seems like an eternity, I just sit curled up on the floor with my knees drawn up to my chest". Eventually there is a knock at the bedroom door.

"Come in" I say, the door opens and to my astonishment Gideon strides in and crouches in front of me.

"Ana are you alright?" he asks

I nod but don't say anything, I see he is holding his phone in his hand he puts it up to his ear, "Christian, I'm here with her now...yes, hang on" he hands his phone to me with a smile.

"Christian" I gasp and fresh tears fall down my cheeks

"Its ok baby its ok, he won't hurt you I promise you I won't let him hurt you" Christian says

"Ok" I say, I sniff and wipe my nose with my hand in a most unladylike manner, Gideon reaches into his pocket and hands me a handkerchief. I blow my nose and pull myself together; I refuse to be the victim I was when I was 15 years old.

"Ana listen to me, we are working on getting a restraining order put in place ok?" Christian says

"Ok thank you" I say

"Oh baby I should be there with you" Christian moans

"I'm ok, it was a shock that's all, the things he said, it was horrible" I say

"What did he say to you?" he asks

"He said it was a surprise to see me, he said he would look me up because I ...I...always gave the best blow jobs" I close my eyes, I feel Gideon wrap his arm around me.

"Baby can you put Gideon on" Christian says, his tone is icy and I know he is trying to control his temper, I look up at Gideon and offer him his phone back, he takes it from me, he has a grim expression on his face as he takes it from me.

"Christian, yes I heard...I totally agree, no...yes ...right I'll get right on it, you have my word, Goodbye" he hands his phone back to me.

"Christian?" I say

"I have to go now baby, you get some rest, Gideon is going to sort out the restraining order and he is going to stay with you tonight until you go to sleep, ok".

My mouth drops open at this, I am wondering if this is the same Christian Grey with out of control jealousy? "Erm who are you and what have you done with Christian Grey?" I say, I hear Christian laugh.

"Yes I suppose it was a little bit unexpected to hear something like that from me, but I don't want you to be alone".

"Erm, yeah sure, he doesn't need to though, Luke is here" I say

"No he's not, he's out with Cross's security team tracking down Morton" Christian says darkly.

"Oh I see" I say

"Yeah well I really have to go now, don't worry baby ok" he says

"I won't, goodnight Christian" I say

"Goodnight baby" he replies.

I hand Gideon his phone back and he smiles as he pushes it into his pocket.

"So you are stuck with me tonight" he says

I smile at him, "Oh no that's a bit of blow, stuck with Gideon Cross" I say shaking my head theatrically

His mouth drops open, and he bursts out laughing. We spend the evening watching TV I make some supper for us and I tell him about my day.

"Gideon, where did Damien come from?" I ask suddenly as I remember the uneasy feeling he gave me.

"Erm, I'm not sure off hand, he hasn't been on the editors floor for that long he was promoted when Gus left, I think he was one of Gus's assistants, why?" he asks

"Do you have a say who gets employed at CP?" I ask, ignoring Gideon's question

"Only the higher pay grade positions, assistants and general admin staff are recruited by the relevant department management along with Human Resources, I have a say with the editors and management level, why has someone said something to you?" he asks

"No I just wondered" I say brightly, I don't say any more as I don't want to go bad mouthing one of Gideon's staff on my first day.

Gideon frowns at me, "Are you sure, someone hasn't said anything have they?" he pushes, I quickly think of a plausible answer.

"No, its just Karen mentioned that you normally recruit from within, by promotion and I wondered who was responsible for the decisions, that's all" I say

"But why Damien in particular?" Gideon asks

I hastily try and think of an excuse, "Erm because he seems so young to have the position of editor" I say and immediately regret it considering I am fresh out of college and have been landed a editors job.

Gideon laughs again, "Ana you are also very young, and I chose you personally for your role within Cross Publishing, and yes I had a say in Damien's recruitment as editor" I leave it there I don't want to push it any further, suddenly I yawn loudly.

"Come on to bed" Gideon says getting up, I go and clamber into bed and Gideon settles himself in the chair beside the bed. "I'll go home as soon as Luke comes in" he says.

I nod, I feel my eye lids drooping, I yawn again and I feel myself falling asleep.


	24. Chapter 24

CHAPTER 24

I open my eyes and I realise it is morning, as the sunlight is streaming through the window, I feel a prickling sensation down the back of my neck I sit up and as I look over towards the door I see him.

"CHRISTIAN!" I squeal,

"Hi" he says and gives me his 100% full HD mega watt smile.

I leap out of bed and fling myself at him, he is sitting in the chair Gideon sat in last night, he barely has time to stand and catch me in his arms.

"I'm here baby, I'm here" he mutters kissing me repeatedly he sits back down and pulls me into his lap, I snuggle close, and he burrows his nose into my hair and inhales deeply.

I cling to him and I feel tears starting to form, I blink furiously I don't want to spoil this moment.

"You came" I say, looking up at him

"Do you seriously think I would leave you alone with that manic on the loose?" he says

"What about your work?" I say

"How many times do I have to tell you, you are the most important thing in my life" he pauses and then gently puts his hand on my stomach, "You and our baby" he says quietly.

That small comment and gesture floors me completely and I burst into tears, and cling to him.

I am speechless, I don't know what to say or do, I am so happy that Christian is here with me, I hold him scared that I will wake up in a moment and it will all have been a dream and I will be alone here again.

It suddenly occurs to me that I am touching him, his chest and his back and he hasn't flinched once, I pull away and look up at him.

"You are tolerating my touch" I say

He smiles at me and nods, "I've been working with Flynn, since I hugged mom I have been desperate for your touch, he gave me some exercises to work on to stop me reacting negatively and I've been practicing for this moment" he says.

"I'm so proud of you Christian" I say sincerely and I touch his face, leaning towards him I kiss him softly on the lips, his reaction is immediate, he grabs me and crushes his lips against mine, his arms go tightly around me and he stands with me in his arms and he carries me back to the bed, lying me me down and settling himself on top of me, his hands roam restlessly all over my body and I gasp as he finally releases my lips, we are both panting, partly from the kiss and partly with the passion that is consuming us, I want him here and now.

"Oh god I want you" I moan, he doesn't need telling twice, his hands move up underneath my pyjamas top and find my breast, he pushes up the top and his mouth finds my nipple and he gently pulls on it with his teeth, I gasp in surprise and my hands start to explore his body, as they move lower I feel his erection and I smile. We stare at each other and in wordless communication I start to unbutton his shirt and remove it, I can't believe he is letting me do this. I make my moves slow and deliberate so he knows what my intention is, and I see his breathing becoming more and more laboured.

"Do you want me to stop?" I ask watching him carefully for any sign of panic

"No" he replies, he grabs my hand and places it on his chest over his heart, and for the second time this morning he floors me.

Carefully and slowly we undress each other and as I look at his body with greedy eyes, he does the exact same thing to me. Before we know what has happened he is on top of me and thrusting deep inside me I moan with every thrust he makes and he moves slowly and deliberately and yet oh so gently, he is making love to me, slow, passionate, beautiful love.

We shower together and he makes love to me again, in the shower, he can't keep his hands off me, he washes me running his lathered hands all over my body.

"Can I wash you?" I ask him

He nods and watches me pour some shower gel into my hand, I move towards him and he watches my hands moving over his chest, he closes his eyes savouring my touch, its too much for me and the tears start to fall once again. I move closer to him and rest my cheek against his chest as his arms go around me, I turn my head and gently kiss one of his scars. The gasp that comes from him startles me, and I look up to see his eyes wide he is staring down at me. I deliberately move towards another and then another and plant a soft kiss on every scar on his chest. He moans and I stop.

"Don't stop" he whispers

I immediately finish my journey across his chest and kiss his final scar. I look up and see he is crying.

"Don't cry" I whisper and I run my thumb across his face wiping the tears away.

"Oh god Ana I love you so much" he says hoarsely, and he pulls me close clinging to me, I wrap my arms around his shoulders and there we stand just holding each other with the hot water beating down on us.

I make us some breakfast, Luke appears just as I am handing Christian a plate with an omelette on it.

"Good morning Sir" Luke says politely as he pours himself a mug of coffee.

"Good morning Luke, any progress on last night?" Christian asks

"Yes sir, we tracked Morton down and he is under constant surveillance, Mr Cross has a tail on him 24/7 and the restraining order was processed last night, Mr Cross called in a few favours to get it pushed through quickly and in place by this morning".

"Good" Christian says and then turns his attention to his omelette.

"Would you like an omelette for breakfast Luke?" I ask

"That would be very nice thank you Miss Steele" Luke replies politely. I smile at his official tone and I realise this is for Christian's benefit.

After breakfast Christian accompanies me to the Crossfire, heads turn as Gideon greets us in the huge foyer. We head upstairs and I show Christian my office.

"You like it here, don't you?" Christian says

I nod, "Yes I do, its my dream job" I say

He nods but doesn't say a word, I notice a hint of sadness in his eyes.

"Christian what's wrong?" I ask

He shakes his head, "I want you to come home with me to Seattle, I am barely surviving without you, I know the time apart was for us to work out our issues and how we feel about each other, but I know exactly how I feel about you now, I am working so hard with Flynn on my issues, I am trying not be jealous and controlling and respecting your independence, I love you, you are my life, without you my life is nothing, the money, the apartment, all of it means nothing now you are not there to share it with me, I wasn't living I was existing - you have given me a life, a life worth living and I want it and I want you with me in Seattle, you, me and our baby, my own family, for the first time in my entire life I feel... happy, I want this Ana, more than anything,...but, you obviously love New York, and your job here and I can't ask you to give it all up for me, I drove you away and that is something I will have to learn to live with".

I go to open my mouth to protest but a voice from behind us takes us both by surprise.

"She doesn't have to" we both turn in surprise and see Gideon standing there. "She doesn't have to give anything up, Ana if you want to return to Seattle with Christian you can transfer to my Washington office in Seattle, I actually have an editor out there who has put in for a transfer to New York to be close to her elderly mother, so we could instigate a straight swap"

I see Christian look at me hopefully I think about this latest development.

"How long are you in New York for?" I ask

Christian shrugs, "I have business out here I need to complete, I was due to come out next week as I told you, but I brought it forward after yesterdays events, that should take 2-3 days I should think and then we can spend the weekend together and I will head back early next week, Ros is in control back home and I trust her I am in contact with the office and there is nothing important on the table at the moment which needs my attention" he explains.

"Ok let me think things through and I'll give you my answer before you leave next week, is that alright?" I ask

Christian nods, he pulls me close, "Whatever you want baby" he says.

I hold him tightly, but as I see Gideon walk away I remove myself from Christian's arms.

"Gideon" I call

He turns and looks at me, I walk up and wrap my arms around his waist and hug him "You are a wonderful man Gideon, and I hope one day you will find your soul mate, you will always be a very special friend to me, I'm sorry I couldn't be more for you, but .." I trail off.

Gideon smiles down at me, "Christian got there first!" he finishes, "thank you Ana that means a lot, I can see how you and Christian are, you are meant for each other, I am glad I met you though as now I have two very special friends in my life". He looks up at Christian as he says this, I turn and put my arm out to Christian and he wraps his arm around me, and there we stand in a strange yet comforting group embrace.

"Its good to see that such a positive thing has come from something so ugly and negative" I mutter, both men look down at me and they both smile, as they realise I am talking about how our mutual pasts have brought us together and made us strong, and given us each other. I am overjoyed for Christian, as the only friend he ever had was Elena and she was no friend at all, but now he has Gideon who not only knows and empathises with what Christian has gone through in his past but also understands what it is like for him to be the man he is now.

We are drawn from our bonding session by a discreet cough, I look up and see Taylor, I smile widely

"Hi Taylor" I say brightly, but something about his demeanour makes my smile fade.

"Good morning Miss Steele, excuse me sir there has been an important development" Taylor says grimly

"What is it?" Christian asks

Taylor steps inside my office and closes the door. "The surveillance team who are watching Morton have reported he has received a visitor this morning, a female visitor, Mrs Lincoln has turned up at his apartment and is with him now, which would suggest it is more than possible that Mrs Lincoln will be made aware of the link with Morton and Miss Steele, which will put Miss Steele in immediate danger, especially considering how Mrs Lincoln feels about Miss Steele".

Taylor barely has the words out of his mouth and both Christian and Gideon leap into action, grabbing their phones and barking orders. There is a knock at the door and Luke appears.

He shuts the door and begins to speak "Miss Steele with the increase in threat ..." I put my hand up

"I know Luke, You are going to be glued to my side for the foreseeable future" I say, Luke nods and looks relieved that I have accepted this so readily. "Its ok Luke, I'm sure everything will be fine but there is no point in being complacent, I have another life to consider here" I put my hand on my stomach and shiver when I feel Christian place his arm around me and put his hand on top of mine.

Christian kisses me soundly, "I have to go" he whispers

I nod my understanding, Gideon leans forward and squeezes my shoulder reassuringly, and gives me swift peck on the cheek, I watch them leave with Taylor, Luke takes up his position outside my office and I go and sit down and put mind on the work in front of me.


	25. Chapter 25

CHAPTER 25

I am busy working my way through the manuscripts when there is a knock at the door. "Come in" I call.

The door opens and Damien stands there grinning, "What's with the Pit-bull?" he asks nodding his head towards Luke who is scowling at him.

"Oh don't worry about Luke" I say, I still don't totally trust Damien, so I am not about to start explaining Luke's presence. "What's up?" I ask

"Editors meeting in Andrew's office" Damien says.

I stand and gather up my manuscripts, "No need to bring those, it's not that kind of meeting" Damien says. I grab my phone and push it into my pocket and stand to follow him out.

"I'm going to Andrew's office for a meeting" I say to Luke he nods and follows us down the corridor towards Andrew's office, as soon as we reach the office, Damien suddenly pulls something from his pocket, turns and jabs it into Luke's side, Luke lets out a scream and falls to the ground twitching.

"Luke!" I scream, and I try to help him, but Damien grabs me and holds a tazer up to my neck.

"You are coming with me, and you are going to come quietly, if you don't want to end up like him, got it" I nod, my mind is running I would fight back under normal circumstances but I don't want to cause any harm to my baby. I stare at Luke's prone body on the floor and take a deep breath trying to calm myself and think clearly. Ray's words when he was teaching me self defence come into my mind.

"Panic is what will get you hurt or killed, you need to keep a clear head Annie" I start thinking how I am going to handle this, I have my phone, which is a big plus, I remember how Christian tracked me by my phone when we first met, and I drunk dialled him and I immediately feel confidence, I realise that they will probably search me for my phone and so I need to conceal it somewhere, and I touch my skirt, it has a hole in its lining which I have been meaning to mend for a while, and thinking quickly piecing things together, I look up seeing the bathroom nearby a plan pops into my head, its a long shot that it will work but its all I have at the moment. "I will co-operate, but I need the bathroom first" I say nodding towards the door opposite. Damien grins.

"Nice try, you think I will fall for that" he says

My heart falls I knew it would probably be a long shot but I persist, "Look, I need to pee, unless you want me to piss all over you I suggest you let me go and do what I need to do in there now, where can I go, we are 20 odd floor up?!" Damien considers my words and nods, I mentally fist punch and I begin to think he is obviously not the brightest spark, either that or he doesn't realise I have my phone with me.

"Be quick" he says. "If you are not out in a minute I will come in and fetch you" he adds he waves the tazer at me "Got it?" he says.

I nod and push open the door as soon as I am inside I quickly enter the stall, lock the door and pull my phone out, I send a group text to Gideon, Christian and Taylor

**SOS - LUKE DOWN, IMMEDIATE DANGER, DAMIEN INVOLVED ANDREWS OFFICE**

I read it, it is concise and gives all the detail they need, I put my phone on silent but leave it switched on so Christian can track me and quickly slide it through the hole into the lining of my skirt, thanking god for the fact I hadn't gotten around to mending it when I'd discovered there. I feel much more confident now, I walk out of the bathroom and glance at Luke who has been dragged to the side of the corridor. He is starting to come around and Damien jabs him again with the tazer. He turns and grabs me and ties my wrists with cable ties, my eyebrows raise when I see them and I immediately think of Christian, I clear my mind I can't let thoughts like that distract me, he leads me into Andrew's office, which is empty, I am surprised until I notice there is a fire escape in the far corner. He takes me and leads me down the back stairs when we reach the ground we are both panting but there is a car waiting, and I am bundled inside, in the drivers seat is a man I don't recognise.

"Lets go" Damien shouts and the car speeds away, I am praying that Luke is ok, and that Christian won't do anything stupid, this is the sort of situation where he will undoubtedly over react and I know as soon he as he receives my text he will be beside himself. We drive out of the city and we seem to be heading north. Eventually we arrive at what appears to be a disused warehouse I am pulled out of the car and taken inside, I am searched but thankfully they don't find my concealed phone. I am pushed into a chair and the driver produces a roll of duct tape and proceeds to tape me to the chair, he removes the cable ties from my wrists but then pulls my arms behind me and proceeds to tape them together.

_**CHRISTIAN'S PERSPECTIVE**_

I am sitting here bored out of my mind while this complete dick in front of me drones on about statistics. I couldn't give a shit about half the stuff he is talking about, I just want to wrap this up and get out of here.

I feel my phone buzz in my pocket and I sigh, pulling it out and staring at it I can't help but smile when I see it is a text from Ana, I open it and the warm feeling I felt when I saw her name turns icy cold and I am immediately filled with dread, as I read it.

"NO" I yell, At that moment Taylor bursts in clutching his phone. I realise I have leapt to my feet, sending my chair flying backwards.

"Sir" he says skidding to a halt, everyone is staring but at this moment the whole deal can go to hell as far as I am concerned.

"I have to go" I say as I am already crossing the room.

We are rushing to the car, I am nearly ¾ of an hour away from the Crossfire my only hope is to contact Gideon as I think this my phone rings.

"Grey" I snap

"Christian, its Gideon, I have just received a text from Ana, I was at a meeting across town, I am making my way back to the Crossfire now, I've put my team on code red ready to go and contacted the police dept, Angus is trying to get a fix on Ana's location from her cell phone".

"Thank you" I say, "Taylor is searching her cell as well as soon as I get the coordinates I'll give you the details" I am feeling out of control and completely desperate at this moment, don't let anything happen, nothing can happen to her, I have just got her back for gods sake, then there is my baby, I go cold at the thought she could lose the baby, and I realise how much I want this child.

"Hurry up Taylor, find her just fucking find her" I say sharply.

Moments later my phone rings again, "Christian, Angus has a lock on Ana's cellphone, she is heading north out of the City, my team and NYPD have the co-ordinates and are heading out now".

"Taylor, Ana is heading north" I bark.

Taylor is tapping something, then exclaims, "Got her" he glances at me through the rear view mirror, "Don't worry sir we'll find her" he says confidently.

I nod, I have no doubt in my mind that he will, the question is, what will have happened to her by the time we reach her? I put my head in my hands and for the first time in my life I pray, I pray that she and my baby are kept safe and unhurt.

_**GIDEON'S PERSPECTIVE**_

"Ok, I'm all done now Angus meet me outside in 2 minutes I am on my way down" I have just sat through one of the most pointless meetings, honestly I wonder sometimes what I pay these people for, they can't make a decision without dragging me across town to wipe their asses. As I make my way down to the ground floor I feel my phone buzz, I pull it out and I smile as I see Ana's name.

I open the text and nearly drop my phone in shock "SHIT" I shout quite forgetting I am in a crowded foyer everyone looks around, but I don't care, I run outside, Angus gets out of the car and frowns at me.

"Angus try and get a fix on Ana's cell phone, it appears she has been taken from the Crossfire, how the hell did this happen? Get me back to the Crossfire now!" I leap into the car and Angus springs into action he starts tapping away while driving.

I pick up my phone, think Gideon, I call Raul, "Raul, get the code red team on alert Ana has been taken from the Crossfire, forwarding a message she sent to me to you now, get on it, Angus is tracking her he will send co-ordinates as soon as we get a fix" I hang up before he can answer and call the Police Chief.

"Morris, Gideon Cross, a member of my staff has been abducted from the Crossfire, I am on route back there now meet me with a team at the Cross fire in 10 minutes and I will brief you on what we know" I hang up and stare at my phone, there is someone else I need to call and this is the call I am dreading most. I know I need to do it though. I take a deep breath and dial.

"Grey" comes the clipped greeting

"Christian, its Gideon, I have just received a text from Ana, I was at a meeting across town, I am making my way back to the Crossfire now, I've put my team on code red ready to go and contacted the police dept, Angus is trying to get a fix on Ana's location from her cell phone".

"Thank you" he says in a tight voice, he obviously knows and sounds lost and afraid "Taylor is searching her cell as well as soon as I get the coordinates I'll give you the details"

"Right" I respond and hang up, shit he sounds terrible, I feel suddenly guilty, she was in my building and I assured him she would be safe, I gave him my word that nothing would happen to her, I was pissed when he stepped up the security almost as if he didn't believe me, but he was right to doubt me because I failed him and I failed Ana.

"Sir I have got it, she is heading north out of the city" I call Christian back straight away and tell him what Angus has just discovered.

We arrive at the Crossfire and I head up to the Editors floor there is a commotion outside Andrew's office and I see Luke Sawyer being physically restrained by a paramedic.

"Luke what happened?" I ask

"Ana has been taken, one of your editors came for her saying there was a meeting here, when we got here, he shot me with a fucking tazer, by the time I came round they'd gone, I quickly call up Ana's text, Damien involved she had put. She must have found something out about him, my mind immediately goes back to our conversation where she was asking questions about him, something must have happened, shit why didn't she say something?

I grab my phone, and call human resources, "Tanya bring me Damien Ellis's personnel file now" I bark. Wait, Damien ELLIS fuck he is related to fucking Sybil, Elena Helen who ever the fuck she is. How could I have been so stupid!

Moments later Tanya arrives I snatch the file from her and walk into Andrew's empty office with Luke and Angus. Angus sits down at Andrew's desk and firing up Andrew's computer he quickly accesses the personnel files and I give him the code from the paper file to access the sensitive information.

"Born in Texas, mother Helen Ellis, father Stephen Morton". Angus says. I stare at Luke. The information was under our noses all the time.

"We need to find her now" Luke says

"Are you ok to come along?" I ask looking at him he is incredibly pale and is sweating.

"I'm fine lets go" he barks impatiently.

I turn to the group of armed police officers who have just entered the room. Luke steps forward flashing a badge and quickly explains the situation and issues rapid instructions.

"Your heard the man" one officer says, and they all move out.

We head downstairs and pile into the SUV, Angus pulls out and heads north, and I only hope we get to Ana in time.


	26. Chapter 26

CHAPTER 26

I look around the room, its huge, and the ends of it are in darkness, the only light I have is a dirty skylight above my head giving a dim excuse of the daylight from outside. I am totally alone. The driver has gone, and Damien has disappeared as well, I am duct taped to a chair my legs are parted, taped to each chair leg and the duct tape is repeatedly wrapped around my middle effectively strapping me to the chair, my arms are still fastened together behind my back and I am really uncomfortable .

I hear footsteps coming towards me and I look up wondering who is coming. I recognise the woman immediately. Elena fucking Lincoln the bitch troll herself.

"Hello Anastasia" she sneers

"Well hello Elena, or is it Sybil, or maybe even Helen?" I say calmly

Her smug smile slips as I say this but she soon recomposes herself.

"I have an old friend of yours who wants to _reacquaint_ himself with you" she says with an evil grin.

I stare at her, "Oh you mean Stephen Morton, my ex step father, and your step brother, I guess that makes you my step auntie" I say sarcastically

Once again I know I have rattled her by knowing so much.

"Shut up" she snaps, and she leans forward and slaps me hard across the face.

"Now now, that's not any way to treat your niece Auntie Helen" I say, I know I am goading her but at this moment I really don't care, I am so angry and all the hatred and resentment is just waiting to burst out of me.

"I swear to god Anastasia, keep talking and you will regret it" Elena says

I ignore her and continue to speak, "I know all about you Helen Ellis, Heather Fisher, Sandra Garner, Sybil Hanson, Elaine Illsley and Elena Lincoln (nee. James), which name do you want me to call you today?"

I see the colour drain from her face as I say this. She leans in and slaps me again much harder this time; I taste blood on my lip. "I said shut up" she says.

"Is this how you intimidated Christian when he was fifteen, you slapped him didn't you? You slapped his face and then put your filthy mouth on his and then you molested him, did you have to tie him down before you did it? You are nothing but an evil paedophile and dirty cowardly bully" I am on a roll and I can see Elena getting more and more angry.

Instead of slapping me again, Elena turns and walks over to the wall and picks something up from the window sill and walks back over to me without a word she grabs my skirt and yanks it up exposing my bare thighs I pray she doesn't find my phone but she is staring at my legs, the next thing I have a scorching red hot pain across my thigh, I gasp and look and see a cane in her hand, she circles me and every few moments she strikes me with the cane, her breathing is getting more and more laboured she is enjoying this, my mind flies back to Christian, this is what she did to him. I refuse to give her the satisfaction of crying or screaming out, and I bite the inside of my mouth to stop myself from doing just that.

Someone else appears I turn to look and see Damien I see why he made me so uncomfortable he is the spitting image of Elena, I wonder what the link is, brother? No he is far too young, for a brother, he appears to be my age or even possibly a bit younger.

"Let her have it mom" Damien sneers, but I notice he doesn't come too close to Elena while she is welding the cane.

Mom? oh my god _she_ is his mother? I gasp again as she repeatedly lashes me with cane, I prey she doesn't hit me across my stomach and as I think this I feel the bite of the cane hits me squarely across my stomach, I am thankful that I am fully clothed there still, protecting me a little but my thighs are angry and red, with blood starting to ooze from them. She is staring at the blood, and it is clearly exciting her, she straddles me and rips open my top exposing my breasts, I am waiting for the next lash of the cane when a door opens and in walks Morton, I immediately feel the bile rising in my throat. Elena stops and immediately moves away from me.

"Well look who has come to visit us" he says "Anastasia, let me introduce you to our family" he gestures towards Elena, "this Helen she technically is my step sister but as you know I have always liked to keep it in the family and this is our son Damien"

"I brought her dad, just like you told me to" Damien says looking at Morton, I watch the dynamics here, Damien is clearly afraid of Morton and Elena as he always stays at arms length away, I wonder what perverted things these two have done to him, the thought makes me feel ill. Yet Elena as twisted and vile as she is also appears to be afraid of Morton.

"You did Damien, I am very pleased" Morton says, he reaches out and touches Damien's shoulder and he flinches violently, my mind immediately flies to Christian, and his fear of being touched, this man has been just as broken, by these evil perverted people.

Morton moves out of my line of sight, I hear him behind me and he places his hands on my shoulders and runs his hands down my front until they are resting on my breasts, I really feel ill now and the overwhelming urge to vomit consumes me and I start to heave. I turn my head and vomit he curses and leaps back.

"What the fuck!" he says

"She's pregnant" Elena says harshly, spitting out the word pregnant as if it's something dirty.

Morton stares at me, "well well well, little prim and proper Anastasia gone and got herself knocked up I don't see a ring on your finger, what a turn up, I wonder what your baby daddy would think if he knew the truth about you? I must say I am surprised you actually managed to get another man to touch you though"

"She is a nasty gold digging whore" Elena spits

Morton stares at her, "you know who her baby daddy is don't you?"

Elena goes white, she nods, "My greatest accomplishment, and she took him from me and turned him against me, filling his head with lies and talk of love"

"Tell me who is it?" Morton asks

"Christian Grey" Elena says

Morton's eyes nearly pop out of his head at this, he swings his head back to me, "well Anastasia, you do set your sights high, punching well above your weight with him aren't you, this changes things considerably, not only can I finally get what I want from you, we will find out just how much you mean to your baby daddy, in hard cash"

Morton paces as though he is planning something, Elena, call Grey and demand $100k" he says

Elena snorts, "That's pocket change to Christian"

Morton smiles, "Ok $1million we don't want to be greedy Elena and I really don't think Anastasia here is worth that much, she definitely won't be when I have done with her anyway".

I don't say anything, I can't bring myself to speak to him, all my childhood memories are flooding my brain as he speaks and I am frozen. Something attracts my attention I'm sure I see shadows moving along the far side of the building. I don't react but pray it is something to do with Christian or Gideon.

My attention is brought back to Morton as he does something to he back of the chair and the back goes backwards, I groan as I am now practically lying down, he comes around to face me, and stands in front of me, to my horror I see he has his trousers open and his dick out and is stroking it, an evil grin on his face, I am totally at his mercy as I can't move, I freeze as he pushes himself between my bound and bleeding legs.

"Well this is what is going to happen, I'm going to fuck you hard, then Damien here is going to fuck you and then Helen is going to fuck you up, Helen likes the more extreme sexual experience, and she has been itching to try out some new things on you". He looks at the angry welts on my legs and arms, "It Seems like she has already given you a taste of what's to come" he adds. He is stroking himself all the while he says this. He rips my bra exposing my breasts and grabs one. Suddenly I feel him climb on top of me.

I swallow hard, all I can think of is my unborn baby, there is literally nothing I can do to stop what ever is going to happen to me and at this moment I just want to die. I close my mind to what is going on in front of me, I close my eyes when I feel his hand travelling up my thigh and I stiffen and a tear escapes from my eye, he bends and licks it away and then he grasps my panties and pulls, he is panting in my ear and whispering disgusting things to me, I feel the tip of his dick pushing between my legs searching for my entrance and just as I brace myself for what is inevitably going to happen to me all hell breaks loose, my eyes spring open to see armed men appearing from everywhere, Elena and Damien are soon overpowered and in cuffs and I see Christian and Gideon running forward towards me, I immediately burst into tears with relief when I see them, Christian pulls Morton away from me and when he sees my torn panties in his hand and his exposed penis and my exposed body he explodes with a primal almost feral guttural roar and starts punching him relentlessly.

"Christian don't please, he's not worth it, I need you, don't do this" I cry out, but Christian doesn't stop, Gideon pulls Christian off Morton who falls in a heap in the floor.

"No Christian, help Ana" he hisses, Christian immediately turns to me, he stares at the welts and hisses angrily, he pulls my skirt down to cover me and then gently pulls my torn top around me to cover my exposed breasts, he then turns his attention to the tape and starts tugging at it. He has hasn't said a word, and I know he has retreated somewhere in his mind.

Gideon glances at me and then drags Morton to his feet and I see him taking over the beating which Christian started. He too appears to be totally detached from what he is doing.

"Christian please stop him, he will kill him" I say, "I don't want either of you going to prison because of him, he's not worth it" I say. But Christian isn't listening he is clearly working on autopilot, focussing on the job in hand. Thankfully as I am saying this I see Taylor pulling Gideon off and watch as he whispers something in Gideon's ear, he then drags Morton up off the floor and away none too gently. Luke appears from somewhere and produces a knife and starts cutting through the duct tape binding me.

"Luke are you alright?" I ask anxiously, the last time I saw him he had been hit with the Tazer.

"I'm fine Miss Steele, I'm sorry about what happened" he says as he releases my legs.

"Luke it wasn't your fault you didn't stand a chance, when he hit you with that tazer" I say

Luke smiles at me but says nothing, as soon as he has finished cutting through the duct tape, Christian immediately lifts me into his arms he is so gentle the way he holds me and checks me, I am trembling severely and he removes his jacket and puts it around my shoulders.

"Christian" I whimper, and then I just dissolve into tears pressing my face into his chest.

He wraps his strong arms around me pulling me close "I've got you baby, I've got you" he whispers repeatedly kissing me and rocking me gently, he is comforting me but I can feel he is totally rigid, he hasn't returned yet from the place in his mind he has retreated to.

Gideon crouches in front of us, "Christian you need to take her to the hospital to get her checked over" he says.

Christian stands with me and I wrap my arms tighter around him, "Come on, lets get you out of here and make sure everything is alright" he says firmly.

"Mr Grey if you could wait a moment" I look around and see a man walking swiftly towards us.

Christian scowls at him, "Yes" he says impatiently

"I will need to speak to Miss Steele and get her statement" he says

"Can't it wait? She's pregnant, and I need to get her to the hospital to make sure everything is alright, she has been physically and sexually attacked can't you see the marks on her?" Christian glares at him and he almost wilts under the stare. I can tell he is trying so hard to keep his temper in check, and I know this is totally for my benefit.

"Alright, but please be aware I will need to talk to Miss Steele later" the man says.

Christian nods and turns to leave, "Are you ok baby? How far did he go?" He asks. I feel him starting to come back to me, but he is still incredibly tense.

I rest my head on Christian's shoulder and nuzzle into his neck he leans down and kisses me gently, "He didn't hurt me, but he was going to, he said he was going to fuck me, you pulled him off before he could...but it was close, I feel Christian relax as I say this, so I continue "he put his hands on me ...on my breast and up my skirt on my thigh, he tore my panties" I stop and start to cry again as I feel Christian stiffen again.

"Who put all those marks on you?" he asks

"Elena" I say quietly, "She had a cane"

"Fucking bitch" he mutters under his breath. He takes me out to the waiting SUV and oh so gently lays me down in the back. Luke appears again and climbs into the driving seat, and Christian clambers in the back, he pulls me carefully towards him and rests my head on his lap and strokes my hair repeatedly, he pulls a blanket from somewhere and puts it over me.

"You are safe now, and I swear no-one will ever hurt you again". He says with a determined finality which makes me shiver.


	27. Chapter 27

CHAPTER 27

_**Three Months later**_

Three months have passed and I am back in Seattle and I am with Christian, when he returned home from New York I went with him, he made it clear that there was no way he was leaving me behind and to be honest I wanted to go with him. We are in constant communication with Gideon and he is a firm friend. He is handling all the legal stuff in New York, and the case we have built against Elena with everything that Gideon and Christian's security teams have uncovered about her and in turn implicated Morton and Damien is formidable. We will have to return to New York to testify when the case comes up. Christian has been so over protective since everything happened, while he was in New York he stayed with me at my apartment instead of staying at his own. Gideon was brilliant about everything and he and Christian helped make my relocation back to Seattle as smooth as possible.

While we were in New York, after I had been checked out at the hospital and given the all clear Gideon took us to his penthouse and we had dinner there. Gideon doesn't have a live in housekeeper, like Christian but he has a woman who comes in as and when he requires her to, he is pretty self sufficient, he can cook and he made us a delicious meal. I helped him prepare it and we made a good team, Christian watched, and we teased him about his lack of culinary skills when Gideon placed some veg in front of him for him to chop up and he had no idea what to do with a pepper.

We have seen and socialised with Gideon regularly since we returned from New York. We have had Gideon over in Seattle a few times and Christian has taken us out on his boat, a beautiful catamaran called "The Grace" . Gideon has stayed with us at Escala, unlike Christian who has an apartment in New York; Gideon doesn't own any properties in Seattle...yet! I am convinced that with his increasingly regular visits to see us he will soon be adding a Seattle property to his extensive portfolio. He is coming to visit this weekend and I am just helping Gail get his room ready. He has told us he has a surprise for us, I think he has already told Christian as he has a very smug look on his face every time I mention that I wonder what Gideon's surprise is.

When I returned I moved in with Christian at Escala and things seem to be going well, despite his paranoid over protectiveness, I am cutting him some slack on it because of everything that has happened. I have transferred to and am doing well at Gideon's Seattle office of Cross Publishing, and I tease Christian that I am in competition with him, since he owns SIP, which he has re-branded as Grey Publishing. I have brought in several new authors and we have 4 of the top ten best sellers at the moment. So everything considered, I am blissfully happy, I living with the man I love, I am expecting his child, the bitch troll and Morton are out of our lives, I have no idea about Jack Hyde but he is off the radar, and i couldn't care less what he is doing as long as he isn't anywhere near me, I'm sure Christian and Gideon are keeping tabs on him but they haven't said anything. So in short life is good.

"Are you ready baby?" I turn at the voice and smile at Christian.

"Yes" I reply and walk towards him, he immediately takes me in his arms nuzzles my neck and places his hand on the growing swell of my stomach, I'm just starting to show and Christian is obsessed with it, he constantly touches and strokes my little bump. He is so loving and attentive to me and he is really getting into the idea of becoming a father.

"We need to get going, Gideon's plane is due to land at 6pm" Christian says.

We head downstairs and I grab my jacket, its getting much colder in the evenings, Autumn is definitely in the is waiting and we climb into the waiting SUV, when we arrive at Sea Tac we see Gideon's plane just taxiing to a stop. We pull up on the tarmac beside it and climb out to wait for him. As the doors open his familiar frame fills the doorway, I am shocked as he turns and grasps the hand of a petite blonde and makes his way down the steps, I run to him and he lets her go to hold out his arms to me, he lifts me off my feet and plants a swift peck on my cheek.

"Ana it's so good to see you again" he places me back on my feet and holds me at arms length looking at me fondly. "Look at you!" he says as his eyes fix on my small bump, he turns to the woman and urges her forward, "Ana this is Eva...my girlfriend", he says with a shy grin, "Angel come and meet my two closest friends" he adds, I squeal in delight and I turn, greeting the girl who has captured Gideon's heart.

"Eva I'm so pleased to meet you" I say I hug her and she smiles at me.

"Hi, I've heard a lot about you" she says

Gideon takes over as Christian strolls up, "Gideon" he says and they shake hands and then embrace slapping each other on the back.

"Good to see you Christian, this is my girlfriend Eva, Eva this is my good friend Christian Grey"

Christian bends and kisses Eva on the cheek and shakes her hand, "Pleased to meet you Eva" he says politely.

"Likewise" she says, I smile as she doesn't gawp him like most women do, it is obvious that she only has eyes for Gideon and it makes me happy to see him so obviously in love.

Gideon turns to me and grins at me, I slap his arm playfully, "You didn't say a word, you and your surprises, I'm so pleased for you" I say

Gideon takes a shot look at Christian and I see the look that passes between them, I turn to Christian my eyebrows raised and shove him gently, "You knew didn't you and you didn't say anything?!" I exclaim

Christian wraps his arms around me, and laughs, "yes I admit it baby, it was torture not being able to share it with you but it was worth it to see the look on your face" he says and presses a kiss in my hair. I notice Eva is watching our interaction carefully and as she sees Christian's affection towards me she relaxes a bit, I'd noted that she wasn't entirely happy when I first greeted Gideon and gave me a look which I had seen many times on Christian's face, a look of pure jealousy.

"So are we going to stand here all night or are we going to get back to Escala? Gail has cooked your favourite meal Gideon!" Christian says

Gideon smiles widely, "Lasagne?" he asks almost drooling at the prospect.

Christian nods "The very same" he says

Gideon turns to Eva, "You have not lived until you have eaten Gail's lasagne" he says.

The car ride home is filled with the now familiar light hearted banter between Christian and Gideon, Christian is driving and Gideon sits next to him in the front while I am in the back with Eva. Taylor is following us in another car. She watches Gideon closely and seems amazed by his carefree demeanour. Tonight's debate is the merits of Baseball versus Football, Christian is backing Baseball and Gideon is ferociously backing football. I shake my head at their stubbornness.

"Are they always like this?" Eva asks

I sigh, "Unfortunately yes, they are both too pig headed to realise they are equally matched in the control freak and stubbornness department which also means they don't know when to give it up" I say this loudly, and the two men glance at us before dissolving into laughter.

"Enough!" I say light heartedly. I turn to Eva, "What makes it really sad is the fact they both like baseball AND football!" I say sarcastically.

When we arrive at Escala Taylor carries in Gideon and Eva's cases, and goes to take them up to the guestroom which Gideon always uses when he stays.

As Gideon watches Taylor leave he takes a shot look at Eva and she nods, he walks up to Christian and pulling him to one side whispers something in his ear.

"Don't be ridiculous" Christian exclaims staring at him, I walk over.

"What's going on?" I ask

Gideon sighs and looks down at the ground, looking uncomfortable; Eva walks up and grasps his hand.

"Gideon, you said they know everything about you, and that they are your closest friends they won't judge you" she says.

Gideon looks up and I see that lost look on his face which I last saw when he confessed his past to me. I grasp his arm.

"Come and sit down Gideon" I say gently. Like a child he follows me over to the huge sofa, Eva sits beside him and I have to fight the urge to take his other hand, Christian sits down and look's at his friend carefully.

"What is it?" Christian asks gently

Gideon turns and looks at me, "I just told Christian that I would sleep on the sofa or something while we are here, because Eva and I ...we can't sleep together" he says

"Why?" I ask confused.

Gideon looks uncomfortable and shuffles in his seat, Eva squeezes his hand, "because he has really bad night terrors of the time he was raped as a child, and during whatever he is reliving he turns into the aggressor, he attacked me while he was asleep once and tried to rape me, he didn't know what he was doing, and I trust him, I know he wouldn't hurt me when he is awake but when he is asleep its a different story, he can't control it" she says

Gideon lowers his head, shame written all over his face. I stare at him, "Gideon look at me" I snap

He looks at me surprised at my tone; I grasp his chin with my hand. "Gideon Cross don't you dare feel ashamed, you cannot control what you do when you are asleep, the fact Eva is sitting here after you tried to attack her, should tell you she doesn't blame you and she understands so snap out of it".

He turns and wraps his arms around me, "You always know exactly the right thing to say" he mutters in my ear. He releases me and looks up and glances at Christian uncertainly. Christian shakes his head, looks at me and then begins to speak.

"Welcome to the club Gideon, I had night terrors every single night of my life for as long as I could remember, every single fucking night, I would re-live what the crack whore's pimp used to do to me" he says.

Gideon's mouth drops open at this news, "You say had – past tense?" he asks

Christian nods and smiles at me, "yes I still get them if I have to sleep away from Ana, she keeps the monsters away from me".

"You are a very lucky man, I would give anything to go a night without reliving my past" Gideon says.

Christian reaches into his pocket and pulls out a card, handing it Gideon. "Call him, John Flynn is the best shrink in the world, he has helped me sort out my shit and when Ana left me made me realise what an asshole I had been, he's good, I didn't listen to the advice he gave me about my night terrors but I should have done, I know you will probably have issues with shrinks after...you know...but I swear he is the best, and he is a good man" Gideon accepts the card and stares at it.

I smile, I reach and grasp Gideon's hand "He is, John Flynn is a good man, he has to be to put up with Christian's tantrums" I say. Christian laughs and Gideon smiles, but he looks back at the card and his smile fades.

"I have to do something" he says, he pushes the card into his pocket, "Thanks" he adds.

I decide to butt in, "So going back to the original point here, Gideon if you think you are going to clutter up our sofa by sleeping here you have another think coming, you will sleep in the guest room next door to Eva, or Eva can have that room if you want to sleep in your usual room, and Gail and I will get it ready for you after dinner" I say deliberately keeping my tone light to add a bit of levity to the situation.

Gideon grins at me, "Thank you" he says.

"See I told you they would understand" Eva says and bumps shoulders with him.

We are interrupted by Gail as she informs us that dinner is ready. We go and sit around the table and Gail brings in the large dish of Lasagne and places on the table it in front of Gideon.

"Well that's mine what is everyone else having?" he says staring almost indecently at the dish of lasagne.

We all laugh, Gail places Garlic bread and a bowl of salad on the table and leaves us to help ourselves. Christian pours wine which I stare at longingly.

"Stop it" he says grinning at me.

I sigh, and he hands me a glass of water. "Gee thanks dear" I say sarcastically as I take the water from him.

The atmosphere is light hearted and easy around the table throughout dinner.

"So tell me Eva how did you meet Gideon?" Christian asks.

Eva goes red, "It was the most embarrassing moment, I was helping some woman who had spilt all her change all over the floor of the foyer inside the Crossfire and he stopped in front of me, I looked up at him and lost my balance and sprawled on my ass at his feet" she says, shaking her head at the memory.

Christian snorts with laughter, "That's just so weird" he says, "The first time I met Ana was when she fell head first into my office, I guess we have that effect on women eh Gideon?"

I glance at Eva and roll my eyes; she giggles, and then continues with her story. "He pursued me pretty aggressively, I work in the Crossfire for an Advertising Company on the 20th floor and he stalked me finding out where I worked and commandeered my boss to submit an advertising campaign to try and win a contract for a Vodka company he bought, when he got me alone he told me he wanted to fuck me, I mean just came straight out with it, I want to fuck you Eva he said just like that" she says.

I stare at Gideon, "Oh my god you didn't?!" I gasp, "What did you do?" I ask Eva.

She shrugs "Basically told him to go fuck himself!" she says

Christian chokes on his wine and bursts out laughing, "the direct approach didn't work then?" he says.

"You could say that" Gideon says

"He was relentless, and eventually I gave in, and we went on a date even though he refused to acknowledge it was date, because he doesn't do dating because ...get this, it he doesn't like spending lengthy social time with a woman during which he's not actively fucking" she pauses and sees my shocked expression "oh it gets better" she continues, "I asked him if he doesn't like the company of women and he said he does al long as there aren't any exaggerated expectations or excessive demands on his time" she smiles at Gideon "But I brought him round to my way of thinking" she says. I see Christian desperately trying not to laugh, Gideon looks at me sheepishly.

"Did you seriously think behaving like a complete asshole would get you laid?" I splutter.

"It worked for me baby, as I recall when you asked me if we were going to make love, I told you I didn't make love, that I just fucked hard, but you still gave me your virginity" Christian says proudly

I go bright red, thankfully Eva saves me "we had a bit of a rocky start with our baggage and issues but the last month has been good" she says, she looks up at Gideon and he smiles at her indulgently.

"We will compare notes!" I say firmly, Eva smiles at me as I continue, "You have no idea how familiar all that sounded, it was like the way Christian and I started, he stalked me for a while too...still does!" I add glancing lovingly at Christian. Christian grins but says nothing.

The conversation continues and the atmosphere is light-hearted and jovial until Gideon reaches into his pocket for his phone he glances at the screen and frowns.

"Cross" he snaps, his face falls and he glances at me and then Christian, I feel the atmosphere immediately take a nose dive. Christian stiffens and is immediately on alert.

"What?...when was this?...where is he now?...Shit! yes I'll tell them, I'm pretty Sure Christian's people will be informed shortly as well" just as he says this Taylor appears with a grim expression on his face, Gideon glances at Taylor.

"Got to go" Gideon says and throws his phone on the table. He turns to Taylor, "Are you here about Hyde?" he asks, and Taylor nods curtly.

I gasp at the mention of his name and Gideon turns to me and grasps my hand, "He has been released and was last seen boarding a plane".

I shake my head, "No" I moan, "No, for gods sake can't we have five minutes peace" I slam down my fork and run from the room in tears.

Moments later I feel Christian behind me, "Come here" he says gently. I turn around and he holds me tightly. "Its ok baby" he says quietly.

A few minutes later I head back out embarrassed by my outburst. "Sorry about that" I mutter.

"Don't apologise Ana" Gideon says. We finish our meal in silence then Christian, Gideon and Taylor disappear into Christians study and I am left alone with Eva.

"Sorry about my little outburst, I'll blame my pregnancy hormones. That's my excuse I'm sticking to it" I say trying to make light of the situation.

"What did he do to you?" she asks bluntly

I stare at her in shock, she picks up her glass and we move over to the sofa. "Ana your reaction was that of someone who has been abused in some way, so I'll ask again what did Hyde do to you?". I am shocked at the forthright way she is speaking to me.

"I...he...it was" I stammer, Eva smiles at me,

"I understand Ana, more than you could ever realise, Gideon knows all about my past and it's as horrific as his" she stops and throws back the rest of her wine.

"Gideon told me about how he told you and Christian everything when he told me, he had to really after he tried to rape me in his sleep, I had already told him all my shit" she stops and looks at me carefully.

I sigh, "I was verbally, physically and sexually abused by one of my mothers ex husbands, he reappeared recently and it turned out was involved with a woman who had sexually abused Christian when he was a teenager, and she was also involved with the man who raped Gideon, it was such a mess and so inconceivably weird that three people from totally different backgrounds and parts of the country could be linked in such a way". I stop Eva is staring at me.

"Jack Hyde was a totally different situation, he was my boss at Seattle Independent Publishers, my first job after I finished college, Christian tried to warn me about him, everyone in the office warned me what he was like, he is a sexual predator, and when we went to New York for a literary exhibition he tried it on quite forcibly, it was where I first met Gideon actually, and he helped me out" I say. "I thought now the other situation was pretty much sorted, and Hyde out of the way, we could finally relax and get on with our lives, it seems I was wrong" I shrug and stare at my glass in front of me.

"So now he is free and possibly heading this way" she says

I nod. I look at Eva, "What's your story?" I ask carefully, she stares at me, "I'm sorry I don't mean to pry" I say quickly.

She shakes her head, "No its fine really, my mom had a husband with a son from a previous marriage – Nathan was his name, and he repeatedly raped me, I was 10 when it started and it only stopped when I was 14 and suffered a miscarriage and it all came out" she shrugs, I gasp and move forward and hug her. She responds and we sit in silence.

I pull away, "I'm feeling very foolish now, for my outburst" I say ashamed at my reaction, nothing had actually happened between me and Jack and after hearing what Eva had gone through makes me feel like a brat".

"Ana, its ok he scared you, it doesn't matter if he actually managed to physically violate you or not, he intended to. It's not some kind of competition. What you have experienced is no less traumatic than what I have gone though". She smiles at me and I reach over an grasp her hand.

"Thank you" I say

"Gideon said that you're pregnant" she says changing the subject, and nods towards my bump

I run my hand over my tiny bump, "Yes I am" I say, "I'm 18 weeks pregnant" I add.

"You and Christian are good together" she says

I snort, "It wasn't always like that, I ran off to New York to get away from him at one point"

Eva stares at me, "really?" she says. I nod.

"Yes I had a habit of running when Christian did something I didn't like, he has erm issues and baggage too" I say, "but we seem to have worked it all out" I add hastily.

"You and I are so similar, I did exactly the same thing, I was so insecure, I ran at the first sign of trouble with Gideon, he hated it, it terrified him" Eva says.

I nod, "I can imagine, they both put on this front of big powerful and arrogant multi billionaire CEO's but underneath the surface and all the bravado they are both just broken lost little boys".

Eva nods in agreement. "They are" she says.

**AUTHORS NOTE: I had originally decided not to have Eva in this story, but as it evolved and I changed direction the story line I felt it was right to include her.**


	28. Chapter 28

CHAPTER 28

The next morning we are sitting around the table eating breakfast and discussing what we are going to do, I see Gideon and Christian exchanging knowing looks I wonder what all that is about I am distracted when my phone starts buzzing I look at it and frown.

"Who is it baby?" Christian asks

"Jose" I reply, I wonder why he is calling this early, I see Christian stiffen as soon as I mention Jose's name.

"Jose, is an old friend of mine from college" I explain to Gideon and Eva, "Hi Jose" I say brightly as I answer.

"Ana, I'm so sorry, I have bad news" he says

"What's wrong?" I ask as I leap to my feet.

"It's your dad, he came to visit my father and as he was on route he was hit by a drunk driver, luckily there were plenty of witnesses including me and he was air lifted to Portland hospital, the big one we are on our way there now but you need to get here, it was pretty bad".

"No" I moan, I feel my legs giving way and I grip the back of the chair tightly, "No, no" I say again, Christian is on his feet and has his arms around me before the words have hardly left my mouth, he gently takes the phone from me and I turn into his chest and cling to him, he wraps his arm around me and speaks to Jose.

"Jose, its Christian Grey, what's going on?" he snaps, Jose is obviously telling Christian what has happened as his grip on me tightens, and his hand clasps the back of my head.

"Thank you Jose we will leave now" he says in slightly warmer tone and hangs up. "TAYLOR" he yells.

Almost immediately Taylor appears, "Ana's father has been involved in a serious road accident, get a flight plan for Charlie Tango to Portland immediately" Taylor nods.

"Yes sir" he replies and disappears.

Christian throws my phone on the table and then retrieves his own from his jeans pocket, I hear him calling someone, while all the time comforting me with his spare arm I have my arms wrapped tightly around his waist and am quietly sobbing into his chest.

"Mom are you at work?...no...good, can you and dad make your way to Boeing Field Ana's father has been involved in a road accident, and has been airlifted to Portland Hospital I am taking Charlie Tango and flying her there, I need you there mom...thanks, is dad there? Put him on please...dad, some fucking drunk driver has hit Ana's father in Portland, I want you on the case dad, it happened at 7:30 in the fucking morning...we are on our way to Boeing Field now ...yes...thanks dad, we'll meet you there!" Christian hangs up and grasps my shoulders and looks at me.

"Ana, baby look at me, come on I'm going to fly you to Portland to see your dad ok?"

I nod, I suddenly remember our guests, and turn to face them they are looking at me with sympathy and concern, "I'm sorry about this" I mutter wiping my face.

Eva stands and embraces me, "Don't you dare Ana, don't worry about us" she says.

Gideon stands and walks forward, "We will come with you to Portland. We won't get in the way while you are at the hospital I will meet up with Carrick and help with the legal side, find out who the asshole is and make sure he gets the fucking book thrown at him"

Christian nods, "That's very good of you Gideon" he says.

"It's the very least I can do, who is drunk at 7:30 in the morning and then stupid enough to drive?" Gideon replies.

I have stopped crying and am feeling numb now I don't say anything, I stare at Eva as she grabs my hand and smiles at me, "Come on lets get our coats" she says gently, Christian reluctantly lets me go and I allow her to lead me away.

It's a subdued car ride to Boeing field, in sharp contrast with last nights light hearted drive. When we arrive Charlie Tango is ready to go, and Grace and Carrick are waiting for us, Grace immediately wraps her arms around me.

"Ana darling, don't worry he's in good hands, I tried to get some information for you, but they won't tell me anything, because I'm not family, but I did try" she says.

I nod, "Thank you Grace that means a lot" I say, I remember Eva, who is standing with me and stroking my back and I turn to introduce her, "Eva this is Grace and Carrick Grey Christian's mom and dad, Grace, Carrick, this is Eva Trammell, Gideon's girlfriend, they are here visiting us"

Grace smiles widely and embraces Eva, "How lovely to meet you, it's a shame it's in such circumstances" Eva nods and smiles at Grace.

"Pleased to meet you too" she says politely.

Grace turns to Gideon who is in deep conversation with Christian and Carrick and hugs him, greeting him warmly and we all pile into Charlie Tango, I take my usual seat next to Christian in the front and the others climb in the seats in the back. As I reach for my headphones Christian squeezes my knee gently and smiles at me. Taylor and Luke climb in and I see Taylor on his phone I try to listen and it sounds like he is organising transport for when we arrive in Portland. When he has finished he puts on a pair of headphones which Christian hands to him, presumably so he and Christian can talk. I watch as Christian does all his pre flight checks and then speaks to the tower at Sea Tac, soon we are in the air and heading towards Portland.

As I see Portland coming up in the distance, I turn to Christian, "Where are you going to land?" I ask

Christian grins at me, "Don't worry about that, Taylor managed to get a special dispensation for me to land in the hospital grounds where the air ambulance lands, Stephan should be there waiting to fly her to my usual landing area afterwards so we don't block the helipad. I hear Taylor's voice coming through the headphones.

"Sir, Stephan has just arrived at the hospital" he says

"Thank you Taylor" Christian replies

"See" he says to me

I manage a weak smile, "Thank you" I say quietly.

When we land Christian escorts us all away from the helicopter and has a brief word with Stephan before shaking his hand and returning to us. Gideon pulls me towards him and bends to whisper in my ear.

"I'll see you both later, I hope your dad is ok, I'm going with Carrick to find out about the asshole who hit him, I promise you we'll make sure he doesn't get the chance to hurt anyone else ok" he hugs me tightly and then holds his hand out to Eva.

"Ready Angel?" he asks. She shakes her head at Gideon and looks at me.

"I...I'd like to stay with Ana if that's ok?" she says

Gideon nods, "Fine by me, is that alright with you guys"

Christian shrugs, "I don't mind" he says.

I just nod, Eva immediately walks up to me and takes my hand, "Come on lets go find your dad" she says kindly.

Heads turn and mouths drop open as we all troop into the hospital; I watch in a daze as Grace and Christian completely take over and demand details. Christian has his arm tightly around my shoulder and Eva is holding my hand. We are directed to the OR and when we arrive we once again have to go through another 20 questions.

We are told my dad is in surgery and we are shown to a waiting room. I see Jose sitting waiting with his father, he stands and his face lights up as soon as he sees me.

"Ana" he says

"Hi Jose" I say, I watch as he takes a quick look at Christian and then hugs me.

"They won't tell me anything because I'm not family but I had to come" he says.

I just nod at him and I sit and start to shiver. Eva sits beside me and Christian sits the other, I see Jose frown at Christian and I wonder what the matter is. Christian isn't taking any notice though he is clearly only concerned about me.

"Are you cold baby?" he asks, immediately removing his jacket and putting it around me and wrapping his arm around me and rubbing the tops of my arms. I just shake my head although I do feel cold.

Eva lets go of my hand and disappears and a few minutes later returns with a thermal cup of hot water and a teabag and a small bar of chocolate I smile gratefully at her surprised that she remembered how I took my tea from earlier.

"Thank you" I say.

"Its ok, I find chocolate is good for shock" Eva says with a shrug, Christian smiles at this, I think he is just happy that I have something to eat.

"Do you want anything Christian?" Eva asks. He shakes his head.

"No thanks" he replies, she turns to Grace,

"Mrs Grey?" She asks

Grace smiles, "No thank you dear, and please call me Grace". She looks towards Taylor and looks questioningly at him, "What about you?" she says. Taylor shakes his head but doesn't say a word.

Eva sits down and pulls a bar of chocolate from her pocket and opens it, breaking off a square she pops it in her mouth and folds over the rest and pushes it back into her pocket. I see Jose looking at her, and I remember my manners.

"Jose, Mr Rodriguez, this is Eva a friend of ours who is staying with us from New York, and Grace Grey, Christian's mother, Grace, Eva this is Jose Rodriguez an old friend of mine from college, and his father Jose senior"

Jose murmurs a hello and Mr Rodriguez stands and shakes Eva and Grace's hand warmly.

"Where's Luke?" I ask I have suddenly realised he is missing.

"He went with dad and Gideon baby" Christian says gently, I nod, remembering.

After what seems like an eternity the door opens and a young male doctor walks in.

I stand up "Ray Steele" I mutter, Christian immediately stands and wraps his arm around me.

"Are you family?" the doctor asks

I nod, "yes he's my father" I reply as the doctor looks around the room at the crowd of people Christian steps forward.

"Christian Grey, Miss Steele is my girlfriend" he says holding his hand out.

The doctor greets him politely, he looks tired, as he rubs his forehead, he proceeds to tell us a list of injuries, I feel my legs give way and Christian tightens his grip on me, I hope he is listening to what the doctor is saying as I am missing most of it.

"What's the prognosis?" Christian asks

The doctor shrugs, "We've done all we can it up to him now"

"Can I see him?" I ask

"Of course, if you head along to the ICU someone will let you in" he glances around at everyone, "Immediate family only and only two people at a time" he says.

"Thank you Doctor, may I ask who is in charge of his care?" Grace asks

"Dr Schluder" the man replies

Grace beams at him, "I'd like to speak to her if that is alright?" she says, "Tell her Dr Grace Trevelyan is here" the man nods and leaves the room.

Jose stands, "We'll get going now we know what happened" he says. I nod.

"Thank you for coming" I say

Jose grips my hand, "if you need me just call me ok?" he says earnestly

I feel Christian stiffen, but he doesn't say anything.

"Thank you Jose" I say and he bends and gives me a swift kiss on the cheek and his father hugs me tightly and then they both leave.

I look up at Christian, "Well done!" I say

Christian raises his eyebrows in question

"You didn't cause a scene when Jose kissed me" I explain.

"He still wants you" he replies

"No he doesn't and to be honest even if he did, I really don't care" I say.

Eva takes my hand again and as we walk out of the waiting room to head up to the ICU she whispers in my ear.

"Christian is right, that man wasn't here for your dad, he was here to see you, it was written all over his face".

I shake my head, "he's just a friend" I protest

Eva shrugs, "That's all he maybe to you, but I'm telling you that man is in love with you" she says.

When we arrive at the ICU I hear someone calling out to Grace.

"Grace what are you doing here, I was told you were here and wanted to talk to me?"

"Lorraina, I'm here supporting my son's girlfriend" she turns to us, "This is Ana Steele, her father Ray Steele was brought in and you are his leading physician, and this is my son Christian" she looks at Eva, "This is Eva Trammell she is a friend of Ana and Christian"

Dr Schluder smiles and greets us all, "Ana do you want to come in and see your father?"

I nod, "Can Christian go in with me, please?" I ask

Dr Shluder hesitates then smiles at my pleading look, "ok but not for long".

I turn to Eva, "Will you be ok waiting here with Grace?" I ask

"Don't worry about me, I'll be fine" she says.

I walk in and I see Ray surrounded by machinery beeping and I see tubes and wires, I stop dead and my hand goes to my mouth.

"It's ok baby" Christian murmurs and urges me closer, I see Ray's hand on top of the bed, a nurse is busy doing something with a drip and I look up at her.

"Can I touch him?" I ask

She smiles at me, "Of course you can, and talk to him too" she says.

I sit down beside Ray and take his large hand in both of mine, "Oh daddy please stay with me" I moan, and all of a sudden its like a damn bursts and I start to sob uncontrollably, Christian crouches beside me and pulls my head on to his chest, and kisses the top of my head repeatedly. He looks around and pulls a chair up and sits beside me with his arm firmly around me.

As we are sitting there, someone walks in with a clip board looking apologetically at me.

"Miss Steele?", he says

I look up and nod, "Are you the next of kin to Mr Steele?" he asks, I nod again, he sighs "I'm sorry to bother you but there appears to be a problem with your father's health insurance"

I feel Christian stiffen and I just know he is going to lose his temper, I reach over and grip his knee in warning, but he ignores me and stands in one swift movement and gestures to the door. I'm not quite sure why he did this as I can hear every word he is currently yelling at the poor person who came in.

"DO YOU SERIOUSLY THINK THIS IS THE RIGHT TIME TO APROACH MY GIRLFRIEND WITH THIS?"

I close my eyes and cringe, I hear the person mumble and apology, and something else which I don't catch.

"WELL I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT HOSPITAL PROCEDURE, WHAT EXACTLY IS THE PROBLEM?"

I hear muffled explanations of the issue.

"WELL THERE HAS OBVIOUSLY BEEN AN ERROR MADE BY SOMEONE, MAKE SURE IT IS CLEAR THAT I WILL PERSONALLY BE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE COST OF MR STEELE'S CARE AND I WILL MAKE SURE ALL MR STEELE'S MEDICAL BILLS ARE PAID IN FULL AND YOU HAD BETTER DAMN WELL MAKE SURE HE IS TO RECEIVE THE BEST CARE AVAILABLE DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?"

I hear a mumbled yes and moments later the door opens and Christian walks back in and sits back down beside me.

"Sorry about that baby. Idiots! They were saying his health insurance didn't cover the treatment he had received"

I shake my head, "No, it probably didn't" I say.

Christian looks dumb struck and pulls me close, it is clear he didn't consider for a moment that Ray wouldn't have adequate health insurance. "Don't worry baby, he will get the best care, I will make sure of it".

I sit with Ray for a while longer and talk to him, Christian to his credit sits with me holding my hand. I have never known him to be so still and quiet for so long. Suddenly I hear Christian's phone buzz, he pulls it out and looks at it.

"It's Gideon" he says and leaves the room to answer it.

Moments later I hear Christian yelling again "YOU ARE FUCKING KIDDING ME!" I hear further talking this time at normal volume and then Christian returns looking pale, he sits down and stares at me he grips my hand runs his thumb over my knuckles.

"What is it?" I ask

"The man who hit your dad...it was Jack Hyde"


	29. Chapter 29

CHAPTER 29

I stare at Christian in disbelief, I can't say anything, I shake my head.

"Jack Hyde! Please tell me you are not serious?" I say eventually

Christian shakes his head, "I only wish I was joking" he says, "Gideon and my father are handling everything, he was in a rental car, which he picked up from the airport, he had been drinking on the plane god knows how he managed to rent a car and then he stopped at a liquor store and he was drinking and driving. It appears he was trying to make his way back to his home in Seattle but he was so wasted he ended up on the road to Portland, when he reached Portland he realised his mistake and U turned and that was when he ploughed into your dad, he has no idea it is your father, so it wasn't personal, he was just blind drunk and your dad got in the way".

"Where is he now?" I ask

"Sleeping it off in a police cell" Christian says bitterly, "He tried to leave the scene but there were so many witnesses he was stopped from doing so, he wasn't happy about that and assaulted a few people and the arresting officer so he's not exactly very popular".

I shake my head in disgust, and look back down at Ray, lying there fighting for his life. "That man is a menace to society" I say bitterly. Christian doesn't say anything, just holds me tightly.

When Carrick and Gideon arrive at the hospital, we all decide to leave and go and get some lunch. Christian has to persuade me to leave my fathers bedside, telling me he is in good hands and there is nothing more we can do, and that the nurses have our number if anything happens. I know this is true, but I can't help feeling I am abandoning him.

We arrive at a restaurant and all head inside, I have to go to the bathroom and as I move away from Christian he holds me close.

"Where are you going baby?" he asks

"i need to pee" I whisper pointing in the direction of the bathroom.

"I'll come with you" he says immediately

I shake my head, "For gods sake Christian I need to pee I'm fine going a few feet to the bathroom alone" I say irritably, Christian smiles and immediately backs off but calls Luke over, I sigh but capitulate to Christian's over protective demand and Luke follows me to the bathroom, waiting outside. When we come out I see everyone talking and I take a moment to watch, I notice Gideon and Christian whispering to each other, and Christian shaking his head, Gideon appears to be trying to persuade him to do something by the gestures he is making. I see Eva walk over and Gideon says something to her and she nods enthusiastically and appears to be also trying to persuade Christian to do something. Then Grace joins in and hugs Christian, and is talking seriously to him. Carrick is the only one not involved as he is standing talking to Taylor. I walk over and Christian immediately walks towards me and grasps my hand tightly, and we make our way to our table. Carrick, Grace, Gideon, Eva, Christian and I are all seated around one table and Taylor and Luke have a separate table a few feet away. It's a sombre meal with no chit chat. Gideon speaks to Christian suddenly.

"Are you and Ana staying in Portland?" he asks.

Christian nods, "Taylor has booked a suite at the Heathman, what do you plan to do? You are welcome to stay on with us, and Taylor can book you a suite but if you want to head back to New York we'll understand".

Gideon stares at him for a moment and then he seemingly thinks carefully before he asks, "Are you planning on going ahead with the original plans?" he looks hard at Christian as he says this.

Christian remains quiet for a moment and then quickly glances at me before he answers, "I'm really not sure its appropriate now" he says vaguely. I look at Gideon and then Christian, they are trying to hide something, I glance at Eva but she is talking to Grace.

"Christian what are you hiding?" I ask bluntly.

He looks uncomfortable and shuffles in his seat. Gideon glances at me, then Christian, "I think you should stick to the original plan" he says firmly, staring at Christian with his eyebrows raised, I notice Grace and Eva both paying attention now and waiting for Christian's response.

I am getting a little bit angry now, "Christian Grey what are you hiding, tell me and tell me now" I demand.

Grace smiles at me and reaches across the table, "It's alright dear he's not hiding anything from you" she says kindly. I glance at Carrick and he looks as bewildered as I do. Christian takes a shot look at his mother and she smiles and nods at him, he glances at Gideon and he nods and slaps Christian on the shoulder.

I see him think for a moment as if he working things out and then he nods his head, he closes his eyes and then when he opens them he stands holding out his hand, "Baby, come with me a moment" he says. I take his hand and stand up, he leads me outside, and into a small secluded walled off area which has been made into an ornamental garden, there is a bench and some tables and flowerbeds and a small fountain, its a chilly grey day and it is deserted, but Christian leads me to the bench and gestures for me to sit down, and he sits beside me he wraps one arm around my shoulder and then places his other hand on my bump.

"What's going on Christian?" I ask suspiciously

"Baby, listen to me, I love you, you know that, you are carrying my child and I can't even begin to contemplate life without you" he stops and runs his hands through his hair. "Shit, I had this all planned, but ..." he stops reaches into his inside pocket and then drops to one knee in front of me, I gasp as he opens a small box to reveal a beautiful diamond ring.

"Ana baby, this isn't how I planned to do it, but if there is one thing your dad's accident has made me realise, its life is too fucking short, and all I know is that I want to spend mine with you , and I don't want to wait a moment longer, you _are_ my life, I am nothing without you, so... will you marry me?" He waits for my answer and I can see the fear growing in his eyes that I am going to say no and effectively reject him.

I am totally speechless, I realise I need to say something as the fear is quickly evolving into panic.

I smile at him and touch his face, the gesture calms him a little, "Ok" I whisper nonchalantly.

His face breaks into a huge relieved grin, and he stands and pulls me up into his arms and kisses me repeatedly. "You will? You will marry me?" he asks again almost disbelieving that I have actually agreed. I nod at him, "Say it, tell me again" he demands.

I laugh, "Yes! Yes Christian Grey I will marry you" I say, he picks me up and spins me around as I squeal and slap him to put me down. I hear a round of applause, we turn and look and see Taylor, Luke, Carrick, Grace, Gideon and Eva all standing watching, clapping and smiling. Grace is crying and she rushes towards us.

"Darling I am so happy for you, for you both" she says, she pulls me from Christians arms and holds me tightly. "Thank you, you darling girl, and welcome to our family" she says.

Everyone surges forward and Gideon pulls me into a hug and kisses my cheek, then shakes Christian's hand, "See I told you that you had nothing to worry about!" he says with a grin. Eva hugs Christian and then me.

"Congratulations guys" she says.

As we move to head back inside, Taylor steps forward, "Congratulations sir, Miss Steele" he says politely. Christian beams at him. He has my hand tightly in his and I see he has his phone in his other hand and is calling Elliot.

"Elliot, I asked Ana to marry me and she said yes" he says, "yes...yes she did, fuck off Elliott! ...we are in Portland, ...Ana's father was in an accident and we flew here this morning in Charlie Tango...yes...I'll tell her, thanks bro, bye" Christian turns to me. "He said congratulations and sorry about your dad". I nod and smile, I know Elliot also made some smart ass comments considering Christian's remarks to him. Next Christian calls Mia, I see him bracing himself.

"Mia ...its me Christian" he rolls his eyes, "Listen Mia I have something important to tell you, I have asked Ana to marry me and she said yes" the next thing we all clearly hear a shriek and Christian is pulling the phone away from his ear. Carrick, Grace and Christian all shake their heads and roll their eyes, while Gideon, Eva and myself all burst out laughing. Christian attempts to speak again, "Mia...Mia...MIA, calm down will you, no we haven't discussed that, no, Mia I said NO, for fucks sake Mia, yes when we get back to Seattle we will, we are in Portland...because Ana's father is in hospital here, he was in a road accident...I will do...ok Mia, listen I have to go now, goodbye...yes Mia I will, Goodbye Mia" he hangs up and runs his hands through his hair. "Ok the short version is she's pleased for us, said congratulations and also sends you her love and hopes your dad gets well soon" Christian pushes his phone into his pocket. Gideon orders some champagne and I stare at it. Grace smiles and pours a small amount for me I see Christian frown in disapproval, but Grace glares back at him.

"Just a sip won't hurt" she says firmly.

Christian shakes his head and the champagne has barely touched my lips before he pulls the glass from my hands. We carry on with our lunch. Towards the end of the meal, I start thinking about my dad again and I feel guilty for having fun while he is fighting for his life in hospital, I stare the ring on my finger, Christian sees me and frowns.

"Do you like it?" he asks uncertainly

I smile at him, "I do, it's beautiful, very big, but beautiful" I say

"What's wrong then?" he asks

"Just thinking about my dad, I sort of feel guilty about sitting here enjoying myself while he is in hospital in the ICU" I say

Christian pulls me close and kisses my head, "Baby, he wouldn't want you to mope around, that isn't Ray, is it?" he says

I shake my head, "no its not" I admit, I rest my head on Christian's shoulder, my emotions are all over the place, worry about my dad, happiness that Christian has asked me to marry him, mixed up with all my out of control pregnancy hormones I feel like my head is going to explode.

I think Christian senses this too, "Do you want to go back to the hotel and have a lie down?" he asks, I nod.

"Yes but what about everyone?" I ask

"You are the most important person baby, you and our baby" he whispers in my ear and then presses a sweet kiss to my temple. I see Grace looking at me.

"Everything alright Ana?" she asks

I nod, "Just a little overwhelmed with everything that's happened today" I say

Christian takes charge, "I'm going to take Ana back to the Heathman for a rest and a sleep" he says firmly, standing up and pulling me to my feet. Gideon stands and hugs me and then slaps Christian on the back, Eva hugs us both and smiles widely.

After a quick discussion, it is decided that Taylor will take Christian and I back to the Heathman and then Luke will take Grace, Carrick, Gideon and Eva to Charlie Tango, where Stephan will fly them back to Seattle. Gideon and Eva have decided to then gather up their things from Escala and fly back to New York. We understand why they have done this, with us here in Portland its not fair to ask them to stay while we will be at the hospital. Gideon congratulates us and says he will be in touch. Eva seems quite sad to be going, I like her and I can see us becoming really good friends.

After a nap at the Heathman, Taylor drives us back to the hospital. As we walk up to the ICU I see a nurse come running out of Ray's room and asking a colleague to page Dr Schluder, I panic and run inside, I stop dead when I see my father with his eyes open.

"Daddy" I gasp,

"Hey Annie" he rasps

I sit down beside him and he grips my hand his eyes fall on my ring and he looks up at Christian and smiles, "You did it then?" he asks

Christian nods proudly, "Yes sir I did"

"Well remember what I told you, you ever hurt her, I will find you and you will wish you had never been born"

"I understand Sir" Christian replies

"Daddy" I say, shocked at what he has said.

Ray smiles at me, "Congratulations Annie, I suppose I'd better get myself well so that I can walk you down the aisle!" I giggle at this. "Have you told your mother?" he asks, my smile fades.

"No, not yet" I say

"Well you'd better" he says.

I nod, "I'll call her tonight" I say

We sit with Ray for a while, I read him some sports stories from the newspaper and he chats with Christian about fishing. We tell him that Jose and his dad came to the hospital when he was airlifted here, eventually he looks at Christian and asks the thing I have been dreading.

"What happened to the guy who hit me?" he asks

"He's in custody, he tried to leave, and then assaulted some people including a police officer, so he has a list as long as your arm of offences against him". Christian says. Ray notices my reaction when he asks about the other driver.

"What is it Annie?" he asks

"We know who it was who hit you" I say

"Really, who?" Ray asks

"It was Jack Hyde, he had been released and flew to Seattle, he was so wasted he took the wrong turn and ended up driving to Portland, when he finally realised his mistake was when he hit you".

Ray shakes his head, "Talk about coincidences!" he says.


	30. Chapter 30

CHAPTER 30

We stay with Ray until it becomes clear he is tiring. I kiss his cheek and tell him to get well soon. When we return to the Heathman I decide to call a few people and tell them about my engagement. I start with Kate.

"Kate, hi" I say as she picks up the call

"Hey Steele, how's your dad?" she asks

"How?..." I begin,

"Elliot called me and told me, and he also told me about you and Christian, I figured you'd call when you got a moment, congratulations by the way!" she says

"Thank you, I'm sorry I didn't call until now" I say

"Hey, don't worry, how is your dad?" she asks

"He's awake so that's a huge relief" I say, "He's pretty beat up but he's too stubborn to give in" I add.

"Good, well congratulations Steele, make sure that control freak doesn't take you over though" she adds.

"Kate, you don't know me very well if you think that will happen" I say sharply

She laughs, "No maybe not" she concedes.

We wrap up our call and then I brace myself for my call to my mother, I check the time, it will be late but she should still be up. I dial her number and wait.

"Hello" I hear Bob's voice

"Hi Bob it's Ana is mom there?" I ask

"Hi Ana, hang on...CARLA! How are you?" he asks

"I'm good Bob thank you, the pregnancy is going well and I'm feeling good"

I hear my mother's voice and I wait, "That's good to hear, listen I'll hand you over your mom is here now, take care Ana" Bob says

"You too Bob and thank you" I say

"Ana, why are you calling so late?" my mom asks

"I have some news" I say

"Oh" she says

"Dad was in a road accident he is in hospital in Portland, it was pretty bad but he pulled through and he is going to be fine, and...Christian has asked me to marry him and I said yes". I stop at the deathly silence. "Mom are you still there?" I ask eventually.

"I'm glad Ray is ok" she says coldly she doesn't say anything else

"Ok" I say, "What do you think about my other news?" I ask carefully

"Just because you are pregnant, doesn't mean you have to marry him, don't make the same mistakes I did and ruin your life like I did, that's what I think" she says

I feel tears welling up in my eyes, "Well it's nice to know I am a mistake that ruined your life" I say

"Ana, please, yes you were a mistake, there is no denying that, you weren't planned, but you know I love you".

"Mom just stop, can't you just be pleased for me, and even if you can't be, lie and pretend you are" I feel Christian walk up behind me and wrap his arms around me.

"What do you want me to say Ana? Congratulations I hope you will be very happy?!" she spits

"Yes mom, that's exactly what I want you to say, that is what everyone else has said!" I say

"Well I can't, I won't lie to you I think you are making the biggest mistake of your life, you are a smart girl but yet you picked the same path I did, and got yourself pregnant before you could accomplish anything in life, and now you are getting married, what is it, has all the money blinded you?" She says.

My mouth drops open and I stare at the phone in disbelief, "I can't believe you just said that, I can't believe you even thought it, you really don't know me at all do you mom?" I say.

"Ana please" my mom begs, her tone has changed completely, she obviously realises she has crossed a line.

"No mom you have made your feelings clear goodnight" I say and hang up; I turn and sob into Christian's chest and tell him everything my mom said, I feel him stiffen with anger. He leads me to the bedroom.

"Come on baby is been an overwhelming day for you, get into bed, and try and go to sleep" he says

I suddenly feel exhausted I climb into bed and smile up at Christian through my tears.

"Thank you" I whisper to him

"No problem baby, I need to make a few calls and then I'll join you ok?" he says looking at me carefully.

I nod, "Go do your things and I'll be right here waiting" I say, "I may be asleep though" I add with a shrug.

Christian grins and kisses me before leaving the room. I lie there and feel myself drifting, until I get a tickle in my throat, I climb out of bed and head out to get myself a glass of water. As I go out I hear Christian talking on his phone.

"What do I do? Ana is so upset with what her mom said to her, I knew I should have never pursued her, she is far too good for me and now, have I really ruined her life by making her pregnant? I mean it wasn't planned, plus I don't want to be the one to crush all her ambitions and be responsible for her being estranged from her mother as well, have I really done the right thing asking her to marry me? Plus I didn't do the proposal I wanted I had it all planned out, I wanted to spoil her and show her how much I love her, I wanted it to be romantic, but what did I give her, a garden area at a restaurant on a grey day in Portland"

I can't help myself I walk up behind him, "Yes you have done the right thing, you always do the right thing, and the proposal was beautiful, heartfelt and wonderful" I say. Christian stands and spins around to stare at me.

"I have to go" he says to whoever he is talking to and hangs up.

"Who were you talking to?" I ask

"Gideon" he replies, "he just called to say he and Eva are back in New York, and for the record he said the same as you, that I'm doing the right thing marrying you" he looks at the phone in his hands and I walk towards him wrapping my arms around his neck and I look up into his face.

"Then start believing it" I say

He smiles at me his shy lost boy smile. He recovers himself "What are you doing out of bed?" he asks.

"I needed a drink" I say.

"Well go and get into bed and I will bring you one" he says firmly.

I return to the bedroom and moments later he walks in with a glass of water for me.

The next morning after breakfast we head to the hospital and find Ray sleeping, we are told he had a good night and is making amazingly good progress. I go and sit next to him and take his hand in mine and stroke it, As I do so he rouses and opens his eyes.

"Annie, sorry sweetheart, how long have you both been here" he looks up at Christian and smiles at him, "Good morning son" he says.

"Good morning Ray" Christian replies.

"Don't worry we have only just got here" I say.

He nods, and looks at me closely, "Annie what's wrong?" he asks

I smile and try to fob him off, but he knows me and knows exactly what i am doing. "Annie I may be confined to this bed but I have a damn long memory and as soon as i am able I will put you across my knee if you don't tell me what's going on"

I hear Christian try and suppress a snort of amusement at this. I give him a look and he sits down beside me.

I am staring down at Ray's hand in mine, "I phoned mom last night and told her about our engagement" I say

Ray sighs, "What did she do now?" he asks in a resigned tone.

"She wasn't very happy, she said I didn't have to repeat the same mistakes she did, she said that I had been a mistake and she also accused me of only marrying Christian for his money" I stop as the tears start to ooze out of my eyes.

"She said what?!" Ray exclaims.

"Daddy, please don't get upset you are not well enough I shouldn't have said anything" I beg.

Ray stares at me for a moment and then turns to Christian, "Christian, do you think I could borrow your phone I need to make a call?" he says a very controlled cold voice which I have never heard before.

"Daddy please" I beg once more, I see Christian delve into his pocket and hand Ray his phone, Ray looks at it in confusion, he only has a really old basic cell phone nothing like Christian's. Christian gently takes it from him and scrolls through his contacts, and calls up Carla and then hands the phone to Ray. Ray nods his thanks and puts the phone to his ear and waits.

"Carla, its Ray not Christian...yes I'm fine, takes more than a drunken idiot to keep me down. Yes...listen Carla, I said listen, you will shut your mouth now and listen to what I am going to say, I hear you weren't too enthusiastic about Ana and Christian's engagement...well forgive me Carla but you know fuck all about that girl because you have never been there, to accuse her of being a gold digger is low even for you, she is not you Carla...I don't give a flying fuck what you think, but you listen to me, the next time you speak to Annie, you will apologise and mean it, you will be happy for her and you will never, ever, EVER call her a mistake ever again. She is not to blame for your life choices Carla, she is the best damn thing you ever did but you are too selfish to realise it...I don't give a shit about your feelings, what I care about is my daughter upset because of what her own mother thinks of her...she _is _my daughter, I may not have been the god damn sperm donor, but I was there for her, i was the one who brought her up when you were off doing god knows what every night, I was the one who sat up with her all night when she was ill I was the one who went to all her school plays and parents evenings, I was the one who cheered her on, on sports day and participated in the parents race, I was the one there for her graduations from High School and college, and I was the one who picked up the god damn pieces when that piece of shit Morton molested her, she is MY daughter Carla and don't you damn well forget it". He stops he is breathing heavily and I hold his hand tightly. My mom is obviously saying something because he is silent and listening, then he says in a calmer voice, "yes I did give my blessing, Christian called me a few days ago to ask me for my permission, he assured me he loves her, and he assured me he would never hurt her, he assured me he will try to be the best father he can be to the baby when it comes and support Annie with her dreams and ambitions, which is good enough for me, and he knows should he ever do anything to hurt her and fail in any of those pledges he made to me I will find him and I will hurt him" Ray looks at Christian as he says this and Christian nods and smiles. "I am going now Carla, you had better start practicing your apology ...yes and Carla make it good" he hangs up and hands Christian his phone back. "Thank you for that son" he says.

"Not a problem" Christian says as he looks at Ray with a whole new deeper level of respect.

"Ray, can I talk to you man to man?" Christian says as he pushes his phone into his pocket, Ray nods as Christian sits and moves closer. "Ray, you are a proud man and I don't want to embarrass you and after what I have just witnessed I never want to get on your wrong side, but you would tell me if you were struggling...financially" he stops he is obviously scared of upsetting Ray.

Ray sighs, "There is not enough cover on my health insurance is there?" he says.

"No there isn't, but you don't need to worry about it" Christian says, I grip Rays hand even tighter.

"Did they come to you Annie? Oh god they did didn't they, I'm so sorry, I don't want to be a burden on you" he says

"No dad no never, you could never be a burden" I say firmly.

"Ray, don't worry, i took the liberty of paying all your outstanding medical bills and I am being billed for your current care and before you resist, I ...we need you well and healed, Ana needs you, and well you need to give her away at the wedding".

"I want a full list of what you have paid out so I can repay you somehow, in instalments or something" Ray says stubbornly.

Christian shakes his head, "No, you are going to be my father in law, it is the least I can do for you", Christian holds his hand up to stop Ray protesting "Ray, you know I am a very wealthy man, I make more money an hour than most people make in a year but I started out in abject poverty the like you couldn't possibly imagine, I can't stand by with everything I have now and watch a member of my own family struggle in any way, and you are now my family Ray, never forget that". He stops and stares at Ray.

Ray stares right back, until eventually he slowly nods his head, "Alright thank you, but please remember I am a simple man I don't need money, I have my home, my job and my daughter and that in my mind makes me a very rich man".

"Understood" Christian replies. He doesn't tell Ray he has paid off his mortgage, and arranged top of the line medical insurance for him as he realises this may be a step too far at this stage, and he wisely decides to leave that for another time.

We sit with Ray, for most of the morning, I watch as he and Christian talk and behave in a relaxed manner with each other. Its good to see.


	31. Chapter 31

CHAPTER 31

When we leave the hospital I am feeling much more positive. Christian leads me to the car where Taylor is waiting patiently.

"I think that went well with Ray" Christian says brightly

I nod, "you didn't tell him about paying off his mortgage or the health insurance you have arranged for him though did you?" I say with a smirk.

Christian shrugs, "I didn't want to push my luck" he says wryly.

As we get closer to the car, Taylor walks towards us.

"Sir, Mr Cross called, he has discovered that the date of trial of Mrs Lincoln, Mr Morton and Mr Ellis has been set" Christian immediately wraps his arm around me and pulls me to his side.

"I see" he replies.

"Yes sir, I think with the tremendous stack of evidence against them they are looking for a plea bargain and want to get it over as quickly as possible. He has discovered that Mr Ellis has offered information in return for a reduced sentence, he apparently has been a victim of theirs as well and has talked about a very disturbing childhood" Taylor looks uncomfortable as he says this.

I nod my head, "you could tell Damien was petrified of Elena and Morton" I say, "He tried to stay at arms length all the time and when Morton touched him he flinched really badly".

Christian shakes his head. As he does so his phone rings, and he looks at the screen, "My attorneys, they are probably calling to tell me about the trial" he says.

He takes the call and nods, when he hangs up, we know we have to go back to New York in three weeks time. I am shocked it is so soon, but anything which involves Christian and Gideon you can guarantee all the stops are pulled out.

_**THREE WEEKS LATER...**_

"Everything ok baby" Christian asks

I nod, I am tired and the early morning for the flight to New York isn't doing me any favours. I am nervous about this trial, but determined to see it through. Ray is recovering well and Christian has had him transferred to Seattle to a rehab unit where his mother can keep an eye on him and it's easier for us to visit him regularly. Ray had protested at first until Christian had explained things, also he was predictably furious when Christian eventually told him he had paid off his mortgage and arranged the best possible health insurance for him. He and Christian had had heated words about it for over an hour, both as stubborn as each other, but Christian had got his way in the end.

We are almost at New York, and I am looking forward to seeing Eva again, we have talked, Skyped and emailed almost constantly since I first met her, in fact I have talked to her more than I have done Kate recently, and I know it hasn't gone down well with Kate. Carrick has flown out with us as legal support and when the trial starts Grace, Elliot and Kate are going to fly out and join us.

When we land Gideon and Eva are waiting for us. When we walk down the steps Eva runs to me and wraps her arms around me and then does the same to Christian much to his surprise. Gideon, kisses me on the cheek and hugs me and then he and Christian embrace slapping each other on the back.

We all head to our apartment which is just a short walk down from Gideon's, and Christian's New York house keeper has prepared a meal and drinks for us all. After lunch and a few hours just sitting and catching up we go our separate ways, Eva and Gideon head back to Gideon's penthouse to change and they are meeting us here later as Gideon has got us tickets for a Broadway show. After Gideon and Eva leave, Christian walks up to me and strokes my bump which seems to be getting bigger by the day. "How's my son?" he asks as he caresses my stomach.

"He's fine, he was a bit active on the flight here but he has gone quiet now" I say I watch Christian bend and kiss my stomach, he has been walking on air since we went for a scan the other day and we got to know the sex of the baby. I knew Christian wanted a son, the way he always referred to the baby as him and he, but when questioned he always maintained he didn't mind as long as the baby was healthy. My mind goes back to the day a few days previously in Dr Green's office.

"Well Miss Steele, everything seems to be progressing well, Dr Green points out various things on the scan, for us and Christian sits there enraptured by the now human looking figure, he grips my hand tightly as he stares at the wriggling figure on the screen.

"Can you see the sex of the baby?" he blurts out suddenly

"If baby co-operates then it should be possible to find out, do you want to know?" Dr Green asks, Christian looks at me, I know he is desperate to find out, so I nod my head.

"Yes we do" Christian says firmly and I see him lean forward as Dr Green tries to coax the baby to show us what we want to know, suddenly she freezes the screen.

"There look do you see, he is very much a little boy" she says pointing to what looks just like fuzz to me. I glance at Christian and he has a wide grin on his face.

"I have a son" he whispers, he turns to me, "I have a son" he says again, I see he has tears in his eyes, I nod my head and he wraps his arm around me and kisses me repeatedly on the face, neck and lips.

He suddenly remembers where he is, "I do apologise Dr Green" he says as he sits down and composes himself.

"Not at all Mr Grey" she replies with a smirk.

"Earth to Ana, come in Ana" I am pulled from my thoughts by Christian speaking.

"What?... oh sorry...what did you say?" I ask staring at him, now fully back in the here and now.

Christian shakes his head and laughs, "You were away with the fairies there" he says and wraps his arms around me.

I smile, "Sorry" I say

"Don't worry baby, I was asking do you want a shower before we head out to the show?" he asks, I nod my head.

"Yes please" I reply "and maybe you could join me?" I say quietly

Christian doesn't need telling twice and practically drags me to the shower room.

As we stand under the hot water cascading around us, Christian washes me paying close attention to my breasts and my small bump, his hands move lower and he crouches in front of me.

"Open your legs baby" he says, his voice thick with emotion, I do as he asks and the next thing I feel his fingers slowly sliding inside me, I groan and I feel his smile against my leg.

"You are so ready, always so ready for me" he murmurs, he pushes me against the wall of the shower and gently lifts my leg over his shoulder and the next thing I realise he has his tongue thrusting inside me and flicking against my clit. I start to move my hips and I hear Christian groan,

"I want you inside me" I say, Christian immediately stands and turns me to face away from him, as he pushes up behind me I feel his erection between us.

"This is going to have to be quick we don't have much time. Open your legs baby and bend forward slightly" he says, I do as he asks and the next thing I feel him fill me, I gasp and he stills.

"Ok?" he asks anxiously

I nod, "Yes" I moan. He starts to move slowly and oh so gently.

"Faster Christian, please I'm not made of glass" I say.

He grasps my hair and wraps his other arm around me and starts a punishing rhythm, he pounds into me, grunting on every thrust and all too soon I feel myself building.

"I'm so close baby, come with me" he says.

I moan in response and I feel the exquisite warmth build and then explode, I tremble and squeeze him tightly and call out his name, he pounds into me a couple more times and then shuddering, I feel him empty himself inside me, as he does so he calls out my name and then he relaxes and he rests his head on my back.

"Oh baby" he says and kisses my shoulder. "Let me wash you" he adds gently pulling out of me and turning me to face him.

When we finally emerge from the shower we are scrambling we quickly dress and are ready seconds before the door goes. Taylor goes to answer it and I hear Gideon and Eva's familiar voices.

"Hi Ana you look lovely" Eva says as she takes in my loose fitting blue dress.

"Thank you so do you" I say slightly envious of the tight fitting little black dress she is wearing.

"Are we ready then?" Christian says glancing at his watch. I grab my purse and take Christians offered arm as we head to the elevator. Angus is waiting outside in Gideon's limo and exits the car ready to open the doors for us Taylor is scanning the area, when suddenly Eva gasps and clings to Gideon.

"No...it can't be, please...god no not him" she mumbles

"What is it Angel?" Gideon says anxiously

Taylor and Angus are immediately on alert and we all climb into the limo, Eva looks as though she is going to collapse, she is shaking violently and is deathly white.

"Angel talk to me" Gideon says

"Eva what is it, what did you see?" I ask her gently, and grip her hand it is icy cold. "Gideon she's in shock do you have a blanket or anything?" I ask

He quickly removes his jacket and wraps it around her, and fumbles under a seat to retrieve a blanket.

"Angel what's upset you?" he asks clearly beside himself.

"Nathan" Eva whispers and Gideon immediately stiffens and grabs his phone.

"Raul, its Barker he's here in New York...yes, Nathan fucking Barker...find out where he is" he ends the call and pulls Eva close to him.

"It's ok Angel, I've got you" Gideon says.

"Who is Nathan?" Christian asks

I stare at Eva and our conversation in Seattle comes back to me, "Eva's rapist" I say quietly.

Christian takes a sharp intake of breath and taps the privacy glass, The glass slides down and Taylor turns towards Christian.

"What's did you say his full name was?" Christian asks

"Nathan Barker" Gideon says quietly through gritted teeth

Christian's mouth drops open, "Nathan Barker?...not Eric Barker's son?" he asks

Eva's head whips up, "you know him?"

Christian shakes his head, "know him, I beat the little shit to a pulp after he tried to touch up my sister Mia, he was an acquaintance of a friend of my brother Elliot's, and one day Elliot's friend came to call for him or something, I don't know the details and that little shit was tagging along as well, he couldn't take his eyes off Mia, and followed her outside, she was 9 fucking years old at the time, I was 15 and I heard her telling him to leave her alone, she sounded scared I went out and he had her pinned against the wall and had his fucking hands all over her, I dragged him off and beat him senseless. Elliot pulled me off until I told him what he was doing and he laid into him as well, we were both in trouble until I told my dad what I caught him doing to Mia and it was the only time I wasn't punished for brawling, Eric Barker came round and laid into my father telling him he was raising a couple of thugs and my father told him he would sooner raise thugs who protected their sister than a sexual pervert, he told him what I'd caught his son doing to Mia and how old Mia was, he backed right off and left without another word"

Eva stares at Christian, "Christian do you remember when this was, you were saying Mia was nine so what year was that?"

"Mia was born the same year as me in 1989 so that would be 1998" I say immediately, Christian stares at me and nods,

"Yes 1998, I'm 28 now so yes that's right" he agrees " I was 15 and it was the summer of 1998 that I had my first encounter with Elena, that was one of the last brawls I had" he says, "Why?" he adds

"I am three years older than Ana and your sister so that would have made me 12, and now you have told me this I know exactly when it was, I remember that day, he came home beaten up and bloody he washed himself and then he came for me, he was so angry that day, I wondered what had happened to him, and he was particularly vicious to me". She stops and turns her head towards Gideon.

"Shit, I don't fucking believe it" Christian says he has gone deathly white, he remembers Taylor who is listening to all this, "Nathan Barker, get on to Welch and track that fucker down" he says.

"Sir" Taylor replies and the privacy screen goes back up.

"Eva I don't know what to say" Christian says, I know immediately from his tone and the look on his face that he is blaming himself for that particular attack on Eva.

"Christian stop it" I say sharply, I grasp his arm, "Look at me" I add

Christian turns towards me, "Christian he would have attacked her whether or not you had beaten him or not, he had been raping Eva since she was 10 years old, and it only stopped when she was 14 so this particular incident was right in the middle of that time span, you are not to blame"

Eva's head shoots up and she stares at me, "Say that again Ana" she says

"Say what?" I ask, "That it was right in the middle of that time span and not Christian's fault?"

She nods, "His father went to see your father and he backed off and left without a word, he knew...he fucking knew, he knew what his son was like, he knew what he was doing to me!" she stares at Gideon and pulls her phone from her purse she dials a number and waits.

"Clancy I need you to find me a cell phone number, Eric Barker...Nathan's dad, that is correct" I see her quickly jot a number down and thank whoever Clancy is and hang up, then she dials the number and waits, when the call is answered she puts it on to speaker so we can all hear the call.

"Eric, its Eva Trammell" she says, her eyes are flashing dangerously, and she is pissed.

"Eva? Monica's Eva?...well this is a surprise, what can I do for you Eva?" he asks

"Eric when did you find out about Nathan and what he was like?" she asks mildly

There is silence for a moment until he responds, "Eva, you know when it was it was when your mother told me what he had done to you, I had no idea he could be so ...perverted, before then".

"Liar" Eva snaps

"I beg your pardon Eva I must ..." Eric splutters

"You are lying because in 1998 when I was 12 years old which would be two years into my four year nightmare, when we were living in Bellevue, Washington State, you went to speak to Carrick Grey about his sons Christian and Elliot beating Nathan to a pulp, but you dropped it and backed off because he told you the reason they had bashed him was because Christian had caught Nathan feeling up Mia his 9 year old sister. Carrick is a lawyer a very respected lawyer and it was not long after that, that we all moved from Washington state to New York" she stops and waits there is a deathly silence. "You knew what he was like, you fucking knew but you never said a word or did a thing, did you know what he was doing to me, because I swear to god if you did."

"Ok I knew he had problems, but I loved your mother and I didn't want to lose her, I knew she would never knowingly put you in any danger and she would leave me if she found out about Nathan so I kept his previous indiscretions to myself, but I never believed he could or would go so far and be so vile Eva you have to believe me, when the extent of the abuse came to light of what he had done to you, I was devastated, I swear to you I had no idea what he was doing to you and I couldn't live with myself when it came to light I still can't knowing what you went through, you have no idea how guilty I feel every single day"

"My heart bleeds for you, you have no idea what I go through every single day, every day there is always the chance something will trigger me and I will panic and lose it, your son took away my innocence and he violated me repeatedly and that is something I have to live with for the rest of my life" I see Eva hang up and I reach forward and hold her tightly, she rests her head on my shoulder and sobs uncontrollably.

Gideon presses a button on the console, "Angus, forget the show, take us back to the penthouse" he says.

We feel the limo turning and heading back the way we came. We are all in a shocked silence. Christian shakes his head and is the first one to break the silence.

"What other links are we going to find between us all? It's incredible, I am speechless there is this invisible cord which is entwined in all of our lives linking us together, in ways which we could never have imagined" he says.


	32. Chapter 32

CHAPTER 32

We are sitting in silence in Gideon's penthouse, Gideon and Christian are both clutching tumblers of bourbon and Gideon is pacing clearly furious that Nathan Barker has got so close to Eva. Eva is still obviously freaked out after seeing him again and is trembling slightly and very pale.

I put my arm around her and she crumbles and clings to me sobbing into my shoulder, this attracts Gideon's attention and he is immediately by her side.

"Angel, don't cry, please it shreds me when I see you so upset" he reaches for her and pulls her from my arms and into his own. "I swear Angel he won't touch you, he won't be even come near you, I will do anything to make you safe and free from him. I see the determination in his eyes and I shiver at the tone of his voice.

I have a sudden urge to pee and I stand up as I do so I feel a crippling pain shoot through me and I gasp doubling over, and clutching my stomach. Christian is beside me and holding me.

"What's wrong baby?" he asks clearly panic stricken.

I stand up and take a deep breath, "I'm fine" I gasp, "I just need to pee" Christian frowns at me but says nothing. I head to the bathroom as I reach the door I feel very strange, I go really light headed and dizzy, my legs feel like lead and I get another pain, and a gushing sensation, when I look down all I see is blood, I fall to my knees.

"CHRISTIAN!" I shout anxiously.

I hear movement and as everything goes black all I hear is Christian screaming my name.

I open my eyes, I have no idea where I am, what time it is or anything, I feel confused as I look around me, and then it all comes back to me, the pain, the blood, my hand goes down to my stomach looking for my bump, its no longer there and a tear leaks from my eye, I look around the room, Christian is lying fast asleep in a chair next to me holding my hand tightly, Gideon is in another chair behind him again fast asleep and Eva is on my other side she is awake and smiles at me.

"Hi" she says quietly

"What time is it?" I ask

She looks at her watch, "Nearly 8:30am", I quickly mentally recollect the night before.

"My baby?" I whisper and Eva shakes her head sadly.

"I'm so sorry Ana, he didn't make it" she says gripping my hand.

I feel numb, my baby has gone, I look at Christian, "how did he take it?" I ask nodding towards my fiancé.

"Badly" she says, "He was beside himself he was terrified that he was going to lose you, he was glued to your side he held it together until they told him the baby was dead and he just lost it, and he refused to leave even when...when they you know...got it out, but he was in such a state they had to lightly sedate him, Gideon got that guy on the phone, Flynn or something and he dropped everything and said he would fly out immediately, Gideon called the pilot of one of his planes which was on route to Nevada to divert to go and fetch him from Seattle and bring him here, he should be here later this morning". I stare at Christian and stroke his head. His eyes fly open and his head whips up, I see the desolation in his eyes.

"Oh baby" he moans and his words rouse Gideon, he opens his eyes and stretches.

I watch Eva stand and pull Gideon to his feet, "Come on lets tell them Ana is awake and get something to drink" she says, I know she wants to give us a moment alone, and I smile at her. Gideon gets the message and they leave the room.

As soon as the door closes Christian breaks down, "Oh I'm so sorry baby, you needed me and I let you down" he moans.

"Christian how did you let me down, you couldn't have prevented this?" I say.

"I lost it they had to sedate me, I saw you bleeding and then I saw you lose my son, and I was convinced I was going to lose you too and instead of being strong for you I lost my self control" he says.

"Christian, I was unconscious, I was losing blood and our baby its no wonder you were panicking" I say gently, "Don't feel bad about it please" I say.

Christian grips my hand and kisses my knuckles. We sit in silence when there is a knock at the door, a nurse pops her head around the door and then comes in. "Dr Harris has been paged, I believe you saw her when you were living in New York" she says.

I nod, moments later the door opens and Dr Harris enters she glances at Christian and then comes over and sits on the edge of my bed, taking my hand she smiles sympathetically at me.

"Ana, how are you feeling? She asks, I shrug and say nothing.

"Have you been told what has happened?" she asks

I nod.

"Ok, I am very sorry, i understand from Dr Green in Seattle you had a scan very recently before you flew out to New York?" I nod again.

"It was a boy" Christian mutters quietly, "I saw him on the screen, moving around, a little boy" he says.

I remove myself from Dr Harris's hold and sit up carefully and wrap my arms around Christian, he clings to me and we sob on each other.

Dr Harris gives us a moment before she continues to speak. Christian pulls himself together and mutters a word of apology.

"It was instant, there was nothing anyone could have done, the placenta became detached and as soon as that happened you started to bleed and that was it". She says in a kind but matter of fact voice.

"The baby came away too and was dead?" I ask

Dr Harris nods, "you went into spontaneous labour and your body expelled the foetus" I close my eyes.

"He was so tiny" Christian says

I stare at him, "you saw him?" I gasp

Christian nods, "he would have fit in the palm of my hand" he says.

"Miss Steele are you up to me giving you an examination?" Dr Harris asks, I nod and glance at Christian.

"I'm not going anywhere!" he states flatly

"That's fine Mr Grey you can stay I just want to have a feel of Ana's tummy to check things over" Dr Harris says calmly.

When Dr Harris has finished her examination and talked to us about the emotional side of losing a baby and given us some pamphlets to read, she leaves us alone. Almost immediately Gideon and Eva walk in carrying a tray with drinks and some food on. Eva looks around and pulls up a table and Gideon sets down the tray.

I prepare my tea, and take a sip. Christian watches me, "Eat something baby" he says, its a demand but not the usual tone he uses when he bugs me about my eating habits.

"You should too" I say, and I watch as Christian takes a piece of bacon and pops it in his mouth.

Nurses wander in and out throughout the morning, and Gideon and Eva don't leave.

I remember the events of the night before, "What happened about Nathan?" I ask

I see Eva stiffen at the mention of his name and I feel guilty, Gideon answers. "He has been tracked down to one of my hotels in central New York, he has been staying there for three days so far, Welch found him and my team confirmed it, we have a tail on him as I speak, and restraining orders in place".

I remember the trial, "Shit we were due in court today to talk to the prosecution team!" I exclaim.

Gideon smiles, "Relax Ana, Taylor and I took care of everything, we explained the situation and the trial has been put back for two months, to give you time to recover" he says.

"Thank you" I say, and Christian nods,

"Yes I appreciate that" he says.

Gideon waves away our thanks dismissively.

Moments later and there is a knock at the door, "Come in" Gideon calls and the door opens and I see Flynn he looks straight at Christian standing behind him is a worried looking Grace.

"Mom?" Christian says he stands and walks over to her.

"Oh darling I'm so sorry" she says holding out her arms to him; I see Christian dissolve into tears and rest his head on Grace's shoulder.

"We lost our baby and its all my fault" he says

"I know, I know, but its not your fault Christian don't think that" Grace says holding him tightly. When Christian pulls himself together I look at Flynn and am surprised by the look he is giving Christian, he looks pleased and then it hits me, this is probably the first time he has seen Christian showing any type of emotion not to mention his interaction with Grace where he is letting her hold him tightly.

"Christian would you like to come and talk to me? Let Grace sit with Ana for a while, I have a room secured for us if you want to" he says carefully.

Christian looks back at me and I nod. "Ok" he says quietly. I see the astonishment register on Flynn's face that Christian has capitulated so easily, he was obviously gearing up for a fight or a tantrum from him. Christian walks over to me and holds me tightly. "I won't be long" he says. I squeeze him and tell him to talk everything through with Flynn; he nods and leaves the room. Grace walks over to me and hugs me.

"I'm so sorry Ana" she says, I feel the tears starting to flow and all I can do is nod. Gideon and Eva discreetly leave the room and leave Grace and I alone. Grace reaches out to Gideon as he passes her and squeezes his hand; he leans down and kisses her cheek politely.

As soon as we are alone I collapse into Grace's arms and cry, I let it all out and I talk, I tell Grace how gutted I feel, how I fear Christian will blame me, how I blame myself, how I can't bear how this has made Christian feel, it all comes tumbling out in a jumbled mess and Grace says nothing she just holds me and strokes my hair, rocking me gently. When my sobs finally subside and I am left with just small hiccups Grace begins to speak.

"Ana, darling you listen to me, you are not to blame for any of this, it was one of those things, this baby wasn't meant to be, its nobody's fault. Christian won't blame you, he will be too busy blaming himself but I will tell him the same thing as i am saying to you, you will need each other more than you will ever realise over the next few months or so, its going to be hard, and you are both going to hurt, and when you fight you will probably blame each other, but you need to remember it wasn't meant to be and neither of you are to blame" I nod at Grace and sniff loudly.

"Thank you Grace" I say

"You are more than welcome Ana, you know you can always come to me, why don't you call your dad, I know you are close to him?"

I nod, I realise I do want my daddy, Grace hands me her phone and I dial his number from memory.

"Hello?" he says

"Daddy its me Ana," I say

"Annie, what's wrong?" my dad says immediately.

"How are you daddy?" I ask ignoring his question.

"I'm fine, now tell me what's wrong, I didn't recognise the number?" he persists.

"I'm fine daddy, I'm calling from Grace's phone, but ...but...I've lost our baby, I had a miscarriage daddy, I am in hospital in New York, we are here for the trial, its been put back because of this, but I lost our baby, Grace has flown out to be with us, Christian is devastated" I feel tears starting to well up again.

"Annie, oh Annie I'm so sorry, and Grace is there, is Christian with you?" he asks

"He is, but not at the moment, Dr Flynn, his shrink flew out with Grace, he didn't handle it very well, he was scared thinking that he was going to lose me s well and they had to sedate him, he was in a bad way by all accounts, Gideon and Eva looked after him though. I have no idea what happened I was unconscious, Grace said it was one of those things, nobody is to blame" I say almost repeating Grace's words like a mantra trying to convince myself of their truth.

"Oh Annie" My dad says.

I talk to my dad for a while longer, and then eventually I end the call, handing the phone back to Grace.

"Thank you" I whisper

Grace smiles at me. The door opens and Christian and Flynn walk in, Christian looks terrible, but he walks straight towards me and wraps his arms around me.

"I'm so sorry baby, you need me to be strong and I have failed you, selfishly only thinking about how I feel" I see Flynn roll his eyes and shake his head, and I smile at him over Christian's shoulder.

"Christian, you are here, with me and that means more to me than you could ever realise" I say quietly into his ear.


	33. Chapter 33

CHAPTER 33

I spend a couple of days in hospital mainly because I have developed a slight infection. When I am eventually released we head to our New York apartment. With the trial put back for two months we are totally free now. My suspicions are raised that Christian is planning something as for a few days he always seems to be on the phone. We are both reliant on each other for emotional support at the moment, I know Christian still blames himself for his reaction when I lost the baby, and he is desperately trying to make it up to me, trying to prove to me and himself that he is there for me. I am numb more than anything, empty, my baby is gone and there is nothing I can do about it and I never got to say goodbye that is the worst part, I had one job and that was keep my baby safe inside until he was meant to be born and I couldn't even manage to do that, I failed as a mother. Then the rational part of me is saying it was nobody's fault it was one of those things but it amazing how that voice of reason gets drowned out by the negativity.

About a fortnight later I am wondering why we are still in New York, I had expected Christian to ship us back to Seattle, but we are still here, I can only assume it is so Christian can help Gideon with the Nathan issue. Christian has seemed to be on the phone so much this past two weeks. He and Gideon are always meeting up or talking on the phone, talking with Taylor and generally whispering about something, I can only assume it is some kind of plan to keep Nathan Barker away from Eva, I wish they would let me in on these meetings as I am sure I could help somehow. But when he is with me I know I am his only concern, even when he is on the phone, if I go to find him he always immediately hangs up and gives me his attention instead.

One Saturday morning after breakfast Gideon and Eva unexpectedly join us and I assume we are going out for a the day or something as Christian had told me he had something special planned for us to do although he didn't exactly say what, but then I see Taylor loading suitcases into the boot of the rented SUV. Christian and Gideon are whispering and Eva stands listening until she sees me and nudges Christian nodding towards me, he looks and then strides to me and smiles.

"Ready baby?" he asks

I nod, "Where are we going?" I ask

"It's a surprise" he replies and leads me to the car. I look out of the window trying to figure out where we are going and am stunned when we end up at the airport, I see one of Gideon's planes waiting, I watch in confusion as we pull up beside the plane. We can't be heading home to Seattle as we would be going on Christian's plane not one of Gideon's and my mind starts working overtime wondering what he has planned.

Christian turns to me and kisses my cheek, squeezing my hand he looks straight at me and whispers "I have a surprise for you, Gideon helped me organise it" he says and eagerly pulls me from the car and towards the steps to the plane. I can tell he is excited about something and I go with the flow as I am so happy to see Christian excited and buoyant about something, as we climb the steps of the plane the smile he gives me is breath taking.

When we enter the plane I gasp, seated in it are Grace and Carrick, Elliot and Kate, Mia and also Ethan and sitting to one side wrapped in a blanket with a wheelchair folded beside him is my dad. I walk towards him and fling my arms around him.

"Hey Annie" he says as he takes me in his arms.

"Daddy, what's going on? How are you? Are you well enough to be here?" I ask the questions tumbling out of my mouth.

Ray chuckles and says nothing, Grace stands, and squeezes my arm," he is absolutely fine, he is as strong as an ox, and I am in constant observation of his care while he is away from the rehab at the hospital, so you have nothing to worry about" I nod I trust Grace and know she wouldn't allow anything bad to happen to my father, but it makes me wonder what Christian has planned.

Eva and Gideon join us and Eva hugs me tightly, "Good surprise eh?" she says

"Excellent surprise and you knew about this and didn't say anything?" I say grinning at her.

Eva laughs and nods "Yep, I knew, Gideon knew, we helped plan it and of course we didn't say anything apart from the fact Christian threatened us both with a gruesome death if we told you anything" she grins as she says this and winks at Christian and he laughs loudly," that's the whole point of a surprise Ana" I laugh with her and hug her back. I see Kate scowl and give Eva a filthy look, I suddenly feel ultra protective towards my new friend and hurt that Kate could be so childish and petty. I see Elliot has noticed Kate's reaction too and he whispers something in her ear.

"Sit down baby" Christian says, he is practically bouncing with anticipation and excitement and I take a seat beside my father and Christian sits down on my other side.

"Do you know what's going on?" I ask Ray

He glances at Christian and then simply nods, but doesn't say anything.

Christian leans towards me "It's no good baby, everyone has been sworn to secrecy" he whispers and he kisses my neck softly.

The flight is relatively short and when we land I see everyone grinning at me.

Christian turns to me, "Trust me baby?" he asks and I nod.

"With my life" I say sincerely and he pulls out a tie from his pocket and raises his eyebrows as I gasp in recognition, it's my favourite silver embossed one and I blush Christian grins wickedly and then places it over my eyes so I can't see a thing. "It's not what you are thinking baby" he murmurs in my ear so only I can hear and then runs his fingers down my cheek I feel his lips on mine.

"Good job too Mr Grey" I whisper back

"Ok then how many fingers am I holding up?" he says in a louder voice.

"I have no idea I can't see anything" I reply

Christian kisses me again "good" he says. I feel him grasp my hand and pull me to my feet and then I feel him lift me into his arms, and start walking. I am clinging to him as I feel him walking down the steps of the plane, the air feels very warm and I wonder where we are.

I hear conversations about who is going in which car, and I suddenly think of my father, "Christian make sure Ray is ok" I whisper in his ear as he sets me on my feet.

I feel his smile, "it's fine baby, don't worry, Ray is already on his way with my mom and dad, its Kate who is causing issues she wants to come with us and she won't share a car with Gideon and Eva, which was the original plan, I hear the irritated note in his voice, and I hope Kate doesn't spoil whatever it is Christian has planned.

My hearing, smell and touch seem to be hyper aware since Christian put the blindfold over my eyes and I can hear Gideon and Elliot talking quietly, I strain to listen.

"If you don't say something to her I will, this is about Christian and Ana, not Kate and as Christian's brother I'm pretty convinced you don't want her to spoil everything" I shiver at the way Gideon spits the word her. Christian feels my shudder and immediately worries I am cold or something. I assure him I am fine and kiss him I have no idea where I have kissed but I hear him chuckle so he obviously liked it. I return my attention back to Elliot and Gideon, Elliot has said something to Gideon which I missed and now he appears to have moved as his voice is coming from another direction and he is talking to Kate.

"Kate will you behave, what on earth is wrong with you, after what Ana and Christian have gone through they deserve this to go well without you kicking off through some petty jealousy, Ana can be friends with other people besides you, you know, and Eva seems to be a very nice person, Gideon helped plan this so it is inevitable Eva has been more involved than you have, so grow up and stop being so damn childish about it. It was all arranged in Seattle, Ray was to go with Mom and Dad, and you, me, Ethan and Mia were to ride with Gideon and Eva in the limo, Christian and Ana are in the SUV.

I hear Kate mutter something but miss the details, the next thing I hear is Eva saying loudly, "Come on Kate, I've heard so much about you from Ana, we need to compare notes on our friend, come and ride with us"

There is more muttering and eventually I feel Christian lifting me again and climbing into a car and setting me beside him and pulling a seatbelt around me. He grasps my hand tightly and kisses my knuckles and then I hear him quietly take a deep breath and sigh, his hands are shaking and I realise he's scared, he's nervous about whatever it is he has planned. So I turn towards him and reach out my free hand searching for him, he grasps it tightly, and kisses it, I stroke his face.

"Christian, if I forget later...thank you and I had a really great time today" I say quietly

There is a silence but I feel him squeeze my hands.

When the car eventually stops I feel Christian moving away from me, "Wait here a moment baby" he says and kisses my cheek, I hear the car door open I feel Christian exit and I hear the driver getting out as well and then the door closes, a moment later I hear it open again and someone getting in, I know instinctively its not Christian.

"Who is this? Where's Christian?" I ask panicking slightly.

"It's ok Ana, relax, it's me Luke" he says quietly,

I immediately calm "I didn't know you were here, I didn't see you on the plane?" I ask

"No Ma'am, Mr Grey flew me out here beforehand to help organise security and oversee the final arrangements, T is here as well as you know, he drove you both here, and Ryan is also here, he flew out with me, and Mr Cross has Angus here as well"

"Ryan?" I ask

"Yes Ma'am he has been part of Mr Grey's security team for a while and he got upgraded to CPO status for this trip, I'm sure Mr Grey will introduce you to him at some point".

I nod, "Luke?" I ask

"Yes ma'am" he replies

"Do you know what Christian and Gideon have planned?" I ask

"Yes Ma'am" he replies

"But you can't tell me" I say

"No Ma'am" he says

I sigh, "but I will say it's really nice" he says "I can't tell you any more than that or T will have my balls" he adds in a matter of fact voice.

I giggle at that. I hear the door open again and feel Luke exit the car.

"Ok baby I'm back" I hear Christians voice again. "I am going to get you out the car now and I am going to let you walk ok, you need to hold on to me so you don't fall" he says.

I nod, "ok" I say

I hear Christian close the car door and the door my side opens and I feel Christian lean over me and undo my seatbelt and then grasp my hand. "Ok baby, mind your head" he says and places his other hand on my head as I climb out of the car. After the air conditioned car the heat hits me. Christian takes my arm and places it through his, and slowly we walk, we turn left and I hear birds singing and water, suddenly he stops and finally takes off my blindfold I blink furiously at the brightness and as my eyes become accustomed to it I gasp as I look around me.

I see a beautiful garden with thousands of flowers, in beds and cut flowers in arrangements around a fountain there are birds in cages hanging from the trees dotted around the garden, and there is an ornamental archway type structure with ribbons and flowers attached to it underneath it is a bench similarly decorated with flowers and ribbons. Christian leads me over to it and sits me down on it, I notice for the first time I'm not wearing my engagement ring, Christian must have slipped it off my finger after he blind folded me, I vaguely remember him playing with it in the car. He kneels in front of me. "Ana, I told you the way I proposed wasn't what I had planned so I thought I'd go for a do over, Ana will you marry me...now, today, here!?" he waits.

I grin then I register his exact words, "Now? Today? Here?" I ask in astonishment.

He nods, but his smile slips at my tone, "When we walk into that courtroom I want you to walk in as Mrs Grey, I don't want to wait another moment, I want you to be my wife and I want it now, not only because I love you more than anything, but it will send a powerful message to everyone that you are mine and as such they won't be able to hurt you again, plus after what we have been through in the past few weeks and then losing our baby, I just ...I just need this I need us to be as one, please baby, what do you say?"

He waits and looks at me, how can I deny him this? I understand why he has done it and I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him "Yes Christian, I will marry you, today" I say.

He pushes my ring on and pulls me to my feet, holding me to him and he kisses me soundly and deeply. When we break apart we are both gasping, he grabs my hand and marches towards a small building on the far side of the garden, I look around we are in some kind of holiday resort, I see signs for restaurants, a golf course and other attractions and facilities, as we enter the building we are in what appears to be a bedroom suite, inside are Kate, Eva and Grace, and a huge clothes bag. I stare at it in confusion.

"It's your wedding dress darling" Grace says.

My mouth drops open, "but?" I say

Eva laughs, "Christian got someone to send over a selection of dresses and Grace, Kate and I narrowed them down to what we thought you'd like and we all picked out our favourites and you get to have the final say on which one you want to wear".

I nod totally overwhelmed as Grace unzips the bag, inside are six dresses I know immediately which ones Kate picked as I know her taste so well, I look through them all and suddenly I see the one, it is so simple and yet so beautiful, slightly off the shoulder it is cut nicely and when I try it on it fits like a glove, "This one" I whisper and I see Grace smile.

"We knew it!" Eva squeals, as soon as we all saw that one we knew that was what you'd go for, Kate said we may as well get rid of all the others, but you know we wanted to give you the illusion of having a say!" she grins and I burst out laughing.

Grace and Kate re-pack all the other dresses, "Christian has decided you are having three bridesmaids" Eva says.

I nod, "you, Kate and Mia?" I ask

Eva smiles and nods back at me, "Gideon and Taylor are groomsmen and Elliot is best man" she adds.

"Where is Mia?" I ask

"She'll be here soon" Grace replies.

"Who is helping my dad?" I ask as I remember the wheelchair on the plane.

Grace smiles and puts her hand on my shoulder, "Don't worry Carrick, Elliot and Christian are on hand for him, as are Luke and Jason, should he need them but as we've all discovered he is very independent"

I smile, "is that your polite way of saying stubborn as hell!" I say

"I wouldn't dream of it" Grace replies.

After I have freshened up there is a knock at the door and a young woman enters to do our make up and hair, as I get ready I suddenly think of my mother, I feel ashamed that I haven't given her a thought until this moment.

"What's wrong Steele?" Kate asks

"My mom, why isn't she here?" I whisper, I see Kate glance at Grace and Grace looks at Eva and they all look uncomfortable and unsure of what to say.

"What did she do now?" I ask

Kate takes my hand and starts to speak "I'm so sorry Ana, Christian called her to invite her and told her of his plans, he offered to send his plane for her and Bob to join us but she refused, she said she couldn't just drop everything because Mr Moneybags clicks his fingers and demands it and she hung up on him so Gideon called her and explained the situation, he told her about the baby and how it had affected you and Christian and he tried to reason with her, and he even offered his plane, that made her even more angry she said she had said no to the great Christian Grey so he got his rich buddy to try and force her to come, then Ray called her and he ended up laying into her, I've never seen him so angry I mean Ray doesn't do angry, even Grace and I called her and asked her if she really wanted to miss her own daughters wedding" Kate stops and looks down.

"What did she say?" I ask but I have a rough idea of what she said. Kate looks uncomfortable.

"She said that you never needed her, so why should she and that she has even had to find out from someone else that you lost the baby, that you couldn't be bothered to tell her yourself, someone else told her, someone she didn't even know or realised that you knew let alone were friends with, but she said she was relieved that you had and that was a blessing in disguise, and you would see that eventually, you were too young to be tied down with a child. She said you always preferred Ray and she could have gone to hell for all you cared so now you were marrying Christian, you were his problem now and she didn't want to interfere with your new life and your fancy new family, and she didn't appreciate Grace calling her and rubbing her nose in it that she had stolen her daughter away from her".

I shake my head but I refuse to cry, I am actually shocked I expected something along those lines but not quite the viciousness and to say that she was glad I had lost my baby was unforgivable.

Grace folds me into her arms, and comforts me. I shake my head and gently push Grace away. "I'm fine" I say in a strong voice, "if that's how she feels then fair enough, she has never been there for me so I will do as she wants, I have a fiancé who would die for me, a mother in law who has been more of a mother in the short time I have known her than my own has been my entire life, I have my daddy, and I have my friends and new extended family, I couldn't wish for better people to be surrounded by I'm sorry she feels like that but the really sad thing is it doesn't totally surprise me".

I look around and see everyone staring at me, "I'm fine honestly" I say "Now lets get ready, I'm getting married!" I add.


	34. Chapter 34

CHAPTER 34

As we are just about finished the door opens and Mia walks in, at least I think its Mia as all I see is a huge bouquet of flowers.

"Hi everyone" she says and gently puts the flowers down.

There is a huge bouquet for me in a teardrop shape and three smaller round ones for my bridesmaids.

"I've just dropped off the button holes to Christian and he was so rude, he just snatched them from me and told me to get a move on and get ready, no thank you or anything, honestly mom you need to have a word with him" Mia does look quite upset, and I know Christian is obviously stressing about something. I pull Grace to one side.

"Grace please go and find out what is wrong, with Christian, I can't go he can't see me before the ceremony"

Grace nods and slips from the room. Mia quickly gets ready and the whirlwind around her is soon complete. As I watch I go over what Kate told me about what my mom had said to me, I can always rely on Kate to tell me like it is, I saw Eva and Grace's reaction, and I know they probably wouldn't have told me like Kate did, but I know Kate and I know she treats the unpleasant things in life like the band aid to pull off, just do it and get it over with, tact isn't a strong point of hers I can always rely on her to be honest with me, and this was brutally honest, but somehow unsurprising. My attention is drawn to the door as Grace returns and smiles at me. She walks over to me and touches my arm.

"He's fine, he's anxious and so he is just in full - I am in control and you will do as I say mode, but basically he is anxious because he wants today to be perfect - for you". I smile at Grace's words. I see Grace turn to Mia and tell her that Christian apologised for his rudeness earlier.

There is a knock at the door, and Carrick's voice comes through the closed door "Is everyone decent?"

Grace quickly glances around, "Yes, come in Cary" she calls, the door opens and Carrick comes in pushing Ray in his wheelchair, he is holding a pair of crutches in his hand.

"Dad what do you think you are doing with those?" I ask staring at them suspiciously.

"Annie, if you think I am sitting in this damn thing to give you away, you have another think coming, its bad enough I can't walk you down the aisle but I'll be damned if I sit down to give you away" I can tell my dad isn't happy about missing the chance to walk me down the aisle, I think for a moment and inspiration hits me I head to my purse and pull my phone out and make my call, everyone is staring at me.

"Christian" I say when he answers

"Ana what's wrong are you ok?" he asks immediately panic stricken

"Calm down Christian. Yes I'm fine, listen, when you walked me to the building from that garden I saw signs for a golf course, Do they have golf carts?"

"I'm not sure, I would assume so, hang on, Gideon does the golf course have golf carts?" he asks I hear Gideon reply yes they do.

"Yes they do" Christian confirms.

"They do, listen do you think they would let us borrow one, my dad can't walk me down the aisle but there is nothing to say he can't drive me, you said the ceremony was in that garden place, so do you think it would be possible? " I ask excitement rising.

"Baby if you want a golf cart then you will have a golf cart" Christian says, I hear him relaying my request to Gideon and then Gideon obviously on the phone in the background telling someone to fetch a cart.

"Thank you, I love you" I say

"Baby you know I would do anything for you, although your request for a golf cart wasn't actually on my radar, but it's an excellent idea... I love you" he says, "Is that everything, or do you need anything else?" he adds.

"No that's everything, I'll see you very soon" I say. I end the call and turn and smile at everyone. "I have to say marrying a billionaire does have its advantages at times" I glance around at everyone and ask a question that has been bugging me since we arrived. "Just out of interest, where exactly are we?" I ask.

Everyone laughs Eva steps forward, "We are at the Crosswinds resort in the Caribbean, Gideon owns it and he and Christian have been on the phone organising everything while you were in the hospital and for the last couple of weeks.

My mouth drops open, I never expected that and all the calls now make complete sense, they weren't discussing Nathan they were planning the wedding. There is a knock at the door and Luke is standing there.

"Time to head out" he says, I smile at him dressed in a smart suit and tie, he always wears a suit and tie but this is much nicer than his work outfit.

Grace hugs me tightly and whispers good luck in my ear and then she leaves with Carrick, Kate, Mia and Eva crowd round me and Eva asks if I have everything.

"I think so" I reply

"Have you got your something old, new, borrowed and blue?" Kate asks

I quickly think, "Erm, new is my dress, borrowed, Grace lent me this necklace" I say touching the beautiful pearl necklace around my neck, "something blue I have my garter" I smile at Mia who had given me the blue garter, "something old...I don't have anything old" I say

"Annie, I can help with that" I turn and my dad is reaching into his inside pocket. He pulls out a small tissue and opens it carefully.

"Annie, this belonged to my grandmother so it's really old and she wore on her wedding day, my mother wore it on her wedding day, and she gave it to me to give to you for when you married, and hopefully one day you will have a daughter to pass it on to.

I feel a huge lump come into my throat, I gasp when I see the most beautiful bracelet, I hold out my arm and Ray fastens it to my wrist.

"Thank you daddy, its beautiful, I love you" I say and hug him tightly.

When we part I pull myself together, "Ok then lets do this thing" I say.

We head out the garden Luke is pushing my dad's wheelchair and helps him into the golf cart, I smile when I see it has hurriedly been festooned with flowers. I take the seat beside Ray, and I watch as my three bridesmaids walk down the makeshift aisle towards the fountain where Christian proposed earlier, the bench has been moved and now it is where he is waiting with an official, Gideon and Elliot under the decorated archway. It is small intimate and perfect. I see Christian fidgeting and I am surprised Christian never fidgets, he must be so nervous. We wait and then music starts to play and Ray slowly drives the golf cart down the aisle, Carrick and Taylor rush to his side to help him out and Luke appears with the wheelchair and crutches, he shakes his head at Luke and reaches to take the crutches. I roll my eyes but Luke just smiles at him and hands him the crutches, Taylor quickly moves the golf cart away and then returns taking his seat.

Christian is staring at me his eyes glowing with love, he leans forward, "you look beautiful baby" he whispers.

"You don't look so bad yourself, you scrub up pretty well Grey" I retort.

The ceremony starts, Ray is leaning heavily on his crutches and I am concerned but when he gives me away, he clearly states "I do" when the official asks who gives me to be married. He puts my hand on Christian's and gripping Christian's hand he leans forward and whispers to him.

"Remember what I said" he says so only Christian and I can hear and Christian nods solemnly.

Taylor and Luke quickly stand and they help Ray into a seat, and things proceed until we get to the vows, I don't want to say generic vows I want mine to be from the heart and mean something so I stop the official. "Please wait, I don't have anything prepared as today was a complete surprise to me, but I want my vows to be from my heart, not generic out dated words" I stop and see Christian stare at me then smile. I glance at the official and he gestures towards me.

I grasp Christians hand and look him straight in the eye, I open my mouth speak from my heart "Christian, I promise to love you unconditionally, respect you, I will give you solace and support you in your times of need, and I promise to be there for you, always to be honest and truthful with you and I promise that I will always be faithful to you, you are my safe place I promise to always be yours, You are my everything the sun rises and sets with you and I endeavour to be that for you too, now today and always, for ever". I stop and wait staring at him, he is looking at me but i can't make out what he is thinking, but something tells me he is upset about something, he smiles but the smile doesn't reach his eyes. What's wrong? I quickly run through my vows what could I have said which upset him. I wait and after what seems like an eternity he starts to speak.

"Ana, I love you, you are my everything, my life I cannot breath without you I promise to love you and only you, I will cherish you and keep you safe at my side, I promise to do my best to help you realise your dreams and ambitions in life and do my best to balance your independence with my need for control, all that is mine is now yours and I give you everything I am and have for ever". He stops and I smile.

I replay what he has said in my head and the tone of his voice when he said he would do his best to balance my independence with his need for control, and it hits me what he is upset about, It wasn't what I said to him it was what I didn't say, I didn't promise to obey him.

The rest of the ceremony goes well and as the official says the words, "you may kiss the bride" Christian grabs me pulling me against him he places one hand on my behind and presses me against him and kisses me forcefully almost painfully so. I can hardly breathe and I can feel his growing arousal. , I know what is happening he is upset and he is making a point here, the point that he is in control.

There is a gasp from everyone at his behaviour and Elliot comments "Christian, save it for the wedding night bro" he pulls away and smiles again it doesn't reach his eyes and I sigh, we need to talk about this before he blows it out of all proportion.

We walk down the aisle past our family and we head inside as we do so I pull him into an empty room.

"Christian what's wrong?" I ask, although I know exactly what his problem is.

"Your vows, Ana, why won't you obey me? "he asks immediately, bingo I knew it, "You made a point of not promising to obey, with your comment that you didn't want to say generic out dated vows" he continues and when he stops I can see the hurt and frustration in his eyes. I smile at him and touch his cheek I speak to him slowly and deliberately looking him straight in the eye. Sometimes its like dealing with a child when it comes to Christian's insecurity.

"Christian if you don't already know the answer to that question then we should never have just got married, focus on what I did say rather than what I didn't" I say to him. He stops and thinks and I see the familiar fear and panic, evolve into self hatred and consume him, he pulls me into his arms.

"Oh God, baby I'm so sorry, I love you, forgive me, please forgive me" he says

I wrap my arms around him and hold him tightly, "Always" I say.

I feel him relax and I know he has let it go when he looks at me again and his smile lights up his entire face.

"Shall we rejoin our family and friends Mrs Grey?" he says

"Lets" I say he takes me by the hand and leads me out.

"There you are!" Grace exclaims when she sees us.

"Jeez bro couldn't you wait!" Elliot says salaciously.

"Elliot, stop it!" Grace says to him, but Elliot just grins, I can't help but retort to Elliot's remark.

"What makes you think it was Christian who instigated those moments alone?!" I say with raised eyebrows.

Elliot's mouth drops open and he stands there opening and shutting his mouth like a goldfish. Christian throws his head back and roars with laughter, he wraps his arm around me.

"You just got owned bro" he says wiping his eyes, he leans down and kisses me on the lips a small chaste kiss; I touch his cheek as I respond to him and deepen the kiss.

"Come on guys keep it clean" I hear Gideon say behind us, we turn and he embraces me and kisses my cheek and slaps Christian on the back.

Christian shakes Gideon's hand and embraces him, "Thanks for all your help organising this" he says to him.

"No problem" Gideon replies.

I wrap my arms around Gideon's waist and hug him tightly, "Yes thank you Gideon" I say.

"You are more than welcome" he says smiling down at me. I feel Christian gently pull me out of Gideon's arms, and place me firmly at his side.

We all sit down to eat and the meal is lovely, we cut the cake and photographs are taken and as the day wears on and turns into evening we know we have all drunk a little too much. It is nearly 10pm I have danced with Carrick, Elliot, Gideon and of course Christian, I walk over to my dad, I had noticed he was watching me dancing with Christian.

"Hi daddy have you had a good time?" I ask

He smiles and nods, "I have, you will make one hell of a wife Annie I am so proud of you, now will you make your old man really happy and dance with me?"

I gape at him, "Dad I'd love to but you can't" I say

I see him look across and nod at Taylor and Luke who immediately walk over and help him out of his chair, Taylor walks over to the band and says something to them. They stare at him as if he is mad and he raises his eyebrows at them, they nod and all raise their instruments then start to play Twinkle, Twinkle little star, I feel the tears start to flow, Ray used to sing this to me when I was child, this was our special song and he remembers that.

"Hey Annie don't cry, lets just enjoy this I can't dance as such but we'll just sway here a little ok?" I nod and rest my head against his shoulder, as he wraps his arms around me and very quietly I hear him singing Twinkle Twinkle little star in my ear. The whole room has gone quiet and I know everyone is watching us. When the band stops playing, Taylor and Luke walk over and help my dad back into his chair. Everyone is clapping and Christian walks over and wraps his arm around me.

"That was beautiful baby" he whispers to me and kisses me, he leans down and shakes Ray's hand, "thank you for giving me your daughter Ray" he says.

Ray just nods, but doesn't say a word.


	35. Chapter 35

CHAPTER 35

Christian disappears for a while, and while he is gone, I find a few moments to talk with Luke and Jason who are sitting watching the room, they are supposed to be off duty tonight and guests but I can see they are not totally relaxing.

"Do you know where Christian went?" I ask, I watch as they exchange glances and Taylor nods at me.

"Yes Mrs Grey" he says with a slight smile.

"So you are sworn to secrecy" I say in a resigned tone

"Yes Mrs Grey" he says again. I look at the rings on my finger, I am Mrs Grey, Mrs Christian Grey, hearing Taylor say it sounds almost unreal as though he is talking about someone else, but to hear it gave me a thrill.

I pull myself from my thoughts, "Guys I just wanted to thank you both for the way you looked after my dad today, I am really grateful and I just wanted to say I really appreciate it".

Luke nods and smiles and Taylor politely replies, "It was no trouble Mrs Grey, Mr Steele is a fine man we had a long chat about our time in the military, turns out we were in the same special ops unit albeit a few years apart. Its astonishing really the coincidences we keep unearthing".

I snort, "Well at least this one was a nice coincidence, not like the previous links which have come to light".

Luke and Taylor nod, as i am about to say something else I feel Christian's presence behind me.

"Are you ready?" Christian asks me as he comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist.

"Ready?" I reply and turn in his arms to face him.

He pulls me towards him, and moves us towards the door "Hmmm well Mrs Grey, I plan to take you to our room, and undress you and then make love to you all night" he whispers seductively. As he grasps me he pulls me close to him and I feel his arousal.

"I see" I reply, "well if you put it like that how could I possibly refuse" I add.

Christian takes my hand and we say good night to everyone, Ray has already gone to bed and so has Grace and Carrick, but Elliot and Kate look as though they are settled in for the night, and Kate is talking freely with Eva, Ethan is also sitting with them and he smiles and bids us goodnight. I say good night to Ethan and smile at Kate, I am glad she has got over what ever was eating her about Eva. Gideon walks over he says goodnight to us before he pulls Christian to one side and whispers something in his ear and Christian nods, and thanks him.

We walk down a corridor until we reach a room and Christian turns and picks me up into his arms. I laugh at him, he opens the door and I gasp at what I see, the bed has rose petals all over it, there is a bottle of champagne beside the bed and flowers everywhere. He carries me to the bathroom and there is freshly run bath with a huge amount of bubbles surrounded by lit candles. This is obviously what he was doing when he had disappeared.

"Do you like it?" he whispers to me; I can hear the anxious tone of his voice.

"Christian it's wonderful, you have spoilt me today" I say.

"You are my wife, it's my job to spoil you" he says.

I feel my stomach leap when he says those words. He carries me back into the bedroom and undresses me and then when both of us are totally naked he carries me back to the bathroom and climbs into the bath with me in his arms, he lets me slide down his body and then he sits pulling me down with him as I sit between his legs he pulls me into his lap and starts to kiss me gently and nuzzle my neck, his hand start to roam over my breasts and he kneads them, and pulls on my nipple, I moan and turn around, straddling him, I suddenly freeze.

"What's wrong baby?" Christian asks noting my sudden change in demeanour.

"Birth control, I'm not on anything at the moment" I say.

Christian smiles "It's ok" he says and reaches behind him to the shelf behind the bath, and shows me a box of condoms.

"We will use these tonight, alright?"

I nod and relax I take the box from him and pull out a foil packet, he watches me as I rip it open and roll it on him and then hovering over him I slowly lower myself down, he sighs as he enters me and I close my eyes as I feel him inside me.

"Do you feel ok?" he asks anxiously

I nod and I start to move, he moans and grips my hips, the water is sloshing over the side of the bath but neither of us are paying any attention, this is the first of a night of passion, which lasts well into the early hours of the morning, eventually I can't take any more and I feel myself falling asleep. Christian takes pity on me and kisses me gently.

"Ok Mrs Grey lets go to sleep" he says quietly

"Hmmm" I murmur practically asleep.

The next thing I know I am waking up and Christian is wrapped around me and the sun is pouring in through the window, I glance at the clock and I am shocked to see it is nearly 10am Christian never sleeps in this long, I look at his hand and my finger runs along the platinum wedding ring on his finger, and I smile, Christian Grey is my husband and this ring says he belongs to me, I think of the hypocrisy of that thought as I always protest when Christian refers to me as belonging to him, as I lie there I hear my phone buzzing I reach over and see its my mom calling, I freeze and debate letting it go to voicemail, I decide to be a coward and do just that and I put my phone down again.

"Why didn't you answer your phone?" Christian asks and I jump violently

"Jeez don't do that, I thought you were asleep" I say

I hear him chuckle, and he kisses my shoulder, "Sorry baby, now answer my question, why did you not answer your phone?"

"It was my mom; I don't want confrontation as soon as I wake up so I thought I'd let it go to voicemail and then listen to it later"

"Ok" he says satisfied at my explanation.

I roll over to face him and I stare into his gorgeous grey eyes, I place my hand on his chest over his heart and still marvel that he tolerates me doing this so well now, I still always move slowly and deliberately so he knows exactly what my intentions are before I touch him and its not long before we are lost in each other again.

When we eventually exit our room and face the world we see Gideon and Eva sitting outside at a table with Elliot and Kate, and they all look as though they haven't been up very long and they are all severely hung over, Elliot is hunched over a mug of coffee and is wearing sunglasses and is incredibly pale, Eva and Kate look just as ill and Gideon is sitting with his head in his hands.

"Oh dear!" I say with a giggle as we walk up and take in the sorry scene. Moments later I see Ethan shuffling out slowly clutching a mug of coffee, he looks like death warmed up and manages a weak smile before sitting down next to Kate.

Christian snorts, and says good morning in a deliberately and annoyingly loud voice, the groans from around the table prove it wasn't a welcome greeting.

Gideon looks up lifting his head slowly, "Stop grinning like that Grey, this isn't funny, I never get in this state, your brother is a bad influence"

Christian rolls his eyes. "I have no sympathy whatsoever" he says, again in a louder than necessary voice.

"Stop it Christian" I say laughing at the reaction his loud comments have produced.

"Ana take your husband away please" Kate moans and Eva grunts in agreement.

I stare at everyone in smug amusement, "Come on Christian I'm hungry lets go get some food" I say the moans from the table at my words makes me smile and Christian puts his arm around me and leads me away.

As we are eating I pull my phone out and sigh, my mom has left a voicemail I look at Christian and he reaches for me and grips my hand tightly.

"I swear I didn't exclude her, I offered to send a plane for her she refused, everyone tried to get her to come, I swear I did my best to make sure she would be here for you" he stops speaking pleading with me with his eyes, I nod at him.

"I know, Kate told me everything yesterday, when I mentioned my mom wasn't here" I say.

I decide not to put off the moment any longer and call up my voicemail.

I put my phone to my ear and listen to the message. As I hear my mother's voice it becomes apparent very quickly she is rambling and sounds as though she has been drinking which shocked me considering the time of day.

"_Erm, hello Ana, its your mom, I am guessing by now if that man has got his way you are now Mrs Christian Grey, and I will probably never see you again. Don't let him keep you away from your real blood family Ana he wants to consume you and take you over, he wants to control you and suffocate you, you can't see this now, because you love him, but I can see it. It's a good job you lost the baby because you don't want to bring a child into that sort of relationship plus you are far too young to be tied down with the responsibilities of motherhood, I made that mistake, so I am glad you are being spared that burden and I hope that one day you will come to your senses and leave him. When you do make sure you take him for every damn penny. I am giving you this advice because I love you honey you will thank me in the long run, so goodbye Ana when you come to your senses you know where to find me" _

I hear the phone click and I sit in stunned silence, Christian frowns but doesn't say a word.

I hand my phone to him without a word and he presses the button and listens to the message, I see the fury on his face and then fear and finally self hatred, I grip his hand.

"Don't listen to her" I whisper. Christian shakes his head, totally speechless. "Christian is Ray still here, I need my dad right now?" I ask, he nods and pulls out his phone.

"Ray its Christian, do you have a few moments please, Ana needs you, we are in the dining room having a late breakfast...yes...we did...thanks Ray goodbye"

Christian looks at me and smiles at me, "He's on his way" he says, moments later Ray appears in his wheelchair being pushed by Taylor.

"What's happened?" he asks, he looks at me "Annie what's going on? I was in the bar chatting with Jason here and Christian called".

Christian gives Ray my phone and tells him to listen to the voicemail, he takes the phone and puts it to his ear and listens. He looks disgusted when he eventually places the phone on to the table.

"Well I knew she could stoop low but that is a new level even for her" he says sadly. He looks at me carefully and pulls me towards him. "Annie don't let her get to you sweetheart, she is a bitter woman, and she is jealous as hell because you have found your soul mate and she is still searching, and you are settled and have a life which she could only dream about, and instead of being happy that her daughter has done so well for herself she is being selfish and resentful".

I decide not to bother responding to her verbally, as I know she won't listen and I really can't face an argument instead I sit down and write her a letter, I pour out my heart and say everything that has ever been on my mind about our relationship. I want to close this once and for all, I am not prepared to have her in my life if she is going to behave like this. I feel this is the best way to do it as there can be no misunderstanding and she can re-read my point of view. I think of the email I sent to Christian when we first met when I went to Georgia, when I told him how I really felt.

Christian joins me just as I am finishing the final letter, he stares at the screwed up pieces of paper around me I have a few pages of notes and editing before I got a letter which I felt I was happy with, and I am reading it before I mail it.

"What are you doing baby?" he asks looking at the paper in my hand

"Writing to my mother, letting her know how I feel and hopefully setting her straight" I say, I hand him the letter and watch him read it.

"This is very good" he says when he has finished reading.

I take it from him and smile, "Thank you" I reply and I read through it one more time before I put it in the envelope.

_Dear Carla_

_How are you? I hope my letter finds you well. I was disappointed that you didn't take Christian up on his offer and join us and share our special day. _

_I am indeed married now and blissfully so, Christian is my soul mate and the best thing that ever happened to me and I am hurt and disappointed that you cannot accept that fact. He adores me and will do anything for me, and I am secure in the knowledge he will always be there for me. I am also sorry to say that I cannot say the same thing about you, I am upset that you feel the way you do about our relationship, but looking back surely you realise our relationship has never been a conventional mother/daughter one. Most of the time, I felt as though I was the adult in the relationship. I have always felt that you have never behaved like a mother to me. It is true I am closer to Ray than to you, that is because I could always count on Ray to be there as I was growing up, he attended my school functions, he sat up through the night with me when i was ill, or frightened from a nightmare, he was always the one who looked after me if I got hurt and he was the only source of constant stability in my life, he actually behaved like a parent towards me._

_Our relationship was at its worst when you left Ray and married Stephen, I know you went through a tough time with him and realised pretty quickly that you made a dreadful mistake, but up rooting me and dragging me to Texas with you when I had made it abundantly clear I wanted to stay in Montesano was not helpful. The fact you supported him against me until it became clear I was telling the truth about him was unforgivable, thankfully I managed to get away before he did anything too perverted to me but the fact you stood by him and not me hurt me greatly._

_I am very angry about the accusations you have levelled against my husband. Christian Grey is a wonderful man who lives to make me happy and I will not hesitate to defend him against your accusations. I am the first to admit he has issues with control but that is mainly due to his fundamental need to protect me. Christian had a complicated childhood before he was adopted by the Grey family which have left lasting emotional scars but I know and trust that he tries hard to balance my independence with his need for control. Christian tried his hardest to reach out to you to make sure you were included and part of our wedding, but you turned him down and rejected his kindness and generosity. I will not have you speak badly of Christian's mother, Grace - she is a wonderful woman who is kind and gentle she has welcomed me into her home and treated me like a daughter, something which I am afraid has been lacking from you all my life. I am sorry if what I am saying offends you or hurts you but the message you left me this morning, telling me to come to my senses and leave Christian and take him for every penny just goes to show you really don't know me at all if you could even think about saying such a thing to me, and I feel completely insulted that you did. Christian's wealth never has been and never will be a priority to me._

_Finally your callous and inappropriate comments regarding the loss of our baby were unforgivable. Both Christian and I were and still are devastated by the loss of our son. To hear you say it was a good thing left me cold and totally disgusted that you could even think let alone say such a wicked thing. I won't apologise if you feel that I ruined your life because you had me so young, because you made that decision Carla, you made the decision to keep me and I will not be made a scapegoat for your life choices, as I can honestly say you never raised me, Ray did and he may not have any biological connection to me but he has been a father __and__ mother to me all my life._

_Your behaviour has been totally unacceptable to me, I have over the years repeatedly forgiven your lack of maternal consideration and given you chance after chance to be a mother to me, and made excuses for your behaviour but now I have "come to my senses" as you put it, I am no longer willing to have you in my life until you accept that what you have said and done to me is completely wrong and you offer a sincere and unreserved apology to my husband, friends and my mother-in-law and begin to treat me, my husband, my friends and my new extended family with the respect that we all deserve._

_Goodbye Carla, please take care of yourself, I truly hope that you find what it is you have been searching for all your life and find the happiness and contentment that I have._

_Ana_


	36. Chapter 36

CHAPTER 36

I write on the envelope and sigh. I look up at Christian and he smiles at me taking the envelope from me.

"Are you sure you want to send this?" he asks holding it up.

I nod, "yes I am" I say firmly, he nods and sends a text, moments later Taylor appears, Christian hands him the envelope.

"Taylor can you make sure this gets mailed today" he says.

Taylor takes the envelope, nods and leaves the room.

"Ok baby everything is sorted we got everything packed while you were writing your letter and we are ready to go now" Christian says, pulling me towards him.

"Where are we going?" I ask

"On honeymoon of course" he says with a smirk.

I stare at him, I had assumed we would be staying here. I let him lead me out the SUV.

"Wait what about everyone else?" I ask I realise I've not said goodbye to everyone.

"It's alright they have already headed out to the airport, we will say our goodbyes there".

He has thought of everything, no wonder he was on the phone constantly with Gideon the past few weeks.

When we arrive at the airport, I see Christian's GEH jet, and two of Gideon's Cross Industries planes waiting, everyone is gathered and waiting to say goodbye. Grace hugs me tightly and Ray eases himself out of the wheelchair with a little help from Luke and kisses my cheek and shakes Christian's hand.

Christian looks around and smiles at everyone, "I would just like to say on behalf of my wife and I" he squeezes my hand as he says this, "thank you all for flying out and sharing our special day with us" he turns to Gideon, "and thank you for all your help in organising this and making it a success" Gideon waves his hand dismissively.

Elliot steps forward, "See you soon bro, I'm so happy to see you so content and happy at last" he says, embracing his brother.

"Thanks Lelliot" Christian replies and I see Elliot's eyes tear up at that comment.

Gideon walks over and they have the now ritual back slapping embrace. Mia is next she squeezes me tightly and then turns to Christian, "it was all lovely" she says and kisses his cheek.

With that we all separate and head to different planes, we go to Christian's along with Taylor, Grace, Carrick, my father, Mia, Elliot, Kate, Ethan, Luke and Ryan all head to one of Gideon's and Eva, Gideon and Angus take the third.

"So where are we going?" I ask as I settle myself in my seat.

"On honeymoon" Christian replies with a smirk

I roll my eyes, "Durr I got that much, where?" I ask

Christian says nothing but the smirk gets bigger.

I see Stephan appear, "Sir ETA is 22:45 GMT" Christian nods, i quickly look at my watch and I think about what I have just heard, GMT, that's Greenwich Mean Time.

"Christian are you taking me to England?" I ask carefully

I see the look on his face and I know for sure he is, "How?" he asks and then realises. "You are too smart for your own good Mrs Grey" he says and plants a wet kiss on my lips, "yes I am taking you to England, we are going to spend some time in London, York, Stratford upon Avon, and other places which have literary connections to the books you love". He looks at me closely watching my reaction to this news. I fling my arms around him and kiss him repeatedly.

"Thank you thank you thank you thank you" I say in an excited rush kissing him between each thank you. He laughs loudly and squeezes me.

"Anything for my wife" he says.

_I look around me, where am I, I am in that warehouse place I see Eva she is beside me, I hear voices, and I see Morton, Elena, Damien and another man a faceless man I realise that this must be Nathan as Eva has reacted to him. We sit there and we are unable to move, I look at Eva and I see the fear on her face. My attention moves to Morton and the faceless man the faceless man is climbing on top of Eva she is screaming and unable to push him away, I feel Morton near me and I vomit._

"_She's pregnant" I hear Elena say_

_Then I feel the pain across my stomach, I gasp and I feel blood I am losing my baby, my mother appears from nowhere, Morton and Elena have vanished and I see Carla bend and then she is walking away with something in her hand which is covered in blood, she has my baby, she is taking my baby away._

"_NO, MY BABY DON'T TAKE MY BABY I WANT TO SEE HIM"_

"_This has to be done Ana, you don't want to make the same mistake as I did, this is a blessing this is for the best" she walks away._

"_NO" I scream out_

_Then I see him, Christian is running towards me, he looks at the baby in Carla's hand, "Ana, Ana" he calls..._

"Ana, Ana, baby wake up please baby wake up" I open my eyes and I realise I have been asleep, Christian is beside himself he is holding me tightly and tears are in his eyes, he strokes my back which is drenched in sweat.

I look up at him, "Christian?" I gasp, I look around me I am in the bed room on the plane, I remember where I am and what is happening, I had felt a little tired and come in here for a nap. I look at the bed and it is in a mess I have obviously been thrashing about. Christian tugs me into his lap and rocks me.

"I'm sorry, I had a dream" I say quietly

"What about?" he asks gently

I take a deep breath and tell him my dream, he listens to me and continues to rock me.

"You are obviously reacting to everything you have been through recently; you are still grieving for our son, and the fact you never saw him to say goodbye, I'm sorry, if I had been in my right mind and not so busy selfishly losing control I would have made sure you were able to see him when you came round and say good bye to him, forgive me Ana I failed you in so many ways that horrible day". I wrap my arms around him.

"Christian don't, it doesn't matter, really, you were hurting you were scared you were facing life and death at its rawest, something you have purposely shied away from for years, I was unconscious I was in a way protected from the worst of that at the time, you have been wonderful since then, you have been there for me, you have been my rock supporting me and comforting me, then you organised our wonderful wedding and now we are going on honeymoon, I am the luckiest girl in the world because I have you in my life" I kiss him.

There is a silence for a moment, "When we get home to Seattle, would you like me to organise a memorial service or something, just us and family so you can say goodbye to our son?" he asks, I can see he still feels bad about it.

I shake my head, "No that's not necessary really, I have you to help me, that's all I need" I say quietly.

"Ok if you change your mind baby just give me the word" he says. I nod and snuggle close to him.

"Lets go for a shower, wash way your nightmare" Christian says, he stands and pulls me towards the small shower room. I follow him and soon I am standing under the water as Christian carefully and reverently washes me. He doesn't make any sexual overtures towards me and I am secretly quite glad, I am just not in the mood at the moment.

I am still quiet when we reach London and arrive at our hotel. I have heard Gideon's name mentioned a few times and I'm pretty sure that this is one that he owns. The manager welcomes us and falls over himself to assure us of his best intentions during our stay.

"Thank you but my wife is tired we just want to get to our room" Christian says politely.

We are shown to a beautiful suite and I head straight into the bedroom, I am tired I feel drained from the bad dream I had on the plane. As I look out of the window over London I smile, my husband has realised one of the dreams I had and we have only been married a day. I suddenly need him to know how much I love him and I go to find him. When I reach the door I hear him talking and I realise he must be on the phone.

"...but I'm worried John, you didn't see her ...I know, she has been through so much recently and most of that is my fault,...no it is John she wouldn't have ever been on Elena's radar if I had never met her, and she would still have some sort of relationship with her mother, and she definitely wouldn't be grieving the loss of a child...I know, I know...so that's your professional advice, just be there for her and listen to her, comfort her and let her talk it out...ok...yes I can see your point...yes...thanks John, Goodnight". I hear him sigh, I wait a few seconds and then head out. His head whips up and he smiles at me.

"Everything ok baby?" he asks uncertainly

I walk over to him and climb into his lap and wrap my arms around him. "Have I told you recently how much I love you?" I whisper in his ear.

I feel him tighten his grip on me, "You may have mentioned it once or twice" he says with a grin.

"Christian, I'm sorry if I scared you when I had that dream, it seemed so real. But I know you will always be there for me and you have no idea how that makes me feel, I have more family now than I have ever had in my life, Grace has become more of a mother to me in the short time I have known her than my own mother has ever been, and I know you don't like it but I look on Gail as a sort of surrogate mom too, I have confided in her a few times about things. I have brother and sister now and I love Elliot and Mia to bits" I stop and touch Christian's cheek, "and then I have you" I snuggle closer and hold him to me, "You are the most loving, generous person I have ever met we have been married a day and you have fulfilled one of my biggest life ambitions for me, it has been a dream of mine to visit England ever since I was a little girl. I know that you will do anything for me if it is within your power to, and you will move heaven and earth to find a way if it's not. I know that you love me and will protect me with everything you have, I have no idea how I can compete with any of that and you do overwhelm me sometimes with the scale of what you can do, all I can give you in return is my love and I give all the love I have willingly and completely to you, I don't mean the sex although that is nice" I blush furiously "but I love you totally and unconditionally Christian, do you believe that because I need you to believe that" I stop and look at him.

He stares at me the love evident in his face as he looks straight into my eyes, "I'm beginning to, I can't understand what you see in me though, all I have thought I ever had to offer anyone was my wealth and sex, but you don't care about my wealth and although you clearly enjoy our sex life you give me so much more"

I laugh, "That is exactly what I think too, what the hell does he see in me, little mousy Ana Steele, nerd and bookworm, who is awkward and nowhere near your league"

"Ana you are a beautiful person inside and out and you...you I don't know all I know is I feel privileged that you chose me, fucked up fifty shades me as the man you fell in love with, and i am the one not worthy"

I laugh, "Ok we will be going on like this all night if we are not careful, I just want ...no I need you to know and understand how much I love you Christian, and you are worthy, you are a good man Christian Grey". I stop looking intently at him, he smiles his shy smile and buries his head into my neck.


	37. Chapter 37

CHAPTER 37

After a good night's sleep I am excited to get out and about and see the sights of London. Taylor has arranged a rental car for us, Christian stares at it. I know it is much smaller than what he is used to riding in, I see Taylor trying to hide his amusement.

"Well are we going?" I ask eager to get going.

Christian smiles and opens the car door for me, we see all the main sights, The Houses of Parliament, Trafalgar Square, Buckingham Palace, Downing Street, Westminster Abbey, St Pauls Cathedral, I am in my element taking photographs of them all, I have only ever seen these places on the TV or in books to be actually standing here is unbelievable. The first thing Christian did this morning before we left the hotel was present me with a new camera, a compact point and shoot, but a top of the range one none the less.

The best thing about being here is the fact Christian isn't that well known and we are pretty much left alone, it's a liberating feeling. We see the changing of the guard and it's a spectacular sight. Christian takes me to the Tower of London and we see the crown jewels, and he has booked a boat to take us on a cruise down the River Thames, I listen enthralled to the commentary informing us of all the buildings along the waters edge, we pass one which the guide informs us is where Charles Dickens stayed for a while. We end up at Greenwich and see a magnificent building which we are informed is a Naval Museum and on a hill in the distance the Greenwich observatory is pointed out to us. As we are heading back to our hotel in the early evening I feel my phone vibrating, I dive into the pocket of my jeans and pull it out glancing at the screen, I smile as I see Eva's name.

"Eva!" I say brightly

"Hi how's London?" she asks

"It's good so much to see, I'm like a kid in a candy store" I say with a giggle "Anyway what can I do for you?" I ask

"I'm sorry to bother you, but Gideon received a call today... from your mom, he told me not to say anything as he didn't want to spoil your honeymoon but I thought you'd want to know" she sounds apologetic.

I sit up straighter and Christian immediately is on alert.

"Why would she call Gideon?" I ask totally confused.

"Well, when he called her, he called her from his private cell phone, you know when he called her, when he tried to persuade her to attend the wedding, _so _she obviously has his number now, and it appears she received some sort letter this morning, from you?" I close my eyes and cringe.

"Hell she got that quickly, what did she do?" I ask in a resigned tone

"It wasn't pretty, he put the call on speaker and I heard everything, she was rambling about how Christian had poisoned you against her and how you would have never said all those horrible things to her if it wasn't for him and she said that if Gideon were the friend he said he was he should use some of his influence and separate you and Christian and forcibly if necessary take you away from him". My mouth drops open.

"Shit" I say before I can stop myself, "Is Gideon there now?" I ask

"Hell no, that's why I am calling you, Gideon told her that as far as he was concerned you and Christian were very happy and he wasn't going to interfere in your relationship for anyone and considering what she had said to him previously, he said he was surprised she had the cheek to even ask, and from what he recalled, whatever you had said to her was obviously deserved from the way she had previously behaved. As you can imagine that didn't go down too well with her and she called him a few choice names before making a few threats and then she hung up. Gideon says he was going to call Christian later, because she made threats about going to the media, but in the meantime he has put his people on alert for anything appearing but as yet nothing has broken here, I called Kate and gave her a heads up about it – with her dad being big in the media I thought it would help to have someone on the inside, I'm sorry to spoil your honeymoon with this Ana but I thought you should know"

I close my eyes and I feel tears threaten, "No thank you Eva, I appreciate you telling me and for everything you have done, listen Christian is here would you mind telling him what you have just told me?"

"Erm, well Gideon said he was going to call but I guess I could" she says.

I hand my phone over to Christian who is getting more agitated by the second, "It's Eva" I say as i pass the phone to him.

I see him listen carefully, Taylor is paying attention, although he is driving, he keeps glancing into the rear through the mirror.

"Eva hang on a second I'm going to put you on speaker as I think Taylor should hear this as well" Moments later Eva's voice comes through and I hear the story again. I see Christian bristle with anger and Taylor shakes his head.

"Miss Trammell, thank you for the heads up I'll liaise with Angus immediately and find out if there have been any developments" Taylor says.

"Hi Jace, and no problem" I see Taylor smile at Eva's casual greeting.

"Thank you for telling us Eva" Christian says.

"No problem Christian, I tried to tell Gideon you would all want to know, but he's as stubborn as you but he got right on it as soon as he hung up from her"

"Thank you Eva and I'm so sorry you both had to deal with my crazy mother" I say sadly.

"Hey don't apologise Ana, she won't be able to contact him again he's blocked her number!" she giggles at this, "Oh he's here now" she adds.

We hear Gideon's voice in the background, and then clearly on the line. "Christian, Ana, it's me Gideon, I did ask Eva not to worry you with this, I have my people monitoring all the media outlets and keeping tabs on internet gossip sites, and Eva called Kate to get someone in on the inside. I am not totally convinced your mother will actually do anything, she was clearly drunk or something when she called and as such it may have been all bravado"

Christian speaks, "Well I'm glad Eva called if anything happens call me immediately no matter what time of the day or night" he says firmly.

"Ok will do" Gideon says

"I'm so sorry Gideon you shouldn't have been subjected to that" I say

"Ana please don't worry about it, the way she was ranting it was better me than anyone else" he says.

We arrive at the hotel and Taylor speaks. "Mr Cross, I am going to liaise with Angus on this is there anyone else I should speak to?"

"Actually, Raul is handling it so he would be the go to guy" Gideon replies. We thank Eva and Gideon once more before ending the call and heading inside.

As soon as we reach our suite Christian is on the phone, from what I can gather he calls his father for legal advice and Kate for information. While he is talking to them I sneak away and decide to deal with my mother.

I take a deep breath and make the call. It rings out for a while and then Bob answers.

"Hello Ana he says when I say hello

"Bob what does my mother think she is playing at?" I say with no preamble

"I beg your pardon?" he replies

I quickly outline the events of the past few days and I hear him sigh. "She's left me Ana, I have no idea where she is or what she is doing, I had my suspicions she was seeing someone else and then a few days ago I came home and she was gone, taken all her clothes and everything and just gone" I sit down with a thud on the bed.

"Oh god Bob I'm so sorry" I say

"No Ana I'm sorry, I knew it was eating her as soon as you hooked up with Christian she started making snide comments about his wealth and how you had fallen on your feet, almost as if she begrudged you any happiness" Bob sighs, "If I hear anything I'll let you know ok?" he says.

"Thank you Bob I appreciate that" I say. I end the call and head out to Christian.

"What is it?" he says

"I just called my mom at home, and she's gone, she's left Bob and just gone" I say

"Oh baby" he says and pulls me towards him.

"Bob said he will call me if he hears anything, I'm going to try her cell phone" I say and ease myself out of Christian's arms. I walk back into the bedroom and he follows me. I turn and shake my head, "No I need to be alone to do this" I say. He nods and walks out leaving me staring at my phone.

I call my mother's cell phone and wait.

"Oh so you remember I exist then" is the greeting I get as soon as she answers.

My anger spikes and I realise how pissed off I am at her so I stand up and I let her have it, I unleash my inner bitch and give her free reign.

"I'm fine thanks Carla nice of you to ask oh sorry you don't do you because its always all about you isn't it" I hear my mother gasp and go to say something but I jump in quickly "No you listen Carla, I am calling you Carla because you don't deserve the title mom, you are no mother, you never have been, what the hell do you think you are playing at, you were begged to attend our wedding by five different people, five people who cared enough about me and my feelings to try and persuade my own mother to attend. You are so far out of line its unreal, I understand that you have received my letter today that explains how I feel. At this moment I really don't ever want to see you again, how do you think I feel? I am on my honeymoon and my friends called to tell me you have been harassing them and spewing your warped views to them. Can't you just be happy for me; I have always made excuses for you and forgiven you time after time, but no more Carla, no more! You have gone too far this time, the fact you are jealous of your own daughter because she has found happiness in her life is just sick, I have married the most wonderful man in the world and all you can do bitch and make up wild accusations about him. Well enough, until you stop bad mouthing my husband who has done absolutely nothing to you except generously offer to fly you to our wedding and you accept that you are to blame for the state of our now non existent relationship you can go to hell!" I hang up and throw my phone on the bed. I am almost panting I am so angry.

Shit, I just told my mother to go to hell, I feel my legs give way and I sit down on the bed, as I do so I start to cry.

I hear the door open and Christian walks in, "I heard most of that" he says as he sits beside me. "Tell me what to do Ana, how I can comfort you and make you feel better?" he asks

I lean my head on his shoulder, "Just hold me and tell me you love me" I say quietly.

He grips me and pulls me into his lap, "That I can do!" he says.


	38. Chapter 38

CHAPTER 38

We stay in London for a couple more days, while we are there we visit a doctor who was recommended by Dr Green in Seattle as one of Britain's top gynaecology consultants and I feel a little embarrassed when I see the look of surprise on her face when she discovers all we want is contraception, she informs Christian curtly that a GP would have been sufficient for our request, but she is much kinder with me. I tell her about the miscarriage and she gives me a through examination. She gives me a prescription for the mini pill and sends an email to Dr Green in Seattle regarding her examination and listing the medication she has prescribed for me.

Our honeymoon continues with a kind of road trip around the UK. Christian takes me to Cornwall and we see Tintagel Castle supposedly the seat of King Arthur, it is truly magical and I love it there. We go to Dorset and visit where Thomas Hardy was born and see the areas which inspired his stories, then Christian takes me to Stonehenge, I discover this is owned by the same organisation that takes care of Tintagel Castle and Christian has given them a sizable donation to have a private guided tour of both places. We then head north to Stratford upon Avon and visit Shakespeare's birthplace. We go further north and he takes me to Bronte Country and we visit Haworth, it is a gorgeous quaint village I am in my element when we visit the parsonage where the Bronte Sisters lived. We go to York and spend the day there it is amazing seeing all the different periods of time preserved in one place. We head further north and Christian takes me to Lindisfarne and the Holy Islands this part of England is so wild and rugged but so beautiful and there are so many castles in this part of the country. I will never forget this trip as long as I live. We then spend a couple of days in Scotland and we visit Edinburgh and Glasgow, before going really far north to the Orkney Islands and he takes me to the Neolithic settlement of Skara Brae. It is all so overwhelming; the history of this small island is so rich and deep. We are under no illusions that America is a new country in comparison to the UK. As we travel back down the country, we stop off at various places which Christian has planned, places I would never have heard of if we hadn't come here, we stop in the Derbyshire Peak District which has some spectacular scenery and we visit some old mines, one in the village of Castleton which has the nickname "The Devils Arse" which makes me giggle, which Queen Victoria apparently visited during her reign. We go to Lincoln, a beautiful city which reminds me a little of York, and it has just as much history. We visit the castle there and view the original Magna Carta, one of only three originals left in existence. We visit the city of Oxford and Cambridge and see the famous universities then sadly back to London to head to the airport for home. I feel privileged to have been in the position to have been able to do this. I know Christian has kept me busy and entranced on purpose throughout the honeymoon, to take my mind off the issues with my mother, the forthcoming trial and dark thoughts of my lost baby, and I love him for it.

We are on the plane heading back to the States I am happy and content. Christian is sitting next to me reading through some paperwork which was emailed to him this morning by Ros. As he finishes up he looks at me.

"Happy?" he asks

I lean towards him "Very!" I say and plant a small kiss on his lips, "Thank you that was truly a trip of a lifetime, I have seen things which I would never have expected in my life and things which I would never have seen had I gone to England on my own as a tourist".

"I want to show you the world Ana, I want to give you the world, you deserve it so much, and it make me happy to see you so delighted" he stops and chuckles, "Do you know my favourite moment the entire honeymoon was that cream tea we had in Cornwall, the look on your face when you ate that scone with cream and jam was a picture!"

I giggle, "Well it was delicious, and the tea was the nicest I have ever drunk, I have never had Earl Grey before"

"That's what you do Ana, its the little things, you make me see the little things are important, the big gestures are all very well but you appreciate the little things and you are teaching me to do that as well, thank you". He says giving me his beautiful shy smile.

I lean towards him and rest my head on his shoulder, "It's my pleasure Mr Grey" I whisper

He kisses my head, "how about we continue this in the bedroom?" he says his voice thick with emotion. He pulls me to my feet and leads me towards the back of the plane to the small bedroom.

I am awakened by knocking on the door, Christian and I have spent most of the flight with him inside me, until we fell asleep.

I pull the sheet around us and call out "Come in" I shout, as I do so Christian rouses and wraps his arm around me holding the sheet up around me.

The door opens and Taylor walks in, "Sir, Mrs Grey, we are 30 minutes from landing" he says.

"Thank you Taylor" Christian replies sharply and Taylor nods and leaves, when he has left the room Christian glances at me and smiles I have no idea why I feel so embarrassed we are newly weds and Taylor above anyone knows what Christian is like.

We quickly shower and dress and head out to sit and put our seatbelts on. I glance out of the window and gasp, we are landing at JFK, not Sea Tac.

"We are in New York!" I exclaim

Christian nods, "Yes, I thought it was sensible, we have an appointment in a couple of days to see the prosecution team for the trial so it seemed sensible to head here instead". He looks at me carefully gauging my reaction.

I just nod; the feeling of coming down to earth with a bump has just hit me.

My spirits are raised again as the doors open and Christian leads me out of the plane and down the steps, I see Gideon and Eva waiting for us. I let go of Christian's hand and push past him and run down the steps.

"Careful!" he cries anxiously.

I hug Eva tightly and we start talking nineteen to the dozen. Gideon rolls his eyes and Christian shakes his head. I turn to Gideon and hug him warmly as he hugs me back Christian quickly pulls me towards him again and places me firmly at his side.

"Ana we are going on a girls night out tonight I want to hear all the details about your honeymoon" Eva says firmly.

I glance at Christian and see his face has set into an icy impassive mask, he's not happy about this, but I would like to spend some time with Eva, I think Gideon senses Christian's hostility and steps in.

"Remember what I told you, my clubs, my car, my security, you stick to a circuit of my clubs and your security stays in the car, deviate and they go in with you" Eva rolls her eyes.

"Yes dear!" she says sarcastically and I start to giggle.

"I'd love to" I say adamantly staring at Christian, daring him to object.

I see him thinking things over, "Taylor goes with you as well and accompanies you into the clubs regardless of whether they are Gideon's or not" he says adamantly

I shrug, "Sure" I say, I had expected that.

Eva bounces up and down and claps her hands.

We head back to our apartment and Gideon and Eva drop us off before heading down the road to theirs, as I climb out I turn to Eva.

"What are you wearing?" I ask

"Little black dress, lots of jewellery" she says with a grin.

I smile back and nod.

When we get inside Christian looks at me, "Be careful baby, stay close to Taylor" I know he is panicking about it and I wrap my arms around him tightly.

"Christian, please don't worry, I will do exactly what Taylor says, I really would like to go out with Eva, and if we are Gideon's clubs I'm sure he will have instructions in place".

Christian nods, "I know I just worry, if anything happened to you it would kill me" he says

Later that evening Eva and Gideon show up, Eva is bouncing with excitement and Gideon follows her carrying a grocery bag, he grins at Christian.

"If the girls are going out to enjoy themselves then why shouldn't we" he says

Christian glances in the bag and sees the beer and smiles, "Excellent plan" he says.

Eva grabs my arm and we head out Taylor follows at a discreet distance. Downstairs outside waiting is Gideon's limo I raise my eyebrows and look at Eva.

"The Limo, seriously?" I ask

"All will become clear when you get inside!" Eva says.

Taylor opens the door and I climb in, I gasp as I see Kate sitting there grinning. "Hey Steele" she drawls.

"It's Grey now" I retort as I lean in and hug her, "What are you doing here?" I ask

"I'm on a work assignment in New York and I've been hanging out with Eva and we decided you needed to join us!"

It makes me happy to hear that, after Kate's behaviour at the wedding. Eva introduces us to the man sitting quietly in the corner.

"Ana, this is Raul, he handles Gideon's security, and Angus you already know" she says pointing to Angus sitting in the drivers seat. Taylor climbs in next to Angus and he and Raul nod at each other.

"Ok ladies please take these" Raul says handing us each a small cell phone. "Any issues whatsoever please press speed dial one and you will immediately be paged through to me here in the limo" I take one and glance at Taylor.

"Is this necessary, I mean Jason is accompanying us inside?" I ask

Raul nods firmly, "It is Mrs Grey, Jason will be unable to accompany you to the bathroom so you will need these so you can be in constant communication with security, any issues I will be able to coordinate movement from here"

I nod "Ok" I say, Kate takes hers and rolls her eyes she doesn't get the whole security and risk thing.

The limo pulls up outside the first club and we are immediately whisked in past the line and led straight to the VIP area. Jason settles himself at a table a few feet away with a bottle of water in front of him. I feel a little bit sorry for him and guilty for him having to sit here I walk over and speak to him.

"I'm sorry about this, I am guessing this is the last thing you want to be doing tonight" I say.

"Mrs Grey, I am doing my job, you wanted to come out with your friends so I accompany you in Luke's absence" he says firmly.

I touch his shoulder, "I won't cause you any trouble" I say with a grin.

I see his mouth twitch in amusement, "That is very gratifying to know" he says.

We have a few dances and out of the corner of my eye I see a man staring at us. He is leaning against the bar and he hasn't taken his eyes off us.

My attention is drawn back to my companions when Eva shouts in my ear, "I need to pee" I nod.

"I'll come too" I say suddenly having a similar urge. I turn to Kate, "We are going to the bathroom" I shout.

She gives is the thumbs up sign and carries on dancing.

As we walk past Taylor I tell him where we are going and he stands to follow us, I quickly tell him we will be fine, hesitates for a moment and I point out that we will be only a few feet away eventually he nods and sits back down. We head down a corridor and just as I go to push open the door of the bathroom I see the man who was watching us earlier appear from the men's room. Eva's reaction is instant and terrifying she grips me tightly and gasps.

"No" she whispers I look and see the man walking straight for us.

I know immediately from Eva's reaction that it is Nathan Barker. Any urge I had to go to the bathroom vanishes and I instinctively push Eva behind me, glaring at him.

"Hello Eva, are you going to introduce me to your friend?" he says his voice is oily Eva is clearly terrified and shaking profusely. I wrench open the door of the ladies room and push Eva in.

"ANA!" she shouts as I pull the door shut.

"Stay there Eva - you are safe" I say firmly, and then turn to the man.

"Nathan Barker I presume?" I say

He smiles and nods, "I am, and you are?" he asks

"None of your fucking business, but if you want to get out of here in one piece I suggest you leave now" I say

The next thing I know he has me pinned against the wall and is running his hand up my leg. Reaching down, I grab his hand and dig my nails in hard and as he yelps as he loosens his grip on me I bring my knee up and it comes in contact with his balls he doubles over and falls in a heap on the floor clutching himself, I don't know what possesses me but I lean over him and yank his hand away and with all the force I can manage stamp on his balls with my stiletto heel. The howl he releases brings Eva out of the bathroom, and she is staring at Nathan on the floor.

Just at that moment Taylor and Raul round the corner and skid to a halt astonished at the sight in front of them.

"Mrs Grey are you ok?" Raul asks

"Better than him I think" I say with a grin.

Taylor pulls out his buzzing phone, "Sir, yes sir she is ...yes sir" Taylor hands me his phone, "Erm Mr Grey wants to speak to you" he says

"Hello Christian" i say

"Ana, what happened, Gideon just got a code red alert on his phone from Eva, what's going on, we can't get to you we have been drinking and fucking hell Ana please tell me you are ok?" he is obviously frantic and I can picture him pacing around clutching his hair. I realise it is worse because my cell phone is switched off and he couldn't reach me, I feel a twinge of guilt at this.

"Christian, I'm fine, calm down, we got approached by Nathan Barker, I pushed Eva into the ladies bathroom and dealt with him" I say.

"What do you mean dealt with him? Did he touch you, Ana? Did he?" he asks

"He tried, but he regretted it" I say.

"Shit! What did he fucking do to you and what did you do?" Christian asks

"He tried to touch me up so I kneed him in the balls and then stamped on them with my stiletto heel" I say calmly.

I hear Christian gasp, and I smile.

"Ok baby, as long as you are ok, put Taylor back on" he says in an unsteady voice.

I hand the phone back to Taylor and look and see Eva talking on Raul's phone, and I am guessing she is talking to Gideon. Then as she hands back the phone something unexpected happens.

I feel something grab me I look down and Nathan has grabbed my leg, I spin and lose my balance and my foot comes down hard on his arm my stiletto heel penetrating the skin. His grasp falls away, and he screams in pain before yelling all kinds of obscenities at me.

"Sir I need to go" Taylor says calmly and hangs up.

"Shut up you nasty fucking pervert" I scream at Nathan who is now cradling his arm. "You did that all by yourself if you hadn't grabbed me I wouldn't have stumbled, what's wrong with you don't you like it when a woman gets the upper hand?"

I see his face contort with rage, and he starts to struggle to his feet, Eva is frozen with fear and Raul quickly shoves her back into the bathroom and stands in front of the door. He then calls Angus "Mr Cross and Mr Grey are needed here now" he states firmly and hangs up.

I am beyond angry, this piece of shit has terrified my friend for too long and if I have my way he will never have that kind of hold on her again. Before I can say or do anything the area is flooded with security, I am assuming it is Gideon's team as Raul is pointing to the angry man on the floor and quickly issuing instructions, within moments Nathan is on his feet being held none too carefully by two of the security team.

"Wait" I call as they go to take him away.

The two men stop as I open the bathroom door and pull Eva out wrapping my arm around her.

"Say what you need to say, do what you need to do, prove to him that he doesn't have a hold on you any more" I say wishing I had been this brave when I was confronted with Morton a few weeks ago.

I feel Eva straighten up and stop shaking she walks up to Nathan and spits in his face, I see his shock turning to blind fury but before he can do anything she looks at me and then turns and kicks him hard in the balls, all the men visibly cringe, and Nathan gasps in pain.

Then I see something, I see Nathan who doubled over is now staring at the side arm of one of the men holding him and instinctively I know what he is going to do, he is going to do something and grab the gun, I see Raul's revolver within my grasp, as he turns and wrenches himself free grabbing the gun, I don't hesitate, I grab Raul's gun and point aim and fire. Nathan screams, blood pouring from his wrist, he drops the gun he snatched and falls forward clutching his bleeding wrist.

Raul and Taylor are staring at me with open mouths, I shrug.

"I saw him looking at that guy's gun, I kind of knew what he was going to try, I saw Raul's gun and I went for it" I hand Raul his gun back, which he takes without a word.

"Thank you Mrs Grey, where did you learn to do that?" he asks

"My father taught me" I say calmly

"Ray taught you well" Taylor mutters.

I turn to speak to him and see Gideon and Christian standing there with their mouths wide open, rooted to the spot, Angus is next to them and he is grinning from ear to ear.

"Nice shot Mrs Grey" he says, I smirk as I see Christian glare at him.

I walk towards Christian and he opens his arms and I walk into them.

"Hi" I mutter

"What the hell was that?" he growls at me

I pull back, my eyebrows raise and my hands go to my hips and I stare at him.

"That, Christian was me getting the job done, I saw what he was going to do and I reacted to stop it" I say sharply.

"You could have been fucking killed" he says.

I stare at him and I realise, yes he is angry, but his primary emotion is fear, fear that I could have been hurt or killed and my defensive attitude melts away as I step towards him and pull him into my arms, he is rigid and trembling, and after a moments hesitation his arms fold around me and he relaxes a little.

"I'm sorry, but I'm fine, not a scratch" i whisper to him. Christian doesn't say a word in response.

Nathan has been taken away, and Eva walks up to us touching Christians arm.

"Please don't be angry with her Christian, she was brilliant, Ana you have to show me some of your moves, where did you learn that stuff?" she says

"My father taught me self defence, and how to shoot and throw weapons, he was in the Army special ops and he taught me everything he knew, including how to read people and anticipate their next move, which is what I did" I say with a shrug.

"Shit Christian you have married one hell of a woman" Gideon says with a grin.

I see pride flicker in Christian's eyes, he shakes his head but still doesn't say anything.

"Where's Kate?" I ask suddenly remembering her.

"Miss Kavanagh is fine, she's still dancing" Taylor says with a grin.

I roll my eyes, and turn to Eva, "I don't know about you Eva, but I think I'd like to go home now, I'm feeling suddenly tired"

Eva nods, "Yeah we've had enough excitement for one night!" she says.


	39. Chapter 39

CHAPTER 39

The next morning I awaken to see Christian sitting on the bed staring at me.

"What?" I say groggily as I rub my eyes and yawn.

"I am just watching my beautiful wife, who scared the fucking life out of me last night" he says

"I'm still here and I don't have a mark on me, unlike that piece of shit Barker so all in all I would say that is a success!" I say sarcastically.

Christian shakes his head, "You could have been hurt or killed if you hadn't seen him and reacted he could have shot you". He says

"But he didn't, I did react and I am safe, don't torture yourself with what could have been" I say firmly.

Christian nods but I can see he is not totally convinced by my words.

"Where is he now?" I ask

"Who? Barker?" Christian asks I nod at him.

"In hospital, your stiletto has ensured he won't be raping any more women in the foreseeable future, it caused quite substantial damage, and the bullet you fired at him shattered his wrist, he had to have surgery to repair the damage he is in quite a state" Christian says I detect the pride in his voice again.

"Good" I say coldly

"He is under armed guard; he has violated the restraining order and attempted to assault you not to mention the stunt he pulled when he grabbed the gun so he is in deep shit right now".

There is a knock at the door, Christian turns, "Come in" he says automatically pulling the sheet up to cover me, even though I am fully clothed in one of his T shirts.

Taylor opens the door and steps inside, "Sir, Mr Cross is here to see you" he says.

Christian looks surprised and stands up, "Thank you Taylor he says, he turns and plants a swift kiss on my forehead and leaves the room.

I quickly shower and get dressed and head out to find him. I see them in deep conversation Christian is pacing and they are discussing something, as I walk over they immediately stop and smile at me.

"What are you two discussing?" I ask

"Barker" Gideon spits.

"Christian said he was in hospital under guard?" I say

"He is" Gideon replies.

I realise I am not going to find out what they were discussing so I decide to drop it.

"How's Eva?" I ask

Gideon smiles, "Fine, she has been attending Krav Maga classes for a while but she said what you did last night put all she learnt in the shade".

I laugh humourlessly, "It didn't help me when I was confronted by Morton, I was unable to do anything then" I say quietly. Christian immediately pulls me towards him and wraps his arms around me and rubs my back.

"That reminds me, we are seeing the prosecution team today at 2 o clock" Christian says, "the trial has been rescheduled again for next week so we need to see them today and go over what happened when you were taken".

I nod, I have been dreading this, having to relive that day. "Ok" I say.

Gideon quickly excuses himself and leaves Christian goes with him to see him out and I frown as I watch them leave as they are whispering furiously, they are up to something and I want to know what is going on.

When Christian returns I stand there with my hands on my hips and glare at him.

"Ok Grey, spill the beans, what was all that about?" I ask

Christian looks at me, he hesitates for a moment and then sighs "Gideon is on the edge about Barker, I've never seen him this wound up, about anything, he wanted to talk that's all, I promise you" he says.

I still have a feeling there is more to this than Christian is letting on, but I could tell what he did tell me was the truth from Gideon's body language when he was here. I let it go for now, as whatever they were discussing he obviously has no intention of sharing with me at the moment.

Christian spends the morning getting caught up on work issues he is on the phone to Ros for most of the morning being brought up to speed on all GEH related matters. Eventually he emerges from his office and stretches.

I watch his body flex underneath his t shirt and I feel that familiar pull in my stomach, this man should have a health warning on him the way he makes me feel.

"I'm hungry, shall we head out for some lunch or do you want to eat here?" he asks

"I don't mind" I say

"Come on then" he says holding out his hand to me, I stand and take it and he takes me to this delightful little diner. He obviously knows the owner as he greets him warmly.

"Joe how's business?" he asks

"Mr Grey how good to see you come and sit down, business is good" he says

"Good to hear, Joe, let me introduce my wife Anastasia" Christian says pulling me to his side.

"I heard on the news you had met someone and married, congratulations, so what are you doing in New York are you on honeymoon?" Joe asks grinning.

Christian laughs, "No we have just returned from our honeymoon, we are on a stop off in New York visiting friends before we head back to Seattle" he says.

I am surprised that Christian is being so open with this guy and so relaxed. A young girl brings some menus and Joe reappears with two large glasses of soda.

"So how do you know this guy?" I ask

"He used to work at GEH in the staff restaurant in Grey House, but he had to return to New York to be with his father who was ill, his father owned this place and he had let it get run down. He went to Human Resources to hand in his notice and I was there at the time, and I heard his story first hand, he was...is a damn good chef and I wanted to help him get this place back up to scratch so I flew out here with him and we worked out a plan, I gave him a loan to update the place and get everything sorted out, I gave him 10 years to pay it back – he paid it back in 4, with interest. He keeps me updated of any new additions to the menu and whenever I am in New York I come here to eat at some point" Christian explains to me.

"You are a good man Christian" I say proudly and squeeze his hand.

After a delicious lunch we head back to the apartment to change before heading to the court. My good mood evaporates as we enter the courthouse. We are met by a tall man with glasses and he greets us warmly.

I spend the next couple of hours in an office going through everything that happened in minute detail and he coaches me on how to respond to questioning. He tells me that we have a strong case and there is no reason why we shouldn't win.

When we leave, Christian wraps his arm around me, "I'm so proud of you Ana" he says quietly. I glance at my watch feeling hungry, its nearly 4:30.

"Why?" I ask

"What you have been through, yet you never complain or whine about it, you just pick yourself up and keep going, you are the strongest woman I have ever met, and half of what you have been though would have floored some people, I promise you baby I will do my damnedest to make sure nobody ever hurts you again" he kisses my head, I stop and lift my arms up to touch his face, and kiss him sweetly on the lips. I hear clicking and I know we have been papped, I giggle.

"We just got papped!" I whisper to him.

He grins and grabs me dipping me and plants a long lingering passionate kiss on me, we are both grinning as he raises me back up again and we are both panting.

"What was that about?" I ask

"Might as well give them something worth printing!" he says with a wicked grin.

I stare at him, he has never done anything like that before, and I wonder what has brought on this exceptionally good mood.

We get back to the apartment and Christian's phone starts ringing. "Grey" he says with clipped tone. He glances at me and he looks shocked.

"When?" he asks, moments later Taylor appears looking serious.

"What is it?" I ask him, he says nothing but waits for Christian to hang up.

"Sir I am assuming you have just heard the news" Taylor says

Christian nods. "Will someone tell me what is going on?" I ask sharply.

"Barker has been patched up, released from hospital and he has got bail and he is currently back at his hotel". Christian says.

I gasp and put my hand over my mouth, I immediately think of Eva and her reaction, she hates the fact that man breaths the same air as us without him being loose in the same neighbourhood.

"Sir there has been a development since then" Taylor interrupts, we both stare at him. "Nathan Barker was found dead in his hotel room about 20 minutes ago, Raul has just called and informed me".

"Shit" Christian says and his hands go straight to his head, he grabs his phone and makes a call. As he does this I see his demeanour change, he takes control and becomes the closed off calm CEO "Gideon, I just heard the news about Barker" he says. I get a bad feeling about this, I remember Gideon's surprise visit and Christian's comment about Gideon being on the edge, and I start to put two and two together and what I come up with makes me worry. I calmly walk over to Christian and pull the phone from his ear, he stares at me in astonishment.

"Gideon, its me Ana, please tell me you had nothing to do with Nathan's death" I say

"No" he says he doesn't elaborate and there is a note in his voice which is concerning me, but I decide to believe him for now.

"Ok" I reply and hand Christian his phone back. I leave the room and call Eva, she is predictably torn between elation that she is finally free from the threat of Nathan Barker and shock and panic that Gideon may have had something to do with it.

"Eva, do you and Gideon have an alibi for the timespan?" I ask cautiously

"I have, I was at work in a meeting with my boss and the creative team" she says "I have no idea about Gideon though and he isn't saying anything, he said he was working at that new hotel he has bought, but I just don't know, what about you and Christian especially after last night?" she asks.

"What time period are we talking?" I ask

"Between 2.30 and 4pm" she replies

"We were in an office in the courthouse talking with the prosecution team ready for the trial then" I say.

"Well I just hope Gideon didn't do anything stupid, he was so upset after last night" Eva says.

"I'm sure it will be fine, Gideon isn't that stupid" I say trying to reassure her, but deep down I know that Gideon is like Christian, anything that threatens the people he loves and he will react, and he has always given off such a dark dangerous untamed vibe that I have no doubts in my mind he is capable of it".

I hang up from Eva and go back to find Christian. He is still talking to Gideon and he stops as I enter the room.

"Gideon, are you and Eva coming over this evening?" he asks staring at me as he says this. "Good, about 7ish then" he adds, "see you both later then" . he hangs up and turns to me. "Gideon and Eva are coming round this evening" he says with forced brightness, he smiles but it doesn't reach his eyes and I just know that Gideon has done something or knows something.

"I heard" I reply, I look at him carefully, I know he is hiding something, I am confident that Christian isn't involved with Nathan Barkers demise but I'm pretty sure he knows who is.


	40. Chapter 40

CHAPTER 40

_**GIDEON'S PERSPECTIVE**_

I don't fucking believe it that piece of shit has not only been released from hospital but also has been granted bail. I need to get him out of the picture once and for all. I will never forget the look on Christian's face last night when that code red came through on my phone, and I felt like my world was falling apart. How could we have put ourselves on the back foot like that, stranded in the god damn apartment with no way of getting to the women we love, no love isn't the right word, need, worship, obsess over, live for...

I decided this morning never was I going to be in that position again, totally impotent and unable to do a damn thing. I know I am on the edge, Eva can sense it too. I leave early and head to Christian and Ana's apartment, I need to talk to Christian, I am determined I am going through with this and I know roughly what I am going to do, but Christian knows how I am feeling he was feeling exactly the same way last night.

When I arrive Christian comes out to me and I pull him to one side quickly outlining what I need to do.

"Gideon, are you crazy? What if you get caught, you can't do this by yourself, and although I feel exactly the same way and would help you in a heartbeat, remember what he did to my sister when she was a kid, I can't, I can't do that to Ana, what if you get caught, how do you think Eva would react, she adores you, and it would kill her"

He is agitated and is pacing I know he is right, but at this moment I need to do this and can't see any other way out.

"What the fuck am I supposed to do, what kind of life will Eva have, increased security and restraining orders for the rest of her life, I won't subject her to that, I am ending this once and for all".

We talk a while longer and we end up with Christian agreeing to support me should anything go wrong, but not wanting to get personally involved in taking out Barker, I can understand and accept that, he is married now and until Ana lost the baby was going to be a father, it has changed his thought process, he can sympathise and is prepared to help from the sidelines but doesn't want to be involved, plus he and Ana have the trial coming up so he is concentrating on supporting Ana through that and I can understand he doesn't want to be risk not being there for her, I tell him I am going to do this and soon and we discuss it a while longer until we are interrupted by Ana coming in. I leave with some knowledge that helps me with the decision I have made, both Christian and Ana are at the courthouse this afternoon, Eva told me that she has a meeting with her boss this afternoon and I am at the Fairfield all day which happens to only be a block away from the hotel Barker is staying in which is one of mine. As I drive to work I get the alert that the security update to the CCTV system at the very hotel Barker is staying at will be down, for approximately 3 hours between 2pm and 5pm today, this has to be fate I feel everything coming together to work out this is my chance I can do this, I quickly piece together a plan in my mind I need help with this and I call the man who contacted me and promised me he would help me get rid of Barker.

"Clancy, today, The Fairfield" I say and hang up.

I realise I will need a distraction at the hotel so I can slip away, its closed for the refurbishment and restructuring I have implemented so I think, some kind of accident a fire perhaps, I go and look at what I can create, about an hour later Benjamin Clancy a huge gorilla of a man and the personal security and driver of Eva's step father Richard Stanton joins me at The Fairfield Hotel.

"So what's the plan?" he asks without preamble.

"I need a distraction between 2pm and 5pm as the security cameras will be down at the hotel Barker is at so I can slip away without being noticed.

Clancy thinks for a moment and then nods, "A Fire in the kitchen should do it something small, nothing to put life at risk but enough to cause a bit of chaos, leave it with me" he says. We quickly formulate a plan of action and I leave him to do what he has to do.

At nearly 2.25 the fire alarms go off and I smile, I run downstairs and outside, I make a point of being seen by all the staff and check with a number of them that everyone is out of the building, there are only builders and decorators in the building and senior staff members. The fire department arrive and I make a point of speaking to the chief. I excuse myself and head to the rear of the building Clancy is waiting in a small none descript car I jump in and we head the short distance to my other hotel. I head in through the basement and checking the route as I go I check the security feed to make sure it is indeed offline and I make my way to Barkers room, I pull a small knife from inside my coat, and knock on the door, it opens and I see the bastard smirk, I lurch forward and slam the knife into his heart, the look of surprise on his face is instantly extinguished by death as his eyes go fixed and dull. He falls to the floor and I turn and leave, quickly exiting the building the way I came, nobody has seen me, and Clancy drives me back to the Fairfield. I glance at my watch, 14 minutes from beginning to end not bad at all, i climb out and turn to him, and nod I yank off the latex gloves I was wearing and toss them into the dumpster.

"I'll take it from here, there will be no evidence to link you to any of this" Clancy says firmly and drives away. I walk calmly around the front and see the police chief and fire chief. I approach them hand outstretched.

"Gideon Cross" I say as a way of greeting, the two men shake my hand and quickly explain what the cause of the fire appeared to be.

"It seems to have been a complete accident, a can of paint fell over and knocked a pile of papers on to a nearby heater which then caught fire, no suspicious circumstances as far as we can tell" he says calmly.

I smile and nod, "That's good to know and thank you gentlemen for your swift response" I shake hands with them again and everyone heads back into the hotel, I go to examine the damage caused by the fire it will set things back by about a week or so but it was worth it. As I head back upstairs to finish my work a moment later my attention is drawn to the window and I smile again as I see the garbage men emptying the dumpster, I tossed my gloves into.

About half an hour later there is a knock at the door, and Raul enters looking grim.

"Sir we have just received information that Nathan Barker has been found dead in his hotel room, he was found by house keeping it appears he was stabbed" he says

I arrange my face into what I hope is a surprised look, "Really?! Well it couldn't have happened to a nicer person" I say, Raul grins, "Keep me informed of developments, and let Taylor know, I'm sure Christian would be interested to hear about it" I say

"Yes sir" Raul nods and leaves.

I sit down, I have killed a man, yet I am not sorry, I am not feeling guilty or remorseful, I am elated and in a strange way feeling a little buzzed that man terrorised Eva, he took her innocence and made her pregnant when she was only a child herself, he deserves everything he got. In fact the only thing I feel any remorse for is the inevitable shock the poor house keeping girl got when she found the body.

I sit for a moment mulling things over and my phone rings, I glance at it, it's Christian, I am guessing Raul has just told Taylor the news, I brace myself and answer the call.

"Gideon, I just heard the news about Barker" he says.

"And?" I say calmly, there is a silence and then I hear Ana's voice on the line, she sounds distraught.

"Gideon, its me Ana, please tell me you had nothing to do with Nathan's death" she says

"No" I reply, I hate lying to her, but the least she knows the better for her own good.

"Ok" she says, but I get the distinct impression she doesn't believe me from the way she says it, moments later Christian is back on the line.

"She's gone, tell me?" he says

"Yes" I say shortly

"I see" he replies.

We talk a while longer and I make arrangements to go over to tonight to spend time with Christian and Ana.

* * *

At exactly 7pm Gideon and Eva stride into the apartment, Gideon is tightly reined in I can tell by his demeanour, I glance at Eva and she shakes her head discreetly at me.

"Gideon, come and help me pick some beer" I say cheerily and he obediently leaves Christian and Eva and follows me in to the kitchen, as soon as we are inside, I close the door and turn and face him with my arms folded.

"Ok, did you kill him?" I ask bluntly.

I see the reaction on his face for a split second and I know, before the impassive mask I have seen so often on Christian slip into place. I shake my head at him. He doesn't say a word.

"How could you be so stupid, have you any idea what you have done?" I say waving my hands in the air. He stares at me in silence. "Gideon, I had an altercation last night with him, which left him in hospital, the next day, he is released, gets bail and then ends up dead a while later, do you have any idea how bad that looks for Christian?"

"I had an opportunity and I took it" he says through gritted teeth, "and I don't apologise, I would do it again" he adds coldly.

I walk over to him and wrap my arms around his waist, "Gideon, Eva loves you so much, but this, if you go to jail because of this it would destroy her". I say calmly.

"Ana, I saw Christian last night when I got that code red on my phone, he was distraught, as was I, you girls were in danger and we couldn't do a damn thing, we had to wait and trust security would take care of it. For two men who need control like we do, can you imagine how that felt for us, can you imagine what we went through knowing you two were in danger and we could do absolutely nothing about it, I was determined that none of us would ever be in that position again, I came to see Christian this morning and told him what I was planning. It all came together quicker than I anticipated, Christian said you two were going to be at the courthouse all afternoon, I knew Eva had meetings at work and I was working across town at a hotel I was upgrading, which just happened to be a block away from the hotel Barker was staying in" he looks at me, there is a defiant look on his face and I sigh and hold my hand up to silence him.

"I don't want to know any more Gideon, I can understand why you did it and god knows that low life had it coming but it was so risky, Gideon are you sure you weren't seen or anything?"

"Positive, please Ana, I know you are worried but please believe me when I say none of you will be implicated in this, in fact I can guarantee it". He says confidently.

"Ok" I reply and hug him tightly; he wraps his arms around me and plants a small kiss on my head.

"What the fuck is happening here?" I turn and see Christian staring at us his hands balled into fists at his side.

"Christian ...she knows" Gideon says calmly, Christian runs his hands through his hair.

"For fucks sake Gideon, why on earth did you feel it was necessary to tell my wife what you did? Why don't you just put an advertisement in the New York Times!" he says angrily.

I turn around and glare at Christian, "Because he didn't tell me I guessed, and I dragged it out of him, plus the fact I had a right to know, if it didn't escape your notice I shot that bastard last night and stamped on his balls, I and you have as much motive as anyone to finish him off, and I was making sure that Gideon's actions weren't going to come back and bite you in the ass, you do realise we could be seen as having a motive, we could be seen as accessories to it, I needed to know that you weren't going to taken from me". I stop and Christian's face softens he strides over to me and pulls me into his arms.

"I didn't think of it like that, Gideon assured me there would be no come back and no link to any of us" .

There is a discreet cough behind us and Taylor stands there, "Sir there are two police officers at the door, here to question you about the death of Mr Barker".

I feel my legs give way and Christian grips me tightly, "Its ok baby I've got you" he whispers.

We grab the bottles of beer and Christian grabs some snacks and we head out where Eva is waiting, Taylor goes to show in the police officers.

"Good Evening, sorry to disturb you all" the first one says glancing at the bottles of beer on the table. She introduces herself and her partner.

"Not at all Officer, would you like a drink?" I ask

"Water would be nice" she says, I glance at the second one and he thanks me but declines.

"i go to the fridge and fetch a bottle of water and hand it to the officer"

"Thank you" she says then goes all business like "Ok can I ask how you all know Nathan Barker?" she says pulling out her notepad.

"He was my step brother about ten or so years ago" Eva says carefully, Gideon has sat down beside her and is holding her hand.

"Did you know Mr Barker was here in New York?" the officer asks gently, it is obvious she has done her homework and knows of the history.

"I thought I saw him a week or so ago something like that, but I wasn't sure, but then he approached us last night" she says.

"Us?" the officer asks

"Ana and I" Eva says glancing at me. The officer turns to me looking at me expectantly, so I explain.

"Eva and Gideon met us at the airport when we returned from the UK from our honeymoon, and we that is Eva and I decided to go out last night for a girls night out – a catch up" I say, "we were at Mirage and we were in the rest room area when Mr Barker approached us, Eva became distressed when she saw him and she entered the ladies bathroom, to get away from him and Mr Barker tried to sexually assault me, so I dug my fingers into his hand and stamped on his balls with my stiletto heel. Security arrived and Mr Barker was apprehended by them but he struggled free and took one of the guards side arms, I saw it and reacted, I grabbed a side arm from another security guard and shot him in the wrist to disarm him, shortly afterwards Gideon and Christian arrived after being informed of the situation as they were spending the evening together here at the apartment, Eva came out of the bathroom and Mr Barker was taken away". I stop and stare at the officer as she scribbles down what I have said.

"You shot him in the wrist? That's very impressive Mrs Grey, where did you learn to fire a gun?" she asks

"My father taught me, he is ex army, special ops and he taught me everything he knows, I am a crack shot, I can throw straight and he taught me self defence" I say proudly.

"Thank you Mrs Grey, now if you could tell me where you were today between 2:30pm and 4pm?" she asks.

"Yes, I was at the courthouse with my husband and the prosecution team going over my evidence for the trial of Stephen Morton, Elena Lincoln and Damien Ellis who abducted me a while ago" I say. I know immediately she already knows this but is just going through procedure, and she turns to Gideon and Eva.

"Miss Trammell, can you tell me where you were during these hours today?" Eva nods.

"Yes I was with my boss Mark Garrity and several other people in a creative meeting at my place of work, which is Waters, Field and Leaman situated on the 20th floor of the Crossfire building" she says. The officer nods and turns to Gideon.

"Mr Cross?" she says looking at Gideon.

"I was at the Fairfield Hotel where I was overseeing improvements and restructuring I have implemented recently since acquiring the hotel" he says calmly.

"Yes there was an incident there wasn't there?" the officer asks looking carefully at Gideon.

He nods, "Unfortunately yes, a small fire started in the kitchen which is being totally refurbished, its set us back about a week, but nobody was hurt which is the main thing" he says.

"How did it start?" the officer asks

"Well according to the fire Chief I spoke to on site some papers had been left on some tins of paint the paint had toppled over and the papers had fallen on to a heater, which had then caught fire, the fire chief seemed to think it was a complete accident".

The officer nods again and I am convinced she already knew all of this and was just checking Gideon's reaction and if his story matched what she knew".

"Thank you I think that will be all for now" she smiles at us and thanks me for the water and then they are gone.

"What happens now?" I ask looking around the room.

"Nothing" Gideon replies.


	41. Chapter 41

CHAPTER 41

Gideon was as good as his word, that a link wouldn't be found to connect us with Barkers death as a few days later the police returned with the news that a dead Russian with links to human trafficking had been found dead and he had photographs of Eva on him which matched ones found in Barkers hotel room and a bracelet which Barker owned which had belonged to his mother and the knife had been found hidden in his apartment with traces of Nathan's blood on it. It was established that this man had been taken out by one of his own as the hit had been witnessed by CCTV cameras and as far as the police were concerned the case was closed. Eva was asked to identify the bracelet as Nathan's and asked if she recognised the man in a photograph who was the dead Russian.

I am a little shocked by these developments, but by the look on Gideon's face so is he, it is clear he had no idea about this man. I wonder who helped Gideon handle this and put in place this elaborate hoax. I decide my best course of action is to let it go.

I have more things to concern myself, namely the forthcoming trial. I am a witness as is Christian, Taylor, Sawyer, Gideon, Raul and Angus. We have all been coached in our evidence and Christian has decided to take the step of outing Elena as his abuser when he was younger, I was shocked when he released this information and although he didn't go into detail the extent of the relationship he said enough to make her sound like the filthy paedophile that she is.

The huge dossier of information which Christian and Gideon had compiled on Morton and Elena including all her aliases and the details of previous complaints made against her have all been taken into account. Some of these people have been traced and were willing to come forward and testify against her, despite the fact the statute of limitations had run out for many of them.

_One week later..._

I am sitting in the courthouse holding Christian's hand tightly, we are surrounded by all the Grey's who have flown out to support us and my dad. I was so pleased to see him I just broke down when he walked into the courthouse with Carrick and Grace.

"Daddy" I gasp and letting go of Christian's hand I run to him, he opens his arms and I run into them and sob uncontrollably on his shoulder.

"Annie come on pull it together" he says gently.

I rub my eyes and sniff loudly

"You think I'd let my girl go through this alone?" he says smiling at me

"We are all here for you Ana" Grace says gently rubbing my back.

I turn and look around, Kate and Elliot, Mia, Carrick and Grace and my father are all smiling encouragingly at me. I feel Christian's arm go around me and he pulls me towards him.

"You are not alone baby" he whispers in my ear and kisses me. He turns to Ray holding his hand out. "Good to see you again sir" he says, Ray nods and accepts the handshake.

"Ana" I look up at my name being called and striding swiftly towards us is Gideon and Eva, with Raul and Angus flanking them. I grin and hug Eva tightly and turn to Gideon who grasps my shoulders and kisses my cheek. He sees Ray and smiles.

"Mr Steele, good to see you again" he says and holds out his hand.

"Gideon" my dad says.

"Ok we are going in to take our seats" Grace says, she hugs me tightly and Elliot walks over wrapping me in his arms.

"You'll do fine" he whispers to me.

Kate hugs me fiercely and whispers good luck in my ear. We all head into the court room I feel myself start to tremble and Christian immediately grips my hand tightly and encouragingly rubs my knuckles with his thumb.

Things get underway and I am called to the stand, as the prosecution lawyer calls me Mrs Grey I hear Elena gasp.

"Christian how could you, you've married her you stupid fool, why did you marry her? Christian, she's not right for you" she screams.

Christian goes ramrod stiff and avoids eye contact with her staring straight ahead with his trademark impassive look on his face.

The judge calls for silence and the defence lawyer quickly mutters something to Elena she calms and shuts up.

I give my evidence reliving that day, I am asked if I see the people involved and I point to Elena, Morton and Damien. The prosecution barrister is kind and encourages me through the harrowing parts. He then asks me how I knew them all and I tell of how Stephen Morton was married to my mother for a while and how he had abused me as a teenager, until I had returned to Montesano to Ray, I explain that I had met Elena through Christian and I had been informed that she was a family friend, and I told how I had only known Damien a short time since working for Cross Publishing and that he was a fellow editor.

Christian is next he strides to the stand and starts to speak about his recollection of that day and how distraught he was at the news I had been taken. He goes through the day from his perspective and recalls how he saw me tied to the chair with Morton on top of me and how he thought that he was raping me. He glances at me and I see the pain in his eyes as he relives it all.

Then comes the part which is hoped will make victory for us a foregone conclusion. The Prosecution stares at Christian for a moment and I see him steel himself for the question he knows is coming.

"Mr Grey, isn't it true you knew one of the accused in a professional and private way before hand?"

Christian nods, "I did, the woman who I knew as Elena Lincoln, she was a family friend I've known her since I was about 8 years old"

"Objection not relevant" the defence pipes up.

"Overruled," the judge replies.

"Can you point out the woman you knew as Mrs Lincoln for us, please?" Christian nods and points at Elena.

"Thank you Mr Grey, can you explain to the extent of the relationship between yourself and the accused.

I see Christian take a deep breath he glances at me and then at Grace and starts to speak, you could hear a pin drop as he talks.

"I knew Mrs Lincoln through my mother, she was her friend and she came to visit my mother regularly and supported the causes my mother supported, when I was about 15 years old I went to work at her house to earn some extra pocket money. They had had an extension built and I was clearing the debris. She approached me one day, with a drink and after I drank it she suddenly kissed me, then slapped my face and then kissed me again, and then she pushed her hand inside my shorts and grabbed my penis. As you can imagine for a pubescent fifteen year old boy it was like all my Christmases had come at once, and we started a sexual relationship, I was a troubled teen wracked with demons from my formative years before I was adopted, and I was an angry young man, who was rapidly spiralling out of control. She used punishment and reward to control me and bring me into line. Punishment were beatings and the reward was sex, from my early experiences before I was adopted I was under the impression that I wasn't worthy of love and affection and Elena confirmed this for me by her actions, she taught me that love was for fools and it was something I believed right up until I met my wife and she showed me a different way" he stops and smiles at me. "The sexual relationship ended when I was about 21 and her husband found out about us, but I believed she had helped me and I retained her as a friend and confidant. We had a professional relationship where I invested in her business ventures. It wasn't until I met my wife that I realised how wrong the relationship had been between us and how she had used and manipulated me, and it was only then that I confessed what Elena had done to me when I was a minor to my family. Elena became more erratic and jealous of my relationship with Ana and did her best to come between us. She advised me badly which resulted in our parting for a while. Thankfully Ana reconsidered and I managed to win her back, eventually. We discovered Ana was expecting my child and Elena went into overdrive trying to split us up culminating in the abduction. Ana was unharmed by Morton but she had a number of welts on her body from where Elena had beaten her with a cane and unfortunately a short while later she miscarried our child". He stops and blinks rapidly as the memory of the miscarriage overwhelms him. He lowers his head and pinches the top of his nose, I so want to run to him and hold him, tears are pouring down my cheeks, Ray grips my hand and Grace wraps her arm around me.

"Thank you Mr Grey, and let me offer my deepest condolences on your and Mrs Grey's loss" he pauses a moment to let Christian compose himself, "now Mr Grey can you tell me once again the name you associate with the accused?"

Christian nods, "Elena Lincoln" he states clearly.

"Christian how could you? Don't do this to me, you can make this right, leave her, I did you a favour she has lost her spawn it probably wasn't even yours, you can divorce her and we can start again, you need me Christian" Elena screeches him, Christian just pointedly ignores her.

"Will you please be quiet, one more outburst and you will be held in contempt, Mr Saunders please control your client" the judge glares at the defence lawyer who whispers furiously into Elena's ear.

"Thank you Mr Grey no more questions" the prosecution lawyer sits down with a smug expression in comparison the defence lawyer looks like someone pissed in his coffee, he stands.

"No questions" he says sharply. "I'd like a ten minute recess to confer with my clients?" he adds

"Denied" the judge states, "Call the next witness"

The prosecution calls Gideon next, and he takes the stand. He grips the rail and he looks in torment, I wonder what the problem is and I glance at Eva questioningly, she shrugs.

Gideon proceeds to tell his version of the day in question and how he helped Christian find me and rescue me.

"Mr Cross do you have any prior knowledge of any of the defendants?" the lawyer asks.

Gideon nods, "Yes Damien Ellis was an employee of mine at Cross Publishing in New York he was an editor and I also know Sybil Hansen" he stops.

"Could you point out Sybil Hanson for the court please Mr Cross?" Gideon points at Elena. There is a gasp at this.

"Let it be shown Mr Cross has pointed to the woman known by Mr Grey as Elena Lincoln, Mr Cross how do you know the accused?" I freeze wondering how Gideon will answer this, I see him grip the bar in front of him he has gone deathly white and he takes a deep breath.

"She was the acquaintance of my rapist" he mutters the gasps fill the courtroom.

"Mr Cross I understand that this is very hard for you but can you please repeat that" the lawyer says gently.

"She was an acquaintance of my rapist" he replies louder.

"Could you elaborate on that Mr Cross?" the lawyer asks.

"Objection not relevant" the defence lawyer shouts

"Overruled" the Judge replies

Gideon nods; he takes a drink of water, I stare at him, he is going public and he doing it for me, and for everyone else who has been damaged by Morton and this woman although she wasn't involved in what happened to him he is prepared to reveal his darkest secrets to help me get my justice, I stare at him and he looks at me briefly and i smile at him hoping I am conveying all the support I can muster into that smile. He smiles back at me, takes a quick glance at Eva and begins to speak "When I was a child I was repeatedly sexually abused and raped by a health official sent to help me cope with my fathers suicide, a few years later when I was in a position to do something about him I discovered he was part of a paedophile ring and I put my resources into smashing it, and Sybil was part of that paedophile ring, she escaped justice due to links she had with the local BDSM community and I later discovered and I have evidence which I have submitted of how she blackmailed certain officials who were in this lifestyle that she would expose them unless they helped her escape justice". There is a stunned silence.

"For the benefit of the court can you just repeat the name of the defendant by the name you knew her"

Gideon nods, "Sybil Hanson" he says clearly.

The court is adjourned for that day and as we leave Gideon rushes into the bathroom, Christian follows him in. A few moments later they both emerge and Christian has his hand on Gideon's shoulder. I walk up to him and wrap my arms around him tightly; for once Christian doesn't pull me away and lets me comfort Gideon.

"Thank you" I whisper to him.

He doesn't say a word but holds me tightly, Eva walks over and I move away so she can embrace him, but she pulls me back, I turn and grasp Christian's hand and pull him into the group hug.

The next day there is more of the same, it is Taylor, Sawyer, Angus and Raul's turn to give their evidence. Taylor and Raul explain how they have researched into Elena since it became apparent that Gideon knew her as someone different and how they have found out all her other different aliases and details of other offences against her in various places in the country and it all comes out about her relationship with Morton and how they are Damien's parents, Taylor and Raul go on to tell of the information they have found on Morton and how he has various complaints and convictions of sexual and physical abuse against him from various women.

Other witnesses are called; the people who Elena had abused under the different aliases give their evidence against her. Witnesses are called who give information against Morton and his offences. I nearly collapse when the lawyer stands and says the name "Carla Adams". I suck in a harsh breath and Christian grips me tightly.

We wait and the door opens and in she walks. I look at my dad and he holds my free hand. She doesn't look at me or anyone around me and heads to the stand.

"Mrs Adam's can you explain in your own words your relationship to the victim and the defendants"

My mother glances at Morton and to my horror she smiles at him. "I am Carla Adams and I was married to Stephen Morton, and I lived with him in Texas along with my daughter, Anastasia". She stops.

"Mrs Adams can you point out your daughter in the court room" my mother nods and points to me, "Thank you now can you point out Mr Morton" she turns and points to Morton.

"Thank you Mrs Adams, now if you could describe your marriage to Mr Morton and the relationship he had with your daughter". She nods and then begins to speak.

"I met Stephen Morton when I was married to Ray Steele we lived in Montesano and I wasn't happy, I was bored and unfulfilled I wanted more out of life, so when I met Stephen and he offered me the chance of a better life I jumped at it and took it, I left Ray and took my daughter and moved with Stephen to Texas. We hadn't been there long when Ana started acting up saying she didn't like Stephen and wanted to go back to Ray, it all came out that he had been physically abusing her and sexually abusing her, so I sent her home to Ray, after that he started hitting me had had done so a few times previously when he got drunk and the final straw came when he came home one night and raped me" she stops and puts her head down. "I knew I had to get away, I was ashamed I had believed him and trusted him, he had hurt my daughter and he had hurt me, I left him and ran away to Vegas, where I met Bob Adams and he helped me get a divorce and we got together and married. She stops and for the first time she glances at me.

"Thank you Mrs Adams" the lawyer says and sits down. The defence don't question her and the defence lawyer looks a little shell shocked by everything that has been said. He clearly wasn't expecting any of this.

The prosecution lawyer stands again, "I call my final witness for the prosecution Mr Damien Ellis" the defence lawyer looks like he is going to expire at this he glares at Damien who looks suddenly afraid. Morton whispers something to him which the prosecution lawyer notices.

"Objection intimidation of a witness" he states,

"Sustained, please remove Mr Ellis from the presence of Mr Morton"

Damien takes the stand and looks absolutely terrified. "Mr Ellis can you state how you know the other defendants and the victim" he nods.

"Helen Ellis is my mom and Stephen Morton is my dad, Ana Steele ...I mean Ana Grey was an editor who was employed at Cross Publishing in New York, but she now works for Cross Publishing Washington in Seattle" Damien says pointing to each one of us in turn.

"Can you explain to the court how you were treated by your parents?" Damien looks afraid, he starts to fidget and doesn't answer.

"Can I remind you, you are under oath Mr Ellis" the prosecution lawyer states.

"They did things to me...bad things, my dad he hit me, he got drunk and took drugs and he hit me my mom she said she loved me, she said I was her special boy, she said if I was a good boy and made mommy happy I wouldn't need to be punished" he stops.

I feel Christian freeze beside me.

"What do you mean by making mommy happy?" the lawyer asks carefully

Damien puts his head down, "she let me fuck her, she sucked me off and she let me fuck her, but if I was bad she punished me she would tie me up and beat me with the canes and whips and if I was really bad then she would get dad to fuck me and I didn't like that he hurt me, it made me bleed sometimes"

"Mr Ellis when did these sexual activities start?" the lawyer asks.

"I'm not sure, as soon as I reached puberty I think and could you know..." he stops, looking embarrassed

"Mr Ellis, do you think this was normal behaviour for parents to behave towards their child?" the lawyer asks gently.

"I thought so, but I was taken away from them so I guess not" he says "My mom said she'd find me again and she did a few years ago she found me and she wanted me to fuck her but I said no and she punished me, and said she never wanted to see me again, then a few months ago mom and dad came to me and said they were sorry and they needed my help they needed me to get Ana and take her to them as she had upset them and done bad things, I believed them but Ana seemed so nice, but I believed them, I'm so sorry Ana," Damien looks at me full of remorse and my heart breaks for him.

"Thank you Mr Ellis, no more questions" the lawyer says. There is a stunned silence throughout the room.

Morton's face contorts with rage, "You fucking shit, you will regret this!" he storms.

"How could you do this?!" Elena screeches

"Silence, enough, I will not tolerate this, I am holding both your clients in contempt of the court, please remove the defendants from the room" the judge demands. Morton and Elena are dragged screaming from the room.

The judge adjourns the case and we all stand and leave, the press are out in force and Kate steps forward flanked by Taylor and Elliot with a prepared statement, I smile at her, she knows how to handle the press. They are crowded around her as she speaks and the rest of us leave the courtroom and head to an office.

"Well I don't think that could have gone any better" Christian says in a satisfied tone.

I nod, "Is my mother still here?" I ask.

Grace wraps her arm around me, "Ray and Cary have gone to find her" she says, I nod and a moment later the door opens and she walks in with Carrick and Ray she stares at me without a word, Grace leaves my side and squeezes my arm, then pulling on Christian's arm pulls him away, everyone melts away leaving me and my mother alone.

"Thank you for testifying" I say quietly

My mother shrugs and doesn't say a word. I look at her.

"Why did you smile at Morton when you took the stand?" I ask

"Well he is still a good looking man, despite his faults" she says.

I can't believe she said that, she was flirting with a man who raped her and who tried to rape me, my mouth drops open and I stare at her.

"Look Ana I have done my bit, until you apologise to me for what you said the last time we talked I don't think we have anything else to say to each other"

"Me? Apologise?" I ask incredulously

"You told me to go to hell Ana" she says

"Carla, you harassed my friends, you told lies about my husband, and you want me to leave my husband what part of that should I apologise for?" I ask

"Stop calling me Carla, I'm your mother" she says

"Well you should start acting like one, then maybe you will deserve the name" I spit

"I'm not standing here to take this, you have changed Ana, since you got with that man nobody else matters, he's not right for you, can't you see he is controlling you? and after what came out yesterday about his issues I fear for you" I stare at her, unable to say a word, when my brain finally catches up I am unable to do anything as the door flies open, it is clear everyone has been listening outside as Ray and Carrick barge in I see Elliot and Gideon holding back Christian, and Ray grabs Carla by the arm.

"Enough, you have done your part now leave, and don't bother my daughter again" Ray says

Carrick leads Carla away as I fall into Ray's arms sobbing.

Christian shakes himself free of Gideon and Elliot and runs towards me. "Ana baby come here" he says, I see the fear in his eyes, he is scared I may have listened to what Carla said.

"Baby I love you, I know I have issues from my past but please don't leave me" he says, at this moment I hate my mother she has made Christian doubt my love for him and brought out all his insecurities and self loathing.

"Oh Christian, please just hold me, I love you" I moan as I wrap my arms around him" I feel him relax as he clings to me.

"Its ok baby, its ok I'm here" he murmurs in my ear.


	42. Chapter 42

CHAPTER 42

The next day and it is the defence lawyers turn to question the witnesses. But when we arrive at the court we are ushered into a small room, where our lawyer and Carrick are waiting.

"Mr Grey, Mrs Grey, we have received a re-evaluated plea bargain request from the defence team, in light of everything that has come out in the last two days and extent of the evidence against them, they want the charge of attempted rape dropped against Morton, and the charges of physical abuse by Mrs Lincoln dropped, in return they are willing to plead guilty to the charge of abduction.

I shake my head vigorously, "No way, that man nearly raped me, if Gideon and Christian hadn't arrived when they did he would have managed it and don't forget I was pregnant at that time, so no way, and that woman hit me across my stomach with a cane, no I am prepared to take the stand again" I stop and look at Christian he nods.

"You heard my wife" he says simply, the lawyer leaves the room and when he returns we head out to the court room. Since Gideon and Christian's revelations the previous day the court is packed with press and hundreds more are camped outside.

"Fucking parasites" Christian mutters as we make our way past them.

When I am cross examined by the defence lawyer, I easily rebuff his questioning, and it seems as though the defence case just crumbles as everything he tries to say and twist I stand firm and reiterate what really happened. Morton and Elena don't help themselves much either, as when they take the stand they just squander their chance to put their side across by ranting and bawling and hurling insults at Christian and I. After several warnings the judge has them in contempt of court again and they are lead away. Christian and Gideon are both questioned and they confidently and calmly tie the defence lawyer up in knots. The defence lawyer avoids all of evidence that has been gathered by the security teams and Christian and Gideon's pasts relying on trying to pull apart their recollection and evidence of the day I was taken, but in the end he only succeeds in making his clients appear guiltier. The final nail in the coffin is when the security team are called and cross examined, being ex military Taylor and Sawyer are calm and just keep repeating the events of the day as they witnessed them despite the lawyer's desperate attempts to try and twist what they are saying. Raul and Angus are the same I am not sure of their backgrounds but they speak well and refuse to be intimidated.

The summing up is quick and our lawyer puts the case well. He also makes it clear that Damien was as much a victim as us and I'm glad he did, although he had agreed to give evidence against Elena and Morton, in return for a reduced sentence he is still up for a charge of accessory to the kidnapping, which could see him jailed. I am hoping that the jury see that he has been damaged by these evil people and I get my chance to state this in my witness statement. I stand and read a carefully prepared speech I wrote last night.

"I was a child when I first met and was abused by Stephen Morton. My husband was a child when he was abused by Elena Lincoln or whatever name she chooses to use. These two people are evil and the fact that they had a child together and damaged that child as severely as they did shows how they have no concept of decent and respectable human behaviour. I was abducted, whipped and restrained and I came very close to being raped, I was terrified and I feared for the life of my unborn child. I survived, unfortunately my child didn't, I hold those two responsible for the miscarriage I suffered as I should never have been subjected to that level of stress and abuse. I do not hold any grudge against Damien Ellis however; as I believe he is as much a victim as I am. I hope that those people get the punishment that they have escaped for so long and that for not only me, but for all their previous victims and that justice is finally served". I sit down and Christian wraps his arm around my shoulder and kisses me.

The jury is out for only half an hour before we are all called back in.

Elena and Morton are found guilty of abduction, Elena is found guilty of physical abuse and Morton is found guilty of sexual abuse and attempted rape. Damien was facing the lesser charge of accessory to the abduction and I was pleased that he was found not guilty on the grounds of diminished responsibility, he had suffered enough.

"Christian help him please" I whisper as Damien stands looking lost as Elena and Morton are lead away. Christian nods and glances at Gideon who nods and walks over to Damien, he immediately looks afraid and backs away.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" he mutters.

Gideon reaches out to him, "Relax Damien we want to help you, you have been treated appallingly by people who should have protected you, and we want to help you".

Damien nods glancing anxiously between Christian and Gideon. "Damien I am going to give you your job back at Cross Publishing on the condition you never have any contact with your parents again" Gideon says. Damien nods as Gideon continues, "I am transferring you to the Seattle office and we will help you relocate and find an apartment in Seattle" Damien looks surprised and goes to question why but Gideon continues, "Our reason for this is because Christian is going to put you in contact with Dr John Flynn who specialises in helping people and we are going to pay for whatever care you need for as long as you need it".

Damien looks stunned, "Why are you being so nice to me after what I did?" he asks

"Because none of it was your fault you were manipulated and used by them to do their bidding" Christian says.

"I don't know how to thank you" Damien says clearly overwhelmed.

We head back to our apartment and pack, I am not afraid to admit I am happy to be going home to Seattle. We are travelling back on Christian's jet with the rest of the Grey's, Ray, Taylor and Sawyer.

Gideon comes to the airport with Eva to see us off, "Well we will see you soon" Gideon says as he hugs us both warmly. Eva wraps her arms around Christian's waist and reaches up to kiss him on the cheek. I am happy to note he doesn't flinch when she does this.

"Gideon says we will be flying out to Seattle in a few weeks or so" she says

We all board the plane and take our seats; I close my eyes happy to be going home.

"Baby wake up we are back in Seattle" Christian is gently shaking me, I open my eyes and everyone is grinning at me, apparently I have slept the entire journey away in my seat.

I sit up and stretch and I glance out of the window, to see a drizzly Sea Tac and I have never been so pleased to see rainy Seattle in my life.

The next day I am sitting sprawled out on the sofa in the great room at Escala revelling in just being here "It's good to be home" I say as Christian comes and sits beside me. I glance at him and I can see he is excited about something.

"What is it?" I ask

He takes my hand gripping it and places a small kiss on my knuckles, "Baby, I know you wanted to just stay here and relax today, but I really want to take you somewhere, I have something I want to share with you, I promise you can rest when we get back" he says.

I look at him and I can't say no with the excitement practically oozing from him. "Ok" I say and go to pull myself up. Christian jumps up and yanks me to my feet, the next thing I know we are in the elevator with Luke who is grinning widely.

When we reach the garage Christian leads me to the R8 and Luke follows us in the SUV. I wonder where we are going we head out of Seattle and head north I am watching as we end up in a populated area, where there are some seriously large houses. I don't say anything as Christian pulls up outside a house and taps in a code at the gate, the gates open and we drive in, I look around at the grounds its so peaceful and beautiful and then I see this gorgeous house, it needs attention but I can see it has a beauty and character all of its own.

Christian stops the car and turns to me, "Please keep an open mind about this ok?" he says.

I nod and he smiles and jumps out of the car, coming around to me he opens my door and helps me out.

"Come with me" he says and he leads me to the front door, where he just opens it and lets himself in. I gasp in shock, until I notice the house is completely empty.

He leads me out to the back and points and the most stunningly breathtaking view I have ever seen, over the Sound. I stare it at.

"What do you think?" he asks anxiously

"It's unbelievable" I say not able to tear my eyes away from the view in front of me.

"Would you like to look at that view every day for the rest of your life?" he asks

I spin around and stare at him with my mouth open.

"You've bought this house?" I ask

"Not yet, but if you like it I will" he says.

"Can we look around?" I ask

He nods and out of nowhere a woman appears, "Mr Grey, Mrs Grey welcome" she says extending her hand to us, I realise she is the realtor. She shows us around the house and Christian starts explaining how he wants to demolish the house and build something new and self sustaining on the site. I feel sad at this thought, as this house although shabby has character.

I slip my hand into his, "Can't we keep this house and make it more self sustaining I really like _this _house" I say firmly.

"Really?" Christian asks, he thinks for a moment "In that case I'll get Elliot on it" he says

"So you are going to buy it?" I ask

Christian turns to the realtor, "you can close the sale" he says firmly. She beams at him and gets on the phone to finalise the details.

I wander around the house, I can visualise living here, it is huge but it has a lovely atmosphere and feels like a home. I go into the hallway and I visualise a huge Christmas tree with lights and decorations, I go upstairs and I know immediately which room I want to be ours and I look at the other bedrooms...children? I quickly put that thought out of my head for now, I feel at home here. We head outside and I take in the beautiful meadow, Christian joins me.

"i want to keep this meadow just like this" I say firmly

He stands behind me and wraps his arms around my waist, "Whatever you want it's yours" he says.

I walk and see some stables and outbuildings, "Christian could these be converted into a home for Taylor and Gail? That way Sophie would have somewhere to stay and she could visit Taylor more often" I go and see some more outbuildings, "These could be converted into a security office and quarters for Luke so he has more privacy than he gets now when he is on duty at Escala". I run around the front of the house, and I see the overgrown gardens as a beautiful yet natural garden. Then we head down the meadow towards the sound, I see the beach and I visualise everyone here having a barbeque on the beach. I turn to Christian my eyes shining.

"This is going to be our home, I can see it all now I can see how it will be" I say

Christian's face breaks into a huge grin, and he sweeps me up into his arms and spins me around before kissing me soundly.

A discreet cough disturbs us, "Erm excuse me Sir, Mrs Grey" we turn and see Luke looking apologetically at us.

"Yes" Christian snaps

"Erm, Sir we have a situation at Escala, it appears Mrs Adams has turned up and is demanding to speak to Mrs Grey, Taylor has informed her you are not in and she is accusing him of trying to keep her away from her daughter".


	43. Chapter 43

CHAPTER 43

Luke looks apologetically at me and I feel my anger rising, I reach into my pocket to realise I have left my phone at home. So I turn to Christian, my hand outstretched.

"Give me your phone please" I say.

Christian immediately fishes his Blackberry out of his jeans pocket and hands it to me, I call my mothers cell phone and wait.

"What do you want? Have your goon squad reported to you already? You can't keep me from my daughter, stop being a damn coward and come down from your ivory tower and speak to me face to face" comes the rude greeting, I realise she thinks it's Christian but this only makes me angrier.

"What do you want Carla?" I snap unable to keep my tone civil.

There is a deathly silence, and then my mother speaks, "Ana is that you?" she says in a calmer tone

"Yes it is, and yes the respected highly trained security team who work tirelessly and risk their own safety to keep us safe have informed us of your presence, and nobody is keeping you from me, we are not at home we are out and will be for the day, I will ask again what do you want?" I say.

"I want to talk to you Ana I want to make things right between us" she says

I snort derisively "Well accusing my husband of keeping me from you is not going to make me want to speak to you, the way you spoke to me when you thought it was Christian was disgusting, he is my husband and he deserves to be spoken to with courtesy and respect, he has done nothing to you other than be generous and kind, and referring to our hard working security team as the goon squad has done nothing but severely piss me off " I say, I am on a roll now, and my free hand is wildly pointing as though she is in front of me.

"Ana please, I want to speak to you" she says again

"Carla I have just told you we are out for the day, we were not expecting you and we had plans, I suggest you go and book yourself into a motel I am back at work tomorrow and although i will be busy after being away for so long I will try and find some time during my lunch break to see you tomorrow" I say and hang up before she can answer.

I hand Christian his phone back and he smirks at me as he takes it. I glance at Luke and see he is hiding his amusement behind his hand.

"Baby have you any idea how much you turn me on when you act all feisty?" Christian whispers in my ear.

I glance down and see the evidence of his arousal straining against the zip of his jeans.

"Come on lets go home then" I say

On the drive back, Christian grasps my hand as we are driving along, "Thank you for defending me baby" he says

"You're welcome" I reply, I wonder where this is heading.

"It...it made me feel...cherished" he says quietly

I turn and face him, "that's because you are" I say, I stroke his arm, "I protect what is mine" I say carefully, his head whips to mine and he gives me his shy smile".

"Eyes on the road baby" I say using the same words he says to me when he is criticising my driving skills.

"Yes dear" he replies with a grin.

As we get closer to Escala, I call Taylor on Christian's phone, "Hi Jason, its me Ana " I say when he answers.

"Mrs Grey, what can I do for you?" he says

"I'm sorry about my mother, has she gone?" I ask

"Yes Mrs Grey, she left after you hung up on her, and she asked me to inform you she would be staying at the motel at Sea Tac and she called a cab and went" Taylor replies.

"Thank you, and I'm really sorry you had to handle that on your day off" I say

"All part of the job Mrs Grey" he replies stoically

"Well it shouldn't be" I say firmly.

As I hang up Christian's phone buzzes in my hand and I see it is Gideon, "Gideon is calling shall I answer?" I say

Christian nods, "Put it on speaker baby" he says nodding towards the cradle on the dash in front of us. I do as he asks and Christian speaks "Gideon, how are you, you are on speakerphone, and Ana is with me" .

"Hi Gideon" I call

"Hi guys, I have discovered who posted bail for Barker" Gideon says

"Really, who?" Christian asks

"It was Corrine" he says shortly I can tell by the tone of his voice this has upset him, but I have no idea who Corrine is, I look questioningly at Christian and he shrugs clearly as confused as I am.

"Who is Corrine?" I ask carefully

"My ex fiancé, she turned up in New York last week and has been hounding me ever since, she broke off our engagement and married and went to live in France, the marriage has fallen apart and she has returned to the States I have no idea how she got involved with Barker, but she crossed a line by posting bail for him". he says.

"It sounds like she is jealous of Eva and wants you back Gideon" I say

"I don't love her, I never loved her, when she asked me to marry her I said yes but regretted it as soon as I'd done it, she knew nothing about me she never even spent a full night with me, after a few months of me making excuses she broke off the engagement and went off with Giroux and married him I didn't give her another thought, I assumed she was happy and I had been reprieved I'm so confused I don't know what to think" he says.

Christian looks equally out of his depth, yet I can see exactly what has happened. "Gideon it is obvious what has happened, she called off the engagement and went off with this other guy to try and make you jealous so you would fight for her, it backfired on her because you didn't and let her go, the marriage has fallen apart and now she has come back hoping to pick up where you left off, my guess is she isn't aware of what Barker was really like and he spun her some story about wanting Eva back or something and she decided to help him in the hopes it would bring you back to her" I stop there is silence on the line.

"But that is so manipulative" he says quietly with a distinct tone of disgust in his voice.

"Love makes you do crazy things Gideon" I say

"Does Eva know about Corrine?" I ask

"Good god no" he replies

"Then Gideon, you need to sit down with her and tell her and explain everything, she won't thank you for keeping her in the dark" I say firmly, I look at Christian as I say this and he smirks at me.

"Ok, I'll talk to her tonight, on a lighter note I have bought a home in Seattle, a penthouse apartment in a block not too far from Escala we are flying out next weekend to check out what my team have done" he says.

"That's wonderful news, Christian has bought us a house on the coast, its beautiful we have been there today, when you are in town we will take you and show you" I say excitedly.

"Sound like a plan, thanks guys and thank you Ana for your female wisdom, I will talk to Eva tonight" with that he hangs up.

We pull into the car park at Escala and Christian grabs his phone as we exit the car, I see Luke pull up into the space beside the R8 and we head to the elevator, Taylor is waiting for us when the doors open.

"What's wrong?" I ask

"Mrs Adams has called and informed me that it doesn't matter any more about meeting up tomorrow, she is on her way back to Georgia"

I look confused, and Taylor looks uncomfortable. "After some investigation it would appear that Mrs Adams was looking to build bridges because she had nowhere else to go, but since your call to her she got in contact with Mr Adams and he agreed to take her back, so she left the motel and caught a flight to Georgia. I'm sorry Ana she has gone".

I don't know why I feel so gutted about this, I feel used, she didn't want to make amends at all she was just using me, she wanted somewhere to stay, I fold my arms around myself, I see Gail watching from a distance and as I look at her she instinctively walks towards me and holds open her arms I walk into them and sob on her shoulder. After a few moments I pull away.

"I'm sorry Gail" I say quietly

"Don't you dare apologise Mrs Grey" she says firmly. "I'm sorry for speaking out of line but she doesn't deserve you as a daughter, she really doesn't, I have never met such a..."

"That's enough Gail" Taylor snaps glaring at Gail, "I'm sorry sir, Mrs Grey" he adds

"No Jason" I say, "What did she say to you Gail, she obviously upset you I want to know?" I look at Gail and she goes red and glances at Jason and then at Christian.

"It doesn't matter Mrs Grey" she says eventually

"Yes it does" I say firmly, if she was rude to you I want to know" I say.

"Mrs Grey, she wasn't rude to me, she was rude to Jason and it made me angry how she spoke to him, and how she spoke about Mr Grey" she says.

"What did she say?" I ask again

Taylor sighs and rubs his eyes. "I got word from the front desk security that she was asking to be admitted I went down to her, Gail was just coming in and witnessed the erm scene she caused down in the lobby. I informed her that Mr Grey and yourself were out for the day, and she said I don't believe you he has sent you down to stop me from seeing my daughter. I tried to reason with her saying she needed to leave, and she said that I was not going to push her about, that she wanted to speak to the organ grinder not his monkey and she demanded that you came down or she would come up. I told her again that you were not at home, and she told me that I was a fucking asswipe just like my boss, while this was going on Gail called Luke and told him what was happening. Mrs Adams saw her and accused her of calling the cops on her, she didn't realise who Gail was, and she said that if she was going to call the cops she should tell them that Christian Grey is holding her daughter and keeping her from her family, Gail walked away and returned to the apartment at that point, she shouted after her saying that she hoped she had a conscience and would do something about her neighbour. She turned back to me and I was just texting Luke, and she went ballistic assuming I was texting Mr Grey and that he was upstairs. Then her phone rang and it was Mrs Grey I don't know what you said to her but when you hung up on her she screamed at the phone, that you were no daughter of hers and she turned herself around and left, she said she was staying at the motel at Sea Tac as she was walking away, I followed her out of the building and I heard her calling Mr Adams and asking if she could come home, a short while later she called me saying she no longer wanted to talk with you and she was returning to Georgia". Taylor stops and looks at me uncertainly.

I trust Taylor and I know that he is speaking the truth, I swallow hard and I look at Christian without a word.

"Come here baby" Christian says gently and pulls me towards him, he rocks me silently in his arms as I cling to him and fresh tears fall.


	44. Chapter 44

CHAPTER 44

I can't believe my mother caused such a scene. It has left me resolved not to have anything to do with her again.

When I eventually pull away from Christian, I turn and discover both Gail and Taylor have gone and we are alone.

"I need to talk to Jason" I say to Christian, he nods at me takes my hand as I walk towards the security office. When I knock and push open the door Taylor stands immediately. I turn to Christian.

"I'd like to talk to Jason alone please" I say

Christian hesitates and then nods and leaves us alone, I take a seat on a leather chair and Jason comes to sit beside me.

"Jason I am really sorry she spoke to you like that, it was totally unforgivable. Can you do something for me, can you make sure she is blocked from contacting me again, i don't want anything more to do with her she has crossed lines so many times and I have forgiven her so many times, but this is the end, I've had it".

"No problem Mrs Grey, but excuse me for saying this but this could make her worse and she already believes that Mr Grey is trying to keep you from her, if you were to block her that would validate those assumptions and it cause her to do something more public". He looks at me sympathetically.

"What do you suggest I do then?" I ask

"Leave things alone, we will keep a discreet eye on her in case she does something stupid like talk to the media but I suggest that you are available for her to speak to should she get in contact then she can't accuse anyone of anything" he says.

I snort, "I'm sure she will think of something" I say sarcastically. I nod, "Ok thank you Jason and I am really sorry". I add

"No problem at all Mrs Grey" he says kindly, as I stand up he stands and shows me out.

I go in search of Christian and find him in the Great Room on the phone, he is lounging on the sofa his bare feet propped up on the small table in front of him, from the conversation he is having it is obvious he is talking to Elliot, he is relaying my ideas for the house and arranging to meet him there to discuss what can be done and for him to get his opinion. I listen in to the one sided conversation.

"Ana just wants the place smartening up, she likes it as it is, so it shouldn't take too long, as there won't be any major renovations...that's great...so come and meet me for lunch tomorrow at Grey House and we will head over ...yes ...thank El bye". He hangs up and turns to me, "I'm taking Elliot to the house tomorrow for him to have a look at what needs to be done, will you come with us?" he asks.

I nod enthusiastically.

The next day I am back at work and it doesn't feel like I have been away at all let alone for the amount of time I have been away for, I have slipped back into work and I am eager to prove I am not a dead weight, I arrived early to get a head start and plough through several manuscripts and by 10am I am astonished by impressed with myself at what I have accomplished. When the other editors arrived we had a meeting to bring everything up to date and to bring me up to speed on what I had missed. Damien was looking a little uncomfortable during this meeting as everyone was staring at him. Gideon joined us on video conference from New York, and he laid down the law as to what he expected of his employees attitude and reception of Damien and myself. When the meeting was complete Gideon asked for me to remain when he dismissed everyone.

"Has everyone gone?" he asks a few moments later.

I glance around, and nod, "yes I'm alone, what's up?" I ask

"Ana I need your advice, I want to propose to Eva" I squeal in delight and my hands fly to my mouth. I smile widely at Gideon and he returns that smile with a shy one so similar to Christians.

"I want it to be simple and perfect, but I want it to be us, we both love beaches we have good memories of beaches and I want you and Christian there to help us celebrate you two know us better than anyone else and vice versa we have been through so much together so I want you there for something wonderful, so I know this is a possibly a stupid question but are there any suitable beaches or anywhere similar in Seattle, as I was planning to propose when we come over at the weekend.

My mind immediately goes to the beach at the bottom of our garden at the new house, and I nod enthusiastically and describe the private beach we have at the new house, and how I had imagined having barbeques here with all our family and friends as soon as I saw it.

"That sounds perfect, would you guys help me?" he asks

"Of course we will, I am going to the house today with Christian, to meet Elliot at lunchtime to go through the renovations we want, I'll get Christian to call you and we will head to the beach while we are there and if you can see it for yourself if you Facetime us"

"That's a brilliant idea thank you Ana" he says

"No problem, look I have to get on, I don't want my ass fired" I say with a grin.

He laughs "Never" he replies, "Ok thanks Ana I'll talk to you both later" and with that the screen goes black.

I head back to my office and return to my work I have hardly got started when there is a quiet knock. "Come in" I call, pausing what I am doing.

I see Damien hesitating and Luke standing behind him.

"What's wrong?" I ask trying to fight the sudden surge of panic that has coursed through me.

"Ana I wanted to talk to you, I wanted to say, how sorry I am and how grateful I am to Mr Grey and Mr Cross for giving me this opportunity to make amends. I don't want there to be any bad feeling between us, what I did was unforgivable, but they had some kind of hold on me" he stops and shakes his head.

I stand and walk towards him "Damien, they are your parents of course they have a hold on you, you need to believe your parents have your best interests at heart, and when they don't its a terrible betrayal, but realising that and letting them go is the healthiest thing you can do, you need to forgive them, as they have their own demons which has caused them to act the way they have, forgive them but make sure they never get the chance to hurt you again"

I think about what I have just said, that applies to Christian and his birth mother, my relationship with Carla and Gideon's with his mother to some extent. I sigh and walk closer and hug him, he wraps his arms around me and sobs on my shoulder.

"I am so sorry Ana, you are the nicest person I have ever met" he says between his sobs.

"Come on, lets get on with our work" I say gently pushing myself away from him.

He nods and leaves, leaving Luke staring at me. "You are a very wise woman Mrs Grey, but I won't mention to Mr Grey that hug" he says before turning and taking up his post outside my office.

I am finishing off some notes and putting together the pile of manuscripts ready for filing when my office door opens, Christian stands there beaming at me.

"Hi" he says quietly

"Hi" I reply as I glance at my watch.

"Are you ready baby?" he asks

"I am, just give me one moment I say as I finish what I am doing, I throw a manuscript on the pile and stand up. "there done, oh by the way I spoke to Gideon this morning, he wants to propose to Eva while they are in Seattle at the weekend, and apparently they both have a thing about beaches so he asked me if there was anywhere around here and I immediately thought of the beach at our new house, he is going to Facetime us while we are there so he can see it"

Christian nods, "Ok, well its about time, he has been going on for weeks about how Eva is the person for him and how she is the love of his life and how he wants the legality and stability that we have"

We drive over to the house where Elliot is waiting for us, we go over what I want and he assures me that what I am asking for shouldn't take too long at all and we should be in by Christmas.

I gape at him, "Christmas, as in Christmas this year?" I say

Elliot nods, "Definitely as long as we don't find any nasty surprises, its all pretty superficial, and I can get the whole crew on it as I have a free window from the beginning of October for about a month or so". I clap my hands and hug Elliot he laughs and spins me around.

We leave Elliot to his measuring and note taking and head down to the beach, Christian calls Gideon and we set up Facetime as soon as his beaming grin appears on my iphone I turn it and show him the beach , I pan around so he can see it all, then turn the phone back to me.

"What do you think?" I ask

"Its perfect, its so beautiful " he says his eyes shining.

Christian takes my phone, "let me know what you need and I'll get it organised, it's going to be easy getting her here we can come under the guise of showing you the new house, and then we can show you the grounds and you can come down here and do your thing"

Christian and Gideon talk for a few moments longer until I point out I need to get back to work.

"I'll call you later my friend and we will discuss this further and make arrangements" he says. They hang up and Christian hands me my phone back.

_Meanwhile, in New York..._

I have just got off the phone with Christian and Ana and I have seen the most perfect place to propose to Eva. I love beaches, my early memories of my parents taking me on holiday and my father playing in the sand with me, they are amongst my most treasured memories.

As soon as I am through with the call, I get a message informing me that the diamond I had requested has been delivered and will be ready for me to view tomorrow. I am so anxious about this, I have dropped so many hints about getting married, but Eva keeps saying its too soon. Admittedly we were a mess when we started out, we drained each other with our mutual boatload of baggage and most of the time it felt like we were drowning, it wasn't good, but I have never ever felt anything like how I feel with Eva, the closest was with Ana, but it is obvious to anyone that she and Christian are soul mates they are so in tune with each other and I feel that with Eva, she makes me complete.

Eva is doing her Krav Maga training tonight and I am going to surprise her by going to see her. She has really stepped up with it since her reaction when Nathan reappeared. She said she didn't want to react like that if she was in danger again. Now I swear with everything I have she will never be in a position like that again, I will protect her with my own life, but she enjoys going and it boosts her confidence.

Angus is waiting for me and we drive over to Brooklyn to Parkers studio, its an impressive place, I know that Richard Stanton put a lot of money into the place when Eva's mother found out about it. Jeez that woman, tracking her own daughter, I can understand how she felt though, when I become a father I will probably do the same thing if I have a daughter. I smile at that thought. A family of my own, that is a dream of mine now since Eva gave me the chance of a life I never thought I could have she has me thinking of all kinds of possibilities, and being someone's father is high up on that list.

I see Clancy waiting for Eva, he strolls over and shakes my hand. "Eva never said you were fetching her?" he asks

"No, I've come to surprise her I wanted to see her in action" I say

"She's good, damn good, she surprised me the few times I have caught her in action" he says proudly.

I nod and head inside leaving him chatting with Angus.

I spot Eva immediately and I instantly get hard as stone, she looks amazing she is sparring with a woman and I see her body flexing and straining. I adjust myself and sit down on the bleachers my eyes fixed on her. She took the news about Corrine quite well, I took Ana's advice and told her everything, I assured her I love her and that Corrine means nothing to me. I have decided not to pursue what she did. I believe that she was duped by Barker and I don't want to give any further attention to her or that whole situation.

A tall black guy with bulging muscles comes up and Eva starts to spar with him. he comes up behind her and grabs her, the jealousy shoots through me as I see this and I have to physically stop myself from leaping off the bleachers and pounding him. I watch as she throws him and he lands on the round with a thud. As she does this she sees me and does a double take at me.

She grins and helping up the man whispers something to him and nods towards me, he glances at me and nods and they start this full on sparring. My heart comes into my mouth a few times but she is unbelievable I just stare in awe at her. When she eventually stops she wanders over drinking her water and wiping her face on a towel.

"That was fucking hot" I splutter before I can stop myself

Eva laughs and sits beside me, "This is a nice surprise" she says bumping her shoulder against mine.

"Angel I want to take you home and fuck you so hard. I am uncomfortable I am so aroused" I growl in her ear.

"Well if that's the case who am I to argue" she says with a grin. I realise I have to get up and I have a raging hard on.

"Erm I have a problem Angel" I whisper glancing down at myself

Eva grins and hands me her gym duffel and coat to carry. Thankfully we are near the doors and I manage to slip out without embarrassing myself. When I get outside I see Angus is alone and Clancy has gone.

On the ride home I have fantasies of pulling her onto my painfully hard cock but I restrain myself until we get back to the penthouse. Just! I practically drag her into the bedroom and throw her on the bed whilst releasing my cock with the other, within moments of being back I am inside her, thrusting deeply and savouring every moment.


	45. Chapter 45

CHAPTER 45

_**EVA'S PERSPECTIVE**_

Something is going on, Gideon is constantly on the phone to Christian this week and I feel like he is pulling away from me. After his surprise visit to my Krav Maga class on Monday and the fabulous sex when we got home he has been, I don't know... distant. I'm scared I can't begin to contemplate life without Gideon in it, I wonder if it has anything to do with the issues he is having with his ex, I wonder if he wants her back and wants to try again with her, the thought makes me feel ill.

I am beginning to wonder if he regrets what he did, for him to a kill a man for me goes beyond anything I have ever known before, and I assumed that this would bring us closer, but now it seems it is pulling us apart, I guess his conscience can't come to terms with what he did, even if in his mind he felt he was doing the right thing. My mind is all over the place at the moment, i have no idea what he is thinking and all the time the gulf between us is just getting bigger. We are supposed to be flying out to see the apartment in Seattle he has bought, and to see Ana and Christian, but at this moment I don't even know if that will happen. I need to talk to someone about this but the only people I could talk to are Christian and Ana, and I don't want to burden them any further, they have been dragged in enough already.

I glance at the clock it is nearly 9pm and Gideon still isn't home, I can't stand it any more and I call Ana for a chat.

"Hi Ana" i say when she picks up, I try to sound happy but I fail miserably.

"Eva, are you ok?" she asks her concern makes all my defences crumble, her kind voice breaches the dam and I start to cry.

"I don't know Ana, something is wrong between Gideon and I, he has been so distant this week, he is never here and when he is he's not if you get what I mean, there is a distance between us I feel like he is pulling away from me, I have no idea what's gone wrong, if he didn't want me any more I couldn't stand it". I blurt out in a rush between the sobs.

"Hey, hey, hey, calm down Eva, slow down and tell me what's happened from the beginning" Ana says in a soothing voice.

I take a deep breath and tell her everything, how he told me all about Corrine and how everything was good and how he came to watch me at Krav Maga but then how after Monday and our marathon sex session he has hardly touched me, he has been at work all the time and when he is here his head is some place else, Ana listens to me and lets me get it all out.

"I wouldn't worry too much Eva, he probably has something going on at work, Christian, is the same when he is having work issues" she says

I feel a pang of hope blossoming at these words; I grab them and hang on to them.

"Do you think so?" I ask hopefully

"I know so" she says, "Men are strange creatures and if something is bothering them they retreat to their caves, Christian can be unbearable when he is working through GEH issues" she says.

"Ok" I say feeling somewhat reassured.

"Eva, Gideon loves you, he adores you, its blatantly obvious to anyone in the vicinity how much he loves you...its quite sickening really!" she says with a giggle.

I laugh, "You can talk, the way you and Christian are isn't much better!" I retort.

"There you go then, you know he isn't going to leave you, he loves you, you are his life Eva" she says sincerely.

We chat a while longer and when we hang up I do feel a little better about things.

_Back in Seattle..._

I have just hung up from Eva and I hope my bullshit has pacified her, I go to find Christian and find him in his office laughing on the phone. He glances at me.

"Are you talking to Gideon?" I ask

Christian nods, I walk up to him gesturing to his phone letting him know I want to speak to Gideon.

"Hang on Gideon, Ana is here she wants to talk to you" Christian says. He hands his phone over to me.

"Ana!" Gideon exclaims brightly

"Gideon are you still at the office?" I ask

"I am why?" he replies a little taken a back by my harsh tone.

"I'll tell you why, because you have been concentrating on getting everything sorted with proposing to your girlfriend, you have been ignoring her and she thinks you want to break up with her, she has just called me in tears saying you have been so distant this week, that you have hardly touched her, are spending too much time at the office and when you are with her you are not really there, she even thinks you want to get back with Corrine and are looking for a way to dump her. I know why you are acting like that so I offered her some bullshit that you probably have some work issue which is bothering you, I even lied to her and told her that Christian behaves like that when he has work issues, so you need to get your ass back home and show her some attention". I stop.

There is a silence for a few moments, "shit" he breathes eventually, "I have been so preoccupied with making sure this is perfect ...I...I never realised she felt this way, I love her Ana I would never do anything to intentionally hurt her, I don't want Corrine" he says.

"Well get your ass back home and tell her you love her and for gods sake don't let on that I have spoken to you, if she says anything go with the I have work issues and I am sorry line".

"Thank you for letting me know Ana, I'll head home now, say goodnight to Christian for me" he says and then he is gone. I smile handing Christian his phone back.

"Gideon said goodbye " I say with a grin. Christian takes his phone and puts it on the desk. He suddenly looks very serious and businesslike.

"Ana can we talk?" he says, I look at him wondering what caused this sudden change in mood.

"Yes of course" I say, he pulls me down to sit in front of him on his desk and takes my hands in his. He pauses and then, changes his mind and pulls me into his lap and wraps his arms around me, he buries his nose in my hair and inhales deeply.

"Christian what's wrong?" I ask, suddenly afraid

"Ana...i ...I don't know how to say this..." he says

I turn in his arms and face him, I let him see the worry on my face, and I touch his cheek.

"Just tell me Christian you are scaring me now, you were laughing with Gideon when I came in, and now you have totally changed" I say

He nods at me and grips me tighter as if he is scared I will run away, "I want a family, my own family" he blurts out, he takes a breath and before I can answer he is talking again "how would you feel about trying for a baby, we are financially stable and when i got used to the idea before, I was quite looking forward to it and then it was taken away, can we try again?" he stops and looks at me, I don't answer straight away and I see fear appear in his eyes.

"Can I think it over?" I say gently

He nods "Of course you can, it is your body and I don't want to force you into anything so life changing" he stops and searches my face.

I smile at him and decide to be totally honest, "I won't lie I'm scared, I really don't want to go through what I went through when we lost the baby ever again, I want to make sure I am totally ready for this as you say its life changing, I have just got my dream job, plus I am only 21 years old, I'm not saying no, but I need time to think everything though".

Christian nods at me and holds me tighter. "I have been talking to Gideon and he said how he feels since he met Eva, how she has given him hope of a life he never thought he could have, it was like he was talking about me, I felt exactly the same when I met you. You know how I was, I wasn't living, I was existing. He said he was having fantasies of having a family with Eva and he relished the thought of being someone's father, it made me think of our baby that we lost, and it made me realise I want that too, I have had dreams at night about it Ana, I dreamt I was running through that meadow at the new house with my child, I want my own family, my wife and my children" he stops.

I think about what he is saying, "Christian, children aren't possessions" I say carefully

"I know that, I just...I love you Ana you know that you are my life, you are my reason for living and to have a baby with you, someone, another human being on this earth because of our love a physical embodiment of our love for each other, its a mind blowing thought, and the more I think about it the more I find myself wanting it. I have no idea if I will be a good father, but I know you will help me and..." I stop him by pressing my finger against his lips.

"Ok" I say with a smile.

"What?" he says confused.

"Lets make a baby!" I say.

The joy on Christian's face is unbelievable, he kisses me almost violently and scooping me up in his arms he carries me into the bedroom. When we get there he sets me on my feet and I go to the drawer and throw my pills in the bin.

He comes towards me and grasping my shoulders he tilts my chin up to look him in the face, "you are sure about this? I thought you wanted time to think it though, I don't want to rush you into anything?" He looks concerned and afraid again.

I nod at him, "I'm sure, I went through all the pro's and con's before, if I was prepared to do it before when we weren't even together at the time and I would have been bringing up the baby alone, I shouldn't have any now". I say

His face softens, "You wouldn't have been alone, I would have come to my senses eventually – which I did if you remember?" With that he lifts me on to the bed and removes my clothes I watch as he undresses himself and lowers himself down on top of me, I feel his erection pressing against my stomach.

"I know you did, you know what I mean, when I decided to keep the baby we weren't together and I was going to be a single mother, that's what I meant" I say wanting to clarify what I meant. Christian nods at me.

"I know baby, I know what you meant, I was a complete asshole then" he says softly brushing my hair from my face, his hands move down my body he looks at me and speaks again, "You are totally sure about this?" he asks again as he busies himself playing with my breast.

I nod, "I'm sure, but don't expect anything to happen straight away, I took my last tablet this morning so it could be a while before I conceive" I know what Christian is like when he sets his mind to something he expects results immediately, and baby making doesn't work like that.

He kisses my breast and sucks on my nipple before he lifts his head up, "there is no harm in practicing though is there?" he says with a grin.


	46. Chapter 46

CHAPTER 46

The next morning I switch my phone on and a text comes through from Eva I read it and smile.

_**-You were right, everything is good, thank you c u Sat **___

I quickly text her back.

_**-Can't wait and I told you so! **_

Christian walks up behind me and wraps his arm around my waist, I feel him looking over my shoulder.

"Who are you texting baby?" he asks

"Eva" I reply. He nibbles my ear and kisses my neck, and I put down my phone and turn in his arms. "What are you doing?" I ask and I lift my head up for him to kiss me.

"Nothing, I want to kiss my wife, and I want to hold her in my arms, and now I am going to do this" He moves quickly and scoops me up over his shoulder and I squeal in shock as I grip his back, and he laughs striding back with me over his shoulder into our bedroom. He lowers me on to the bed and then covers me with his body. He starts to kiss me slowly and then oh so gently he removes my clothes and despite my protests that we will be late for work ignores me and proceeds to caress me and I feel the love in his touch, he told me that he didn't make love, he just fucked hard, well yes he does fuck hard, but he can be gentle and at this moment all I feel is love and I touch him, I move slowly and deliberately so I don't startle him and he closes his eyes and throws his head back as I run my hands over his bare chest, but it isn't fear he is feeling it is enjoyment he is learning to love my touch. He lets out a sigh as he enters me and then he starts to move oh so slowly and deliberately. I meet him thrust for thrust and we move together as one, and I want this to last for ever, I moan as I start to build towards my orgasm I feel the heat inside building and I grip him tighter, he starts to move faster.

"Give it up for me baby" he whispers in my ear, I moan again as the pleasure starts to escalate, I am so close and I know Christian is too. The gentle sweet thrusts of earlier have now been replaced by something more primal, and we move together in harmony until the moment arrives and I cry out Christians name and grip his shoulders to me, he thrusts a couple more times and he calls out my name and buries his head in my neck as I feel him come deep inside me.

"Oh baby that was good" he whispers in my ear, I feel him smile as he adds, "I do like this baby making practice"

I smile and hold him close in silence.

Taylor makes sure I'm not late for work and drops Luke and I off first before taking Christian to Grey House, as he pulls up outside Cross Publishing Christian tugs me towards him and wraps his arms around me kissing me fiercely.

"I love you so much baby" he whispers in my ear as he finally lets me go.

"I love you too" I reply

I head inside with Luke and sit down at my desk and make a start on the pile of manuscripts I have. About half way through the morning my phone rings, I reach for it "Ana Grey speaking" I say automatically.

"Ana it's Bob, how are you?" I pause in surprise at Bob's voice.

"Hi Bob, I'm fine what can I do for you?" I ask warily

"This is a little strange but do you have any idea where your mother is? She called me yesterday saying she was in Seattle and that she wanted to come home, and that she was sorry and would I forgive her, I agreed and she said she was going to get the next flight out to Atlanta, and then get a flight out to Savannah, I have been at the airport for nearly three hours now and she seems to have vanished after she landed in Atlanta, she didn't catch the connecting flight to Savannah, I was wondering if she called you or anything?"

I sigh, "Oh Bob, I'm sorry but she and I had a bit of a disagreement on Sunday, Christian and I were out when she called and she caused a bit of a scene in the downstairs lobby of our apartment block she accused Jason – our head of security and Christian of keeping me from her. I called her on Christians phone and she obviously thought it was him and mouthed off at me before she realised it was actually me. I told her I would see her – which would have been yesterday, but I was later informed that she had left a message saying she was returning to Georgia, I've not heard anything since, but to be honest with you Bob, I really don't care any more, that woman has let me down so any times I've had it with her".

"I see, well thanks anyway Ana, I won't bother you again" he says

"Bob wait" I say hurriedly, "Listen, if I hear anything I'll let you know, you are a good man and you were good for her, I'm sorry she didn't treat you better"

"Thank you Ana, she has treated us both badly, I'm sorry I didn't get to know you better, you are a good girl. I'd better go now anyway, I'll let you get on with your work, Bye Ana" he says and the line goes dead. I stare at the phone for a moment and then I rummage for my cell phone, I call Taylor.

"Hi Taylor, can you do me a favour?" I ask when he answers

"Certainly Mrs Grey, what do you need" he replies

"Bob has just called me, mom has gone AWOL she landed at Atlanta but didn't get her connecting flight to Savannah I don't suppose there is anything you could do to try and track her down and find out where she went is there?" I ask

"I'll see what I can do Mrs Grey, I m at SIP at the moment with the executive team but when we get back to Grey House I'll contact Welch and see what he can come up with" he replies,

"Thank you" I say gratefully and hang up. The executive team is Ros I smile as I think about straight to the point Ros being called the executive team. I think no more of my mother and continue with my work a while later Luke enters my office looking grim.

"Mrs Grey, I have been told I have to take you to Grey House immediately" he says.

I glance at my watch and I see it is almost lunch time so I decide to take my lunch break now, I grab my purse and follow Luke out.

"What's going on?" I ask as we take the elevator down to the garage area.

"I'm not sure, T just called and asked me to take you to Grey House immediately" he says

"But it can't be anything good for him to do that?" I ask

I see Luke hesitate, and I look straight at him, "No" he replies eventually.

When I arrive at Grey House Luke takes me straight up to Christian's office. When we arrive Andrea stands and directs me straight in. As I open the door I see Christian lying on the large sofa in his office, he is curled up in the foetal position and Taylor and another man are sitting at a table with some papers in front of him and Taylor keeps glancing at Christian, he looks really worried. Taylor stands as soon as he sees me and lets me see his concerned face which is unlike him, and immediately make me on alert as he looks across at his employer once again and the second man also stands and offers his hand out to me.

"Geoff Welch, pleased to meet you Mrs Grey" he says quietly, he too looks worried sick.

Oh so this is the famous Welch who Christian calls from time to time when it comes to security matters.

I smile and say hello but I am concerned about Christian he hasn't even acknowledged the fact I have entered the room it is obvious he has shut down, something is terribly wrong, I turn to the two men. "Excuse me gentlemen would you give me a moment alone with my husband?" I ask.

They both nod and leave the room I see a look of relief wash over them both and Luke goes with them as soon as the door is shut I turn to Christian and walk towards him.

"Christian what is it?" I ask

I touch his arm and I worry as he flinches violently, "Christian talk to me" I say getting more afraid by the moment.

"I saw him, he's here in Seattle, I know it was him I'd know him anywhere" Christian is rambling this is not like him.

"Christian, look at me you are not making any sense, talk to me, tell me what has upset you, who have you seen?" I ask

Christian looks at me and I see the lost look on his face he slowly unfolds and sits up and pulls me to him, wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his head on my stomach he is clinging to me I touch his back and he flinches again. "Christian talk to me please" I beg

"It was him...the crack whore's pimp I know it was" he says quietly

"Are you sure? You were only a small child back then it was 24 years ago at least, he would have aged if he was in his early 20's he would be in his late 40's now?" I ask

"I'm sure it was" he says

"Ok well don't panic he can't hurt you now, you are a grown man there isn't anything he can do to hurt you now" I say firmly, willing him to come back to me. "I am going to fetch Taylor and Welch and I will listen to what they have to say and we will take it from there ok?" Christian nods at me. I am shocked by his reaction to this man; this was the animal that scarred Christian for life by putting out cigarettes on him. Immediately I feel my anger rising I want to find this man and I want to do the same to him.

I crouch in front of Christian, "I won't let him hurt you, he can't hurt you do you understand me, I won't let him hurt you ever again" I say to him.

He flings his arms around me and I feel him shaking, "I love you so much" he whispers.

"I know you do, and I love you too" I say. "Now I'm just going to fetch Taylor and Welch and we can sort this out ok?" I say.

He releases his hold on me and I go to call in Taylor and Welch, they both look worried.

"How is he?" Taylor says quietly

"Not good, give me a moment will you?" I say

I turn to Luke, I am quickly writing on a scrap of paper, "Luke I need you to go to this address and bring Dr John Flynn here now, tell him its an emergency tell him Mrs Grey will compensate him for any loss but he is needed here now this minute" I hand Luke the piece of paper which I have scribbled Dr Flynns address on, he nods and leaves. I walk over to Andrea she stands as soon as I approach.

"When Luke returns with another gentleman, please let them straight through, but nobody else, nobody, not even Ros" I say.

"Yes Mrs Grey" she replies, she hesitates, "Excuse me Mrs Grey is everything alright?" she asks

I shake my head, "No but it will be" I say with a weak smile. I walk into Christian's office with Taylor and Welch and the sight breaks my heart. I quickly close the door so nobody will see in.

Christian is still sitting on his sofa he has his knees drawn up now and he is rocking .

I turn to Taylor and Welch, "Whatever you see in here and whatever is said does not leave these four walls" I say

They both nod at me, "That's why we called you Mrs Grey, he has been like this ever since he saw that guy" Taylor says

"Tell me what happened" I ask

"Well, we had a meeting at SIP and when we left the SIP building we headed back to the car and Mr Grey glanced up to see a man loitering lighting a cigarette, he just froze and stared at the man, who looked up and he looked shocked at first and then he smiled but not a good smile and he took a long drag on his cigarette and he just walked away". I immediately got Welch to track him using city CCTV and find out who he is, do you have any idea who he could be Mrs Grey?" he asks.

I nod, "Let's sit down" I say, I glance at Christian who is still sitting rocking. I walk over to him and crouch in front of him.

"Christian, can I tell Taylor about that man, can I tell him what you told me so he can help me keep you safe from him?" I ask.

Christian nods at me but doesn't say a word, I stand and hold out my hand to him.

"Come and sit with me Christian" I say gently.

He obeys without a word and walks like a child to the table and sits down beside me clutching my hand tightly.

"When Christian was four years old his birth mother died and he was taken to hospital he was malnourished and dehydrated but he also had many physical injuries he had broken bones, cuts and bruises but he also had a number of cigarette burns on his body. The injuries were caused by his birth mother's pimp who used to feed his mother the drugs she craved. Christian witnessed him abusing his mother physically and sexually, he saw them having sex and he saw him bring other men for her to have sex with. He abused Christian severely, he told me he was kicked across a room many times and beaten with a leather belt by this man and when he discovered Christian's mother dead he took it out on Christian he beat him then he locked Christian in with her and left him with his dead mother's body, I have reason to believe from what Christian said to me that was the man he saw today". I stop at the shocked expressions on the two men in front of me, two men who as ex military men witnessed god knows what throughout their military careers are staring at me in disbelief.

There is a knock at the door and Luke enters with Dr Flynn, he takes one look at Christian and frowns.

"Hello Christian" he says gently

Christian looks up at him without a word. I am getting severely worried now. I turn to Taylor.

"Do you want to go into the conference room?" I say pointing at the door to my left, "I'll join you in a moment" I add.

They all head into the room and shut the door. I quickly outline the events and how I came over and how Christian has shut down and how he has been rocking himself in the foetal position on his sofa and not responding to anyone. As I am talking I see Christian has retreated back to the sofa and is lying down again curled into a ball.

I tell him what he said and what Taylor told me. Dr Flynn nods but looks very worried. I glance around and nod to Christian "That is exactly how I found him when I arrived" I say.

Dr Flynn nods and touches my shoulder kindly.

"Ok leave him with me will you" he says. I nod and go to walk into the conference room and this produces the first real reaction from Christian.

"No, Ana stay, you said you'd never leave me" he cries.

I turn and he grabs me clinging to my arm, pleading with his eyes.

"Christian, listen Dr Flynn wants to talk to you, and Taylor wants to talk to me, I will be just in here, do you want me to leave the door open so you can see me?" I ask as I point to the conference room door.

He nods and lets me go, he watches me go into the conference room and adjusts his position so he can see me clearly.

"Ana?" he calls anxiously

"I'm right here" I call. I turn to Taylor and Welch, "Ok guys tell me everything you know about this man" I say firmly.


	47. Chapter 47

**AUTHORS NOTE: Yes I know this is the third chapter in one day, please don't expect this going forward, I just had all three ready to post after having a bit of time to indulge in just writing last night but for some reason this one wouldn't post this morning so I am doing it now.**

CHAPTER 47

Welch pushes all the information he has gleaned on this man since Taylor asked for him to be tracked. I am impressed with what he has pulled together in such a short space of time, in the space of a few hours he has discovered the man's name, roughly where he is living and where he previously lived and his criminal record. I discover the man's name is Tony Garrett originally from Detroit, he left Detroit and came to Seattle five years ago and he currently appears to lives with a woman and a small boy. I feel dread wash over me at those words. He has a list of convictions of physical abuse, drug dealing and prostituting women as long as my arm.

"Where exactly does he live?" I ask

Taylor looks at Welch and hesitates; he knows why I want to know. "Mrs Grey I really don't think you should..." I hold my hand up and stop him.

"Taylor, did you listen to what I told you about what that man did to my husband when he was a defenceless child, you tell me he is now living with a woman and a small child, do you want another child to grow up and end up as physically and emotionally scarred as him?" I point towards Christian's office.

Taylor shakes his head, "No of course not, no child should be subjected to that"

I stand and pace the room, I am so out of my depth, I need help, I pace around and think carefully, as I do this I hear a wail come from the other room.

"Ana, where are you?" I immediately walk back into the open doorway so Christian can see me.

"I'm right here, I'm talking with Taylor and Welch, I'm not going anywhere" I see him calm as he sees me. I glance at Flynn and he shakes his head, this isn't good, the last thing we need is to have to have Christian sectioned or something. I start to question my decision of leaving him alone with Flynn, I am so out of my depth, I think carefully and pull out my phone, and I call the one person besides me who I know Christian will react to, the woman who he told me saved his life, his mom. Christian appears to have regressed or something, and as such Grace is my only hope of bringing him back. I dial her cell phone"

"Dr Trevelyan" she says quietly, her calm voice immediately soothes me.

"Grace oh thank god, please Grace I need you" I say

"Ana what's wrong darling?" she asks immediately concerned. I quickly outline what has happened and the state Christian is in and she doesn't hesitate. "I'm on my way, thank you for calling me I will be there as soon as I can" she says and hangs up.

I glance at my watch, I can't go back to work so I call Luke in and ask him to go back to Cross Publishing and to get Damien to step in and help me out with the workload, it seems the best thing to do, he is a good editor and as he has just transferred to Seattle he doesn't have a client list as yet. Luke nods and leaves.

I then grab my phone again and call Gideon to inform him of what I have done. I dial his number and wait.

"Ana" he says warmly, that familiar rasping voice coming over the line.

"Gideon we have a problem here" I say, I quickly outline everything that has happened and what I have done, I offer my rationalisation that its not fair on the other editors to pick up my slack and Damien doesn't have a client list as yet so he was the obvious choice. Thankfully Gideon agrees with me and asks how Christian is, I tell him that it's not good and describe how I found him and how Flynn is with him now. I tell him what Welch has found out so far and how he going to continue digging.

"I'll send a team out today to assist him" he says adamantly.

"Thank you, and I'm sorry I have let you down, you gave me a job and I have hardly been in it" I say

"Ana, don't worry about that, of course you have to be with Christian, and you haven't left me in lurch at all you have made sure your work is covered, don't worry about that" he says kindly.

"Thank you, I'll let you get on" I say

"Keep me informed" he says

"I will, are you both still going to come over for the weekend?" I ask

"Yes of course we will come, if we can be any assistance it will be easier if we are there on the ground, try not to worry Ana and if you need anything call me any time" he says.

"Thank you" I reply. I hang up and I hear Grace's voice, from outside the office she is shouting and sounds angry.

"Let me through you silly girl, Mrs Grey has called me so of course I can enter my son's office" I hear her shout. I have never heard Grace raise her voice like this before and it goes some way to show how worried she is.

I head out to find out what the problem is, I see Olivia refusing to let Grace pass and it is only Grace's innate good manners that are preventing her from pushing Olivia out of the way. Andrea is nowhere to be seen.

"Olivia, what the hell are you doing?" I shout

"Andrea said nobody was to be allowed entry, nobody - not even Ros, she said it was your direct order" she says glaring at me defiantly.

I shake my head and roll my eyes, "yes I did say that, and yes it was, but when Dr Trevelyan Grey the mother of the man who pays your wages tells you that, I have called her here, surely that should make you realise I want her to come in?" I say sarcastically at that moment Andrea returns and takes in the situation.

"What's happened Mrs Grey?" she asks nervously

"Olivia took my directive that nobody was to disturb us literally and to the extreme refusing entry to Grace who explained I had called her to come and help me" I say in an irritated tone.

Andrea glares at Olivia, "I do apologise Dr Trevelyan Grey, Mrs Grey" she says to Grace and myself.

Before Andrea can say anything I turn to Olivia, "You are fired" I say to her.

"You don't have the right to fire me, you're not my boss, you don't even work here" Olivia retorts rudely

Andrea spins "No but I am, and you are fired Olivia, you take the definition of incompetence to a whole new level, and you have no right to speak to Mrs Grey like that, did Mr Grey not explain to you that in his absence Mrs Grey was to be treated with the same respect you show him?" she waits and looks questioningly at Olivia and Olivia goes white but doesn't say a word, so Andrea continues "so for that alone you are finished" she says.

Olivia gapes at her, "Can you handle this please Andrea?" I ask her.

"Certainly Mrs Grey and I do apologise for what has happened" she says again.

I turn and accompany Grace into Christians office, I see Christian isn't there, and I hear my name being repeatedly shouted from the next room and I realise what has happened.

"Shit I left the room" I say, "Christian!" I call, he comes in his hair is all over the place where he has been running his hands through it, panic has consumed him.

"You left, you left" he says repeatedly. He grabs me and holds me close clinging to me, I place my hands carefully on his shoulders and I am pleased when he doesn't flinch but he does slightly stiffen.

"I'm here Christian, I went to meet your mom, look Christian your mom is here" I say pointing at Grace.

"What are you doing here mom?" he asks

"Ana called me darling" she says, "She told me you were upset". She walks forward and touches Christians arm.

"I saw him mom, I saw the crack whores pimp, he is here in Seattle after all these years" he says

I glance at Flynn and for the first time he nods his head and smiles a little I sigh with relief that he has got through to him a little bit at least.

"I know darling, Ana told me she was worried about you, I think you scared her with the way you were behaving, so she called me to help her" Grace says kindly.

"I'm so sorry I scared you" he says quietly, he still has me tightly held in his arms.

"That's ok, you didn't scare me I was just worried about you, I had never seen you like that before" I say, I touch his face and he smiles at me.

"It just took me back you know, I saw him and I was that four year old again, waiting to be booted across a room or have cigarettes stubbed out on me and I...I got scared". He stops the fear and panic has gone and it has been replaced by shame and self loathing, he has his head down.

"Christian look at me" I say sharply

I grasp his face and make him look into my face. "You were four years old, the last time you saw that man, you were bound to have a violent reaction to it, it brought back all sorts of horrific memories for you, that is not anything to be ashamed of, I won't have you thinking it is, what you did was react as the four year old you would have reacted because you never really got over the abuse of that time, you just shut it out and now seeing him has opened it all up for you, you were doing so well, you let me touch you everywhere, remember this morning, think of that memory how we touched each other, and how much you enjoyed it, think of that when you feel you are losing control and becoming the frightened four year old again". I glance up at Flynn I have no idea if I am doing the right thing by saying what I am saying.

The huge smile he gives me, give me confidence to continue. "Remember what we were doing this morning, Christian, remember why we were doing it" I say earnestly. His face clouds suddenly as I say that, "What?" I say

He shakes his head, "No tell me" I demand.

"How on earth can I be any kind of father with my issues, I am a grown man and I can't even face someone who I haven't seen since I was a child" he stops and I see the self loathing consume him.

"Christian Trevelyan Grey don't you fucking dare!" I snap, his eyes dart up to meet mine.

"Language" he says sharply

"No Christian, you listen to me, there is no way I am letting you beat yourself up about this, you begged me about wanting to start a family, I threw my pills away I could be on the way to being pregnant right now for all we know, I know that is a long shot and I am probably not but the chance is there, and now you tell me you can't be a father? I won't let you do this to us again" I pull away from him and this seems to jolt him.

"Shit, oh god baby I am so sorry, forgive me" he moans and pulls me back into his arms.

"No I won't forgive you Christian, because there is nothing to forgive, you will not blame yourself for any of this, you are better than that, you are loved and that man can't and won't hurt you again. I was talking to Welch and Taylor he is living in Seattle with a woman and a small child, I have set them on finding out where so another child doesn't get treated like you did". I stop and I see the gleam reappear in his eyes, the life has come back and he has a mission.

"I won't let another child go through what I did" he says firmly

"There he is! That's the Christian I know" I say and kiss him, "Gideon is sending a team from New York to help Welch" I say.

"You spoke to Gideon?" Christian asks

I nod, "I had to, I had to leave work and delegate my work to Damien, so I called Gideon to tell him what I had done and why, he was really supportive, he said if we needed anything to call him any time and he and Eva are still coming at the weekend" I look at him knowingly, I am hoping that I can distract him with the arrangements of the proposal, "Oh and by the way I fired Olivia" I say sheepishly.

Grace bursts out laughing at this, she steps closer to Christian, "You chose well Christian; you have met your match with this young lady".

Christian grins, "I know" he says, he turns to Grace.

"I'm sorry if I worried you mom" he says

"Not at all, Ana called me for moral support, she was really worried about you, I'll head off if I am not needed here any longer" Grace steps towards Christian and opens her arms and waits.

After a moments hesitation Christian turns and walks into them. "Thanks mom" he says quietly.

Grace kisses his cheek and then comes to me and hugs me tightly, "I'm sorry to have dragged you over here for nothing" I say to her.

"Don't you dare, you did exactly the right thing" she says and with that she leaves. We turn to face John Flynn who is watching carefully.

"Ana have you ever considered a career in the Mental Health field?" he says.

I laugh, "No John I'll leave that to you!" I say.

"Christian I suggest you take the rest of the day off" John says seriously.

To my surprise Christian doesn't argue and just nods. I turn to him.

"Call Taylor and tell him you are ready to go home, I'll be back in a moment, I'll go and speak to Ros to step in" I say firmly.

I head out and speak to Andrea, "Mr Grey is not feeling well and is taking the rest of the day off can you redirect all his calls to Ros I'm just going to head down there now and fill her in" I say

"Yes certainly Mrs Grey, is everything alright, i have never seen Mr Grey look so ill when he came back from SIP this morning, So I wasn't surprised when you arrived, please give him my regards and I hope he gets well soon" she says.

"Thank you Andrea" I say

I quickly run down to Ros's office and knock, as I open the door she beams at me, "Ana!" she exclaims. "How is he?" she asks

I shake my head, "I'm taking him home, and will you hold the fort for the rest of the day?" I ask

"Consider it done" she says immediately. "What happened? As soon as he saw that man outside SIP he seemed to crumble before my very eyes, I have never seen anything like it, he never said a word all the way back and he just took himself off to his office and slammed the door".

"Ros, I can't discuss it with you, not without Christian's permission it's his story to tell if he wants to" I say and Ros nods.

"I understand" she says immediately, "Don't worry I'll handle everything here" she adds.


	48. Chapter 48

CHAPTER 48

When we return to Escala Christian is still very quiet, and he is following me around like a lost puppy, he won't let me out of his sight. He appears to be back to normal now though, and I am glad i never want to see that Christian Grey again, it was scary and I just didn't know what to do for the best. I can tell he is not really enjoying being at home doing nothing, so I suggest to him to go to his office and work on something, to take his mind off everything, he nods in agreement and walks way. I watch him go and let out a long breath, I am still worried about him, a few minutes later Taylor appears and looks around.

"Where is he?" he asks quietly

"In his study, I suggested he go and do some work" I reply, Taylor nods and walks towards me.

"We have discovered something regarding your request with your mother" he says.

I look surprised; I thought that had been forgotten after the events that unfolded this morning. I hadn't expected Welch to bother about my little request when he had been busy tracking the guy that had caused Christian's meltdown.

"Oh?" I say it's all I can manage.

"You look surprised Mrs Grey?" Taylor says with a grin.

"I am, I thought after everything else that happened this morning that would be the last thing on your mind" I say

"You asked us to help find your mother and we did it" he says with a shrug.

"And?" I ask

"She never boarded the flight to Georgia, she checked in at Sea Tac and it appears she was going back to Georgia and heading to the departure lounge when she ran into someone, they went for a coffee and then she left the airport with him".

"Who did she leave with, do you have any idea?" I ask

"Yes ma'am I do and so do you, it was Jose Rodriquez; it would appear she has gone to Portland with him".

"What on earth would she want with Jose?" I ask in confusion

"Erm..." Taylor begins, he glances around and gestures to the sofa he comes and sits beside me. "After your father's accident when Miss Trammell pointed out that Jose had "a thing" about you, Mr Grey insisted that we put a track on him to keep a discreet eye on him". I roll my eyes and shake my head.

"Jose is just a friend, Jason" I insist.

"Mrs Grey, ..." Taylor pauses and glances behind him again whatever he is about to tell me I'm obviously not supposed to know. "We have strong reason to believe that Mr Rodriguez has been stalking you. We have received items through the mail addressed to you, which we have examined, and then disposed of, which have been traced back to him. We have seen him in the vicinity many times when you have been attending functions where it is publicly known you were attending, he has been seen taking covert photographs of you and he was seen in a car following you and Luke to Cross Publishing on a few occasions. Mr Grey is concerned he is planning something, but we believe he is just infatuated with you. Our concern is that those beliefs he has may escalate should he speak with your mother and hear her views for example that Mr Grey is keeping you from your family and controlling you and he may feel it is duty to rescue you or something worse". Taylor stops and stares at me.

I rub my face, I can't believe what I am hearing, "What sort of things did he send me?" I ask

"There were numerous items, mainly underwear, there were several pairs of plain white cotton panties sent on various occasions always along with a pair of identical pink ones, there was a photograph of you when you were I assume at college Miss Kavanagh was also in the photograph, and you both appeared to be in a bar, you were both laughing and looked happy, it was paired with a covert photograph of you with Mr Grey talking, it appeared to be when Mr Grey was attempting to win you back when you weren't together, and you appeared to be upset. Then there was a box which contained nothing but Hershey candy bars, but the most disturbing one was one where he sent a series of photographs of you which were taken when you were living at the apartment with Miss Kavanagh and you were in your bedroom undressing your curtains were closed but there was a small gap and he was obviously close enough to be able to snap you through that gap ." Taylor looks at me I know straight away the significance of all these items, apart from the photos of me undressing; those are just creepy and freak me out a little.

"Well I have no idea about the photos of me undressing and quite frankly that has made me feel uncomfortable. The panties are an in joke, Kate did the washing once when we are at college and she put in all my panties and whites in a wash but she missed a red sock and everything came out pink, and we teased her about it. The Hershey bars were my favourite snack at college Jose said that I used to live on them, I didn't of course but whenever he saw me I always seemed to have one. As for the photo I am guessing he was showing me how happy I was when I was a student and comparing that with how he perceived me to be with Christian, but what was the point of it?" I ask

Taylor shakes his head, "I'm not sure, possibly to try and make you see what your life was like before, a nostalgia trip to try and persuade you to leave the life you now have".

"I would never leave Christian, I love him" I say firmly

Taylor smiles, "I know, that is blatantly obvious as is the way he feels about you, I am just concerned this could escalate now which is why I wanted to tell you. I am obliged to share this with Mr Grey but I wanted to give you a heads up as Mr Grey would probably insist you were not told, but my gut feeling on this is you need to know so you can be prepared should anything happen". He says.

"Thank you Jason" I say and touch his arm.

He looks embarrassed and stands, "No problem ma'am" he says.

"Jason, can I ask you something?" I ask he pauses and looks at me questioningly.

"Did I do the right thing today?" I ask

He sits down again, "What do you mean?" he asks

"I felt so out of my depth, I had no idea what to do, Christian didn't respond to me as he normally does and it threw me, he was so shut down I didn't know what to do, I thought the best thing to do was call Dr Flynn as he knows how to handle that sort of thing, but did I let him down by not being with him and leaving him with Flynn?"

Jason smiles at me, "Ana, I had no fucking idea what to do this morning either, I had never seen him like that before, which is why I called you, I know when you are around he is calm and amenable and I thought you could bring him back, you did what you thought was right, you called in the professionals you didn't fail him".

"But I left him alone with Flynn, when he practically begged me to stay with him" I insist

"Ana, Flynn asked you specifically to leave him alone with him, so he could help him - you followed the advice of the professional , you couldn't have done any more, you called in Flynn and you called in Dr Trevelyan Grey, and you did what you thought was right at the time, don't beat yourself up about it, as far as I can see you handled things beautifully, you dealt with Mr Grey, you dealt with your own work making sure you were covered at Cross Publishing, you dealt with the issue's that caused Mr Grey's meltdown and " he pauses and grins, "you dealt with that idiot Olivia". He stands to leave, "You dealt with everything that was thrown at you nobody could ask for anything more of you" he says and leaves me alone to think.

I go to find Christian as I head to his office I hear music playing I stop and listen trying to identify what he is listening to, he is playing a song on repeat and I listen to the words.

_Little supernovas in my head  
Little soft pulses in my dead  
Little souvenirs and secrets shared  
Little off guard and unprepared  
_

_I was never good enough to find  
I was never bad enough to mind  
In the middle I will do my best  
Take me in your arms and leave the rest  
_

_I will give you anything to  
_

_Say you want to stay, you want me too  
Say you'll never die, you'll always haunt me  
I want to know I belong to you  
Say you'll haunt me  
_

_Together, together we'll be together, together forever  
_

_Little variations on my page  
Little doors open on my cage  
Little time has come and gone so far  
Little by little who you are  
_

_I can see the patterns on your face  
I can see the miracles I trace  
Symmetry in shadows I can't hide  
I JUST WANT TO BE RIGHT BY YOUR SIDE  
_

_I will give you everything to  
_

_Say you want to stay you want me too  
Say you'll never die, you'll always haunt me  
I want to know I belong to you  
Say you'll haunt me  
_

_Together, together we'll be together, together forever  
I BELONG TO YOU  
_

_Little supernovas in my head  
Little soft pulses in my dead  
Little souvenirs and secrets shared  
Little off guard and unprepared  
_

_I will give you anything to  
I will give you everything to  
_

_Say you want to stay you want me too  
Say you'll never die you'll always haunt me  
I want to know I belong to you  
Say you'll haunt me  
_

_Together, together we'll be together, together forever  
I BELONG TO YOU_

I feel tears prickling at my eyelids. I open the door and see him lying flat across his sofa, his arm slung over his eyes, and the other one resting on his chest. As he hears me he lifts his arm and looks up at me.

"What song is that? I've never heard that before" I ask

"No, I heard it the other day and it made me think of how I feel about you, I downloaded it and today it feels appropriate, after my meltdown, I'm scared, I thought you have seen me at my worst, but today was another level, I have no idea what happened to me today and I'm scared that now you have seen it you will think I am too broken, too much of a liability, that you will want to go, leave me and have the chance of a good life with someone normal who deserves you and can give you the life you deserve not one where you are hounded by the press and tailed by security, I've done that to you I've..."

"Christian stop!" I say

I walk over and kneel down in front of the sofa, he turns on to his side and props himself up onto his elbow and stares at me, and then he reaches for my face with his hand and caresses it. I grasp his hand tightly.

"I won't leave you, Christian, I love you too much, you need to stop this now, we love each other and we need to stand strong because something is brewing and we need to be rock solid, I need you to be strong Christian, I need you to be by my side so whatever happens we face it together, I want you to stop descending into self loathing every time something happens, how can you think such things I love you more than life itself Christian, I want to have a baby with you, like I said earlier I could be pregnant now, I want to share my life with you, but to do that I need you to be there for me not doubting whether or not you are good enough for me, or if something happens that you are going to lose me, because I tell you right now, I aint going anywhere, there is only two things that will make me pack my bags and go and that is if you cheat on me or if you hit me in anger".

Christian is sitting bolt upright now, "Never" he whispers, "I could never cheat on you, you are my life, and as for hit you I couldn't hurt you intentionally I don't have it in me to" he says and reaches forward to pull me closer.

As he takes me into his arms he lifts me and pulls me on to his lap. "Talk to me Ana you said something is brewing"

I sigh and tell him about Jose meeting my mother at the airport and her leaving with him, and Taylor's fears about what could happen.

"He told you about the mail and the surveillance footage?" Christian asks stiffly

I pull away and look at him, "yes he did and I am really pissed with you for keeping it from me, if I am to be safe, I need to know the extent of the threats against me, Jose as far as I was concerned was a dear friend, but Taylor has made me see it could be more sinister than that, you can't keep these things from me, and before you fire him Taylor is going to tell you about Jose being with my mother, but with everything else that has gone on today, he felt it best to speak to me first considering it was me who asked him to find the whereabouts of my mom" I stop and stare him down.

"Good point well made as usual Mrs Grey, why did you ask Taylor to find out where your mother was?" he asks

I sigh, "I got a call from Bob, she had called him and asked to go home to Georgia, he said yes, but she never arrived and he was worried, so he called me, and I called Taylor to see if he could find out anything and she was seen at the airport, she had obviously checked in as there was a record of her on the flight to Atlanta but she never took the flight, she met up with Jose and left the airport with him".

"I see" Christian says thoughtfully.

"So if they are cooking something up together, if Jose is infatuated with me as Taylor believes and he gets an earful of mom's warped opinion of you, who knows what will happen" I say.

Christian pulls me to him even tighter "I'll protect you baby" he says quietly.

"I know you will" I say, "so what the hell was that song?" I ask

Christian laughs, "Haunt Me by Stone Sour" he says, "So will you?" he adds

"Will I what?" I ask

"Haunt me?" he says

I laugh, "Only if you do something stupid" I say with a grin.

Christian snorts, "Well I'll take that as a yes then, because I do something stupid regularly" he says wryly

"Aah but there is stupid and there is stupid, and you always do things for the right reasons, and for that I love you" I say and I plant a swift kiss on his lips. He immediately deepens the kiss and before I know it I am beneath him on the sofa wondering how the hell it happened!

**Song featured****: Stone Sour: Haunt Me**


	49. Chapter 49

CHAPTER 49

When we eventually emerge from Christian's office and after we have showered and cleaned ourselves up I realise I have to call Bob and tell him my mother never actually caught the flight to Georgia.

Christian comes with me and sits beside me as I call him.

"Hello" Bob says as he answers the call.

"Hi Bob it's Ana" I say, I mentally prepare how I am going to break the news to him. I decide to dive straight in. "Bob, I had Christian's security team look into where mom disappeared to, it would seem she never boarded the flight in Seattle, security footage at the airport shows her checking in and on the way to the departure lounge she met up with someone and then left the airport with him". I stop and wait.

"I see", is the stunned response.

"I'm really sorry Bob" I say

"It's not your fault Ana, thank your husbands team for checking things out for me please" he pauses and sighs, "I guess this is goodbye then, I won't be taken for a ride, I will start divorce proceedings which means I probably won't see you again, I was proud to be your step dad, you are a good girl Ana and I wish you well whatever happens in your life", he says sincerely.

I swallow hard, "Thank you Bob, and I'm really sorry she treated you so badly, but don't take it personally, she treats everyone including me like that" I say bitterly.

"I know, I berated her for not attending your graduation, I'd hurt my ankle but that shouldn't have stopped her going, if she really wanted to go she would have gone and I was furious she had used me as an excuse not to" he says.

"I know, but the sad thing is I would have been more shocked if she had turned up, I expected her to cry off at the last moment, its what she has always done" I say, "Listen Bob if you need anything any time don't hesitate to call me ok?" I say

"Thank you Ana, I'll remember that" he says, "I'll let you get on now, you take care of yourself goodbye Ana" he says

"Bye Bob" I say and hang up.

Christian looks carefully at me, "Are you ok?" he asks

I nod, "Yes I am, I feel sorry for Bob he is a good man, and didn't deserve how she treated him, he is starting divorce proceedings" I say.

Christian nods and wraps his arm around my shoulder. We are disturbed by my phone ringing; I glance at it and smile and quickly answer.

"Hi daddy!" I say brightly

"Annie are you alright?" I hear Ray's voice filled with concern and worry.

"Yes, I'm fine why wouldn't I be?" I ask in confusion. I quickly put the call on speaker so Christian can hear.

"I got a call from Jose, he is worried about you, he said he had tried to contact you several times and had received no response from you he said he had spoken to Christian who refused to let you speak to him and he said that he was worried you were being controlled by Christian and he was trying to separate you from your friends and family"

I sigh, "I can assure you Jose hasn't tried to call me at all. Daddy its a long story, but I think it would be best if we come and see you as you can't come and see us and we will explain everything to you, Jose has had a thing about me for a while, he tried to kiss me when we were at a bar once and I said no and he wouldn't listen, if it hadn't of been for Christian stepping in, I'm not sure what would have happened, Taylor has a tail on him as he believes some of the things he has been doing smack of a stalker, and that he is infatuated with me, and there are other things which I really don't want to go into over the phone" I say.

"I see, well this changes everything considerably" Ray says, "Actually instead of you coming to me could you or Christian send someone to bring me to you, I'm going stir crazy in this place?"

I turn to Christian who is already texting someone and moments later Ryan appears. I hear Christian tell Ryan to go to the rehab at the hospital and pick up my father.

"Dad, Christian is sending a car for you now, Ryan with be with you shortly ok?" I say

"Ok, thank you" he replies. We end the call and I rest my head on Christian's shoulder.

A short while later my father is being helped into the apartment, he is making excellent progress and is walking with a stick now, although he is still in considerable pain. He sees me and opens his arms and I walk into them.

"Hi daddy" I say as I help him to a seat, Christian walks over and grasps Ray's hand before helping him steady himself as he sits down, Christian takes my fathers walking stick and places it out of the way.

"Thank you son" my father says then he looks at me, "Right then tell me everything" he says

I nod and go and fetch Taylor in and he appears with a file with photographs of stills of the security cameras taken from the airport. Gail also appears with some drinks and snacks for us.

I take a deep breath and start my story. I tell how my mother had called and how she had behaved when we were out last Sunday and Taylor fills in the details from his perspective. I go on to tell how she said she was returning to Georgia but Bob called to say she had never arrived and how I had phoned Taylor to see if he could establish what had happened to my mother and how he had discovered she had been seen leaving the airport with none other than Jose, Taylor then goes into detail about the packages Jose had sent me and how it is protocol that all packages are screened for threats and how he had been seen always around when I had been out anywhere, and he had been seen following my car to Cross Publishing. Taylor shares his concerns that how he believes Jose has an obsession with me and now that my mother is with him feeding him untrue details of what she perceives to be Christian keeping me from my family that things could escalate, and how Jose seems to have started doing just that by involving Ray.

Ray sits with his mouth open, and when everyone has finished speaking he just shakes his head.

"I swear daddy, Christian hasn't done anything wrong, yes he protects me and he worries about my safety and yes he has a security team to help but he hasn't tried to separate me from my family and friends, I still see Kate, and my mother has separated herself with her behaviour, but I am always seeing and talking to you, and would Christian have sent a car for you if he was trying to separate me from you?" I am getting angrier the more I think about things and defensive of my husband.

Christian notices this, smiles at me and squeezes my leg, "Ray I promise you I have done nothing but be supportive of Ana's relationship with her family and friends" he says firmly.

Ray nods, "I believe you son" he says, "but it would appear we have a problem on our hands here", he pauses almost as though he is working something out, then he looks at Christian and speaks "Jose does have a history of obsessive behaviour, his father confided in me about previous girls he had taken a liking to and obsessed over until he was threatened with and sometimes he got as far as being slapped with restraining orders. He was worried about you Ana, when he met you as he didn't want that to happen to you, but as he knew I was an old buddy of his father and the fact you never gave him any indication that he was any more than a friend to you, whereas these other girls had been ex girlfriends, I figured you would be ok, but it would appear not, now if he has Carla whispering in his ear feeding that obsession things could get nasty".

"Mr Steele, can you get any information on previous girlfriends Jose had for example dates and names?" Taylor says.

Ray nods, "Jason how many times do I have to tell you call me Ray" he says as he thumbs through his contact list and calls a number. "I'll call Jose Snr and see if he'll tell me" he adds.

"Jose, how are you man? ...good good...listen...remember what you told me about Jose, I know you confided in me but he has been stalking my Annie and obviously her husband isn't too thrilled about it and neither am I for that matter...no...well I know that and you know that, and Annie never gave him any indication that he was anything other than a friend, so anyway, can you remember the other girls he stalked, the reason I ask is Carla is with him for some unknown reason and if she is whispering in his ear things could get nasty, as she doesn't really get on with Ana's husband...yeah...long story...yeah...that's fine I'll wait" Ray puts his hand over the phone and speak to us. "He is going to get his diaries" he says. A few moments later Ray nods and Taylor picks up a pen and notepad. "Ok then restraining orders placed on Jose 2 years ago, Tanya Harlow, Julie Bennett, Brandi Marriott, Melissa Torrence and Helen Burbage, 3 years ago restraining orders placed on Jose, , Marie Jarvis, Leila Williams and finally Deanna Johnson. Thank you Jose you have been very helpful". Ray looks up and I am shocked.

I see Christian look up sharply and look at Taylor when the last but one name is mentioned, and Taylor also reacts to it as well looking directly at Christian. Unfortunately Ray sees it too.

"What was with the last but one girl on the list?" he says staring directly at Christian.

Christian glances at me and then looks down, I see the familiar shame cross his face, "Leila was ...she was" he stammers I jump in to help him as I have guessed she was one of his subs.

"Christian was she one of your ex's?" I ask gently

He looks at me and nods, and looks at Ray carefully.

Ray smiles kindly "Well that's nothing to worry about son, everyone has a past, I don't think Annie will hold it against you for having a girlfriend who knew Jose and I'm not going to berate you for it" I smile and grip Christian's hand. She was obviously one of his subs and he doesn't want Ray to know about that part of his life.

"I didn't really have girlfriends before Ana, they were...just... sexual partners" he says.

Ray smiles again, "Hey Christian, all young men are allowed to sow some wild oats!"

We are sitting chatting and relaxing when Taylor walks in and coughs discreetly, Christian turns towards him.

"Sir you have some visitors" he says trying to suppress a grin.

"Who is it?" Christian asks standing up.

"Us!" comes the reply as Eva and Gideon come striding in. I am up on my feet and hugging Eva and I turn to Gideon who is embracing Christian and speaking quietly with him. He sees me and hugs me tightly.

"Hi" he says with a grin.

He walks towards Ray and greets him warmly and sits down beside him. Ray struggles to get up and Gideon immediately stands to help him and before I can react Christian is at his other side.

"I'll get going then now, thanks for putting me straight" Ray says

"You don't have to leave on our account" Gideon says

Ray shakes his head, "No I'm getting tired I want to turn in" he says with a grin.

"Then stay" Christian says immediately, "Take a spare room and we'll get you back to the rehab tomorrow morning" he says.

"Are you sure son?" Ray asks clearly tempted by the offer.

"I wouldn't offer if I didn't mean it" Christian says firmly, reaching for Ray's stick he helps him climb the stairs to the guest room. I watch them go, I smile as I watch Christian caring for my father, helping him, but all the while letting my father keep his dignity. A few moments later Christian returns and heads to our bedroom and then comes out with a pair of pyjamas and takes them up to Ray.

Eventually he comes down and sits beside me, "he is in bed now" he says.

"Thank you" I say," my dad would have been mortified if I had offered to help him".

"So what brings you here two days early?" Christian asks looking at Gideon.

"After Ana phoned me this morning we dropped everything and flew out to see if we could be any help my team have arrived and made themselves known to Welch and offered their services to him... how are you now?" Gideon looks at Christian closely as he asks this.

"Better than this morning, I had the mother of all meltdowns and made quite the show of myself" Christian replies.

"It's been quite a day" I say, Christian wraps his arm around me and hugs me tightly.

"You can say that again baby" he says, he looks at Gideon's questioning look and proceeds to tell him about the reason why Ray is here and Jose and Carla. Gideon shakes his head and Eva looks stunned.

"I knew it, I said he had the hots for you Ana, but stalking that's not cool" Eva says.

"Tell me about it, Ray called Jose Senior and got a list of girls he has stalked before , I think Taylor is going to try and track them down and approach them to see what happened" I say

"May I have a copy of the list and perhaps my team can help track them down" Gideon asks.

Christian calls Taylor and asks for the list of girls Jose stalked, Taylor pulls out his notebook and hands it to Christian, who gives it Gideon to read.

"Fuck" Gideon exclaims, we all turn and look at him.

"What is it baby?" Eva asks him

"Deanna Johnson" Gideon replies

Eva's mouth drops open, "you are fucking kidding me" she says.

"What?" Christian and I say together.

Eva turns and looks at us, "Deanna Johnson is the name of a reporter who has been stalking Gideon, she slept with him in the past and can't handle casual sex and she has been trying repeatedly to get dirt on him, and hounding me in the process I wonder if it is the same person?" she says

Gideon quickly notes down the names and text's them to Raul with a short message. "Well considering all the other links we have it wouldn't surprise me" he says without looking up from his phone.


	50. Chapter 50

CHAPTER 50

As Christian, Eva and Gideon sit and talk I am thinking, I go through the events of today, my mind is racing and I feel the need to do something, I stand up and walk away and into our bedroom and start pacing thinking and working things out. I can see only one way out as far as Jose and my mother is concerned, and its something Christian isn't going to like. I head back out and walk into him in the corridor.

"Are you ok baby? I was just looking for you" Christian says giving me a concerned look. I nod confidently and pull him back into the great room where Eva and Gideon are still sitting.

"Sit down" I say pointing to the seat; Christian sits down his eyebrows raised as I walk past him and out into the security office. Luke and Taylor are there and they both stand when I enter.

"Hi guys can you come out a moment I have had an idea I want to run by everyone and I need your opinion" I say. They both nod and follow me out to the great room, they take a seat on the sofa as I pace around getting my thoughts in some sort of order.

"Right, ok, I have an idea and I want to run it past everyone. My mother thinks Christian is trying to control me and keep me from my family, and now it appears she has enlisted Jose, now Jose was my friend or so I thought, until Jason told me about the weird stuff he has been sending me and the fact he has been stalking me – turning up to places I go and he has been seen talking photos of me. He also has been telling my father lies saying he has tried to contact me and not able to, now I need to know - has he tried to contact me and been barred from doing so?" I stop and stare around the room. Both Jason and Luke shake their heads, but Christian looks down at the ground.

"Christian what did you do?" I ask

His head sweeps up and his grey eyes meet mine, "he called once to talk to you and I told him you were unavailable, it was the night you went out with Eva when we returned home from honeymoon, and I was here with Gideon, he asked me to tell you he had called but then with everything that went down that night I forgot, I'm sorry baby, I don't like the guy but I didn't not tell you on purpose I just forgot" I nod.

"Ok, well I am going to visit him" I hold my hand up to silence Christian who opens his mouth to protest. "Let me finish, I am going to go and visit him, I am not supposed to know my mother is with him, so I will have the element of surprise I want to confront him about the stuff he sent me and about what he said to my father, I want to put him straight and to tell him to stay out of my life, and if I get the chance to tell my mother as well then all well and good" I look around the room and wait for the reaction, I don't have to wait long.

"Baby I don't like this" Christian says standing and walking towards me, "What if he does something?" he adds

I look up at Christian, "What can he do? I will hold all the cards as he isn't expecting me, and I'm not about to go in there unprepared, I was thinking of going with Kate as she has known Jose as long as I have and obviously I will take Luke with me but he won't come in".

I see the conflict going on inside Christian and he looks at Jason, "What do you think Taylor?" he asks

"Personally I think its a damn good idea, they are not high risk perps just damned annoying and they take our attention and resources from other security risks which could prove to be a higher priority, if Mrs Grey can close it down its one less security issue to worry about, and personally I really don't think either of them have it in them to harm her". He says he looks at me and gives me a rare full smile.

Christian paces around his hands going to his hair, "Luke will go with you?" he asks me, I nod.

"Of course" I say

He stops pacing and stares at me, with a huge sigh he finally speaks "Ok, but please be careful" he says, I fling my arms around him and kiss him repeatedly.

"Thank you" I whisper in his ear.

"I still don't like it, don't make me regret my decision" he replies.

I immediately call Kate and tell her everything that Jose has done and how my mother is now possibly staying with him. She agrees immediately to come with me and suggests the next day as she is off work for the rest of this week. I agree as I want to strike while I know there is a chance my mother is there as well.

When I finish my call to Kate I head back into the great room. "Sorted" I say with a grin, "Kate is up for it, which I knew she would be, the thing is she wants to go tomorrow" I glance at Gideon, "which mean s I need to take the day off" .

Gideon laughs "Ana after your call today I didn't expect you to be back in the rest of the week, before I left New York I called Seattle and gave Damien instructions to cover until Monday" .

"Thank you" I say, I look at Eva, "I'm sorry I didn't ask you to come with me, but he knows Kate and it seems more natural to take her with me" I say.

Eva shakes her head, "You don't have to explain, it is obvious you would take Kate with you, if you were going to take anyone, plus if I went when i am supposed to be living in New York it would look odd, besides I am going to be busy checking out our new Seattle apartment!"

"Oh yes, I forgot about that, is it done is it ready?" I ask

Eva nods, "It's gorgeous, and I'm sorry Christian but its loads nicer than Escala" she says with a giggle.

Christian laughs "Well I can't wait to come and see it, if it is so much nicer than Escala I may have to buy it from Gideon, I can't have my best friend having a better place than me!"

"Why not come round tomorrow and we can hear all about Ana's visit to Portland?" Gideon says

"Perfect!" Christian replies, "Actually, I will fly you down to Portland in Charlie Tango, Taylor can come with me and I can visit WSU while I am there see how they are getting on with the grant I gave them".

I smile, I know Christian would want to be involved somehow and would want to be in the area, not stuck back here in Seattle worrying.

The next day its all systems go, before Ryan takes my dad back to the rehab centre at the hospital, I go through with him what I am going to do.

"Annie, I wish I could come with you, there are a few choice words I would like to say to young Jose myself for lying to me and for making such a nuisance of himself, and if Carla is there too that would be the icing on the cake as I would love to give her a piece of my mind for the way she has treated you over the years". Ray hugs me tightly and wishes me luck. Christian helps walk Ray to the elevator and I see them talking together, and I see Christian nodding sincerely, I wonder what is going on so when Christian returns and pulls me into his arms I ask him.

"What was all that about with my dad?" I ask

"He was warning me that if ever he heard anything about the way I treat you that turned out to be true no amount of security would stop him" Christian says soberly

I roll my eyes and laugh, but Christian shakes his head at me. "No baby, its no more than I would expect, and no more than I would deserve if I ever treated you badly". He holds me close and buries his nose into my hair; we are disturbed by Taylor who tells us that Kate and Elliot have arrived.

Kate comes marching in looking like she is going into battle, I grin at her fierce look.

"Hey Steele I am so looking forward to this, after you have had your say can I tell your mom what I think of her?" she asks eagerly.

I laugh, "We'll see, I don't want to end up in a point scoring situation I just want to firmly put them in their places, and stop their games" I say firmly.

Kate nods, "my lips are sealed until you say I can let rip" she says

I see Elliot with a load of papers under his arm, he dumps them on the coffee table, "There you go bro all the plans for the work you want on the house, its all pretty straight forward and if I can get the whole crew on it at the beginning of October I don't see why you can't be in by Christmas".

"Thanks I'll go through them later, are you off to the site now?" Christian asks

Elliot nods, "I am, I have a small crew there now doing the preliminary work and the essential work". With that he turns and giving Kate a hug and a kiss he is gone.

"Ok are we ready" Christian asks I grab my jacket and we head out.

The journey is pretty straight forward, I take my usual seat in the front of Charlie Tango with Christian and Jason is in the back with Kate Luke has already left, long gone first thing going to Portland by car so he is there waiting for us when we land.

When we arrive I feel the adrenaline start to flow, my anger is bubbling below the surface and i am trying to control it, but I am feeling like a coiled spring. Christian hugs me tightly and kisses me repeatedly before he finally lets me go,

"Don't say or do anything you will regret" he says as he releases me. I can see the worry in his eyes as he turns to leave with Taylor.

I nod but don't say a word.

"Ok let's do this" I say as I climb into the SUV.

As we pull up at Jose's place I see my mother going inside, Kate nudges me as she sees her.

"Well looks like we will get two for one then!" I say.

We leave the car, Luke climbs out and hands me a small cell phone, Kate is going to record what is said on a small recorder and if anything goes down where I feel unsafe I am to press the speed dial and Luke will come to my aid. I feel this is all a little overkill, but it made Christian feel better about it so I am happy to go along with it.

"Ready?" I ask Kate, and she nods at me, I quickly slip the phone into my jeans pocket and we walk towards the door, Kate knocks as I stand out of the way.

The door slowly opens and I hear Jose exclaim when he sees Kate. "Katie! Its so good to see you come in are you alone?" he asks.

At these words I step into his line of sight, "No Jose, she's not", I am happy at the look of confusion and then panic on his face and before he can react I step over the threshold "Well are you going to invite me in Jose?" I ask.


	51. Chapter 51

CHAPTER 51

We step inside and move into the sitting room, Jose follows us in and as I stand there my mother comes in unaware that I am here, talking happily to Jose, she stops dead when she sees me and goes deathly white, I turn and see the uncomfortable look on Jose's face and the reality hits me, oh my god she isn't just staying with Jose, she is with Jose.

I turn to Jose, "Well Jose, you wanted to speak to me, you didn't have to tell my father lies to get my attention, so what do you want?" I ask

"Ana, I was worried about you", Jose whines "I heard that you had eloped and married Grey I tried to contact you and he told me I couldn't speak to you, he is trying to keep your family and friends from you he isn't right for you" I go cold at those words, I remember when Elena said the same thing about me saying I wasn't right for Christian.

I hold up my hand to silence him, "Jose, one - its none of your god damned business who I am seeing or who I decide to spend my life with, you lost the right to have any say in my life when you started stalking me and sending creepy parcels to me, two - yes I did marry Christian, because I love him and we are happy, if you don't like that then tough, get over it, three - yes I know you rang wanting to speak to me and you got Christian, you couldn't speak to me that particular night as I was on a girls night out with Kate and my other friend Eva, Christian told me you had called but to be perfectly honest with you I didn't want to speak to you after the disgusting things you sent me, why did you take photographs of me undressing in my room when I lived with Kate? What made you think I would want cotton panties through the mail?" I lean closer to him and whisper in his ear "My husband buys me silk they are much nicer" I pull away and stop and stare at Jose, he is speechless, as is my mother she is staring at him with a horrified expression on her face. I nod towards my mother, "She's a bit old for you isn't she, what's the matter, couldn't get the girl so you go for the mother?" I spit at him. I see by the look on his face I have hit the nail on the head, unfortunately so does my mother.

I turn to Carla and shake my head, "Jose has a track record of obsessing about girls he has a list of restraining orders against him from girls he has stalked, you do have a knack of picking them don't you Carla?! The decent men you leave high and dry though, Ray and Bob didn't deserve the way you treated them, oh and by the way Bob is filing for divorce, he didn't take too kindly to waiting at the airport for you and you not turning up. Right then, I am going to say this once and I am not going to say it again, so I suggest you listen and you listen good, I love my husband, Christian loves me, he does not control me, he does not separate me from my family and friends, what he does do however, is protect me from people who want to hurt me, Jose you have stalked me, and sent disgusting things in the mail to me, told lies about me and Christian to my father all these things hurt me, and that upset my husband and so he protected me from you, Carla, you have hurt me my entire life, you always picked yourself first you don't have a maternal bone in your body, I always thought it was me, that I did something wrong, but Carla you are the one to blame, you make the choices in life which have repercussions, and the fact that I don't need your scraps any more and I am happy burns you with jealousy, you liked how you just kept me on a string giving it a little yank every now and again to make me feel guilty or to throw me a scrap of attention, well no more Carla, I have the most wonderful husband in the world, I have the most wonderful father in the world, I have the most wonderful mother in law in the world who has shown me how a mother is supposed to behave, I now have an extended family a father in law, and a brother and sister in law, and I have my real friends, I have Kate who has stood by my side since college and I have Gideon and Eva, who when I called them yesterday needing help dropped everything and flew to Seattle from New York, so I have no room in my life for people who don't really care about me, who don't really give a damn, now I am going to leave, I wish you both happiness with whatever you choose to do with your lives but please do not contact me again, because I don't need you and I don't want you in my life, unless you truly want to be there, and I really don't think you do. One more thing, I have not been brainwashed, or lied to or controlled by Christian, I worked all this out by myself, in fact Christian wants me to have a relationship with you both and he told me not to say or do anything I would regret, but I don't regret cutting either of you out of my life, because neither of you deserve to be there". I turn and go to leave.

"NO" Jose roars and rushes towards me, and goes to grab me, my mother screams, Kate yells and I just react, I grab his arm and twist it in a direction its really not supposed to go I hear a crack and he howls in pain, I yank my hand free and press speed dial one, moments later Luke enters his gun drawn. He pushes it away when he sees Jose howling in pain on the floor and he smirks.

"I think I broke his arm" I say sheepishly

"I'm sure he deserved it Mrs Grey" he says, he pulls up Jose and checks his arm out, "Not broken, its dislocated, Luke looks at it and then holding it he yanks it, Jose howls in pain again but his arm is now looking better.

My mother is still standing like a statue opening and closing her mouth like a goldfish.

I stand, "Right Kate, Luke and I are going now, if either of you dare do anything or say anything again I won't be so reasonable next time" with that I turn to leave.

"Ana please, I love you" my mother calls pitifully

I stop and turn and give her a small shake of my head, "No you don't" I whisper and without another word I leave. Kate wraps her arm around me when we get outside.

"Too much?" I ask her

Kate shakes her head, "No you were magnificent!"

I quickly send a text to Christian.

_**All done, all good, love you xx**_

His response is instant;

_**Good I love you baby xx**_

When we get back to Seattle Kate plays the recording of what was said, Taylor and Christian listen carefully and I see them both smile.

Christian looks afraid and then angry when he hears the kafuffle when Jose launched at me, "What did he do, did he hurt you?" he asks anxiously.

Kate laughs, "More like Ana hurt him, we turned to leave and he tried to stop us he grabbed Ana's arm and she dislocated his for him, Luke had to pop it back in" she says proudly.

"What do you think? Admittedly I stretched the truth a little in places but I think I got across what I wanted to say" I say looking from Christian to Jason and back again.

"You did very well Mrs Grey; I do think you got your message across loud and clear. It remains to be seen if you have shut it down completely I don't think you will be hearing from Jose again any time soon, but I'm sure your mother will be in touch again at some point".

I snort, "Yeah when she wants something" I say bitterly.

My phone rings and I answer it I am surprised when I hear Bob's voice.

"Hi Bob what's wrong?" I ask

"Carla called me, she begged me to forgive her and I said no and told her I was filing for a divorce, she said she had nowhere to go, so I am just giving you a heads up in case she tries to worm her way in with you and Christian".

I laugh, "I doubt she will call me Bob but thanks for letting me know" I say.

After Kate leaves we get ready to go to Gideon and Eva's new apartment, it is literally just down the road from us, when we arrive Christian goes to the desk and the young security guard beams at him.

"Hello Mr Grey, Mr Cross is expecting you, go on up, you will need this" he hands Christian a sealed envelope with Christian written on the front in Gideon's handwriting. We step into the elevator and Christian opens the envelope, he reads the piece of paper and then taps in a code and the elevator takes us directly up to the penthouse. The doors open into an expansive lobby, standing there are Gideon and Eva grinning at us.

Christian looks around, "Hmm very nice" he says, he looks at Eva, "Escala is better" he says and winks at her.

"I'll give you that, your lobby is better, but you don't live the lobby you wait till you get inside here" she says, she grasps my hand and pulls me towards the main front door.

"I like this" I say, "its more secure than Escala, you have a lockable front door you don't exit the elevator directly into the apartment, because that is how it seems at Escala" I say, I see Christian nod in agreement.

I gasp as I walk in, it's huge, and tastefully decorated, in warm colours, unlike Escala which is cold and like an art gallery this feels like a home. "I love it" I say "How did you pull all this together so quickly?" I say

Gideon laughs, "When you have the name Cross things get done quickly, you will learn that now you have the name Grey" he says.

I sit on a large comfortable sofa with Eva as Gideon takes Christian to show him his office and security room. "So how did it go?"Eva asks.

I go through the events of the day and tell her everything that happened, "So I doubt I will be hearing from Jose again or my mother, until she wants something" I say.

"Its sad, I'd be devastated if my mother was like that, she drives me to distraction but I know I can count on her"

"I have my dad for that, I know he is there and has my best interests at heart, and now I have Grace, she has been more of a mother to me in the short time I have known her than my own mother has ever been" I say.

"That's nice but also quite sad at the same time" Eva says.

"Are you ok?" I ask

"Ana, Gideon was asking about getting married he has been dropping hints for weeks, I kept telling him we weren't ready but I have been thinking about it and now I am getting used to the idea, but guess what, he has stopped mentioning it, I don't know what to do now?" She looks at me and I am desperately trying to keep my face neutral.

"Well, leave things until you both get back to New York and then talk to him about it see what he says tell him you are warming to the idea and discuss it with him" I say.

"Yeah I'll do that, thanks Ana" Eva says, "So do you have any news for me apart from all the shit that has been shovelled your way the past few days"

I laugh, "Erm...Christian and I have decided to start trying for a baby" I say quietly

"Oh" Eva says "Are you ready? I mean what you went through and everything?" she says

I nod, "it means a lot to both of us, I figured out all the pros and cons before and I am in a totally different situation this time around, hopefully I won't miscarry again and we will be parents or I will at least be pregnant by this time next year!"

"Well I hope so too, you both deserve it" Eva says kindly.

After what seems like an eternity Christian and Gideon appear I am guessing they have been talking about the plans for the proposal, I know Christian was working hard arranging everything.

"So Gideon, where's the kitchen?" I ask

He laughs, "this way" he says nodding his head towards a door, Eva walks up to Christian and grasps his hand, come and see the view from the guestrooms she says and pulls Christian away. I turn to Gideon as he leads me into the kitchen.

"Wow" I say as I take in the huge kitchen.

"Yeah its something else isn't it" Gideon says proudly.

I turn to him "Ready for Saturday" he looks at me and I see the fear and apprehension about his decision to ask Eva to marry him.

"What if she says no Ana? I don't think I could stand it if she rejected me" he says

I smile at him, "She won't, she loves you, trust me" I say and pat his cheek playfully.

Gideon grasps my hand and runs his thumb over my knuckles. "You are a very special woman Ana, Christian is a very lucky man, I want what he has, I want that happiness that radiates from him when he sees you I want that with Eva, since she came into my life I felt complete, like there was a missing part of me and now its there and I am whole, I want everything, I want marriage, babies the whole nine yards, I want to grow old with her and watch our grandchildren play" I watch his eyes glisten as he says this.

"You will" I whisper to him.


	52. Chapter 52

CHAPTER 52

_**GIDEON'S PERSPECTIVE**_

_Saturday Morning..._

I awaken in our new apartment in Seattle, I feel full of nervous energy. I think about what Ana said to me how Eva loves me and she will say yes. She sounded so sure, so certain, I realise the girls must have been discussing marriage and Eva must have told her she wants to take the next step. I feel suddenly confident. I glance at the clock. Nearly 8:30am I am lying in bed and thinking how I wish Eva could wake up with me, I need to do something about these nightmares and the things they make me do. I have been talking with Christian about it and he has urged me once again to speak to Dr Flynn, Christian has a lot of faith in him, and I'm sure I would be safe. I am distracted as the door opens and Eva peeps in she smiles at me and I am immediately hard as stone, I open my arms and she runs to me and clambers on to the bed and throws herself into my arms.

"Good morning Angel" I whisper in her ear and nuzzle her neck gently.

"Good morning Ace" she replies, and shuffles until she is straddling me. I harden more and I am desperate to be inside her. My hands move restlessly over her body.

Suddenly she moves and rummages in a pocket of the robe she is wearing she produces a small tube of lotion, I stare at it and then at Eva questioningly.

"You know how you like being inside me?" she says

I nod, and pull her closer, "More than anything" I reply

"Well... I'd like to be inside you"

I feel panic surge through me and my hands drop away I shake my head furiously.

"Eva...I can't...please" I stammer, Eva smiles at me.

"Gideon, let me try, I'll stop if it gets too much for you, but I want to give you some good memories of that part of your body, you help erase Nathan's touch, let me try and help you" she looks at me with such love I desperately want to agree.

I think about what she has said, the last time anyone went near my ass was when I was examined after I had told my mother I was raped, and the result of that, when my mother was lied to made me feel violated all over again. I don't know if I can do this, but then I think about Eva, she was repeatedly raped, yet she lets me enter her and make love to her, she won't hurt me she loves me, she wants to show me pleasure not pain.

I grip her hands tightly, "Ok" I say

Eva smiles at me and kisses me sweetly.

"Just say stop and I will stop ok?" she says

I nod, I kick the quilt off and roll on to my side taking Eva with me, so we are side by side, our hands are roaming freely all over each other, she plants sweet kisses on me all the way down my front and I shiver in anticipation. Her hands move slowly south and she grips my cock, I gasp as she strokes it and then takes it in her mouth as she does this her hand moves under my balls I flinch violently as memories surge through my mind and I grip her tightly.

"It's ok baby, its ok, I'm not going to hurt you, and I'm going to love you" she says earnestly.

She looks at me and I nod, I close my eyes as she tries again, I try to control my breathing, she can tell I am not comfortable with this and she swings herself around.

"Let's do it together" she says

I grip her hips and bring her down on my face and start sucking and lapping at her clit, I hear her gasp , and she moves her hand down again underneath my balls, all the while sucking on my cock. Her free hand is searching for the lotion, I grab it and lube up my finger before handing it to her, I want this, I'm afraid but I really want this, as her finger caresses my back passage I push my finger into hers, she gasps and her back arches, this excites me and I start to move, I move my finger while licking her clit. Then I feel it, I feel her slowly enter me, I feel her finger going there, I let out an involuntary guttural howl and freeze, all manner of memories cascade through my head and I am momentarily filled with panic.

"Please Eva" I gasp.

"It's ok, I'm inside you, you are doing so well baby" she says gently, I breathe deeply and concentrate on her words as I do so I start to actually enjoy the sensation, there is no pain, she being gentle and steady and it feels so good. She continues to suck on my cock as she plunges her finger in and out, she runs it over my prostate gland and presses the sensation is unreal.

"Eva please" I say I don't know what I am pleading for, more, or for her to stop, I want her to carry on I want this so badly. I start to writhe, not in pain but in ecstasy and I moan, I feel Eva start to shake and tighten and I know she is going to come shortly, I carry on and she comes all over my face, I concentrate on my pleasure as Eva continues to give me the sexual experience of my life. I close my eyes and I grip the sheet, I'm so close I am going to come, I have never been so aroused in my life.

Eva presses inside me just as she sucks on my cock and I come loudly, and violently, I scream out Eva's name and I rip the sheet I am gripping, I am seeing stars literally, I have never experienced anything like it.

Eva has turned herself around and she is staring at me anxiously, she pulls me into her arms and I cling to her, "Thank you" I whisper and then I sob uncontrollably in the crook of her neck.

I am totally wiped out, we head silently to the shower and wash each other gently and reverently, Eva is a mess I came so violently she couldn't cope and pulled away and she is literally covered in my semen, I find this so arousing, but I just don't have it in me to do anything more, that was literally the orgasm of my life.

I feel so mellow, I want to do that again at some point, I feel Eva has banished some demons, I understand now what she meant when she said I erased Nathan's touch, I feel as though I have been released from something that was controlling me. After a late breakfast we are ready to leave. Christian and Ana are coming to collect us to go to their new house. Christian has assured me the beach looks amazing. I am drawn from my thoughts as our friends arrive. We are all dressed simply in jeans and sweaters it's a cold late September day yet thankfully sunny, Christian gives me a knowing look as he slaps me on the back.

"Ready?" he asks I know he is referring to more than if I am ready to leave.

I nod confidently. I turn and look at Eva she is chattering nineteen to the dozen with Ana and I can't take my eyes off her, she must sense me staring as she looks at me and gives me a beautiful smile. My heart skips and I walk over and grasp her hand.

"Lets go" I say firmly.

We climb into Christian's SUV and Taylor follows in another one with Angus and Luke. I wanted Angus there to witness my proposal, I sit in the front with Christian and Ana and Eva are in the back. When I get my first glimpse of the house, I am taken aback it is magnificent. But it isn't something I would expect to be Christian's taste, I remember him saying he wanted to demolish it and rebuild yet Ana loved this house, and I can see why.

As we come to a halt Eva is staring open mouthed at it .

"What do you think?" Christian says with a grin

"Wow" Eva says and I nod in agreement.

"I think wow is just about adequate" I say and Christian laughs.

I see Elliot appear he comes towards us and grip Eva and spins her around, I feel my jealously spike but I control it Elliot doesn't mean any harm, and then he does the same with Ana. She squeals and slaps his arm.

We head inside and Elliot finds us all hard hats and gives us a tour showing what work is needed and is being done. Ana is telling Eva how she envisions everything and Christian just smiles indulgently at her, this house is going to be what Ana wants, and what Ana wants Ana will get. I can't say anything though, I am exactly the same with Eva, I find it incredibly hard to say no to her.

Christian takes us and shows us the view and Eva gasps, "Is there a beach down there?" she asks

Christian nods, "There is, do you want to go and see?" he asks

Eva nods and Christian leads us down the garden to the beach beyond. I grip Eva's hand as we get closer and I see Christian turn and grasp Ana's hand, I continue to stride forward and I gasp when I see what he has done for us, there is a huge comfortable sofa under a gazebo, there are natural wind breaks made out of wood and plants around it and thousands of flowers there is a row of lights making a path to the gazebo, and lights dotted all around it, it looks stunning. Christian looks at me anxiously and I nod its perfect.

I grip Eva's hand and lead her to the Gazebo and urge her to sit down, as she does so music starts to play, quietly in the background.

I fall to my knees in front of Eva and grip her hands.

"Eva, Christian and I have been planning this which is why I have been working late at the office, there wasn't a problem at work, I was planning this, because I love you Eva, I need you, I want you, say you will marry me, say you will be my wife and stay with me always" I stop and I stare at her. She stares right back at me, I can tell she is overwhelmed .

"Gideon...I" she starts and my heart sinks, she is going to turn me down.

"Please Eva, the answer is yes, you love me, remember" I say anxiously.

She smiles "Yes Gideon i will marry you" she says, I fling my arms around her and it occurs to me I forgot the ring.

"Shit" I say as I pull away from her and rummage in my jeans pocket, she stares at me in confusion.

I pull out the ring box and shrug in apology, "I forgot this bit" I say in embarrassment.

She giggles and kisses my cheek, "That's ok I'll still say yes" she says, and then her mouth drops open as I open the box.

"Shit Gideon" she gasps, and I smile with satisfaction, oh yes Angel only the best for you.

I take out the ring and slip it on her finger and as I do so I see a flash and I see Christian taking photographs, he is grinning insanely. I hear a round of applause and I see Angus, Taylor and Luke clapping and smiling widely.

Ana can't control herself any longer and runs up she flings her arms around us both and kisses me and Eva and then she inspects Eva's ring.

"Eva its beautiful" she says and then hugs her again.

Christian walks over and shakes my hand, "Congratulations, you won't regret it, marriage is the way to go" I see Ana look up at him lovingly and grip his arm, he wraps his arm protectively around her and plant a kiss on the top of her head.

"Shall we?" he says and gestures for us to move behind the screens, as we move behind them I see two comfortable looking cane sofas and a small table with a bottle of champagne and four glasses and more flowers and lights.

"You have to celebrate these things" he says with a shrug and proceeds to open the bottle. He pours out the champagne and proposes a toast.

"To our closest friends on this day, when they have made the best decision of their lives, I hope you both will be as happy as I am with Ana, knowing that you have found the other part of you, so to Gideon and Eva"

"Gideon and Eva", Ana replies. We all clink glasses.

I look around for Angus I don't see him and I suddenly need him to be part of this, I pull my phone out and text him, a few moments later he appears and I refill my glass and hand it to him.

"i want you to share in this moment" I say, Angus smiles at me and hugs me, but politely refuses the champagne.

"It does me good to see you so happy" He whispers in my ear, and then he turns to Eva and says something to her.

I glance at Eva and she is crying a little, I wrap my arm around her.

"Are you happy Angel?" I ask

She nods, "Very" she replies and then she stares at Ana, it appears she is remembering something or thinking about things, Suddenly she points at Ana.

"You knew – you knew all about this and you let me whine to you the other night about how I thought he had gone off the idea of getting married, Oh Mrs Grey you are in so much trouble". Eva bursts out laughing and Ana grins.

"What could I do, I gave the best advice I could knowing it would never be needed!" she says.


	53. Chapter 53

CHAPTER 53

We leave Christian's new house and head back into Seattle. He has booked us a reservation at a restaurant.

When we arrive everyone is in high spirits as we all climb out of the SUV, then suddenly I see Taylor fix his gaze on someone or something, Ana sees Taylor's reaction too and she glances at Christian who is oblivious, Taylor herds us all inside and Luke quickly pulls me to one side and whispers in my ear.

"Sir, Taylor saw Tony Garratt, the man who Mr Grey knows...the one from his childhood before he was adopted" I nod a guessed as much.

"I take it Christian didn't see him?" I say

"No sir" he replies, and he looks relieved at that.

I didn't see Christian's meltdown but I have heard enough from both Ana and Christian to know it was incredibly disturbing.

"Tell Taylor not to mention anything to Christian tonight, it won't help anyone if he reacts badly in public" I say.

Luke nods and walks over to Taylor and whispers in his ear, Taylor glances towards me and nods almost imperceptibly. We take our seats at a table and we are given our menu's. Ana glances at me and I smile encouragingly at her, she doesn't say anything but looks down at her menu.

After a delicious meal, and another toast to our happiness Christian looks around the table, "Well what would you like to do now?" he asks.

Eva looks up and looks directly at me, I feel my cock twitch, she wants me, alone. I look at Christian and smile.

"Christian I just want to thank you for today, for making my proposal to Eva absolutely perfect, I couldn't have wished for a better setting. We both have fond memories of beaches and they are special places for us and you have helped make today wonderful for us"

I see realisation dawn on Christian's face and he nods. "It was my pleasure, and if I am not mistaken Gideon would like some time alone with his fiancé?" he raises his eyebrows and I can't help myself and I throw my head back and laugh heartily.

"My friend you know me so well, I hope you are not offended by my bringing this wonderful day to an end?" I say when I finally pull myself together.

Christian shakes his head and laughs and turns to Ana, "Not at all I would be...no correction I am exactly the same. Ana, I think that is our queue to make ourselves scarce!"

I see Ana blush and she turns and hugs Eva warmly and whispers something in her ear. Eva glances at me and giggles.

Christian pays the bill and we leave, I notice Taylor is on high alert. I step along side him and whisper in his ear.

"Taylor any further info on this man, do we know why he is in Seattle?" Taylor shakes his head.

"No Sir, and believe me we have tried, the team you sent to assist Welch have been unable to uncover anything, which if you ask me is worrying".

I nod in agreement, I feel impotent, this is my friend, a man who is as emotionally damaged as I am if there is anything I can do to help I want to do it and I don't care what it costs. I will never get my justice as Hugh is dead, I got a small token of justice when Sybil was convicted and jailed, but this man did unthinkably violent things to a defenceless toddler.

"What's going on?" I turn and see Christian has emerged from the SUV obviously wondering why Taylor and I haven't joined everyone.

"I was just talking with Taylor, forgive me" I say brightly, I see Christian frown and he looks at Taylor.

"What about?" he asks, he look's directly at Taylor. Ana has now emerged from the SUV and is looking at all three of us in turn, I think she has worked out what has happened and pulls on Christian's arm.

"Christian, leave it, you can talk to Taylor when we get home" she says, trying to reason with him.

Christian looks at her and I am shocked with the tone he uses to her. "Get in the fucking car Ana" he snaps.

I see Ana's face harden and she withdraws her hand from his arm and places her hands on her hips.

"Hey! Don't you dare curse at me, Taylor will brief you like he always does when we get home, Gideon is entitled to talk to Taylor if he wants to without having to run it past you, so stop behaving like an asshole".

I see Christian glare at Ana but she stands firm and glares right back. With another curse under his breath he gets into the car and slams the door. Ana rolls her eyes and climbs into the car. I pat Taylor on the arm and he nods before getting into the second SUV and I climb in beside Christian.

The ride home is silent and the atmosphere in the car can be cut with a knife, as Christian pulls up outside our apartment I turn to him.

"Thank you for today, you made my proposal to Eva perfect"

I see his face soften and he nods, but doesn't say a word. I climb out of the car and open Eva's door, I notice Ana has also emerged and she comes around and hugs me.

"Taylor saw Tony Garrett didn't he?" she asks

I nod.

"Shit" she says "I thought that was what had happened when I saw his reaction"

She hugs Eva tightly and then she returns to me. "I'm sorry for Christian's behaviour, he's always like this when he feels out of control, and he thinks things are being kept from him" she says sadly.

"Yes, I'm sorry, I should never have reacted the way I did" we turn and see Christian has got out of the car he is looking ashamed.

"Don't worry" I say kindly and slap his shoulder. He nods and climbs back into the car.

"I'd better go" Ana says with a small smile and she hugs us both again before climbing into the car.

_**ANA's PERSPECTIVE**_

I climb into the seat vacated by Gideon and put my hand on Christian's lap and squeeze his knee.

"What's going on Ana, do you know what Gideon and Taylor were talking about?" he asks looking at me steadily.

I sigh and nod, "Yes I do, when we arrived at the restaurant, Taylor saw Tony Garratt, and he was worried in case you spotted him. Gideon noticed Taylor's reaction and he was finding out what had spooked him. I also saw Taylor's reaction and I figured out for myself that he had probably seen that man and I was just getting confirmation from Gideon just now" I stop and wait.

Christian just nods and starts the car and pulls out and drives the short distance to Escala. He doesn't say a word as he exits the car and comes around my side and opens my door and offers me his hand to help me out. We travel up the elevator in silence and when we arrive he simply lets go of my hand and walks into his study and shuts the door. A moment later Taylor appears and he looks at me questioningly.

"What happened?" he asks

I quickly run through what I told Christian, his behaviour and where he is now. Taylor nods at me and with a deep breath walks towards Christian's study. I shake my head and quickly send a text to Kate she replies almost immediately I read the text and then go in search of Luke. I find him in the security office and he stands as soon as I enter.

"Luke, will you take me to Kate's apartment please?" I ask

He nods and picks his coat up. We leave the apartment and when we are in the elevator I turn and speak to him.

"Thanks for doing this" I say

"No problem Mrs Grey" he says

We get in the SUV and he drives me the short distance to Kate's apartment.

"Do you want to come in as well, I dragged you out here I don't want to be responsible for you having to sit out here in the car?" I say.

Luke smiles and climbs out of the car and opens my door. "Thank you Mrs Grey" he says.

As we are walking up the path, I hear someone call to me. I turn and see a middle aged man, with messy greasy dark brown hair which is peppered with grey, he is wearing dirty jeans and a t shirt with a hole in it and a thick jacket which is open and looks too big for him. He has a lit cigarette in his dirty fingers.

"Can I help you?" I ask politely

"Are you Christian Grey's wife?" the man asks uncertainly, glancing at Luke as he says it

Luke steps in front of me and I see him reaching for his gun.

I put my hand on Luke's arm, "It depends who is asking? Who are you and what is it to you who I am?" I say

He laughs, and draws on the cigarette he is holding "Fiesty aren't you? I'm surprised he went for you, not much submission in you is there? Give the little shit a message for me will you...tell him you can take the boy out of the slum's of Detroit but you can't take the slum out of the boy, he is more like me than he would care to admit to himself or anyone, he has tried so hard to remove himself from his humble beginnings and he has done very well, but I think I deserve a bit of commission for my part in making him the man he is today, not to mention compensation for the fact his junkie mother went and died, she lost me half my income" I stare at him and the anger in me bubbles over I push Luke out of the way and grab the mans cigarette and I press it into his hand, he yelps in pain.

"Mrs Grey!" Luke yells and pulls me away.

"Hurts doesn't it?" I spit at the man who is now clutching his burnt hand, how do you think that felt on a four year old boy's back and chest.

"You fucking bitch" he says glaring at me. I shake myself free from Luke, the adrenalin is coursing through me and I kick the man hard in his balls, he doubles over in agony and as he does so I kick him again in the ribs.

"That was for the four year old who couldn't defend himself against you" I say as I allow Luke to lead me away. I watch as the man disappears into the night.

"I'm sorry Luke" I whisper as he leads me to the front door

"Don't worry about it, that piece of shit deserved it" he says tightly. I smile gratefully, but I know I have probably just made his and Taylor's job a little harder.

When we get into Kate's apartment I see Luke making a call and I know he is telling Jason what I have done. I tell Kate what happened and she gapes at me.

"Shit Ana, what if he had attacked you?!" she says.

"I took him by surprise, he wasn't expecting anything like that" I say.

"Anyway Steele, what's wrong, why are you here?" she asks.

I sigh and tell her everything about Christian's meltdown a few days ago, about the events of earlier and how Christian has been behaving since, Kate shakes her head.

"Ana this was the man who made him the fucked up person he is, I know Elena Lincoln did her bit to him as well but he was the one who made Christian scared of being touched and caused all the issues she took advantage of, its no wonder he is acting strange" I stare at her, not quite believing what I am hearing. Kate defending Christian is something to behold.

"I know, I just ...I don't know how to handle it, how to handle him when he acts this way, I can normally calm him and bring him around, his anger and his tantrums I can deal with, but I just have no idea what to do when he acts like this, I just needed to talk to you, you are my best friend and oldest friend, I just wanted to share".

Kate leans forward and hugs me. "I'm always here for you Steele" she says.

I hear a cough and turn to look at Luke.

"Mr Grey is on his way over, T said he is erm...rather angry" he looks at me apologetically.

"Great!" I say sarcastically.

Just as I say this I hear the intercom buzz, Kate goes to answer it and immediately pulls the handset away from her ear.

I can hear Christian's angry voice clearly as he yells into the intercom.

"OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR KATE AND LET ME IN" I feel my anger start to rise as I grab the handset from her.

"Christian Grey calm down, if you want to come in you ask in a civil manner, and until you do you can stay out there" I say firmly.

Kate stifles a giggle and takes the handset from me and waits, there is silence – I am guessing Christian is shocked I have refused to let him in, I hear him a moment later speak in a quieter but clipped tone.

"I apologise for shouting at you Kate, please open the door and let me in" Kate looks at me and I nod. Kate presses the button and then a moment later I hear a knock at the door. Kate opens the door and Christian stalks in followed by a worried looking Taylor. Christian glares at me angrily.

I fold my arms and raise my eyebrows and glare right back at him.

"What the fuck are you playing at?" he growls at me.

"I'm not playing at anything Christian, you were the one who had a tantrum in front of our friends earlier and spoilt what was a wonderful day, you were the one who then demanded to know what was happening and what was spoken about and when I told you, you were the one who shut down and didn't say a fucking word and when we got back to the apartment, didn't sit down and talk things through with me, no, you were the one who ran off to your study to sulk. So taking all that into account, I was feeling a little upset and confused, so I decided to come over and talk to my friend and when I got here I was confronted by your birth mother's pimp who gave me a message for you, and when he bad mouthed you so I got so angry I ripped the cigarette from his fingers and stubbed it out on his hand, to see how he liked being used as an ashtray, and I kicked him in the balls and I shouted at him and then I came up here and talked to Kate, I'm pretty sure while I was talking to Kate, Luke was telling Jason about what I had done to that man, then you arrived so that is what I am playing at Christian, any questions?!" I stop and watch as he goes deathly white.

"Are you out of your fucking mind?" he whispers.

My mouth drops open and I stare in disbelief. "I think that's a bit rich coming from you of all people" I snap and I immediately regret it as I see the hurt expression on his face. "I'm sorry I didn't mean that" I say straight away. I step forward and reach out to him but Christian holds his hand up and turns and leaves without a word. I stare after him, shit what have I done. I look at Kate.

"Don't worry, he'll be ok, he loves you, everyone says things in the heat of the moment, he will realise that when he calms down" she says.

I shake my head, "No he won't, he's always told me he was fifty shades of fucked up and I always told him I loved him anyway, he will take that as I don't love him and want him any more, that I've had enough". As I say this I realise with a sudden clarity exactly why Christian behaved the way he did, he is terrified that I will leave him, and what did I do tonight, I walked out and left him and came here, and I just threw in his face that it was because of the way he behaved, I turn to Kate "you have no idea of the self loathing he has and I have just confirmed everything he that he has ever thought about himself". I look at Luke who is looking at me sympathetically.

"Where has he gone can you get hold of Jason and find out?" I ask desperately

He nods and pulls his phone out, I listen to the conversation. "T, where are you and the boss heading?...Mrs Grey wants to know, she is worried about him...I see...I will...yes...ok T ...yes I'll tell her" he hangs up and I wait holding my breath.

"Erm, it appears Mr Grey jumped into the car and took off at speed, T took our car and is following him, he said for you to stay here until he gets in touch".

I nod, "Ok, how did Taylor manage to drive our car you have the keys?" I ask

"Taylor has a set for the entire fleet of cars ma'am" Luke replies.

I nod, I turn to Kate and she opens her arms and I walk into them and sob on her shoulder.


	54. Chapter 54

CHAPTER 54

I lift my head up off of Kate's shoulder and sniff loudly, I pull myself together and think.

"Kate can I borrow your car?" I ask

Kate nods and immediately reaches for her car keys which are hanging on a nearby hook. She hands them to me with a smile.

"Thank you" I say gratefully, I turn to Luke, "Luke can you trace Christian's cell phone?" I ask

Luke looks hesitant but nods, "Mrs Grey, T said..." he begins.

"Luke I have to make this right" I say firmly, "Now, are you going to help me?" I add

I see him thinking carefully and eventually he nods reluctantly. "Please, let me call T first and tell him what you are planning to do" he says.

I nod, I don't want him to get into trouble with Taylor for my actions, I see him disappear into another room to make the call. A few moments later he returns and looks at me.

"Ok let's go" he says

I turn to Kate and hug her, "Thank you for this I will get your car back to you as soon as I can" I say.

She waves her hand dismissively and we take our leave.

I jump into the driving seat and Luke climbs in beside me and he gives me directions of where to head. I put my foot down and speed off into the night.

I realise where we are heading as soon as we get off the interstate and hit the winding residential roads. Christian has gone to the new house. When we eventually arrive, I key in the number I saw Christian tap in previously and the gate opens, I drive in and park next to the two abandoned SUV's.

"Where are they?" I ask looking around. Luke picks his phone up and calls Taylor once more.

"T we have arrived where's the boss?" he asks, I see him listen and he looks at me, when he hangs up I wait.

"Well?" I ask as he pushes his phone into his pocket.

"The beach" he says.

I take off before the words have finished coming out of his mouth, I run down through the meadow and towards the shining sound in the distance. My lungs feel like they are going to explode but I keep going. I stop when I reach the beach and look around frantically, I am panting with the exertion I don't see anyone to start with, and then I see Taylor he is watching a hunched figure down by the water's edge as I walk closer I see Taylor is standing back and Christian is sitting with his knees drawn up and his head on his arms and he is sobbing bitterly. He is totally unaware of Taylor's presence and Taylor is just watching from his position a discreet distance away. He turns to look at me as he sees me approaching, he steps back further, Luke goes to stand with him as I carefully walk towards my husband.

I don't say a word, as I kneel down next to him and wrap my arms around his shoulders. I feel him stiffen and he ignores me, he doesn't even lift his head when I gently say his name.

"Christian" I whisper, there is no response.

"Christian, please look at me, I'm so sorry Christian, I should never have said that to you, I'm sorry please forgive me, it was cruel and wrong" I wait hoping for a reaction but there is nothing.

"Christian please" I beg.

"You said you'd never leave me" he whispers his head still tucked in his folded arms on his knees.

"I didn't leave you, I just went to see Kate" I try and reason with him. "Do you want me to stay now or do you want to be alone?" I ask.

"I don't know" he replies

"Christian, please know I love you but I don't know what to do when you behave like this, I know its not your fault but when you shut me out I have no idea what to do for you, I thought I was doing the right thing tonight, leaving you alone to get over it, I was obviously wrong, and I know what I said to you at Kate's was totally unacceptable, I swear I didn't mean it, it was said in the heat of the moment, I wasn't thinking, I love you Christian". I am almost begging but still there is no response from him.

"What do you want me to do?" I ask desperately, I start to pull away from him, as I do so I see terrified grey eyes look at me.

"Don't leave me" he gasps

"I will never leave you Christian, I promised you that" I say, I shuffle to my feet hoping he will stand with me but unfortunately Christian takes this as me moving away.

"Ana no, don't leave me" he wails and his hands go to his hair, he stares at me wildly and he turns and the next thing I realise he is on his knees in front of me I stare at him wondering what he is doing.

I reach for him and put my hands on his shoulders, "Christian calm down I'm not leaving I am just standing up, my legs were going to sleep I had to move" I am trying to reason with him but he isn't listening he has completely shut down I wonder what he is doing, and then I notice his stance, it looks familiar, he is on his knees with his hands on his lap and his head down, he is completely still and quiet. He has gone into a submissive stance, I have no idea what to do, what is he expecting me to do?

"Christian look at me" I say, his head sweeps up and he gazes at me.

"Christian speak to me" I say

"What do you want me to say?" he asks

Shit, this is not good, I have no idea what to do, I don't want to dominate him, I hate that whole dominant/submissive thing.

"Christian please stand up" I say gently and I hold out my hand to him, he takes my hand and in one fluid movement he is on his feet, but he still doesn't say a word, he is totally motionless, I grasp his hand and lead him to the car, Taylor and Luke are following a discreet distance away. I open the passenger door of Kate's car and motion for him to get in, he does so obediently and I go to climb into the driver's seat. I glance back at Taylor and Luke and they silently take an SUV each and we leave the house.

When we arrive back in Seattle I pull into the car park at Escala, I climb out and give Luke the keys to Kate's car.

"Can you take it back to Kate please?" I ask

He nods and waits, I frown and then glancing back at the car I realise Christian is still sitting inside, he hasn't moved. I sigh and go around to his side and open the door.

"Come on" I say gently and he steps out and takes my hand, we head inside in silence and when we reach the apartment I gesture to the sofa, and he sits down without a word. I sit down beside him and take his hand in mine.

"Christian talk to me please" I say

"What do you want me to say?" he asks

I look carefully at him. I feel bad using this situation to get the answers I want but I can see no other way so I speak "I want you to talk to me, tell me what you are thinking, what your fears are, what you feel, what you want, if you still want me, why you got upset when you saw Gideon talking with Taylor, I want to know what's going on in your head Christian, I want to understand so I can try and help you". I stop and wait, still clutching his hand tightly, a pair of desolate grey eyes stares back at me, I continue to wait in silence eventually after what seems like an eternity Christian takes a deep breath and begins to speak.

"I was afraid, I was out of control, I saw Gideon talking to Taylor and I had a feeling something was going on and nobody was telling me anything, and I felt I was being shut out, I reacted and I behaved badly, I'm sorry for what I said to you baby, it was wrong. Then when you told me the reason you were all talking I was really terrified, the fear I felt when I saw him the other day hit me again, and I realise why nobody had said anything to me and that made me feel ashamed because people were afraid of how I would react if knew, and I proved those fears right with my behaviour, then I went to hide because I felt so ashamed and I pushed you away and you left me, you have no idea how panicked I was when I came out of my office and found you gone, Taylor got a call from Sawyer saying you were at Kate's and he told me you had been confronted by ...him, I went into a blind panic I didn't want him to hurt you but I was too afraid to confront him, and I felt ashamed of myself that I put my feelings before your safety, and I was angry with myself and him for confronting you, I had all these...feelings and they just consumed me, I didn't know what to do, so I came to you, I'm sorry I shouted at Kate I shouldn't have done that, and then you said what you said, and it was true all of it, and I just had to go, I had let you down, you had confronted that animal I wasn't there to protect you and you had confronted him and shown more courage than I did, I felt useless and I just had to get away. I went to our house, and sat on the beach, I heard Taylor arrive then you came, I don't deserve you, you shouldn't have married me, I'm no good for you, you deserve more than me, but although I know I should let you go, I am too much of a coward not to mention too selfish to do it, the fear I feel inside me if you did leave me overwhelms me, I need you more than I need my own existence, but that makes me feel ashamed because I am so selfish" he stops and his head droops.

My head is spinning from everything he has just told me, I think carefully and I touch his face, his head rise's and he looks at me uncertainly, I smile at him.

"What am I going to do with you?" I say gently, "Christian, I need you to listen to me and believe me, what happened to you as a four year old?" I ask, Christian looks at me but doesn't say anything. So I answer my own question. "You were physically abused by a drug addicted pimp, you were kicked across rooms, punched, kicked, had your bones broken and had cigarettes stubbed out on you, am I correct?" I wait and he nods at me. I continue, "So that happened when you were four years old, and its safe to say those memories stayed with you am I right?" he nods again, I can see he is gradually returning to me and listening carefully to what I am saying, I press on, "So, it is also safe to say when you saw that man again for the first time since you were four it brought back terrible memories?" Christian nods again, "Right, when you were four years old did you feel afraid and helpless?"

"Yes I did" he says speaking for the first time.

"Of course you did, and those were the perfectly natural feelings you experienced when you saw that man again for the first time since you were four years old, that doesn't make you weak, or a coward, that makes you a normal traumatised man, when I saw Morton for the first time when I was taken that day, I froze, I know self defence, I can shoot a gun and throw a knife but I froze, because I was reliving the abuse he previously put me through, its totally normal. Then you discovered I had left, and I'm so sorry I went to Kate's, I didn't know what to do, I should have stayed, I should have waited and helped you, but I was at a loss I didn't know what to do for the best, can you forgive me for making that mistake?" I wait and I see his eyes soften and he nods.

"Of course I can I..." I hold my hand up to stop him and I continue to speak.

"Thank you, then your normal coping mechanisms kicked in and you became angry, because that is what you do, you came after me because that is what you do, you cursed and threw your weight about because that is what you do, and I reacted to it, because that is what I do, and I shouldn't have done, and it made me angry and it shouldn't have done, to be fair, that piece of shit had just goaded me and made me so angry and I was still coming down from that, but I shouldn't have said what I said to you, it was cruel and it was totally wrong, do you forgive me for that?" I stop and I wait again.

He nods "Of course I do" he says, he pulls his hand out of mine and he touches my face.

"Ok, well, we both made mistakes, but the way you reacted to that man was not one of them, that was a totally normal reaction and nothing to be ashamed of, and it was completely acceptable, do you understand me?" I wait and he nods at me.

"Good, so then if that is the case, and we forgive each other for the mistakes we both made, how do you feel now?" I ask and wait.

I see him think about my question, he looks at me and smiles widely, "relieved, happy that you still want me and that you are not leaving me" he stops as I raise my eyebrows at him.

"Ok, you are not going to leave me because you promised me that you would never leave me" he says.

"And why am I never going to leave you?" I ask

"Because you love me" he replies and when he says that he flings his arms around me. "Thank you Ana thank you for making me see things clearly" he says.

"You are welcome, but remember I can't help you see things clearly, unless you talk to me and tell me how you are feeling, so we can discuss it and work it out, because I am not making a habit out of driving around Seattle and the North West tracking you down to sort things out!" I grin at him.

"Good point well made as always" he says, "I really don't deserve you" he adds.

"Ah ah ah" I chastise and look at him. "What have I said about your self loathing, that is something I won't tolerate Christian, you have to stop thinking that way, you are worth loving, you are worth my love, so now repeat after me, my name is Christian Trevelyan Grey" I stop and wait.

"My name is Christian Trevelyan Grey" he says in an amused voice.

"I am a good man and I am worthy of love" I say

"I am a good man and I am worthy of love" he repeats

"I am worthy of the love of my wife, and I deserve to be her husband" I say

"I..." he stops

"Go on!" I encourage

"I am worthy of the love of my wife, and I deserve to be her husband" he says

"I deserve a happy and fulfilled life and a family of my own and my hopes and dreams to be fulfilled" I say

"I deserve a happy and fulfilled life and a family of my own and my hopes and dreams to be fulfilled" he replies, he touches my stomach with his fingertips as he says this.

"And I promise to stop having all these negative thoughts about myself and if they do pop into my head I won't brood and I will discuss it with my wife" I say

"And I promise to stop having all these negative thoughts about myself and..." he pauses

"...if they do pop into my head I won't brood and will discuss it with my wife" I prompt.

"...if they do pop into my head I won't brood and will discuss it with my wife" he says

I nod my head, "Promise?" I ask

He smiles and wraps his arms around me, "I promise baby" he says.


	55. Chapter 55

CHAPTER 55

We sit in each others arms for a while and I just relish being with him and us being quiet and holding each other, no interruptions and no sexual activity, just being together. We are inevitably disturbed by his phone buzzing, he reaches into his pocket and pulls it out and looks at the screen a huge grin crosses his face and he answers it, putting it on speaker so I can hear it too.

"Gideon my friend, did you get your rocks off?" Christian asks cheekily,

"Christian!" I exclaim, I slap his arm and stare at him, unable to believe he actually just said that.

I hear a laugh come from the phone, "Ah that would be telling, but lets just say I am feeling pretty mellow at the moment" Gideon says.

"Guy's please too much information!" I protest.

"Hi Ana, sorry – behave Christian!" Gideon says in a mock stern voice which is completely lost when he laughs again.

"What do you want Gideon? Or are you just ringing to brag about your sex life" Christian asks

I hear Gideon snort with laughter again, "No not at all, I rang because Eva wants to know what that song was – the one you had playing quietly in the background when I proposed to her, she said she liked it and to be honest I wasn't really paying that much attention to it but obviously I'm not going to tell her that".

I roll my eyes as Christian chuckles and then speaks, "It was by Thunder, a British rock band from the early 1990's I have no idea if they are still going or not, but it was a song from their debut album, it was called Love walked in, I listened to it and it felt right, for you guys from my point of view". He says.

"Do you have it there at all?" Gideon asks

"Yeah I have the song downloaded on my ipod, hang on" Christian replies and reaches for his ipod and the docking station, he places them on the table in front of us and scrolls through the songs on his ipod.

"Here, I have it" he replies and starts to play it, I listen to it as well, as I thought it was a lovely song from what I heard this afternoon.

_Top of Form_

_So tired of waiting I walked an empty land  
I was looking for something to help me understand  
But bad luck kept turning my dreams into sand_

_I didn't want pity, I had my share of friends  
I wanted somebody more special than the rest  
I was aching inside like I was approaching the end_

_Just about that moment the timing was so right  
You appeared like a vision sent down to my life  
I thought I was dreaming when I saw you that night_

_That's when love walked in through my door  
That familiar feeling I had once before  
Love walked in through my door, and it felt so strange_

_It's hard to remember being on my own  
That kind of loving makes a hard man lose control  
But I sleep so much better now I'm not alone_

_So promise me baby you're always gonna stay  
I don't think I could take it seeing you walk away  
You don't need to doubt it, I remember that day_

_That's when love walked in through my door  
I found just what I wanted but I got so much more  
Love walked in through my door, and it felt so strange  
Like a long lost friend that hadn't changed, giving me hope again_

_Love walked in, love walked in, love_

Just about that moment the timing was so right  
You appeared like a vision sent down to my life  
I thought I was dreaming, when I saw you that night

_That's when love walked in through my door  
That familiar feeling I had once before  
Love walked in through my door, that familiar feeling I had once before  
Love walked in through my door, and it felt so strange  
Like a long lost friend that hadn't changed, giving me hope again  
Love walked in, love walked in, love, love walked in, love walked in_

"That could apply to us as well" I whisper to Christian when it has finished.

Christian nods and we wait for Gideon to respond.

"Thank you guys that song is beautiful, I'm going to download it for Eva, so it's by a band named Thunder and its called Love walked in – that's right isn't it?"

Christian confirms that it is and after a few more words, Gideon is gone.

We sit for a few more moments and then Christian sighs, "I suppose I'd better go and have that briefing with Taylor" he says, "I'd love to know why that pimp has come back into my life after all these years".

I look down "He wants money" I say quietly

Christian looks at me, "What did he say to you baby?" he asks.

I grasp his hand and relive what he said to me, I see Christian start to get uncomfortable and I grip his hand tighter as I see his anger rising.

"Shit" he says eventually and runs his hand through this hair when I have finished talking, "I'm so sorry you had to go through that because of me" he says

"Christian stop it" I say firmly

He looks at me and smiles, "Sorry baby" he whispers and kisses my forehead, "I'll go and talk to Taylor see what we can do" and with that he stands and I watch him leave.

The next day Gideon and Eva head back to New York, we go to the airport to see them off and the talk is when we will meet up again. The plan is we are heading to New York to spend Thanksgiving with them, and then hopefully we should be in our new home for Christmas and they are returning to Seattle and celebrating Christmas with us there. I see Gideon and Christian are genuinely excited about these plans and it occurs to me that they both were so closed off and solitary and that these family orientated times were probably not pleasant experiences for them. I put this to Eva and she confirmed my suspicions and we plot to make this year the best thanksgiving and Christmas they have ever had.

I decide to head to work to catch up on a few things, Christian protests saying that it's Sunday, but I am feeling a little guilty about taking so much time off recently, thankfully he understands and we swing past Cross Publishing on the way back from the airport. I quickly clear the outstanding work which Damien had left for me and I feel much happier that I won't be coming in on the back foot tomorrow morning.

"Do you feel better now baby?" Christian says with amusement as he watches me sigh and push the complete pile of paperwork into the filing tray for my assistant to put away.

I nod, "Yes I do, I don't want to take advantage of our relationship with Gideon, I don't want people to think that because I am friends with him I can get away with things"

"Nobody could question your work ethic baby" Christian says kindly. I smile at him and stand up.

"Thank you Christian that means a lot, ok I'm done shall we go and get some lunch, I'm starving" I say with a grin.

Christian doesn't need telling twice and we leave and head back to Escala where I prepare us a light lunch. The rest of the day is quiet and uneventful. After our talk Christian seems much more relaxed and forthcoming, I think he finally realises that being open and honest about his feelings is not a weakness and will only make us stronger as a couple.

I call my dad for a chat, which is brief and I get the impression he is watching the tv, I am delighted when he tells me that he has been told that his progress has been so good he will be discharged in time for thanksgiving. I realise that this year will be the first year I won't be spending thanksgiving with my dad and I feel suddenly sad, Christian notices my demeanour change and frowns. I hang up and he grasps my hand pulling me close.

"What's wrong baby?" he asks

I shake my head, "My dad said he should be discharged in time for Thanksgiving, and I won't be in Seattle to spend it with him, it will be the first year I haven't spent thanksgiving with my father and it feels like the end of an era".

Christian looks at me carefully, "I'm sure we can work something out" he says and strokes my back lovingly.

"What about your family?" I ask

Christian shakes his head, "My parents are going to their place in Montana, and Elliot is spending Thanksgiving with Kate and the Kavanaghs, I have no idea what Mia is doing, she will probably go with my parents".

"What did you do previous years?" I ask, genuinely curious as to how he spent his time over this holiday.

He looks down and shakes his head, "I didn't celebrate it, I spent my time the time at the office working, it was just another day for me, and obviously because it is a weekday my sub wouldn't be part of the equation either so I just carried on as normal. Christmas was much the same and my sub would be with her family that day. I always went for Christmas lunch with my parents but left as soon as I possibly could.

I stare at him, shocked that he dismissed so completely two of the most family orientated times of the year, he looks at me and smiles.

"But this year is going to be different" he says and kisses me.

**Song: Thunder: Love Walked In**


	56. Chapter 56

CHAPTER 56

_TWO MONTHS LATER, The day before Thanksgiving..._

It is stupid o clock in the early hours of the morning and I sigh as I look at the pregnancy test in my hand. It's negative, just like last month. I open the bathroom door and face Christian who is looking at me expectantly. I shake my head sadly. His eyes soften and he pulls me into his arms.

"Never mind baby" he says.

I know its not the end of the world, but considering how I managed to get pregnant before when I was on birth control, I assumed not actually doing anything to prevent pregnancy would make it a foregone conclusion.

"Are you ready to leave for New York?" Christian asks, changing the subject.

I nod; I am looking forward to this trip (even though it means getting up at a stupid hour to leave so we arrive in New York at a reasonable time to spend near enough a whole day there). The last couple of months have been very productive at Cross Publishing and I am eager to discuss it with Gideon in person. I have signed three authors and one in particular has been very successful, within days of his debut novel going on sale, Marcus Kline has made it into the best sellers list, writing under the pen name Thomas Williamson his book about the backstage antics of a fictional rock band is riveting. The lead singer's relationship with a young groupie who suddenly leaves him and his longing to discover where she has gone only to discover she is now seeing the owner of his record label is compelling reading. Marcus is an interesting character very open and warm it is a pleasure to work with him. I wish the same could be said for my other two, Temperamental Artistic Temperament doesn't begin to describe the second of the three. Janice Peebles is a diva and is rapidly making me regret signing her, her entire life is one drama and she is constantly missing deadlines and I am seriously getting to the point of terminating her contract. I am going to discuss her with Gideon while I am in New York. The third author is a strange man, David Grange, a young author and very intense young man. Very quiet and reserved. I like him but Christian can't stand him, he brings out all Christian's insecurities and despite me saying I don't find him attractive he is completely jealous of him.

"Ana are you listening to me?" I am pulled from my thoughts and I gaze up at Christian.

"Sorry what did you say?" I ask going red with embarrassment.

"I said is everything packed?" he says irritably

"Yes it is Gail and I did it yesterday" I say

He nods, "You are miles away baby, don't let that negative test upset you" he says gently and strokes his hand through my hair.

"I won't" I say and I press a small kiss to his lips. Christian pulls me closer and deepens the kiss. I push away from him.

"We don't have time for that, if we have to leave soon" I say

Christian pouts at me and I laugh, "Wait till we are on the plane" I say and pat his cheek.

When we land in New York we are both thoroughly well fucked. I see Eva and Gideon waiting for us and as we walk towards them I see Eva looking at me in a strange way and she isn't as friendly as normal.

"Is everything ok?" I ask her

"We need to talk" she says in a clipped tone.

I glance at Gideon who smiles at me and wraps his arm around me, "Don't worry about it it's not your fault" he says as he presses a kiss to my forehead.

"Ok what have I done?" I ask feeling worried now.

We climb into Gideon's car and Eva turns to me. "What is the real name of your new author the one who wrote Golden Girl?" She asks with no preamble.

"Erm... Marcus, Marcus Kline" I say warily.

Eva sighs "and there we go" she says bitterly.

"Eva what have I done exactly?" I ask

"Marcus Kline is the younger brother of Brett Kline, the lead singer of Captive Heart...now called Six Ninths, and that story is based on my fuck buddy relationship with Brett. Brett is the Daniel of the story, and I am Denise, and obviously the owner of the record label is Gideon". Eva says.

My mouth drops open "Oh my god I had no idea, I am so sorry Eva" I say

"Its just...It has highlighted a really wild period of my life that I am not proud off, I went totally off the rails for a time and Brett was part of that time I was messed up and self destructing from what had happened to me" she says sadly.

I lean forward and grasp her hand. "I am so sorry Eva, tell me how I can make this right?" I say.

Gideon glances at us through the rear view mirror, "Don't stress about this Ana, you weren't to know, we will discuss this later and go through the contract you have offered him and see if we can do anything". He says

I smile, "Actually, I only gave him a single book deal as I am never prepared to offer any more on a brand new un tried author and I always make sure we have a get out clause, to cancel that contract, which I need to talk to you about regarding another author I have signed who is pissing me off severely".

Gideon smiles at me "You are a very smart woman Ana we will discuss this later" he says

I turn to Eva, "I will make this right" I say firmly, and she smiles at me.

"I'm not angry with you Ana, you weren't to know, I'm sorry if I was off with you when you arrived. It was just seeing myself in print like that and seeing what I was like at that time through someone else's eyes it was uncomfortable" she says.

I nod at her. Christian breaks the silence which has settled upon us.

"So have you two set the date yet?" he asks

"Aah yes I wanted to talk to you about that" Gideon replies, "we want a Christmas wedding and we are supposed to be coming to you for Christmas we want just family and close friends, pretty much like what you had. I was wondering if you knew of anywhere in Seattle we could use?" he asks.

Christian smiles widely, "how about our new home on the sound, you can have your wedding there, it will be secure, private and the way Elliot is going his team are well ahead of schedule and they are on the final stages now of the renovation, he has reviewed his completion date to be the end of next week. We are moving in when we return from New York and it would be our honour to host your wedding". He glances at me and I see him realise he should have run this past me first, but I also think this is an excellent idea, so I just nod and smile at him".

"Thank you Christian, that is a wonderful idea, what do you think Eva?" Gideon says.

"I love it!" she says firmly.

Gideon and Eva drive us to our apartment and then head off to work, as it is a work day. Christian and I are left to our own devices. I am meeting Gideon later at Cross Publishing (New York) later this afternoon to update him on the Washington office and try and sort out mess with Marcus.

"What do you want to do baby?" Christian asks

"I'd like to take some time to prepare for my meeting with Gideon" I say carefully, I know Christian wanted for us to spend time together. But he nods in understanding.

"No problem, don't worry about that author, perhaps you should do background checks on prospective authors?" he says.

I shake my head, "what good would that do? All it would have brought up in this case was his brother was Brett Kline lead singer of a band, I have never heard of, it wouldn't have brought up his brothers sex life" I say.

"No, but it could have brought up the fact his brother's band is signed by Gideon's record company", he says thoughtfully, I nod, but I don't want to go down that route so I don't say anything. As I am thinking about authors my phone rings.

"Ana Grey" I say as I answer it.

I hear the polite quiet voice of David Grange, "Ana, how are you, I was wondering if I could arrange a meeting with you to discuss my progress with my novel?" he says.

"Hi David, no problem, call the office and speak to my assistant, and she will arrange something with you, I am in New York at the moment, but we can arrange something for when I return after Thanksgiving" I say.

"That would be wonderful, thank you so much" he says

"No problem, talk to you soon David" I say

"Goodbye Ana" he says

"Bye" I reply and kill the call.

"Who was that?" I turn and see Christian staring at me.

I sigh, "Christian why are you asking, you know exactly who it was, and stop being so jealous" I say.

"I just don't like him" Christian says stubbornly

I stand up walk towards him and wrap my arms around his neck. "I know you don't but please Christian, don't ruin this for me, it seems he is the only new author will have left if I have to let Marcus and Janice go".

Christian sighs. "I'm sorry Ana, I just don't like him" he says again. "How come he has your cell phone number?" he asks. I pull out the phone and show it to him.

"It's my work cell, which Gideon provides for all his editors not my personal one. All my authors have this number" I say.

Christian nods but doesn't look convinced.

After a light lunch I head off to The Crossfire and my meeting with Gideon, as I enter the building someone calls my name.

"Excuse me, are you Anastasia Grey?" I turn and Luke immediately stiffens, taking a protective stance at the side of me.

"Who is asking?" I say looking at the tall brunette in front of me.

The woman smiles and holds out a perfectly manicured hand to me, "Please forgive me, my name is Corrine Giroux" she says. My mind immediately goes back to the conversation in the car when Gideon called us to tell us who had been responsible for posting Nathan Barkers bail, and her history with Gideon. I try and keep my face neutral and play dumb.

"Ok, and you are?" I say

She stares at me, thrown for a moment, and speaks, "I'm an old friend of Gideon's I am in town but he is apparently too busy to see me, and yet here you are a close friend of his heading into the Crossfire to his office" she cocks her head to one side as she says this. I turn fully to face her and I perceive Luke getting ready to restrain me, I give her a cold stare.

"Oh you are _that_ Corrine, Gideon's ex fiancé, the one who broke off the engagement ran off to France with some guy, realised Gideon wasn't going to come running after you and beg you to come back, so you married that poor unsuspecting French guy and inevitably your marriage fell apart because you didn't love him, but then again you didn't really love Gideon either, because you didn't really know him and you never even spent a full night with him. So you returned to New York and found out he was with Eva and so you plotted to get his attention and to do this you decided to bail a convicted rapist who cornered Eva and myself at a club and who sexually abused me, and then tried to shoot Gideon – the man who you profess to love, now you are having a tantrum because I am here in the Crossfire with an appointment for a meeting with Gideon, to bring him up to speed on the activity at Cross Publishing (Washington) where I am employed as an editor" I stop and stare at her, her mouth hangs open but she quickly composes herself.

"Do you always travel to New York in person to update him?" she says sarcastically.

"Durr, no" I say rudely "But on this occasion I decided arrange the meeting as I am visiting New York with my husband and we are spending Thanksgiving here with Gideon and his fiancé, not that that or anything I do is any of your damn business". I stop as I see her take a step back, her hand clutches her throat and I realise I have gone too far, shit hasn't Gideon announced the engagement yet. I hold myself together and continue, "So if you will excuse me you are going to make me late for my business appointment with Gideon, good day to you MRS Giroux" I spin on my heel and head towards the elevator, as soon as we are out of sight I call Gideon and tell him what I have done, to my relief he roars with laughter.

"Oh god Ana you are priceless!" he says

"So you are not angry with me" I say

"Not at all ever since the engagement was announced she has been trying to get to speak to me and I am blocking her calls and refusing to see her".

I sigh with relief.

"Where are you now Ana?" Gideon asks, just as he says this the elevator pings and the doors open.

"I am just exiting the elevator now, and waiting to be buzzed into Cross Industries" I say. At that moment I am buzzed in and as I walk to the reception desk I see Gideon striding towards me, he grasps me and pulls me into a hug and kisses my cheek, and without a word leads me away to his office.


	57. Chapter 57

CHAPTER 57

"Ok Ana, lets get started" Gideon says as he closes his office door, he gestures to a seat on the large plush sofa and I sit arranging my files in front of me on the small table.

"So how is business in Seattle?" he says smiling at me as he sits next to me and casually crosses his legs.

"It's very good, I have retained Boyce who came with me from SIP and he looks set to hit the best sellers with his novel, of the other authors I brought with me from SIP we have had three top ten's and all the others have charted in the top twenty. But then the not so good news is the new authors, the three new ones I have signed since arriving at Cross Publishing have not exactly done wonders, although it is early days, but I am seriously considering terminating Janice Peebles, she is the biggest drama queen, she has consistently missed all her deadlines and her life is one long drama I have warned her verbally and I have given her two written warnings, so I just wanted to run it past you before I took the final step" I look at Gideon and he nods, he is reading my report on her which lists everything that has happened.

"I agree, get rid, we don't need that sort thing" he says firmly.

I nod and make a note of what I have to do. I glance up again and he has lifted the file on Thomas Williamson aka. Marcus Kline, I blush and shift uncomfortably in my seat.

"I had no idea I am so sorry about this" I start, but Gideon shakes his head.

"No Ana it was a business decision and a good one considering how well the book has sold. Considering the story is out there and selling, to terminate now would be counterproductive and damaging drawing more attention to the protagonists of the story. When you return to Seattle I suggest you set up a conference call with me and we can confront him to find out his angle there is no way he could have not known who you worked for, I mean the name Cross Publishing sort of gives it away, I need to know what he is trying to do, whether it is an attempt for his brother to gain access to Eva or something else but that is what I propose and we can take it from there, but for the time being leave things alone". I nod again and continue to make notes.

Gideon picks up the third file and I smile, Gideon catches my look and looks at me questioningly.

"That is David Grange and he is a dark horse I think, he brought me a manuscript which was the very bones of an idea and yet it intrigued me, he intrigued me. He is a very intense and quiet man, painfully shy and so polite I like him, as i say I find him intriguing but Christian can't stand him. For some reason he has taken an intense dislike to him and gets so jealous every time he calls or his name is even mentioned, he is totally irrational about it, he called me wanting to meet with me to discuss the progress of his book, Christian was there and he over reacted asking why he had my cell phone number and I had to point out it was my work cell which you supplied me with". I stop and shake my head at the memory.

Gideon studies me and he is clearly thinking things through, "So he is a gut feeling, you believe he can produce something big and ultimately sellable?"

I nod enthusiastically, "I do I can't explain it there is something, I can't put my finger on it but there is something" I say lamely.

Gideon smiles, "Well that's good enough for me for the time being, most of my early business successes were based on a gut feeling" he says as he throws the file onto the table. "Now Corrine...I'm sorry you had to deal with her, I am refusing to see her or speak to her and she is hanging around like a bad smell". He stops and frowns "She is really irritating me to be honest, i have given her no indication that I want her and yet she is practically stalking me".

I shrug, "she loves you" I say simply

Gideon shakes his head, "How, she ended it with me, and married someone else?" he looks totally confused.

I smile, "You have no idea do you, you are so like Christian, you have no idea how easy you are to love, but you think you are worthless, having said that remember how I explained about her, she is trying to manipulate you and you need to nip it in the bud or she will become a problem for you and Eva".

Gideon nods at me. "So tomorrow, are you and Christian looking forward to it?" he asks changing the subject.

I nod, I think about Ray but don't say anything. "Yes I am" I say cheerfully, "and I know Christian is he never celebrated Thanksgiving before, since he has been an adult obviously, he just worked through, so this is the first time he will have observed it can you believe that?" I say.

Gideon puts his head down, "Yes I can Ana, because I was exactly the same, this will be the first Thanksgiving I have celebrated since I was a child and I am looking forward to it immensely, I have invited my sister Ireland, I hope you don't mind, she is seventeen years old, we have been estranged for years because of what happened and how I left home, I didn't go home so she suffered, Eva has encouraged me to make an effort with her and get to know her and we are quite close now...she means the world to me, apart from Eva, you and Christian she is the only family I have.

I stare at him, I never thought he considered us family, good friends yes but family, I feel the urge to go and hug him so I do.

"Oh Gideon, you know you are such a good man, you deserve the best of everything" I kiss his head gently. He stands and hugs me tightly.

"It's all thanks to you I am in this good place now with Eva, talking with you and Christian and sharing...everything...you know, and listening to what you and Christian also went through, I believe we have this bond, a pretty fucked up one admittedly but a bond all the same".

I nod, "Yeah, and Eva, her story was pretty horrific, with Nathan"

Gideon nods. "I really love her, there is nothing I wouldn't do for her" he says

"I know, you have proved that" I say quietly

_The Next Morning..._

"Ana are you ready?" I hear Christian yell as I come out of the bathroom

"Yes dear" I say as I pick up my purse and walk out to meet him, I am still feeling a little strange not having Thanksgiving with Ray but he called me this morning and wished me a happy thanksgiving and he told me we would meet up soon.

"Are we walking to Gideon's apartment?" I ask looking at Christian hopefully.

"If you want to baby" he says with a grin.

He holds out his hand to me and I take it as we leave the apartment. We walk the short distance to Gideon's penthouse apartment and when we arrive we head straight up.

As the elevator doors open Gideon and Eva are both waiting for us, Eva hugs me and then Christian, she is practically bouncing with excitement, as we head inside.

We walk into the beautiful family room and I stop dead, sitting on the sofa in front of me is Ray, I look at Gideon and Christian who are both grinning inanely at me.

"Daddy!" I gasp, Ray stands up and holds his arms open to me and I walk into them.

"Hey Annie, I got a call from Gideon inviting to his fancy home to spend thanksgiving with you all, apparently that husband of yours and Gideon cooked it all up between them, Christian sent his plane for me and here I am!" I can tell Ray is overwhelmed by the fact he was in Seattle and then in New York in the blink of an eye and with so little effort, the way Gideon and Christian operate is enough to make anyone feel overwhelmed.

"I'm just so happy you are here" I say, and then I frown, "You rang me to wish me happy thanksgiving, when you were here!" I say

Ray laughs, "Yeah, it was a good feeling pulling the wool over your eyes like that!" he says.

I turn to Gideon and hug him tightly, thanking him for inviting Ray and then to my husband who is staring at me with such love in his eyes I feel my breath catch. I walk into his waiting arms and hold him tightly.

"Thank you" I whisper to him.

"I don't ever want you to feel you have to choose between me and Ray, he is as much my family now as you are".

I feel tears starting to form but I blink to stop them from falling. Our attention is drawn to the front door, which is opening. A young girl with long black hair and blue eyes just like Gideon is standing there looking nervous, pushing a key into her purse.

"Ireland" Gideon says warmly and walks towards her. He puts his arm around her shoulder and leads her forward. "Everyone this is my baby sister Ireland Vidal, Ireland these are my good friends, Christian and Ana Grey from Seattle, and this is Ray Steele Ana's father". Ireland looks around and smiles politely.

"Hi" she says quietly. She glances up at Gideon, "Mom said to say happy thanksgiving to you and she hopes you will call her at some point".

I see Gideon stiffen and his face closes down at these words, Ireland sees it too and shakes her head sadly.

"Ireland I have been looking forward to meeting you" I say and step forward to break the uncomfortable silence which has settled on the room. Ireland is clearly oblivious to the reasons why Gideon is estranged from his mother and she doesn't understand why Gideon is refusing to contact her.

She smiles widely at me, "I've heard so much about you and Mr Grey from Gideon and Eva". She says. She looks at Christian and I see that familiar widening of the eyes and reaction every woman gets when they look at my too handsome for his own good husband. She steps forward and offers her hand to Christian. "I'm so pleased to meet you Mr Grey" she says.

Christian accepts the handshake and grins at her, "Please call me Christian" he says warmly, and kisses her politely on the cheek, I see her flush and she giggles, it seems Ireland has a crush on my husband.

Eva grasps her hand and walks towards Ray, "Ireland, this is Ana's dad Ray, he is a very wise man who will tell it to you straight" Ireland smiles shyly at my dad and whispers a nervous hello and Ray nods and smiles kindly at her.

"Pleased to meet you" he says.

"Ok what does everyone want to drink?" Gideon says to everyone.

I sit and watch the interaction going on between everyone, I am feeling completely stuffed it has been the best thanksgiving ever, it is normally just Ray and I and it was always a simple day for us, nothing compared to the scale of what we have just encountered. I watch my husband in his element laughing and joking with Gideon they have been constantly bantering and trying to outdo each other all day, it's a joy to see them both so relaxed and happy. I see Eva is watching Gideon, and she glances at me and smiles and I know she is thinking the same thing as I am. I am watching Ray with Ireland, he is talking easily with her and it appears she is quite taken with him, as she has gravitated towards him at every possible opportunity. Talk inevitably veers towards the wedding and Christian tells Gideon that Elliot has excelled himself and the house is now done. Eva and Gideon excitedly tell us what they are hoping to have and ask us if that is ok, Christian simply waves his hand dismissively and tells them to consider it done.

The plan appears to be that I will fly out to New York for my dress fitting on the 18th December and returning with Gideon and Eva when they fly in on 20th December with Ireland, and the other guests will be flown to Seattle the day before the wedding on the 22nd December, 23rd is the wedding day and then the guests are being flown home on 24th to get them to their own Christmas celebrations back in New York. Gideon, Eva and Ireland are spending Christmas day with us and then flying out on the 26th to their honeymoon destination which Gideon is keeping a secret. It sounds as though it has all been planned with military precision, but in reality there isn't many people who will be there. Gideon has insisted he wants a wedding like ours, just family and close friends. On Eva's side there will be her mother and step father from New York, and her father is being flown in from California, Gideon is inviting Ireland of course, Angus and Arnoldo Ricci.

"Are you not inviting your parents Gideon?" I ask carefully.

Gideon shakes his head, "No, my mother and Eva don't get along, she has never accepted she was wrong and Eva has made it crystal clear to her she was wrong in her actions, I refuse to chose between Eva and my mother, and so taking everything into consideration there is no way I would want my mother at my wedding" he stops and glances at Ireland who is listening to what he says. Ireland looks sad and puts her head down.

I stand up "Gideon lets go and get some more drinks" I say, Gideon smiles and stands he knows I want to talk to him privately, Eva nods at me, we have been talking about his refusal to have his mother at the wedding and she feels responsible for the situation with her actions, she told me of the blazing row she had had with his mother when she had basically called her a bad mother for not believing Gideon and supporting him.

We walk into the kitchen and I turn to face him, he is standing his arms folded and he has an amused look on his face.

"Ok Ana spit it out" he says

I raise my eyebrows and look him straight in the eye.

"Gideon, did you see Ireland's reaction when you said those things about your mother? You forget she is her mother as well, and I know you don't want Ireland to know about what happened to you but she is confused she feels stuck in the middle between you and your mother and its not right for a seventeen year old girl to be in that position".

"I know its not fucking right but what do you expect me to do Ana, tell her oh sorry Ireland the reason mom and I don't talk is because I was raped by a shrink as a kid, I told mom and she didn't believe me" we glare at each other until a small voice interrupts.

"Yes Gideon, you should have told me I'm your sister" we both spin around and face the door where Ireland is standing staring at Gideon.

"Shit" I mutter, I watch as all the colour drains from Gideon's face and he grips the work surface.

"Ana could you leave me to speak with my brother please" she says

I nod and walk past her as I do so she reaches for me and squeezes my arm, I reach out with my other hand and rub her shoulder.

Eva is beside herself when she realises what's happened it takes me and Christian to calm her down and not go barging in to the kitchen. Ray is watching the events with a bemused look on his face.

"Eva let them talk, they need this" I say to her, she nods at me and sits down.

"I feel it is all my fault if I hadn't come into his life and got him to make contact with Ireland and bring her back into his life and then if I hadn't had that argument with his mother none of this would have happened, and now I have spoilt thanksgiving for everyone".

Ray leans forward and pats her arm. "Listen Eva, I have no idea of the ins and outs of this, and I don't want to its not any of my business, but any fool can see how much Gideon loves you, you two are made for each other, you remind me of my Annie and Christian the way you two are with each other".

Eva smiles "thanks Ray you are a good man, I can see why Ana is such a good person now, she had you as a role model".

Ray blushes with embarrassment and nods.

We wait and eventually after what seems like a lifetime, Gideon and Ireland emerge from the kitchen, Gideon has his arm around Irelands shoulder and it is obvious they have both been crying.


	58. Chapter 58

CHAPTER 58

After Gideon and Ireland return, nobody knows what to say, eventually Ray breaks the silence when he stands up, "I'll head back to your apartment Christian if its ok with you", he says.

"Ray, please don't go" Gideon says urgently and steps forward grasping his arm, Ray looks carefully at Gideon.

"Look I don't want to interfere and it seems like there is some serious stuff going down here". Ray says.

"Actually Ray I have a question?" Gideon says, he glances at me looking for permission and I think I know what he is going to ask, I give a slight nod to indicate to him I am ok with whatever he is going to ask.

Gideon sits down and gestures for Ray to sit down beside him and he leans forward resting his elbows on his thighs and clasps his hands together. My dad sighs and sits down waiting.

"Ray I know about what happened to Ana, when...when she told you did you believe her instantly or did you need proof?"

Ray stares at Gideon as if he has been punched in the gut, "Wow, that's not something I had ever expected to be asked, erm.." he glances around the room uncomfortably.

I feel sorry for my dad I know he doesn't want to answer so I try and help him, "It's ok daddy, we all know each others secrets, except for Ireland but I am happy for her to know if it helps her relationship with Gideon" I stop. Ireland is staring at me, "its ok Ireland, it was nowhere near as bad as what happened to your brother, and I am absolutely fine now" I say with a smile.

Ray looks at Gideon, "Son, I have no idea what has happened to you and believe me I don't want to know, but I am guessing you have been abused ...sexually...in some way, am I right?" Gideon nods.

Ray looks like he is going to be sick, he shakes his head and closes his eyes briefly before opening them and looking straight at Gideon. "Listen to me, it wasn't your fault, it was the sick bastard whoever they were who did it to you, in answer to your question, of course I believed Annie, and I got her out of there as quickly as I could, proof didn't come into it".

Gideon nods, he turns to Ireland, "See, Ray didn't need any proof, he unconditionally believed Ana, mom wanted proof and then she didn't get it because that bastard lied to protect his brother in law, so she believed him instead of her own son". Gideon drops his head and covers it with his arms, in an instant Eva is beside him and Christian is up and placing his hand on Gideon's shoulder and squeezing it gently.

"Gideon, I believe you baby, always remember that I. Believe. You!" Eva says desperately trying to get him to look at her, Ireland moves and squeezes herself in between Gideon and Ray, as she sits beside Gideon she pulls one of his arms gently and places her small hand in his and strokes his hand, tears are pouring down her cheeks.

"Gideon, I believe you too" she says quietly.

Ray stands and places his hand on Gideon's shoulder, "Gideon listen to me, for what its worth, you have been denied justice and the person who you should have been able to trust to look after you obviously didn't I can't comment on that but look around you son, you have Eva she loves the bones of you, and look at your sister here, she loves you and she believes you too, and its clear Annie and Christian know all about this and they believe you and care about you, concentrate on the love you have in this room for you, you have it in spades right here - love and belief in you".

Gideon looks up and I see him look around the room at the anxious faces around him.

"Gideon, thank you for sharing this with me, I won't tell anyone about it" Ireland says quietly still clinging on to his hand, she turns to me, "I won't ever say anything about you either Ana" she says firmly, she turns back to Gideon, "I believe you Gideon...erm does dad know about what happened?" she asks.

Gideon shrugs, "I have no idea, I would assume so" he says.

"What about Christopher?" she asks, Gideon immediately stiffens and his face turns stony.

"Christopher lied to our mother and said nothing had gone on even though he had heard me begging to be left alone when I was being assaulted" he says bitterly.

Ireland gasps and her hand shoots to her mouth, "Oh my god, I knew he had issues with you and was jealous but how could he be so cruel?" she says.

Gideon turns to her and shrugs , "That's Christopher, but I don't want to ruin your relationship with him, i know you two are close and I don't want to come between you"

Ireland shakes her head adamantly, "No way Gideon you are not to blame for any of this you are the victim here" I see the fire in Ireland's eyes and the determination on her face.

Gideon nods and takes a deep breath, and stands up, "Look this is thanksgiving, the first one I have celebrated since I was a child, and here I am ruining it, come on lets change the subject here" he says.

Ireland stands up and wraps her arms around his waist, "happy thanksgiving Gideon, and thank you for sharing with me, I understand now and I won't talk about it again or bug you to contact mom" Gideon wraps his arms around her and kisses her head.

"Happy thanksgiving Ireland" he says.

The atmosphere is soon restored and the rest of the day is spent joking and laughing and playing corny games. We split into teams and play charades and the sight of Christian and Gideon slowly getting more and more drunk trying desperately to mime some of the titles is hysterical, and Eva, Ireland and I cannot breathe for laughing so hard.

Ray joins in and as well and I watch as both Gideon and Ireland are talking freely with him. Eventually though we decide to call it a night, both Christian and Gideon are more than a little worse for wear, Ireland is staying with Gideon and Ray is staying with us. We walk the short distance back to the apartment and Ray and I manage to sober Christian up enough to get him home. Ray turns to Christian when we are inside.

"Thank you for fetching me son, I was a little worried I'd feel out of place, with two billionaires but you know I have really enjoyed myself today, it's been really good."

Christian waves his hand, "don't mention it Ray" he slurs.

I roll my eyes, "Come on Christian lets get you to bed, I think you have had far too much to drink" I say as I pull him gently towards our bedroom. I turn to my dad, "Thank you for coming dad, I didn't know anything about it, but when Gideon and Christian get together there is no telling what they get up to!"

Ray walks forward and hugs me, "Goodnight Annie, you have a good man as a husband, even if he is totally off his face at this moment" he glances at Christian swaying slightly, "Do you need any help getting him into bed, he's a big guy for you to manage alone?" he asks.

I nod, "Perhaps if you just help me get him into bed and I can take it from there" I say gratefully.

Between us Ray and I coax Christian into bed and as soon as his head hits the pillow he passes out and starts snoring loudly.

"He will have a sore head in the morning" Ray says looking down at him.

I grin, "yes he will" I say, "Thanks daddy, I'll take it from here you get off to bed" i say

Ray kisses my cheek and disappears to his own room.

The next morning I am making breakfast and Ray is sitting at the table sipping some coffee when Christian wanders in looking like death. I hand him a mug of coffee and he grunts and sits down at the table beside Ray.

Ray smiles and shakes his head and pushes a bottle of painkillers towards him, without a word. Christian takes them and takes some and takes a gulp of coffee.

"Thanks" he mutters he glances at Ray, and looks a little sheepish.

"Erm, I apologise if I did or said anything inappropriate last night, its been a while since I got myself in that sort of state" he says.

Ray grins and waves his hand, "Well I didn't expect to have to put my son in law to bed last night" he says calmly. I see Christian's face blanche and he starts apologising profusely.

Ray laughs, "Relax, you didn't do or say anything inappropriate and you passed out pretty much as soon as you hit the bed, I just helped Annie get you there and she did the rest".

"Well, thank you sir" Christian says quietly.

I place an omelette in front of Christian and he goes white and looks like he is going to throw up.

"Thanks baby" he mutters as he stares at the plate.


	59. Chapter 59

CHAPTER 59

Christian and I are spending a long weekend in New York and on the Friday after driving Ray to the airport and seeing him off back to Montesano we head to the Crossfire to drop in on Gideon and Eva, I had called Eva and she told me that Gideon was feeling pretty horrendous this morning like Christian and that she and Ireland had found it hysterical watching him suffering as he got ready for work.

We are waved straight up to the Crossfire offices and buzzed through, as we reach Gideon's office Scott smiles and raises from his seat.

"Mr Grey, Mrs Grey, good to see you, Mr Cross is expecting you, you can go straight in" he says pointing towards the door. I glance up and see Gideon pacing and talking, he looks towards us and smiles and beckons us in.

"Ok, don't worry Ireland...yes...of course you can...ok, bye...yes I love you too" he pulls the Bluetooth receiver from his ear and throws it on the table.

"How are you feeling today?" I ask innocently.

Gideon shakes his head and grins, he turns to Christian and points accusingly at him, "You are a bad influence on me Grey, you and your brother, the only times I have woken up feeling like I have been hit by a bus are when I have been drinking with you two".

Christian laughs, "Well if its any consolation I felt just as rough this morning, and I got no sympathy from my wife" he says

Gideon shakes his head, "No Eva was pretty harsh as well, she told me as it was self inflicted she had no sympathy with me".

"Not on is it?!" Christian says, taking a shot look at me, I look back and raise my eyebrows at him.

As we are talking the office door opens and Eva arrives, Gideon immediately turns to her and takes her in his arms and kisses her softly on the lips.

"Hi" she says looking towards us, "Are we ready then?" she continues, looking up at Gideon.

"Sure" he replies and grabs his jacket, "Eva only gets an hour so it will be a quick lunch nearby" he explains.

"Fine" Christian replies easily.

We head downstairs and Angus is waiting for us outside at the kerb. As we move to get into the Bentley, I hear a voice call my name.

"Ana, Ana is that you?" I stop and look around, I feel Christian freeze against me.

"Oh hi" I say in surprise, seeing the tall figure in front of me.

I turn to Gideon and Eva, "Gideon, Eva this is one of my authors David Grange, David, this is Gideon Cross and Eva Trammel, you know my husband Christian"

"Pleased to meet you" he says quietly, I see him looking at Gideon and Gideon seems to be scrutinising him closely as well and then David turns to Christian, "Mr Grey, nice to see you again" he says offering his hand.

Christian accepts but says nothing just giving him a curt nod.

"What brings you to New York?" I ask

"I'm visiting family, my mother and my aunt live here so I came to visit them for thanksgiving, I called the office and arranged a meeting to go over my novel as you suggested. Anyway, I won't keep you, it was nice meeting you" he says looking at Gideon and Eva again. "Goodbye Ana, Mr Grey, Mr Cross, Miss Trammell" he says and with that he is gone.

"Pleasant young man" Gideon says, he looks at Christian who says nothing, but his impassive look tells me he is controlling himself, as he is as stiff as a ramrod.

After a very enjoyable lunch Gideon and Eva head back to the Crossfire and Christian takes me back to the apartment. He is still off after our encounter with David, and I decide I want to get to the bottom of this once and for all.

"Christian, what is wrong with you?" I ask when we get back inside.

"Nothing, kiss me" he says grabbing me to him.

I push him away, "Christian, you have to stop this, I don't find David Grange remotely interesting or attractive, he is an author I work with nothing more, why are you so damn insecure about him?"

Christian sighs and shakes his head, "I don't know , there is something about him which makes me nervous, he gives off a bad vibe and I don't want you working with him too closely" he looks at me and I can see he is as confused about his violent reaction to David as I am"

"Ok, Christian, one, when I meet with him, I am never alone, I always have Luke with me, second, I have to work with him, he is one of my authors, it's my job, and finally three I can take care of myself, if you think that he is going to hurt me it's not going to happen, I have Luke with me and I capable of defending myself" I wrap my arms around Christians neck and look into his eyes.

"I know, it's irrational, but I go on gut instinct to people and I just don't like him" he says, "please be careful when you are dealing with him" he says and kisses me.

As he does this I grip his head and the kiss deepens and his hands move down my back and he lifts me against him, I wrap my legs around his waist and he carries me to the bedroom. Within moments we are both naked and Christian is running his hands all over me.

As his mouth moves to my breast, I reach down between us and grasp him, he moans and thrusts into my hand, I grip him and stroke him, in a moment Christian pulls me down in between his legs.

"Suck me baby" he demands, I grin and take him in my mouth, the sigh he emits makes me suck harder, I lick the sensitive underside and the crown and he pulls my head on to him.

"Suck me harder" he says, I glance up and see he has his eyes closed and he has his head thrown back enjoying what I am doing to him.

"Fuck I'm going to come" he says suddenly, he tries to pull me off but I resist and keep sucking harder, I feel him pulsating into my mouth and the warm salty fluid pours down my throat and I swallow reflexively and then lick him clean.

"Did you enjoy that" I say as I let him go.

"Baby...I...wow" he stammers, pulling himself together he looks at me with a glint in his eye, and grabbing me he throws me back on the bed and buries his head between my legs, I know he is going to show no mercy after my amorous attack on him.

After about two hours and several orgasms we are lying on the bed totally spent.

"I love you Ana, so fucking much it hurts" Christian says suddenly.

I turn and look at him, "ditto" I reply with a grin.

The rest of the weekend follows pretty much in the same vane lots of sex, and socialising with Gideon and Eva, we run into David again and he tells us he is on his way to the airport to fly back to Seattle. I see Gideon staring hard at him as he talks to us. After he is gone I ask Gideon what the problem is. He tells me he is trying to place him as he has the feeling he knows him from somewhere and that he looks familiar but he can't think where he knows him from and can't place him. The encounter is soon forgotten and we spend our final hours in New York enjoying ourselves with our friends.

After leaving New York late Sunday evening, I spend a lot of the flight fast asleep, with all the going out and socialising with Gideon and Eva and the large amount of sex when we were alone in the apartment I haven't had time to rest and I am absolutely shattered. I crash on the bed and am out for the count until I rouse with Christian gently waking me.

"Come on baby we are about to land" he says gently as he pulls me up into his arms. I moan sleepily and he carries me to the seat and fastens me in so we can land. I am in and out of consciousness and I perceive being carried from the plane to the car and then arriving back at Escala and being carried to bed, I don't say anything other than a handful of moans and before I know it I am fast asleep again. The next thing I know Christian is waking me again and the sun is pouring through the window.

"What time is it?" I ask groggily

"Nearly 7:30, time to get up sleepy head!" he says grinning at me.

I feel so warm and comfortable I resist having to get up and pull the quilt over my head, the next Thing I know Christian has crawled in the bed with me and is gently caressing my breast and pushing his stiff cock into my hip. I reach back and grasp it.

"Hmm what do we have here?" I mutter playfully

I hear him gasp and then he thrusts his hips as I grip him, before we know it we are lost in each other again and I am recovering from an early morning orgasm.


	60. Chapter 60

CHAPTER 60

I am sitting in my office working hard and there is a tap at my door, "Come in" I call

I look up and see Luke standing there looking at me. "What is it Luke?" I ask

"Marcus Kline is here to see you ma'am" he says.

"Oh right, yes I was expecting him, I have a conference room set up ready for the call with Gideon" I stand and head out to the small reception.

"Marcus, thank you for coming in at such short notice. I have a conference call set up with Mr Cross in New York, as he wants to meet you" I say.

I see the uncomfortable look slide across his face. I wonder what it was that made him do what he has done; I don't feel any compassion towards him as he made me feel so bad for taking him on and publishing a novel which is basically the sordid past of Eva, which she wanted to escape from. I take a long hard look at him as we walk into the conference room and I set up the screens on the laptops so we can both be seen on Gideon's laptop when he logs on, at this moment it is a blank screen.

"Erm, Ana, there is something that you should be aware of before we proceed with this call" Marcus says uncomfortably.

I turn and look at him, "What would that be?" I ask

"Erm." He stammers

"Let me help you, the novel you wrote was about Eva Trammell and your brother Brett, Eva Trammell is Gideon's fiancé and you came to me to publish a book which could potentially embarrass Gideon and Eva, is that what you wanted to tell me?" I say glaring at him, I see Gideon has logged on and heard every word I have just said and he is grinning widely at me, I see Eva appear beside him and she smiles at me.

"Look at your screen" I say to Marcus, he looks down at the laptop in front of him and his face falls when he sees Gideon and Eva there.

"Hello Marc" Eva says in a clipped tone.

"Eva good to see you again, you are looking well" Marcus says lamely.

"Why did you do it Marcus, does Brett know?" Eva asks

"No he has no idea, which is why I used the pen name Thomas Williamson, so he wouldn't find out" he says.

"Then why? You don't want to hurt your brother but what about me, what do you think this has done to me, not to mention to Gideon and Ana, you did this on purpose you chose Cross publishing on purpose and you chose Seattle because you thought you'd get it published under the radar and it worked didn't it?"

"I was paid to offer it to Ana, I was paid to make sure Cross Publishing published it, if the Seattle office didn't go for it the next stop would have been the LA office and then finally the Chicago office, but Ana took it straight away" he glances at me.

"Who paid you?" Gideon asks speaking for the first time, "who is behind this?" he asks

"Christopher Vidal" Marcus says quietly.

I hear Eva gasp and Gideon closes his eyes.

"That's your brother isn't it Gideon?" I ask I am totally confused and I don't understand what is going on.

Gideon nods, "Yes my darling brother, who works for my step father at Vidal Records the label who has signed Brett Kline's band Sixth Ninths. This type of exercise would be totally up his street, but the question is why, I'd like to believe that he looking to generate hype for their new album but this hurts Eva, and it's me he has the issues with and I won't allow any more collateral damage".

Marcus looks horrified, "So he wants this to come out that the book is about Brett and Eva" he asks

Gideon nods, "undoubtedly" he says, "The new album is called Golden, and the first single is to be a song about his relationship with a girl who he meets at a gig and who leaves and he never sees again, so this book would tie in nicely especially as you called it Golden Girl".

"Oh my god, I had no idea, I got Golden Girl from the nickname Brett had for Eva, but I never had any idea he had planned all this, he told me that his brother owned a publishing house and he thought I was a talented author and suggested I approach one of them to publish the manuscript I said I didn't want to hurt my brother and he suggested I publish it under a pen name and use one of the branch offices to protect his anonymity but he was playing me all along, I have been so stupid, what the fuck am I going to do?" he stares pleadingly at the screen, I am totally speechless I feel responsible for taking him on but I say nothing and wait for Gideon to say something.

I see Gideon thinking carefully, "Ok, can you get yourself to New York, I will get Brett here and we can work this out between us if we can, catch it before the album is released. Ana if you could come out as well it would be helpful, so we can take care of things from the publishing angle, I'm sorry to do this to you as you have only just got back from your visit here over thanksgiving but I do believe it would be necessary for you to be here" he looks at me and I nod. Christian isn't going to be happy about this but it can't be helped.

"Ok" I say, I will do whatever it takes to clear up this situation, I have no idea what Gideon is planning but he looks confident that it can be sorted. My attention is drawn to Marcus who is speaking.

"Mr Cross can I just say I will do whatever it takes to put this right" Marcus says desperately

Gideon nods, "Ana I need to know if there are any book signings and publicity stunts planned for this book"

I think for a moment, "Erm, well it took us by complete surprise we were going to organise something but the speed it took off and got into the best sellers it just didn't need it but we were planning something for the Christmas sales market shortly" I say

"Well cancel it, don't proceed, any questions say the author wishes to remain anonymous, there are no pictures of him in the book and as far as anyone is concerned his name is Thomas Williamson". He says firmly.

I nod, "it shouldn't be hard it is only at the planning stage at the moment and nothing firm had been established". I say.

Gideon smiles, "Good, I'll get in touch with Brett and organise a meeting I'll call you later Ana with the details" he says.

"Does it need to be face to face, Gideon, couldn't we set up a conference call like this?" I ask

Gideon thinks for a moment, "we could but I feel Marcus needs to speak to his brother face to face and there is a certain sensitivity to this, I don't want to risk anything being eavesdropped on from either end, if we can contain it her in one room rather than two it cuts that risk in half".

I nod, "Ok" I say.

"Look I know Christian isn't going to be too happy about this, do you want me to talk to him?" he asks gently.

I shake my head firmly, "No that's not necessary I can do it" I say, "but you do realise he will insist on sending someone with me" I add

"No problem" Gideon says

"Right then are we done?" I ask carefully

"Eva, do you need to say anything?" Gideon asks, Eva shakes her head, "No I think we are all done, I'll call you later with the details, bye for now" he says returning his attention to me.

"Ok bye Gideon, Eva" I say, the screen goes blank and I am left with a devastated looking Marcus.

"I swear I had no idea" he says looking helplessly at me, "I just thought he wanted to help"

I shake my head, "don't feel bad, I felt terrible when Eva told me, I felt I had betrayed our friendship, but there is a lot of bad blood between Gideon and his brother, its sad" I stop not wanting to give away anything else.

"I feel like I have been played" Marcus says

"I know, that's how I felt when I found out about who you were" I say.

* * *

"NO FUCKING WAY!" Christian is pacing and running his hands through his hair, I stare at him, I know he was not going to be happy but this over reaction is something else.

"But Christian" I try to pacify him, I am trying desperately not to lose my temper, but he just isn't listening.

"I said NO" he snaps and swipes his hand "Enough the subject is closed" he turns to walk away.

"Now you hang on a moment Mister" I stand up and put my hands on my hips, Christian turns at the tone of my voice and before he can retort I let fly, "who the hell do you think you are? I am not your possession, this is part of my job and as part of my job I have got to go to New York and sort out this mess, with Gideon and Marcus, you have no say in this matter, you can stand there and protest all you like but I am going, I need to go, I have to go, unless you can come up with a reasonable argument why I shouldn't, and I don't mean you just having a tantrum and saying I'm not going, because that is not a damn reason Christian, you need to be specific and just so you know, your paranoid insecurity is not a reason" I stop and wait for him to speak.

"I just don't want you to go" he says quietly

I shake my head, "Not a good enough reason" I say and turn and leave the room.

I call Gideon and tell him about Christian's tantrum and that I will be flying out tomorrow, he offers to send a plane for me and I agree as I don't want to fly commercial and I know Christian won't let me use the GEH jet the mood he is in.

Christian sulks in his office for the rest of the evening, and I end up going to bed alone, very early the next morning I am finishing packing the small case and I go to find my husband to try and make peace before I leave.

I find him eating his breakfast and he glares at me as I approach him.

"I'm going then" I say

I watch as he nods but says nothing. I sigh and press a small kiss to his forehead.

"Please don't hate me for this" I whisper in his ear.

"I don't hate you" he replies

"Then why are you behaving like a child?" I ask

He turns and looks up at me, "Because I am fucking scared" he says

I sit down and place my hand over his, "What are you scared about?" I ask gently

I see him sigh and he is obviously debating on what to say, "Welch and Taylor have had information on a credible threat someone wants to hurt us Ana and if you are in New York and something happens to you it will kill me" he says

I stare at him, "Why didn't you tell me this last night?" I ask

"Because I'm a fucking asshole" he says shaking his head.

I think quickly, "Look, I am flying on one of Gideon's jets I have Sawyer with me and I am staying with Gideon and Eva rather than alone in the apartment, I will be fine, I will call you as soon as I land and I will keep in touch with you and let you know when I leave New York and when I arrive back in Seattle, I will be fine" I say encouragingly

I see him processing this information; "Ok" he says quietly, I sigh and let out a breath of relief. He drops his fork on his plate and stands pulling me to my feet and holding me tightly.

"Please be careful and don't let Sawyer out of your sight" he says.

"I promise, I'll be careful and Sawyer will be surgically attached to me" I say I touch his face and he leans into my touch.

"If anything happened to you" he says and closes his eyes and shakes his head.

"I know, and that goes for you too you know!" I say "You keep Taylor close and don't get taking any unnecessary risks I don't want to be worrying about you all the while I am in New York, ok?" I say

"Deal" he says with a small shy smile, he kisses me gently on the lips and holds me tightly.

"Ok, I have to go" I say gently pushing him away.

"Have a good trip" he says and kisses me again.

I return the kiss and grin at him, "I will see you tomorrow" I say I squeeze his arms gently and then pick up my case and head towards Luke who is waiting patiently for me.


	61. Chapter 61

CHAPTER 61

I arrive back in New York mid afternoon and Angus is waiting for us with the Bentley, Luke quickly loads the cases into it and Angus takes us to Gideon's apartment and lets us in to freshen up, as soon as we have arranged our belongings in the guest rooms we leave and Angus takes us to the Crossfire.

In the elevator I see Luke scanning his messages.

"Is everything ok?" I ask as I watch him, since Christian's disclosure this morning I am feeling a little on edge.

He lifts his head up and nods, "Yes ma'am, Taylor has just messaged me, he and Mr Grey are taking Charlie Tango to Portland, he is visiting WSU again, he has given them another grant".

I nod, I knew this was coming up and it makes sense that he visits while I am here in New York. As we exit the elevator Gideon is standing talking to three men in suits he turns when he sees me and smiles widely.

"Ana, good to see you, did you have a good flight?" he asks

I nod, "I did, thank you, I thought I'd drop by, Angus let us into your apartment and we have taken over the guest rooms, are you sure you don't mind us staying with you?" I look carefully at him.

"Not at all" he says, he turns back to the three men who are standing looking uncomfortable.

"Gentlemen, let me introduce Mrs Anastasia Grey, she is an editor at Cross Publishing based at my Seattle office, we have a few issues with an author which necessitated her visit to New York, Ana these are my attorneys"

I nod and say a polite hello, and shake their offered hands.

As we are standing talking the doors of the elevator open and a tall woman exits, she makes a beeline straight for me and holds out her hand, Luke is immediately on alert especially when Gideon scowls at her.

The three attorneys disappear into the waiting elevator car and I turn to face the woman.

She looks at Gideon and holds her hands up in surrender.

"I am not here to see you, I need to speak to Mrs Grey". She looks at Luke, and holds her hand out.

"You must be Luke Sawyer" she says confidently

"Who exactly are you?" I ask

"I do apologise, my name is Deanna Johnson, I am a freelance reporter, but I found out you were in New York and I am here on a private matter concerning a mutual _friend_ of ours, Jose Rodriguez Junior" she says

I gasp, my mind wanders back to the list of women who he had stalked previously. "You were an ex of his" I say quietly.

She nods, "I was until his obsessive nature got to be too much, I believe I have information which you need to see, I have been keeping tabs on him for my own sanity and some interesting things have come to light, which I believe you should know about and you too as Mrs Grey's security" Deanna says looking briefly at Luke.

"Come, let's go to my office" Gideon says

"Thank you" Deanna replies gratefully.

We all sit down in Gideon's office, before we can say anything Deanna takes a folder from her bag, and puts it on the table.

"Before we go any further what's in this for you Deanna?" Gideon says suspiciously

Deanna smiles and sighs, "Gideon Cross the world does not revolve around you, as much as you think it does, call me a concerned citizen, but in reality, I have been keeping an eye on Jose since we split and I know what he is capable of, the man is unhinged, he believes that the person he is infatuated with belongs with him at all costs, no matter what that involves, he tried to kill my brother who he believed was a new boyfriend, he tried to run him over, in his pickup".

I go cold at that thought and I look at Luke who is quickly texting and then at Gideon.

"Erm Deanna could I just ask you to wait one moment I think there is someone else who needs to hear this, I pull my phone out and call Taylor, the call goes immediately to voicemail, I look at Luke.

"Jason's phone is off?" I say the panic rising inside me

Luke nods but doesn't seem concerned. "He and Mr Grey are flying to Portland they are probably in the air and you know what Mr Grey is like with safety" he says

I nod and then I call Geoff Welch, as this needs to be passed on and if Taylor isn't available Welch is the next best bet.

"Mrs Grey what can I do for you?" The kind voice of Geoff Welch comes over the line.

"Hi Geoff, erm, something has come up can you Facetime me on my phone please?" I say.

"Sure thing Mrs Grey" he says.

A few moments later and Geoff is in on the little meeting in Gideon's office. Deanna recaps what she has already said and then proceeds to open the file in front of her.

"I have a private detective who keeps a discreet eye on Jose for me and monitors his whereabouts, and when it was reported he was visiting Jack Hyde in prison I wondered who he was and did a bit of digging and came up with the sexual harassment complaint against Mrs Grey or Miss Steele as she was then, and the fact Hyde had hit Mrs Grey's father in Portland, now that got my suspicious reporter mind working and my theory is Hyde was meeting up with Jose, what else would he be doing in the area at that time, and your dad was in the wrong place at the wrong time".

"But Jose didn't know Jack" I say in confusion.

Deanna smiles at me and continues. "My private detective friend spoke to Jose snr and he admitted that your father had spoken to him about your concerns about Jack and the sexual harassment here in New York, Jose had mentioned it to his son, in passing, so it is my assumption he reached out to Jack – as he visited New York a number of times while Jack was in prison there". She stops.

I feel sick I look at Luke who is furiously making notes, and I see he has his phone recording this conversation.

"There is one more thing, there is a link between Jack Hyde and your husband, Mrs Grey" Deanna says.

"What? Jack and Christian, Christian owns SIP now I know that but Jack was fired" I say.

"Miss Johnson, please if I may" Welch interrupts

"What's going on?" I ask feeling suddenly afraid.

"Mrs Grey, I believe Mr Grey told you there was a credible threat emerged recently" Welch says gently.

"Yes he did, he said he didn't want me come to New York because of it" I say

"We have discovered that during Mr Grey's formative years after he was removed from the apartment, and before Mr & Dr Grey adopted him, he was in the care of Michigan State and in a foster home, and Jack Hyde was in the same home at the same time, and we have discovered worrying material on Mr Hyde's home computer regarding a fixation with the Grey family, and he is still quite obsessed with you Mrs Grey" Welch stops and I feel myself wanting to be sick.

Gideon steps towards me and sits beside me gripping my hand tightly. "Come on Ana, hold it together" he whispers in my ear.

I nod, "may I have a drink of water please?" I ask

Gideon nods and walks to the small bar and pulls out a bottle of chilled water and hands it to me, "Does anyone else want anything?" he asks looking around the room, there is a chorus of no thank you and Gideon takes his seat back next to me again.

I take a long drink of water, and then look towards Deanna again. "Ok so is that it?" I ask

She shakes her head, "No, the latest photographs I have received from my private investigator show Jack is now out of prison again and he was seen in a cafe in Seattle meeting with Jose Rodriguez she pushes the photographs towards me, they look deep in conversation and papers are being passed between each other.

"Are you getting this?" I ask Welch and point my phone at the photographs. Luke takes them and looks at them carefully.

"May we have these?" he asks Deanna and she nods.

"Now I don't know what he is planning but my gut tells me it isn't anything good, there was also a third man who came and sat with them, an older man – quite a bit older and he seemed to know Hyde and was introduced to Jose" Deanna produces another photograph and I gasp in shock.

"Oh my god Luke, look it's him!" I exclaim, I leap to my feet, pointing at the photograph.

As clear as day is Tony Garrett the pimp who terrorised Christian shaking hands and smiling at Jack Hyde, in his other hand is a lit cigarette and I go cold as I see it.

I feel my anger rising, I pick up my phone and glare at Welch who has the grace to look embarrassed. "My husband pays you to find this out and yet we are here with our fingers up our asses finding this out only now, can you explain to me why this is the case and why your team have failed?" I shout at my phone screen.

"Mrs Grey, I ...I have no idea but believe me heads will roll" Welch says

"Beginning with yours I assume when my husband hears about this" I say grimly. I turn to Luke, "Have you been able to get in touch with Taylor yet?" I ask, Luke shakes his head. "What time were they due to land in Portland?" I ask, I have a horrible sense of foreboding and I see Luke piecing things together from what we have now learnt. He calls up the itinerary on his phone and looks at his watch.

"According to this Mr Grey should definitely be in Portland by now, Seattle time" he says and for the first time looks worried.

I turn to my phone, "Welch call WSU in Portland and see if Mr Grey arrived at the University" I say

"Yes Ma'am" he replies and the screen goes blank.

I feel myself starting to cry.

"Come on Ana stop jumping to conclusions" Gideon says gently and wraps his arm around me. Deanna looks horrified and just sits quietly. It suddenly occurs to me she is a reporter sitting her on the possibly the biggest scoop of her life.

"Luke do you have any NDA's on you?" I ask

He frowns and then glances at Deanna and understanding what I am getting at he nods.

"Yes ma'am we always carry a couple of copies around just in case" he says. He pulls them from his inside pocket and pushes one towards me, I hand it to Deanna.

"I thank you for the information you have given us but I hope you realise none of what has been discussed here can leave this room, if the press get wind of this it could put my husband and myself and our family in danger, plus if anything has happened to Christian, I really don't want a media scrum when i return to Seattle" I say

Deanna smiles and nods, "not at all, I did say this was all a private matter, so for me it is all off the record, but I will sign if you want me to, not all reporters are low life scum, some of us have morals and scruples about what and when to report something"

I nod, "yes I know my best friend is a journalist" I say

"Who is that?" Deanna asks

"Kate Kavanagh" I reply

"As in Kavanagh Media?" she asks

I nod, "her father's company" I say.

We are interrupted by my phone ringing, I quickly answer.

"Welch talk to me" I say trying to sound calm and in control.

"I am so sorry Mrs Grey; it appears that Mr Grey never arrived in Portland".


	62. Chapter 62

CHAPTER 62

"I am so sorry Mrs Grey; it appears that Mr Grey never arrived in Portland".

The words echo around my head and I drop my phone and sink to my knees. In a moment Gideon and Luke are beside me, Luke takes my phone and starts speaking to Welch.

"Talk to me Ana" Gideon asks

"He..he never arrived in Portland, he and Taylor are missing" I gasp, I grip Gideon's shirt and sob into his chest as he wraps his arms around me and gently pull me to my feet.

"We'll find him Ana, don't worry, we'll find him" he says.

I cry for a few more moments and then I stop and think, its up to me, i need to find my husband, I take a huge sniff and push away from Gideon. I look at Luke and hold my hand out for my phone, he hands it to me without a word.

"Welch, you do what you have to do to find him and so help me god if anything has happened to him or Jason I will have your balls on a platter" I say in a harsh tone

"Yes Mrs Grey" he says

I hang up and think carefully. I turn to Gideon.

"Gideon I need to get back to Seattle, can you handle Marcus and Brett alone? Also, can I borrow Raul to take with me; I really don't trust Welch any more?"

Gideon waves his hand "Consider it done, he heads out of the office and a few moments later he returns smiling.

"It's all sorted, thankfully Marcus was delayed and he just called to say he was unable to fly out today, so I have told him not to bother, the meeting for tomorrow morning has been cancelled and we will reschedule it later. Come on lets get you to Seattle" he says holding out his hand to me.

I stand and turn to Deanna, "Thank you Deanna" I say remembering my manners.

"Not at all Mrs Grey, I hope you find Mr Grey soon" she says

"Thank you Deanna" Gideon says curtly, Deanna just nods at him and leaves the office.

I glance at my watch it is nearly 5:10 in the afternoon, I quickly estimate that we should be back in Seattle before midnight. Gideon is on the phone and my attention is drawn to Gideon's office door as it opens and Eva appears she walks up to me and grips me tightly in a fierce hug.

"Ana, Gideon called me and told me, don't worry he will be fine, we will find him" she says

I don't say anything I can't I feel numb, my mind is whirling with everything, I just nod at her. She grips my shoulders and makes me look at her.

"Ana listen to me, Gideon is going with you to Seattle and he is going to help you find Christian ok?" she says as she looks closely at me and I just nod again.

"Thank you" I say quietly.

I suddenly think about Gail and wonder if she knows what is going on, I quickly pull out my phone and call her.

"Hello Grey Residence" she says when she answers.

"Gail its Ana" I say trying to keep my voice even.

"Hello Ana, how's New York?" she says brightly and I realise immediately that she has no idea.

"Gail, I need you to listen to me, and I need you to stay calm, I am coming home, Christian and Jason are missing, they never made it to Portland, there are other things you need to know but I will discuss them with you when I get back, I am just waiting for Gideon he is flying out with me and he is bringing Raul with him to help us find them. Welch is allegedly on the case, but there have been some major gaps and lapses in the security".

"Oh god Ana, no" Gail sounds distraught

"Listen to me Gail, I am on my way home, I will talk to you as soon as I get back, I am going to call Welch and get him to update you while I am in the air".

"Thank you Ana" she says "I'll see you later have a safe flight"

I hang up and call Welch, he is seriously pissing me off, didn't he realise as Jason's wife she had a right to know that her husband was missing.

"Mrs Grey, I'm sorry I don't have anything to report yet" he says warily as he picks up the phone.

"Let me ask you something Geoff, you are married aren't you?" I say

"I am Mrs Grey" he says

"If you had gone missing would you expect your wife to be informed and kept in the loop of what was going on?" I ask

"Well, yes I would" he says

"Right then, if that is the case, why the hell was Gail Taylor totally unaware of the situation when I just called her?" I snap

"I..." he begins, but I am on a roll.

"Jason Taylor is her husband for gods sake, she deserves to know, now I am leaving New York shortly, I want you to keep Gail updated for any developments while I am making my way home do you understand me?" I say

"Yes Mrs Grey" he says

I hang up without another word, it is rude but at this moment I just don't care, all I want is to find Christian.

"Ready?" Gideon asks, I nod and we head downstairs, waiting is Raul and Angus, Raul shakes my hand and informs me he has sent a team ahead to Seattle and they are in the air now. Angus tells me that he picked up our luggage from the apartment and we are all ready to go. I feel tears prickling at my eyes but I am determined not to cry, I thank them both and I climb into the waiting Bentley. All the way to the airport Gideon is on the phone, coordinating things from our end and getting a search underway.

It is dark when we arrive in Seattle, and Raul has been working tirelessly throughout the trip on a laptop with the team he sent ahead, he has made contact with Welch who it appears isn't thrilled about Gideon's team coming in and as he sees it taking over.

When we arrive at Escala Gail is waiting anxiously for news. I walk to her and hold her and we hug tightly. Luke leads Raul into the security office and they set up a command centre there.

"Has Welch called you?" I ask

Gail nods, "he did he apologised for not telling me, and he said he is doing everything he can to find Mr Grey and Jason".

I nod, "well he has Gideon's team to help him now" I say, I look at her carefully, "we need to stay calm and keep positive" I say looking at her carefully Gail nods and manages a weak smile.

My attention is drawn to the doorway as I see two figures walking into the apartment, it is James Reynolds and Christopher Ryan two CPO's who Jason calls on for backup on occasions.

"Hi, what are you two doing here?" I ask

"Mrs Grey, we have come to help we were made aware of the situation through our colleagues who work for Welch and we want to help you find T and the boss" they say. I smile at them and lead them to the security office Luke glances at them and grins when he sees them. Raul looks round and straightens up.

"Raul this is Christopher Ryan and James Reynolds, they have come to help, Jason uses them as CPO's on occasion" I explain.

Raul shakes their hands and introduces himself and quickly launches into a complex description of what he is doing and where the search should be co-ordinated from. I watch helplessly, then something occurs to me.

"Luke all the cars have tracking devices on them, does Charlie Tango have anything similar?" I ask hoping that I am not asking a stupid question.

Luke smiles, "It does Mrs Grey but it appears to be damaged we are not getting accurate readings from it but we have a rough idea of the area Mr Grey and T should be, it is near Silver Lake a team are on their way there now to sweep the area" he says kindly

Gail appears with some drinks and food for the men and I leave them to it, I realise I need to call Grace.

I pick up my phone and dial the number.

"Hello, Dr Trevelyan speaking" she says

"Grace it's Ana, something terrible has happened" I say.

"What's happened?" Grace asks

"Christian was supposed to be flying to Portland today in Charlie Tango but he never made it, he never arrived, something has happened Grace" I hear my voice get choked with emotion.

"Oh my god no" Grace gasps the next thing I know I hear Carrick on the line.

"Ana? What's happened this is Carrick" he says

I quickly recap everything I know and Carrick tells me they are on their way over to Escala.

I go and sit down on the sofa as I do so my phone rings and I look down and see Jose's name on the screen and I frown.

"Hello" I say answering it

"Ana, how are you?" he asks

"Hello Jose I really don't have time to talk to you" I say sharply

"Why what is wrong?" he asks, there is something not right about the tone of voice he is using it is almost smug and I believe that he is involved in my husbands disappearance in some way, I walk into the security office and get Luke's attention I quickly write down that Jose is on the phone and I press the speaker button so everyone in the room can hear the call.

"Ana, I just wanted to call and apologise for my actions previously, you are my friend and I crossed a line getting involved with your mother, I wasn't thinking clearly, I want to be your friend you need friends and I always want to be there for you should anything happen" he stops and in that moment I know he is involved, I look at Luke and he nods. He is recording the conversation and encourages me to try and get him to say more.

"What do you mean by that Jose?" I ask

"Oh nothing, nothing at all, it's just if anything were to happen to your husband I would want you to know that you could always turn to me for comfort and support" he says

Luke puts his hand on my arm as he can see I am getting angry and he doesn't want me to lose it.

"What are you saying Jose, you are talking in riddles?" I persist

There is a silence and then I hear a voice in the background which I recognise, my head whips up to Luke and I mouth Jack Hyde to him.

"Who is that with you Jose?" I ask

"Oh nobody important, just a friend" he says, for the first time I hear nervousness in his tone.

I hear Jack ranting in the background but I can't hear clearly what he is saying but I know Luke will be able to enhance it later so I keep talking to Jose.

"Jose, I'm sorry but you are not making any sense at all, you are talking in riddles and I have no idea why you have called me so i would appreciate it if you would get to the point as my husband will be home soon" I say

I hear him laugh, "are you sure about that Ana?" he says in a smug tone

"Of course I am sure" I say with confidence that I don't feel, the reality is that laugh filled me with dread and I am now desperately close to breaking down.

Jose's tone changes again to something dark and sinister, "Suppose he doesn't come home what would you do Ana, what would you do?" he says.


	63. Chapter 63

CHAPTER 63

I stare at the phone in shock and disgust at what Jose has just said. What on earth have they done? I look at Luke and he gestures for me to answer him.

I quickly pull myself together, "I'm not going to dignify that with a response" I say sharply, "What stunt are you trying to pull here Jose, if you think saying stupid things like that is going to endear me to you, you are clearly deranged".

"I'm sorry Ana I didn't mean that I don't know what came over me, I miss you Ana I want us to be how we used to be" he whines.

"Well you have a funny way of showing it, calling me and practically threatening my husbands safety, by making stupid comments"

"Ana I just want you to know that should anything happen to...him, I will be there for you" Jose says

"Him? He has a name Jose, and his name is Christian and I love him and nothing is going to happen to him" I say, hoping and praying that I am speaking the truth.

I hear jack talking again in the background and I ask Jose again who it is.

"Just a friend" he says

"Does this friend have a name Jose?" I ask

"Of course he does, its erm..." I hear Jack say something and there is a significant pause where he is obviously listening to Jack. "sorry Ana its Jack, his name is Jack" he answers confidently.

"Hello Jack" I call down the phone, and wait for a response, there is no reply

"He didn't hear you Ana" Jose replies, no, funny that, more like he knew if I heard his voice clearly I would recognise it, shame I already had.

"Oh well never mind Jose; Anyway is that all you wanted, I need to go now?" I say, I look questioningly at Luke and he nods in agreement that we are not going to get any more out of him.

"Yeah sure Ana, I don't want to keep you" Jose says.

"Goodbye Jose" I say and hang up. I turn to Raul and Luke, "Do you think we could get anything from that?" I ask

Luke nods, "Yes, I will enhance what Jack was saying in the background he was ranting a bit and he clearly said some things which _could_ prove to be incriminating and in the context of what Jose was saying it is clear they have something to do with the disappearance of Charlie Tango, plus we got a trace on where they were calling from, it is here in Seattle quite close to Boeing Field" he says.

I think for a moment, "Do you think they did something to Charlie Tango?" I ask suddenly afraid.

Luke glances at Raul and its as if a light bulb goes off in his head, he turns to Ryan and Reynolds, "Guys, head over to Boeing field and pull all the security footage from the GEH hanger where Charlie Tango is stored that you can get and review it, see if we can nail these fuckers, its a long shot as Mr Grey has security at the hanger but considering the lapses we have encountered during the past few hours its worth a look" Ryan and Reynolds both nod and turn to leave.

Just as they get to the door Raul's phone rings and he answers, as he does so Gideon bursts through the door, I had forgotten he was here, I had left him in the great room on his phone.

At the same time both Raul and Gideon exclaim, "They've found them!"

I feel my legs give way and Gideon rushes towards me and grabs me around my waist. "get Gail" I whisper, and Gideon nods and sitting me down on a seat before he goes to the door and shouts her. She appears looking pale and worried.

"They've been found" I say as tears pour down my cheeks. I stand and walk unsteadily to Gail as she dissolves into tears and we hold on to each other.

"Are they ok? Are they hurt?" Gail asks

I turn to Raul who is still speaking and looks grim. I feel my heart sink and so I look pleadingly at Gideon.

"I don't know, I just got a text from Jez who was heading the search party saying that they had found them, and that they are alive". Gideon says apologetically

"They are alive that's the main thing" Gail says gripping my arms tightly, I nod but I am watching Raul, he keeps glancing at me and Gail and I know there is something he is not telling us. He eventually hangs up and looks at Luke and Gideon and I feel Gideon come to my side.

"Mrs Grey, Mrs Taylor I think you had both better sit down" he says quietly. I grip Gail's hand and we both sit down staring anxiously at Raul.

He crouches in front of us and I feel my heart beating out of my chest. "They are alive, that's the main thing" he starts, "Mr Grey has sustained a serious back injury but he was conscious and has been airlifted to Portland hospital it's not clear how serious it is as yet but it appeared he has no sensation from his waist down" I gasp and my hand flies to my mouth, Raul turns to Gail, "Jason Taylor was unconscious when the team arrived, he has sustained a serious head injury along with other superficial injuries including what appeared to be a broken arm, he too has been air lifted to Portland hospital. Gail bursts into tears and I wrap my arms around her.

I see Luke glancing at the security cameras "Mrs Grey, Mr Grey's parents have arrived, and it appears Mr Grey's brother has also arrived. I nod and Luke goes to let them in. Moments later the door opens and Grace is beside us on her knees and wrapping her arms around us both.

"They are both strong fit men, they will be fine" she says after we have relayed the details. I'm not sure who she is trying to convince us or herself. I see Carrick, Kate and Elliot walk over and greet Gideon and he introduces them to Raul. I hear Elliot tell Raul that the media seem to have gotten hold of the story and that there are a number of reporters starting to gather outside Escala. I pull away from Gail and Grace, it occurs to me the one person who should be contacting me has yet again failed to do so. I pick up my phone.

"Mrs Grey how are you?" Welch asks when he answers.

"You are fired" I reply and hang up, my phone immediately rings and I answer with a curt "What?"

"Mrs Grey, I...I...I" he stammers, I put my phone down on the table and place the call on speaker so I can shout and gesticulate at the phone because at this moment I am so damned angry.

"Welch, you failed to see the threat from Jose, Jack Hyde and Tony Garrett, you failed to know that Charlie Tango was missing, you failed to know that my husband and Jason had been found and you failed to know how badly they were hurt, now we need to find out how Charlie Tango crashed, Luke has sent Reynolds and Ryan who came to help over to Boeing field to pull the security footage, because I received a call from Jose tonight making some very suspect comments about my husband and the call was traced to an apartment near to Boeing Field and Jack Hyde was with him at the time. Something else you failed to discover. So considering all your failings, can you explain why I shouldn't fire you on the spot?" I stop and I see Luke grinning behind his hand.

"Well for starters Mrs Grey I was hired by your husband not you" he says this really pisses me off and I look at Luke for clarification on this and he looks shocked at the way Welch has just spoken to me. He steps forward.

"Geoff you have just disrespected Mrs Grey in front of me and a room full of people, if you weren't fired before you will be when Mr Grey hears about that, and you know damned well Mrs Grey's orders are to be followed as if it was the boss, he made that clear right from the very start, so yes she does have the right to fire you" Luke says with a dangerous tone.

There is a deathly silence and I gear myself up for round two. "You are relieved of your position effective immediately" I say coldly.

I hang up and turn to Raul, "Can you recommend someone to replace Welch?" I ask nervously

Raul smiles at me. "Luke and I will take command until Mr Grey is ready to employ someone else and I know a few people who could do a better job of it than he did" I smile and thank him. I see Luke contacting security to get Welch removed, and I turn and look around the people in the room who are staring at me.

"Go Ana" Kate says with a grin, I smile despite my anxiousness.

"Ok I need to get to Portland" I say to the room at large, I look at Gail who looks up at me, "Correction, we need to get to Portland – now!" I say reaching out for Gail's hand.

Gideon pulls out his phone and makes a call, when he hangs up he looks at me. "Ana I have secured us all a ride to Portland, the only thing is it's in a helicopter, do you feel ok with that?" he asks.

I swallow hard and then nod confidently, Elliot and Carrick say they will follow in the cars and along with Kate they leave to make their way out through the gathering media scrum and head off. I turn to Luke"I need accommodation for us all in Portland, wait – Grace will you be staying over in Portland?" I ask glancing at her.

She nods and I turn back to Luke "so that's accommodation for myself, Gail, Gideon and Grace, you and Raul". Luke nods and pulls his phone out and makes the call. Ten minutes later Gideon gets a text.

"Ok our ride has arrived its on the roof waiting, at least you will get out without the media harassing you" he says, I am out the office and grabbing my jacket before he has finished speaking all I can think of is getting to Christian, Gail has similar determination and she is close behind me. Luke and Raul secure the apartment and we make our way to the roof. I hear Luke on the phone to Ryan and he looks at me, he places his hand on my arm.

"They've found something, they are bringing the relevant footage back to Escala they are going to work on it there". I feel my heart sink and I just nod.

"If they need any help tell them to contact Barney from GEH he's Christian's IT guy" I say.

Luke nods and relays this. We climb into the helicopter and for the first time I notice it has Cross Industries written on the side, I look at Gideon who shrugs.

"Christian talked me into buying it – he is going to teach me to fly the thing, its kept at Boeing Field for now, look inside and I see Stephan Christian's pilot, I smile at him.

"Stephan thank you for doing this" I say

"No problem Mrs Grey, I was heading out to meet up with the search team anyway, Mr Cross called me earlier, after Charlie Tango had been located to be on standby to go and help assess the damage with the salvage team" he says.

"Thank you" I say again.

We are soon in the sky as we rise up I glance down at the growing crowd of reporters outside Escala but I don't want to think about them all I can focus on is Christian as we are heading through the night towards Portland, Gideon has gained special permission for us to drop off at the hospital and very soon we are landing in the hospital grounds. I grip Gail's hand and Grace wraps her arm around me as we are ushered towards the hospital by Luke and Raul. We see a few reporters starting to gather here and they get excited when they see us before they start towards us I turn to Gideon.

"Are you not coming?" I ask, turning towards Gideon

He shakes his head, "No Ana I am going with Stephan to recover Charlie Tango and coordinate the salvage, I will see you in the morning" Gideon says he kisses my cheek before he heads off with Stephan in his helicopter.

I look at the stampede coming towards us, Luke is one side and Raul is the other as reporters try and block our way into the hospital. I can feel my anger rising all I want to do is get to my husband, we ignore them and push our way into the hospital. I see Luke on the phone calling in more security to help keep the reporters from gaining access to the hospital. He and Raul quickly exchange words and Luke comes with us while Raul stands guard preventing any reporters getting in.

I walk to the desk and speak to the young girl. "My name is Ana Grey I believe you have my husband here – Christian Grey and also Jason Taylor?" I say politely.

The girl nods and consults her computer screen.

"Mrs Grey?" I turn and see a tall blonde haired man walking towards us, Luke appears to know him as he smiles widely and holds his hand out.

Luke turns to me, "Mrs Grey this is Jez Hamilton, he was leading the search for Mr Grey and T, he works for Mr Cross".

"Pleased to meet you" I say

I shake his hand politely, as he quickly goes into what has happened. He tells me Welch was resisting the actions of Gideon's team from the moment they arrived and all Welch's security personnel could see he was not in full control of the situation and they were all anxious about locating Charlie Tango. He tells me he took command on the ground and coordinated all the teams to locate Charlie Tango and bring back Christian and Jason. He tells me a salvage crew has been sent to retrieve Charlie Tango and that he has security stationed around the hospital to prevent unauthorised access to Christian or Jason.

After my comprehensive debrief is complete I thank him politely and ask him if he has eaten and rested he smiles and nods.

"Ok I need to see Christian, and Gail needs to see Jason" I say firmly.


	64. Chapter 64

CHAPTER 64

I am standing in front of a young doctor, he has given me details of Christian's injuries and I am about to go inside to see him. Gail has gone up to the ICU to be with Jason.

The words of the doctor are running through my head. _Mr Grey has sustained a spinal injury. Cord injuries usually fall into one of the following categories: Contusions, or bruising of the spinal cord, Compression injuries that place pressure on the cord, Lacerations or tearing, Central Cord Syndrome and complete severing which is very rare. How long the symptoms of spinal cord injury last depends on the nature and extent of the injury. Minor bruising may go away over time, although full recovery sometimes takes weeks or months. More serious injuries often will result in permanent loss of function. Treatment of spinal cord injuries involves a 'wait and see' approach. _

_Mr Grey does not appear to have severed his spinal cord but the spinal cord does not have to be severed for function to be lost. When a spinal injury occurs and for a while following, the spinal cord swells. Early recovery of at least some movement or sensation suggests that additional recovery is possible. Lost sensation or function lasting more than 6 months is unlikely to improve. _

_If the injury is minor, only time will reveal the extent of recovery. For those with major injuries, a complete recovery is highly unlikely, and treatment consists of providing supportive care, teaching new skills and developing coping strategies._

_Mr Grey is resting at the moment he has been given steroid medication to reduce swelling in the spinal cord caused by the injury. You need to know that because traumatic injury to the spinal cord usually involves an injury to the bones and ligaments of the spine, surgery may be performed. The aim of some surgeries is to remove bone that is pressing on or into the spinal cord. A surgeon may also want to stabilize or realign the spine in the area of the spinal cord injury when the vertebrae or ligaments have been damaged but we will know more when the swelling has reduced and we will be performing a scan to see what exactly we are dealing with. _

Grace is gripping my hand tightly as I open the door to the private room, I see Christian lying flat on the bed his body is braced and he has a collar on to prevent movement. He has his eyes closed and he has been crying.

"I'll give you two a moment alone" Grace whispers and she lets go of my hand, I smile gratefully at her and enter the room.

"Christian?" I whisper as i walk closer.

His eyes fly open at the sound of my voice. "Ana? Is that you Ana?" he says quietly.

"Yes, I'm right here" I grasp his hand and I am relieved when he grips it tightly.

"What happened?" I ask

"Something broke on Charlie Tango and the next thing I knew we were falling out of the sky, there was no way I could land safely, but somehow I managed it, well sort of, but it was a rough landing and we were thrown out of her, Taylor? How's Taylor?" Christian asks.

"He's alive, Gail is with him at the moment" I say, I don't tell him he is in an induced coma due to brain swelling. I see Christian sigh with relief.

"Christian we need to talk" I say

"Yes we do, don't worry baby, I'll let you go, I can't expect you to stay with me like this I..." he starts, I quickly interrupt him

"Don't you dare" I snap

"What?" he says in confusion

I stand and lean over him, "Christian if you think I would be so shallow as to leave you because you can't walk...well I have never been so insulted in my life, we will get through this together, I grip his hand, and run my hand down his leg, he grips my hand tightly and his eyes widen.

"Ana did you just touch my leg?" he asks

"Yes baby I did" I say

"Do it again" he demands I do so, "Go lower" he says I run my hand all the way down his leg to his foot.

"I can feel it, it feels strange like pins and needles but I can feel it" he says

I lean over and kiss him, "I'll go and get someone, your mom is waiting outside to see you I'll send her in" I say.

I run outside and Grace stands up and looks at me in surprise.

"He has sensation in his legs, I touched him and he felt it, I need to find someone" i say a huge smile on my face, the relief on Grace's is immediate; She goes in to him as I go to the nurses desk.

The nurses look up at me in surprise as I rush towards them.

"My husband, Christian Grey, I touched his leg and he felt it, he said it felt strange like pins and needles but he felt it" I blurt, gripping the edge of the desk.

"I'll page Dr Walker" one of the nurses says

"Thank you" I reply and return to Christian's room.

Grace is standing brushing her fingers through Christian's hair and gripping his hand she is talking to him and he is looking at her.

"Christian the doctor is coming" I say.

"Ana come here where I can see you" Christian says

"What is it?" I ask

"Talk to me Ana, you said we needed to talk"

I sigh, "It can wait until the doctor has seen you, ok?" I say gently

"No I want to know now" he demands his voice rising.

"Ok, don't get upset" I say I walk around to the other side of the bed and take his other hand.

"I was in New York and Deanna Johnson approached me, she was an ex of Jose's and is a reporter, she told me some pretty disturbing things about him and she has had a private investigator following him he came back with some pictures of Jose meeting Jack Hyde and...Tony Garrett in Seattle, Luke was having difficulty in contacting Taylor so I called Welch and he said you had never reached Portland. Gideon got me home and he came with me with Raul, he sent a team ahead to assist Welch, Welch has been a complete dick, he has failed at every turn and in the end I fired him, Luke had a go at him, Luke and Raul are coordinating your security at the moment. Jose phoned me tonight and started making comments about you which got me suspicious, we believe Jack was with him, Luke traced the call to an apartment near Boeing field, which got us thinking they had sabotaged Charlie Tango, Ryan and Reynolds came to help in the search and Luke sent them to Boeing Field to check security footage and they have found something, I told them to call Barney to help them if they need to, Gideon got us here and Raul is downstairs as there is a number of media here, Carrick, Elliott and Kate are on their way here by car. Luke is outside I'm sure he will brief you better than I have done, but that's basically what has happened" I stop and I see his mouth drop open.

"Ok, where is Gideon now?" Christian asks

"He went to help salvage Charlie Tango" I reply

The door opens and Dr Walker enters the room.

"Mr Grey, good evening, may I perform a few tests to establish how much sensation you have regained?"

"Yes" Christian replies, Grace and I move out of the way as the doctor moves towards Christian. He pulls the covers back and I gasp at his bruised legs and body.

We watch as the doctor trails a pen down Christian's legs and on his feet, he feels it and describes what it feels like. Dr Walker beams at him.

"Well Mr Grey, it appears you are an incredibly lucky man and it would appear you should make a good recovery, we will send you for a scan tomorrow and take it from there".

I start to cry with relief and fling my arms around Christian, I feel his arms embrace me.

"Hey come on baby" he says. "Ana will you do me a favour?" he asks seriously. I pull away and nod, "Will you go and find Taylor and find out how he is please?" he asks me.

"Of course I will" I say, I kiss him carefully on the lips and leave him with Grace who resumes her seat at his side.

I walk up to the ICU and wait a nurse comes to me.

"Hello can I help you?" she asks

"Yes I am here to see Mr Jason Taylor" I reply

"Are you immediate family?" she asks

I shake my head, "Not exactly" I reply

"I'm afraid I can't let you in then, his wife is with him at the moment" she replies

"Excuse me...erm Heather" I say glancing at her badge, "But that man in there is more than family, Jason Taylor would take a bullet for myself and my husband and his wife has been more of a mother to me than my own has so when you talk of family, the definition is slightly burred in this instance" I stop and see her reaction. I glance up and see Gail looking at me.

"Ana, come in" she says glaring at the young nurse. I walk towards her and embrace her.

"How is Mr Grey?" Gail asks immediately

"He's good, he is starting to regain sensation in his legs so the prognosis is good" I say, I see Gail sigh with relief and we walk towards Jason, his head is bandaged and his arm is in a cast, he has wires and tubes coming out of everywhere.

"Oh my god" I whisper when I see him.

"It looks worse than what it is" Gail assures me. "He is doing well, he has some swelling on his brain, but it is starting to recede which is faster than they expected, they say because he is so strong and fit everything is in his favour. They are keeping him in a coma to allow his brain to heal, they are taking him for a scan tomorrow and know more then" She says. We both stand there and support each other, two wives concerned about our husband's welfare and united in our worry.

I walk over to Jason and sit down and take his hand, "You need to get well soon Jason, Christian is fine, he is in much better shape than you are and you need to get well, there is no need to worry about security Luke is doing a good job and he has help, Gideon has sent a team to help us and everyone is pulling together, all you need to concentrate on is getting well" I press a small kiss to his bandaged forehead.

"Mrs Grey may I go and see Mr Grey?" Gail asks

I nod, "Of course you can, Grace is with him at the moment, and we are expecting Carrick and Elliott to arrive soon, but he would be pleased to see you" I quickly explain where he is and assure her I won't leave Jason while she is gone.

_Downstairs in Christian's room..._

"Mom I need your help" I look at my mother and she smiles at me

"Christian you know I would do anything I possibly could for you" she replies

"Mom while I am in here, please take care of Ana for me, she will run herself into the ground, she won't leave, she won't eat, sleep and she will take on everything, don't stop her because she is stubborn and won't thank you for it but please be there for her and make sure she takes care of herself as well" I look pleadingly into her face.

"Christian, you don't have to ask that of course I will, and I'll make sure that Luke is aware as well"

We are distracted by a knock at the door, it opens and I see Gail standing there she looks pale and worried and the guilt nearly overwhelms me.

"Mr Grey, I hope you don't mind, I just popped down to see how you are, Ana is sitting with Jason at the moment" she says

"I'll leave you two a moment to talk" my mother releases my hand and stands to leave.

"Oh no Dr Trevelyan Grey don't leave on my account" Gail says immediately

My mom smiles at Gail and assure her its fine.

"Gail come here a moment where I can see you properly" I say

She steps closer and looks down at me, I look up into her face and I nearly break as see the pain etched into her face and eyes.

"I am so sorry Gail, how is Jason?" I ask

"He's holding his own, he has a small amount of swelling on his brain and the doctors have induced a coma to keep him still while it subsides. But it is reducing all ready, he is fighting"

"Good" I reply, I was terrified that Taylor had died I was conscious all the time we waited until help came I kept talking to him but received no reply I knew he was in a bad way if not dead and it nearly destroyed me. "I'm sorry for all this Gail" I say again.

"No sir, don't say that, its not your fault its those sick bastards who seem to have it in for you and your family, they are the ones to blame. Excuse me for speaking out of turn sir but Welch, something is going on there, he was almost obstructive instead of helping and don't be angry with Ana I believe she was right for firing him, Luke and Gideon's man...erm Raul are handling everything at the moment and you are not to worry about anything, my sister Jean is going to come to Seattle and help me out while you and Jason are out of action – I hope that's alright? You met her a while ago".

"Gail you do whatever you need to do" I say, "I'll let you get back to Jason" I add.

Gail smiles at me and after hesitating a moment she touches my hand, "You are a good man, don't ever forget that" she says and then she is gone.

I think about what she has just said, I am shocked, she seems as though she is fond of me, I would never have believed it. A few moments later and Ana returns, she looks tired, she has flown from Seattle to New York and back again in a day and whatever time it is now she must be exhausted.

"Hey baby" I say as she walks towards me and kisses me.

"Hi" she replies.

"What time is it baby?" I ask

She looks at her watch and sighs, "Nearly 4am" she says I gasp she has been up all night.

"Ana you need to rest, please go home and sleep" I say firmly.

As I expected she shakes her head, "No I'm staying with you" she says stubbornly.

I grip her hand tightly, "Ana do I have to call Luke and get him to carry you out of here, go home, rest and get some sleep" I stop and snort, "I'm not going anywhere!" I add with a grin.

A weak smiles plays on her lips and I can see she is tempted but she doesn't want to leave me, just then my mother returns.

"Mom is that you?" I ask

"Yes darling I'm here" I mother says

"Mom, please get Ana to go home and rest" I say firmly.

"Carrick, Elliot and Kate have arrived they want to see you so I'll take Ana back to the Heathman, we have rooms there for tonight" she says, I watch as she takes Ana's hand and reluctantly Ana allows her to lead her out, but not before she wraps her arms around me and kisses me once more.

"Get some rest baby" I say in her ear and she nods at me.


End file.
